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Anyone over a certain age who was raised in the UK may remember the BBC programme Listen with Mother. Each episode began with the same calming phrase: ‘Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.’
So … are you sitting comfortably? I’m going to tell you a story. It’s a story about how, as I’ve become more and more at ease with who I am, I’ve found myself changing. It’s also a story about how, sometimes, we can let our fears build up to the point where they prevent us from living our lives in the way we want to.
Before I start, I need to fill you in on a little background. For three weeks this autumn, I was lucky enough to have my very good friend Liz K from California staying with me at my home in Norfolk. Before her arrival, the only ‘official’ time that I’d spent outside fully dressed was during a makeover in late July. Liz’s visit would be a chance for me to try and push things further. We had two makeovers planned, as well as multiple opportunities for me to get out and about in the real world as ‘full Ellie’. These included an evening at Pink Punters in Milton Keynes, two days in Leeds for a Leeds First Friday event and even a theatre trip to London.
Although all of these adventures were planned for September and October, I started mapping out the details much, much earlier than that. The long lead-in time gave me ample opportunity to reflect on how the events I was planning for my future self compared with how present-day Ellie was living her life.
Since I’m single and live alone, I’ve been able to dress full time at home for many years. And yet, for much of that time, if I’ve had to go outside (to put the bins out say, or walk up the back garden to add some vegetable peelings to the compost heap) I’d hastily pull some baggy track suit bottoms and a fleece over what I was wearing, before venturing out. I’d always been worried that I was going to get seen, and then people would begin to think the worst of me. That fear had built and then solidified over time.
However, after my makeover experience it was obvious that something had changed in my mindset. Increasingly, I found that I was no longer bothering to cover up what I was wearing when I went outside. Instead I’d find myself striding confidently down the front path in a skirt and blouse, dragging the bin behind me. I was no longer concerned about answering the door to an Amazon delivery driver while wearing glittery nail varnish and yoga pants. I decided that maybe, just maybe, it might be time to bite the bullet.
Perhaps, as daunting as it seemed, it was time to let the neighbours know.
Well, one neighbour at least. The couple to the left of me … okay, the less said about them the better. However, the lady on the right was a very different matter. I’d always got on well with her; I had a gut feeling that receiving the news that there was a crossdresser living next door might not entirely freak her out. Besides, her upstairs window overlooks my back garden. I was really tired of feeling that I had to constantly skulk and hide. The thought of confessing to her tied my stomach in knots, but at the same time … why shouldn’t I be able to walk around in my own back garden wearing whatever I wanted to? I agonised about it for a couple of days, but then I thought … get a grip, Ellie. Let’s do this.
Having talked myself into a decision, I sat down and spent almost two hours drafting a letter. I wanted to get the words exactly right. After all, I reasoned, I probably only had one shot at this. I discarded several attempts before I had something that I was happy with.
Now, all of this isn’t as brave as it seems, because I’ve left out one important detail. On the day that I planned to take that letter round, I was confident that my neighbour wouldn’t actually be at home. When I’d bumped into her the day before, she’d said that she was planning to take her dog to the beach. Here was my chance! I could sneak up her drive; I could put the envelope in her letter box without having to get involved with any personal interaction at all. Then I could run! There would be no need for any awkward conversations. No need for stomach-churning apprehension, or stammered explanations. The whole thing seemed ideal. I set off confidently, letter in hand.
As I approached my neighbour’s house, a dog started barking.
Hold on, that couldn’t be right. Wasn’t that dog supposed to be at the beach? It seemed that my neighbour’s plans had changed. Damn it.
I considered fleeing, but I hesitated just a little too long. Next moment, my neighbour was waving to me from an upstairs window and saying that she’d be right down. I was trapped. I stood there, clutching the envelope tightly, with no possibility of retreat. Oh God! My knees felt weak. What if, after all, I’d completely misjudged this?
As soon as she opened the door my neighbour did a bit of a double take, looking first at my worried expression, and then at the envelope that I was clutching in my increasingly sweaty hand.
‘Whatever’s the matter?’, she said.
I muttered something unconvincing about everything being okay, then held up the letter awkwardly. ‘Perhaps you should read this’, I said.
