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Over the past few weeks, I’ve given a lot of thought to my other CD members here about the mindset comparison between us and them. I’ve concluded that how we judge women today, and in that we EXPECT them to “see it our way”’ and think as we think, is wrong.
So read along ladies while polishing your nails to the following editorial of my personal opinion. Comments are welcome either way.
I'm going to be 77 in a few months. Probably like many of you here, being a mature senior crossdresser, you too remember the golden age of the 50s and 60s when women looked and dressed in a much more feminine than they choose to today. This happened for a variety of reasons. It was the age of gartered stockings, girdles and under foundation, coifed hairstyles, and low to high heels every day. It was getting dressed nicely for office, work, church, or even going shopping downtown. It was the television era of Donna Reed, Father Knows Best, Harriet Nelson, and half a dozen more.
Like many others, I started secretly dressing in my early teens and by 15 to 16 was dressed and walking around in public in the neighborhood. I was a teenage girl. Oh, what a time it was…
We were all called “Transvestites” back then, and we had no idea what that term was or meant. Years later, it switched to crossdresser, and then came the new terminology “Transexual” and a half dozen other terms prefixed by Trans.
Today, from us admiring the use and wearing of makeup, skirts, dresses, wigs, and those marvelous stilettos we see it as the norm and in the excitement of expressing our femininity. We EXPECT today’s women should clearly want to do the same as us. They should see what they have missed and how they should and could look and dress better, according to our archaic ways of thinking. This is what WE Expect-and shouldn’t.
They shouldn't and they won’t! Nor should we expect any female from their late teens to senior citizens to do so.
We are not them, and they are not us.
Today, the world of the 21st-century female is about wearing multi-ripped jeans, no makeup while out in public shopping, (save for lipstick and mascara), black leggings, or yoga tights. Sneakers, summer flip flops, sketches, or chunky ankle boots with 2” soles.
Not Our idea of how today's woman should look –is it?
Well, it shouldn't be. They were brought up in a different time, a different world, one with changing fashions, trends, and norms. …. I remember fondly 20 or so years ago when my "girlfriend" crossdresser and I would go out every Saturday night to an all-accepting CD-friendly neighborhood gay bar. We got to know some of the gay men and lesbian girls. One evening, I was shooting pool with this petite attractive lesbian girl who was fully aware that I was a CD, but it didn’t matter. I asked her a curious question: ”How do YOU FEEL if and when you dress up to the nines as a feminine woman in a dress or skirt, stockings, and heels?” Her reply … ”Like a Million Bucks!" ” That's how us Crossdressers feel ALL THE TIME," I replied.
So to wrap up this opinionated article; let’s all of us continue our own enjoyment of being our girly feminine self and thoroughly enjoy the life that we have chosen. The fabulous world of crossdressing!
And… let's leave today's GG’s alone and not EXPECT anything of them from our perspective of how they should and instead let them be who they are.
I guess I’m thinking like ‘them’.
If I’m going anywhere ‘dressed’, a very important consideration is to fit in. I appreciate the casual and wildly variable looks that are accepted today.
Trudi,
I agree with you, and always do and try to fit in so not to be noticed, I don't want to stand out as a man in a dress that is inappropriately dress for the wrong place and occasion. You may have misunderstood the whole overall intent of my article and its viewpoint; it was simply a comparison of today's modern generation GGs and us. I was only reminiscing about the old days not trying to denigrate today's women's dressing choices or fashion history and current trends. Thank you for your comments.
Meghan
@meghan47 yeah,I think you and I understand this but not sure about the young crowd. My partner said to me today while shopping, “ Did you buy the pj set today? It’s so you!” I replied no, maybe another time. She was right. It was animal print with big sleeves with Maribor sleeve ends and pant leg ends. So Marilyn Monroe style. Something I would usually jump at but never her. She’s just not that kind of girl. She likes nice stuff, just not the sexy styles. I never expect her to be like me in styles and vice versa really, but we both know each others style and accept them. Women today are not interested in super sexy stuff compared to twenty years ago. Try buying pantyhose today. Hardly a pair to be found in stores today. Women don’t want them. I’m slowly accepting leggings now and wear them regularly with and without heels. Still love my hose though and probably always will.
I will always wear gartered STOCKINGS! I'm an old-fashioned girl who will not give them up. To hell with pantyhose
Oh I have agenerous supply of stockings as well at home but while travelling, I often just wear pantyhose as it’s easier with less fiddling about.
Hi, Meghan, thanks for an informative,entertaining and thought-provoking article.
Yes, I was born in 1955 and my earliest memories of women are as you describe. It is that expression of femininity I aspire to. When I was younger, I went for a full corselette or open bottom suspender girdle with nylons Because that's what being feminine meant to me.
Now, although I still have a girdle, I prefer the comfort and ease of (good quality) tights.
Anyway, thanks again for your article, be well!