She studied my face carefully and pushed her glasses further up her nose. Then she opened the envelope, unfolded the letter and began to read.
‘Dear xxx
‘This letter is a bit difficult for me to write, but I feel that it’s important for me to share something significant about myself. I thought about telling you directly when I bumped into you yesterday but it didn’t seem like the right time.
‘I’ll come straight out with it – I’m transgender.’
Now, I’d obviously written a whole lot more than that, but I think that this was roughly the point at which she must have stopped. She took her glasses back off.
‘Thank you for bringing this round’ she said. ‘But I’m not going to read any more.’
She looked me straight in the eye. My heart was thumping.
‘You didn't have to do this’, she said.
She folded the letter carefully and put it back into the envelope. I have to be honest. I can’t remember exactly what she said next; it caught me somewhat off guard. As a result it’s a bit of a blur. But it was something along these lines:
‘No-one should ever have to explain or apologise for who they are.’
Although I can’t recall the exact words, I can remember the warm smile that accompanied them.
‘Just be who you are and let the rest of the world mind its own business.'
She paused, and thought for a moment, considering her words carefully. ‘I was once asked,’ she said, ‘what would make me happy. Well, I thought about that for a while. And you know what? The thing that would make me happiest is seeing everyone else happy.’
She gave me a hug and then handed my letter back to me.
'Be you,’ she said. ‘Be happy.'
I have to confess that I had a little cry when I got back indoors.
Sometimes, as I said earlier, we let our fears get the better of us. And sometimes, when we face them, we have the power to make them go away.
Ellie, this is such a wonderful story 🙂 Obviously, having stayed with you, I have a good picture of everything happening in my head - but that really allows the emotions to come to life through your words. I really hope this article inspires more girls here to come out and be themselves 🙂
Big hugs lovely,
Fluff xxx
Thanks Fluff 🙂
Speaking of inspiration, one of the catalysts for me coming out to my neighbour is that you'd done the same with yours!
Ellie x
So now we just need to find out who Rebecca's inspiration was ...
That was a beautiful account with a wonderfully heartwarming outcome. Well done! I hope you won't be offended if I say that, although I had been aware of and understood your caution, I had never expected you to be nervous about taking this step. To my mind you are, and always will be, a very strong and positive person ... a role model even 😀 . I am really happy for you; it must be an instant relief to no longer have this as an issue on your mind. Now the world is your oyster.
I have for many years actually been quite happy to present crossdressed when away from home among people who did not know me, and never would. But after coming out to my wife and starting to go out crossdressed with her I had to take the steps between the front door and the car when neighbours might be around. I got away with it for quite a few weeks; I was only seen em-femme a few times when I was in female trousers and a somewhat androgynous top. I realised the best thing to do was talk with each of the neighbours. That did take a bit of courage, but I took inspiration from stories on CDH. There was one particular story (about last August I think) from a person who came out to their mother and sister and found that the sky did not fall in; I think that was the account which finally gave me the impetus to get on with it.
As they say, What goes around, comes around 😀 . Thank you, Ellie, for your friendship.
Hugs, Rebecca xxx
That did take a bit of courage, but I took inspiration from stories on CDH. There was one particular story (about last August I think) from a person who came out to their mother and sister and found that the sky did not fall in; I think that was the account which finally gave me the impetus to get on with it.
Okay, yes, okay ... that WAS me. But for some reason it took me more than a year to subsequently do the same thing with my neighbour, and that was a lot less scary.
Go figure 🙂
But hold on, what we're saying here is ... *takes out notebook and looks at the hastily scribbled timeline* ... um ... my accounts of coming out to my Mum and sister inspired you to talk to your neighbours ... which ... uh ... *glances back at the page* ... inspired Fluff to talk to her neighbours ... which inspired me to talk to mine?
That can't be right. On this evidence we're all inspiring each other 😮
Hugs
Ellie x
Yep, it's all a bit circular isn't it. Rather like Escher's ascending steps (we'll leave out the descending bit).
BUT - isn't that just the nature of CDH anyway 😍 😍 😍 which is one of the reasons I love it so much. It also touches on a germ of an idea for an article that has been growing in my mind these last couple of weeks; all I have to do now is get a tangle of thoughts in my head into some sort of order and apply fingers to keyboard ... but more of that another time 😏 .
Hugs, Rebecca x
Bravo Ellie!
Now you can take a deep breath of freedom.
I never heard the program that you mentioned. Being across the pond in the U.S. I do remember some of the BBC TV programs though.
It surly must be a great feeling to get the weight of fear off of your shoulders.
So proud of you my dear Sister across the sea!
XOXO Fran 🥰
Hi Fran
Yes ... I thought twice about using a 'Listen With Mother' reference to open the article, as I realised that members outside the UK wouldn't be familiar with it.
You must have had a similar childrens' programme on US radio in the 1960s. If so, what was it?
And yes, while coming out to my neighbour was a relatively small thing it also felt like a very important event for me.
Sort of 'One small step for Man, one giant leap for Transkind'.
Ellie x
Hi Ellie,
I don't recall any radio children's programs as a child. I guess i was a product of the boob tube. TV generation. Lol.
I always felt that the British programing was somewhat unique. Loved Monty Python and Benny Hill!
These small steps lead us to great discoveries. About ourselves and others. It's a whole new world!
Xx Fran 🥰
Thanks for telling us about this, Ellie, it's an inspired and inspiring piece of writing.
At it's core, of course, your message of facing our fears rings true for me and I'm sure, will for many others. I'm lucky to have shared in the Leeds part of your adventures and I have noticed a definite drop in my own anxiety regarding how I present myself on a daily basis now.
More jewellery and more obvious colours of varnish on my fingernails (currently a nice copper shade I've "borrowed" from my wife). But still in more or less male mode. And all because I, too, am becoming "more and more at ease".
I applaud you for taking the steps you have and say to others who may be thinking "what if?", Feel the fear and do it anyway! Taking ownership of our choices is it's own reward 😊.
Allie x
I'm more along the lines of 'Feel the fear and do it anyway ... as long as you've thought it through very carefully in advance and have a definite back up plan for if things go wrong'.
Seriously though, if I hadn't approached my neighbour I would never have known how accepting she would turn out to be. Now I do, it's wonderful. I've spent a LOT of time in the back garden in a dress since I showed her that letter!
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Another great example of the things we worry about usually never happen. Well written Ellie.
Thanks Grace.
I really worried about doing this a LOT before I actually did it.
Now it's all out in the open it's tremendously liberating.
@ellyd22 what an uplifting story hope to have the courage to one day come out to my neighbours as a cross dresser.
Partly courage, partly the fact that I just got fed up trying to scurry around without being seen!
I KNOW it's my own garden.
I KNOW that I should be able to do whatever I want there (within reason).
Even so, also knowing that I can wander around out there now and it isn't going to upset or offend anyone is rather nice.
Ellie x
Thanks Anna 🙂
It might seem like quite a small thing, but it's already made quite a big difference for me.
I've always pictured myself wandering around in my garden in a summer dress and gardening smock, being all 'cottage core' and stuff.
Now I can live the dream.
@ellyd22 I have pictured this a few times, but being pretty big before I put a pair of heels on would stop me from ever blending near home. We have thought about moving somewhere more isolated.
Have done so the odd bit of pottering round in my friend's garden and her village, a fair distance from home.
Hugs,
Anna x
@ellyd22 My fears aren't the issue with me and my wife.
My wife's fears still take precedence. She still isn't happy about my dressing or with what she calls "grooming" (getting rid of my hair).
Hi Ellie,
I remember 'Listen With Mother' very well... well, reasonably well anyway. I came on the radio just before 'Women's Hour'. The 'Are you sitting comfortably' phrase began as an ad lib by the reader, Julie Lang. I quite often used the phrase myself.
It sounds like you have a wonderful neighbour there.
Lynne
'Listen with Mother' is very much a part of my early years ... along with Andy Pandy, The Magic Roundabout, The Herbs, Bill and Ben, Camberwick Green, Jackanory and all the rest 🙂
I didn't know that about the ad lib!
Ellie x
What about the Woodentops? Apparently my brother and I were dressed as Woodentops by our mother when we were less than 5 years old, for some fancy dress event I believe.
Rebecca x
I can't remember much about the Woodentops other than:
a). Buttercup the Cow, and
b). Spotty Dog.