Allie x
@alexina You are welcome. I enjoyed writing it, and after a lot of open minded non prejudicial thought decide we, as CD should have our pink cloud of dressing and appearance of yesteryears fog our expectations of what toady's women should wear or look like.
We should enjoy those glory feminine years and still dress and look and cat feminine but always remembering that if we Really want to appear as a woman to 'blend in; accordingly, and wear what is appropriate for where we are going. casual, casual, casual, -with toned down makeup.
Meghan
Meghan I agree with you that today's casual look does not do a thing for me, the thought of buying a brand new pair of pants already filled with holes makes no sense to me. I was born in 1955 and can totally relate with what your speaking of, I mean June Cleaver is my icon, my idea of the perfect look but I also realize that's not how it is. I still see women dressed to the nines when their out on the town, and many of them have that Mrs. Cleaver look about them. They dressed to feel good about themselves and to look good for those around them, is what I would like to think anyway. But when someone who goes out in there ratty clothes or better yet their flannel pajamas, to me, show they just don't care, but that's not fair to say because it's today's fashion, just as pant suits and bell bottoms were in our youth and our parents thought that was atrocious, we didn't care though, because we knew that we look so hip and cool and they knew nothing about fashion.
Sherri
Yes, I am on your page, see my above reply to Alexina, and that reenforces the point I am making in this Article.
Meghan
That went in a different direction to what I thought Meghan.
I was born a decade later than you but women were very much the same and I loved the fashion. What we crossdressers think about todays women and what they wear is also shared by women of our generation as well. I mix with women a lot now through work and socially hearing the opinions all the time. Most wear nice casual clothes and some wear dresses or skirts even wear slips still too. When it comes to talking about other women then the gloves are off. There is a fashion, a polite way of calling it, for women to drop the kids off to school or shopping while they are still wearing their nightwear, and things like leggings on rather rotund ladies which is perhaps a little unsightly. There is an opinion that this is a slacking of standards while others would see it as 'expressing' the lifestyle or a fashion of today.
In our day women would dress nicely at all times, even for the weekly shop and it was always 'Sunday best' for church. I think it isn't about feminism it was, for us, dignity and pride which is what is said to be lacking in society and mattered not your wealth or status. We were changed by fashion, that is how we are but fashion represents lifestyle hence that blurs the lines between the two.
It would be nice to wear the clothes we wore as youngsters but it doesn't stop you from wearing more modern patterns and styles and who knows what you are wearing beneath.
Angela'
I totally agree with you on everything. We came from a different time, a different fashion era, and different sense of female pride in the way they 'used' to dress and appear. Sadly, it is gone, they live their way, and we continue to live ours ... 'old school'.
Meghan
When I go out in public, I leave no doubt that I am a female. I dress and act
like a girl, and my mannerisms are effeminate. I often wear my signature
petticoat and a ribbon in my hair. In the summer, I wear pretty sandals, orange-red
toenail polish, toe rings, and anklets.
Let the GGs wear whatever. I am the one who gets the compliments and love
every second of it, especially when gentlemen rush to hold doors open for me.
On a related note, at a local high school's prom last year, a few girls rented 1950s style evening gowns from a local costume store, complete with the long white
gloves. Much to the chagrin of other girls at the prom the story in the local rag
showed photos of many boys asking the girls wearing the 50s gowns to dance.
Looking at the modern dresses girls wear to proms today, they are junk when
compared to the elegant gowns of the 1950s.
Hi Meghan,
Many thanks for sharing your experiences and expectations.
Jamie
You are welcome, I really enjoyed writing it and putting my thoughts and cards on the table.
I Do wish I would hear some replies from genetic women who are members on their own womans Forum; I'd like to hear their input.
Meghan
Being the same age, I can relate to everything said. But I feel sad that the pride and privilege of being smartly or elegantly dressed seems to be lost in the current generation of youth. I realize I am biased, because I love the way women regularly looked and find it hard to imagine not enjoying it, whether a gg or CD. But it IS a lot of work, notreally necessary if guys and girls no longer care, and I suspect that is the reason, more than any other, that women have decided it is not worth the bother.
I attended MCC for quite awhile, welcoming a place that welcomed me, in my femme attire. Most women dressed very casually. I have always admired those who dress their Sunday best so did so, never wearing slacks or casual wear when I felt better in a dress. I stood out in the crowd. But rather than receive criticism for not blending in I was amazed that women started dressing up to MY expectations. They admired my threads and decided (correctly) that they could look even better with far less effort, so did!
I have to agree with Angela. This article shatters the stereotype that older gals can't change and don't appreciate the fashion sense of younger women. Thank you for the reset, Meghan! This is great!