The phrase 'the very biggest spotty dog you ever did see' has stuck in my head for some reason.
Clearly, even as a child I preferred animals to people.
My oldest sister (five years older than me) always mentions Torchy the Battery Boy and The Adventures of Twizzle. I have no clear memory at all of either of those, other than the theme song for Torchy. I don't know why ... it wasn't very good.
Ellie x
Thanks Sarah 🙂
As an act of bravery it doesn't rank as highly as delivering lectures en femme, but still.
By the way, I still think that was totally awesome.
Hugs
Ellie x
I don't know that it's very easy to compare acts of bravery, since it's so hard to compare emotions generally, but I think the people you have relationships with is harder than people in a class you probably won't see again. All the same, I am happy for you.
@ellyd22 Ellie, so glad that went so well for you. I think for many of us our worst fears are ONLY fears and unlikely to happen.
For me I am out and about as Cassie in my small town. I don't know if everyone knows of my CD status, but I have never to this point been negatively confronted. I even mow the lawn as Cassie.
I hope you are able to find the balance to be yourself and be out in the world as you need IN FULL RELAXED MODE.
Cassie
'Balance' is exactly the right word for me at the moment, and is really what I'm seeking going forward.
The ability to be constantly in full relaxed mode wouldn't be unwelcome either 🙂
@ellyd22 Ellie , that is so amazing and brave of you. It took a lot of courage to do this in my opinion. I’ve done the same as you while having to go out to the back yard and covering up. Now I’m much better and venture out in what I’m wearing without any stress. I’ve cut my lawn while wearing yoga pants or some shorts and pantyhose underneath a few times now. Took some photos while dressed in broad daylight and I figured if the neighbors have a problem with this side of me then so be it. This is who I am and I’m not moving anytime soon so I guess they will have to get use to it.
I figure I can either spend my life in the shadows because of what a few people might think, or I can just say 'to hell with this' and just be me.
The older I get, the more attractive the second option becomes!
Ellie x
You're right ... *takes out thick black marker pen* ... I'm just going to eliminate 'Option 1' from the ballot paper.
@ellyd22 That’s so lovely, so encouraging and so true. I come out to a lot of family members, friends and colleagues over the years. Most were just like your experience with your neighbor. Almost all said variations on “you be you!”
I’m so glad you're beginning to live the life you want!
I’m so glad you're beginning to live the life you want.
Well, I've made a start at least.
So far, so good. Initial results are encouraging 🙂
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Shows there are truly understanding people out there, not all those who scorn us. GO GIRL.👩❤️👩👩❤️👩
Yup ... there are some really lovely people in the world.
I suspect that they're more common than we think 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
You would probably be surprised at those people we encounter either know or are CD's themselves! 🥰
@ellyd22 So happy for you Ellie! That was such a wonderful and affirming experience. I give you so much credit for facing the unknown with such grace. I hope she becomes a great ally for you.
I hope she becomes a great ally for you.
Thanks Lauren. I have a feeling that she will be 🙂
Ellie x
@ellyd22 every story you write puts a huge smile on my face. Have you ever considered writing a book of memories? Im a writer i can recognize quality.
Its amazing that when you finaly reach the amount of courage needed for this huge step you recieve this kind of awesome support. I love it. You be you, and you be awesome! ❤️
Thanks Cynthia. I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction from my neighbour ❤️
Ellie x
PS I don't have any books of memories planned, but I currently write (and paint) for a living!
I was just going to say 'books' and leave it at that, but I'll go as far as 'young adult fiction'.
I've also written and illustrated non-fiction, principally science/natural history 🙂
@ellyd22 cool, you dont have to go into specifics, i geuss we are colleges because i write pretty much te same!
Hi Ellie,
As someone who has neighbours in mainly in their eighties and nineties with a certain attitude to life and lives in a flat so covers up in a long housecoat to get the mail your story resonates with me. I have been out dressed away from home but cannot get out my front door dressed!
Thank you so much for this, you are an inspiration to us all.
Janet x
I’ve only just managed to read this, and I love it.
It’s another successful milestone in the Ellie Davis story, which I’m really privileged to have been able to share as it’s progressed.