I'm quite a bit younger but old enough to remember when women dressed nicely to do anything. The earliest years of my crossdressing were influenced by that era. But I came of age in the late 70's - mid 80's. Working in the music industry had a profound impact on my fashion sense. My role models were Exene Cervenka, Debbie Harry, Patti Smith, Joan Jett, Chrissie Hynde, and even Madonna. That fashion sense still resonates today. I'm a rock chick at heart. As a full-time gal, it makes everyday fashion easy. On the occasions when I glam up, it's a treat. Doing it all the time would be a chore.
I totally relate to today's modern woman that's happy to throw on leggings and a top, swipe on a bit of makeup, and zip out the door. Most days I'm too busy to fuss for an hour or more on my appearance. The world we live in is so fast paced compared to 50 years ago. Women adapted. They created new ways to look good that suited their hectic lives. I'm happy for that change. It works for me.
/EA
Sadly that is not the style anymore, I will keep wearing it though. I love the way those dresses look, and how they make me feel.
Just thought I would add this, it has been said that there aren't many dresses in the shops these days hence why women do not wear them any more. Perhaps the summer will bring out the maxi dresses or summer styles which is usual. But I have found many shops to have dresses of all lengths and styles throughout the year, so why would they stock what doesn't sell? There are smock dresses, tunic dresses and longer styles, my wardrobe is full and I wear one style or another every day for work, casual or evening out.
The one thing that is in short supply are slips which definitely seem to be low on the fashion scene and not readily worn. There are some available but tend to be plainer than the lace trimmed classics of yesterday. However trawling the internet there are quite a few of the retro styles on sale, maybe they are a bit of a price at times but worth it. I am lucky to have accumulated a number that will keep me going. I have a colleague at work who noticed I was wearing a slip and she was also a wearer and commented how hard it was to get the old style so we had a bit of a conversation about the 'old' days....next stop the old peoples home where we can talk about the good old days to the amusement of the younger staff..
Yes I agree that slips are definitely one thing that’s gone out of fashion, although I did get a nice one from M&S last autumn that I like wearing from time to time. It is fairly plain though as you say.
I love the final sentence. Yes a lot of us will be there sooner rather than later. Maybe we need a CDH rest home 🙂
Hi Meghan,
I have a bit of the opposite problem at home. I like to be super girly and love heels and dresses and the whole glam thing. My wife expresses concern that since I like those things so much, I must be disappointed that she does not dress that feminine.
I try to reassure her that I love the way she dresses and that she is very feminine and I don't want her to change. However, she thinks I am not being truthful with her since I like those things so much.
@michellemybell rule number one about women. They never believe the first thing out of our mouths in response to something they say, never. They genetically think we initially lie, then confess the truth. Just the way they are wired.
With the exception of bad drivers, I'm not a judgmental person. Women can wear what they want, and the casual styles today don't bother me a bit. It doesn't make me nostalgic for bygone days of foundation lingerie or dolling up for a trip to the grocery store. That they wear super casual jeans and a t-shirt doesn't keep me from dressing less casually, and since I don't dress to blend in anyway, it's all good. Besides, those casually dressed GGs have always been liberal with compliments. I dress to express myself, not to express the prevailing sartorial sensibility of the day. If I was hung up on blending in, I'd be indistinguishable from drab me. No thanks. I've said it before: I didn't come all this way to dress like an old woman.
- @justnikki That's the point Nikki, dressing as you want, to be yourself. I blend in my way using what is off the peg dressing for whatever I am doing, feeling good and even better when a compliment comes along.
Thanks Meghan for this interesting post. Having volunteered for the Army in 1970 you get the idea that I'm really not 37 anymore. However I do Glam Up about twice a month and Spruce Up (that's half way between glam and daily) every weekend. The Glam look is also from my youth and I try for a Sophia Loren, Bridget Bardot, Audrey Hepburn, Ann Margaret or Julie Newmar style. I also have a more modern Edgy Glam look that copies, Joan Jett, Tina Turner, Lady Gaga, Anne Hathaway, Kate Beckinsale, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman or Taylor Swift. And finally I have what I call the Daily Grunge look. Yup, that's the ripped jeans, band t-Shirt, or flannel and boots or runners with my ponytail hanging out of my cap. Daily, I try to blend in and not put on a show. I'm just clean and presentable. However, Glam night is the exception and then it's Showtime! Everyone else can do what they want but I'm still going to have my style of fun. Hopefully this old granny can still rock the house and not the rocking chair. Party on, Marg
I also grow up in the 60's watching old black and white movies. Women always wore beautiful dress and were treated like delicate flowers. As for GG's they rule and can wear whatever they please. I do believe that wearing your PJs in public is in bad taste unless you are dropping your children off at school. As for myself I believe I should wear what other women in my age group are wearing in my region.
Barbra
Hi Meghan,
My wife only dresses up in a dress if we are going to a party,
Around the house she will wear joggers and t-shirt, and when we go shopping she will wear jeans and sneakers, she doesn't have any high heels, it doesn't matter to me what she wears i still love her,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