I had to smile when I read the bit about putting a baggy fleece and tracksuit bottoms over the top of what you’re wearing when collecting the bin. That’s me on a Friday morning, although I’m finding I don’t bother with such a baggy fleece these days and I can’t be bothered to remove the breast forms any more.
It’s probably just as well that I walk fast 🤣
I have a feeling that the 'fleece n' bottoms' look is quite a common one 🙂
By the sounds of it you'll soon be graduating to a body-hugging fleece while on bin duty.
It won't be long before it's a fleecy cat suit.
It's a slippery slope.
@ellyd22 beautiful experience, and well-written.
I loved the phrase ‘Just be who you are and let the rest of the world mind its own business.'
Thank you for helping set us free a bit more.
So happy for you to live next to a person with such a kind and generous spirit. I am so glad to hear that you had that experience. Thank you for sharing some of yourself with us in your writing. A privilege to be able to see a glimpse of you.
@ellyd22 This was such an enjoyable read and through reading it I felt a loving warm feeling down in my soul. My heart goes out to you Ellie for your determination and courage. I sense a warm, loving and considerate nature about you from reading your posts here on CDH. You are a beautiful spirited lady Ellie and it shines through in your outward appearance. I think we have such a fear built up in us from hiding ourselves from being seen over the years, that it is instilled in us. Then I think it is this fear in us Ellie that keeps us procrastinating or finding excuses rather then facing and/or pursuing our true calling in this life. Something embedded deep inside of us that a lot of us fight against throughout our lives that never goes away. Then we finally do venture forward against our fears only to find that the majority of our fears are unwarranted. Then we start to feel the freedom and find a love for ourselves that we never felt or could have ever imagined. I am happy for you Ellie. Bless your heart honey. Love, Janice.
This saying I find lifting "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself"
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. The joy and moral stimulation. Franklin D. Roosevelt
@ellyd22 this is an amazing insight into life and realising that on the whole everyone is fine with each other and really value how someone can confide in them! I have realised how touched I feel when someone now shares a bit of information they trust with me. She is a brilliant woman to have on your side, and I hope you can feel so happy you will potentially have one or two interesting conversation over time as well.
The only reason I believe coming out to certain people is a good thing is to have their friendship there to share this with and find confidence to express better.
Love to you Ellie!
Thanks Sarah 🙂
I tend to bump into her most often when she's out walking the dog.
The conversations we have then are perfectly normal - it's clear that showing her the letter genuinely hasn't made any difference to our relationship ❤️
Ellie x
She sounds great. Has she seen you in the garden dressed as you like do you think?
I think she must have seen me out and about even before I told her ... but she hasn't said.
You've got me wondering now!
Next time I see her, I'll ask her 🙂
Ellie x
Ellie. Reading this was an amazing way to start my day off. I even got a little teary eyed as I read this. Your neighbor sounds like a very kind soul.
Hope you have an awesome weekend. Stay pretty.
Thank you for this.
Ellie, your story is as beautiful as you are. The photos of you and Liz show such happiness. I cried reading this, not for myself, but more like an athlete victory of pure accomplishment. Such a big hug from across the pond dear, 
Kathi
Thank you so much Kathi.
As it turned out, when Liz visited it rained a lot and there was no opportunity for us to be out in the back garden anyway 🙁
I've been making up for it since though. There's been a few weeks of continuous dry weather here in Norfolk, and I've been out pottering round the borders most days in what I now called my pruning dress.
Hugs back
Ellie x
Well done Ellie! Another step along the way. I love your neighbor and don't even know her. I too have a neighbor who can more or less see into my backyard garden and deck area and years ago decided to stop worrying about her seeing me. My house, my property, my choice to dress as I want.
Robyn
@robyn1408 And Robyn, the last sentence of your post that you didn’t write is: And if you don’t like it, don’t look😊.
GP
My house, my property, my choice to dress as I want.
There was an element of that in my decision, and of course had my neighbour turned out to be transphobic it wouldn't have stopped me dressing while in the garden!
At the same time I wanted to be honest with her and true to myself. Plus, it's important to me to know that if she does see me out there (and she will, since I spend a lot of time pottering around the shrubberies) I'll get a smile and a friendly wave rather than an angry comment and a hostile stare 🙂
Oh Ellie, What a grand neighbor you have! It would be so wonderful if everyone had someone like that living next to them too. Yes, just keep being you and being happy and living life. Big hugs, Marg
She's great, Marg 🙂
I wish I could say the same for the people on the other side, but you can't have everything in life.
Hugs as always
Ellie x
I have a similar neighbour. I can't really go into it without succumbing to the red mist of rage. They say what goes around, comes around...I'm still waiting on that and I'm not getting any younger.
However, life is too short, so... 
(through clenched teeth)
I can't really go into it without succumbing to the red mist of rage.
Always remember that I have a certain level of expertise with explosives
*Nods, winks, taps nose*
Just saying.
@ellyd22 I'm truly so very happy for you - for what you're doing, for what you're learning, and for who you're becoming. All of it fills me with joy!
I'm also glad you told this story. It's true - our narrative brains want to protect us, but will write stories that are simply untrue or at least incredibly far fetched. We spend untold hours worrying and stressing over the fears, and spend almost no time thinking about the positive possibilities.
The vast majority of girls here that share their stories tell a very similar one, "I spent years dreading this only to find out none of it came true. I wish I'd done this earlier!" Yes, be mindful, think things through, but 'fear is the mind killer' - do not be penned in by fear. To quote Jason Isbell, "Be afraid, be very afraid....but do it anyway."
I'm glad you had the courage to act, and I'm LOVING your neighbour! We simply must have her by for tea when I come visit! 🙂
We simply must have her by for tea when I come visit!
Just let me know the dates and I'll arrange it.
Ellie
What a wonderful experience you had with your neighbour, but what you did took a lot of courage for you to do, and I am really pleased that she accepted you for who you truly are.
We walk a very fine line with who we open up to and share our biggest secret with as we don’t know how they are going to react to what you are saying to them.
Keep up the great work you do here on CDH and enjoy being you.
Samantha xxx
What a wonderful experience you had with your neighbour, but what you did took a lot of courage for you to do.
Thank you.
I absolutely tie myself up in knots over these things, to a gut-wrenching degree. I was exactly the same when revealing all to first my Mum and then my sister.
It's scary as hell, but thankfully there's been a happy outcome on each occasion.
Hugs
Ellie x
What a truly lovely story, thanks for writing it and enjoy your freedom to roam the garden and meet up with your neighbour who has a very understanding and caring nature. Best wishes.
I wish my front garden was a bit more secluded.
However, that's something I'm working on through judicious placement of trees and large shrubs, with the end goal of being pretty invisible most of the time when I'm out there!
A beautiful account, beautifully written by a beautiful woman. You've come so far in such a short time, Ellie. I'm proud to count you as a friend.
Jacqui
xxx
Not as proud as I am to have YOU as MY friend #I'mprouderandyesitisacompetition 🙂
I'm looking forward to saying that to your face in a few weeks' time!
Big hugs
Ellie x
It'll be wicked!
#JustAsLongAsTheCompetitionDoesNotInvolveRunningWeShouldBeOK
Much hugs
Jacqui
x
I lose count after the first four.
#ThereWillBeDancingOrAsIPreferToCallItJigglingAboutEnthusiastically
Jacqui x
I remember Listen with Mother way back in the sixties, when men were men and crossdressers were firmly in the closet.
Oh how times have changed. I went through all of the same emotions when trying to figure how to tell neighbours as I was going out by scuttling to the car and dashing away. the drive bys when returning to make sure no one was around.
The first neighbour to know was by accident, me dressed awaiting a friend, doorbell goes and is answered, no friend neighbour! She came in with some bits for me and all went well which led to more. The key was that they knew me well as I knew them. I told others and some just figured but I live in peace. New neighbours so far have also been fine.
I look at it that there are friends and allies who stop and chat, have no issues chatting to their children so others are respectful.
It is a big deal but if you know your neighbours well and they like you then your experience Ellie is replicated everywhere, it is you the person not the way you look.
That’s so lovely to read. My own friends behaved similarly when I ‘came out’ a couple of weekends ago.
Joanna -xx-
That's wonderful Joanna!
If someone's a true friend, of course, it shouldn't matter to them in the least whether you're wearing trousers or a skirt, high heels or Hush Puppies ❤️
Ellie x
Every person that learns the secret takes the power away from the secret. Soon, so many will know that the secret has no power at all, and you'll realise that it actually had nom real power. It was only your head making you think it did.
When I decided that I wasn't going to hide away anymore, of the people that didn't already know, my neighbours were going to be first. The plan was I was just going to let them see me either going to the car or walking the dog, something like that.... It didn't quite go to plan, but it was fine. I was all dressed up in Cerys mode. I had done my hair and make up. My wife and I were sat having a cup of tea on a Saturday morning and a knock came to the door. It was my neighbour to the left. I saw her through the window. I said to my wife "That's *****. I'll go.". I opened the door wide, no hiding behind it. She saw me and said "Oh you look nice. Are you going somewhere?". I explained that I was a crossdresser, and that I like to dress and present as female. I also said that I had no plans to transisition, and that she would see me in both modes as the mood takes me. She was perfectly fine with it. Now we chat regularly with me in Cerys Mode.
I thought the other side might be a little hesitant. They are a strict Muslim family. I thought this might cause a problem. It didn't. They were fine. I was worried about the girl's father. He's in his 80's. He's a regular visitor, and does a lot of work on his daughter's house. One day I was about to head out. In Full Cerys mode... as I waqs about to leave I saw that the father was in the front of the house. I decided to wait. He was my biggest worry. A lovely chap, but old, and again, a very strict muslim.... He stopped working, kicked a milk crate towards the wall, and sat on it, rolled a cigarette, and started to read his paper.... SHT!!!! It's now or never. I went out. I was wearing a very short skirt, but looked smart. As I walked out, I looked over to him and said "Morning".. He said morning back and we started to chat. After 10 minutes, I asked if he had any questions about how I was dressed. He answer warmed my heart. It's a happy memory that I will take to my grave. In his broad sub continent Cardiff accent he said " I couldn't give a sht mate. How you dress is nothing to do with me. You're a decent guy, and that's alright by me!"
Neighbours are brill. All my neighbours have now met, or at least seen Cerys. The weight lifted is huge. The secret is no longer a secret. It has no power at all.
Cerys
Cerys ... you should definitely work this up into an article for publication on the site.
It's entertaining and well-written ... and it delivers a really powerful message.
It deserves to be seen more widely.
That took a LOT of courage. Im very impressed. When I told our neighbours I was already walking around outside a lot in skirts etc so no one was really suprised. The first time I fully dressed and confronted a neighbour over the road was a day Ill never forget. I had just got back from the shops and was having a drink in our front garden. I saw her in her front garden so walked over in a lovely blue pleated skirt, jacket and heels and said in my best femme voice - Hi Sharon. She looked at me and said Do I know you? and I told her who I was and she was just amazing. The warmth and joy in her face when she realised reminded me of what your neighbours reaction was. It is an amazing feeling to be accepted.
I loved your story, absolutely amazing and I believe you had a great time with Liz.
Live the life you want not what others want for you. xxxxxThe other Ellie
Hey Other Ellie
It might have taken a lot of courage, but think about it. I went and told my neighbour BEFORE having the nerve to regularly walk around the back garden dressed, since a big part of me was worried about being judged.
You did it the other way around. I think that's even MORE courageous.
I'm currently raising a cup of coffee in your honour.
Hugs
The other other Ellie xxx
@ellie52 That's a great story Ellie. I find it interesting how a good percentage of women are either accepting or tolerant of crossdressers to some degree. Much more so than men. I'm always comfortable interacting with GG women when out and many of them seem to be comfortable interacting with me. When discussing my being a trans woman with them, I often get asked "are you happy?" and many seem pleased when I reply that yes, I am happy.
It sometimes feels like they are happy to welcome me into the sorority of women, albeit as a junior member, sort of as a little sister.
Thank you for an inspirational well written sharing your experience with your neighbor as you mentioned “ you can now wander around out there and it isn't going to upset or offend anyone is rather nice”. Ellie, be your true beautiful self ..
xoxo Leonara
Thanks Leonara
I'm looking forward to next spring and summer. I'm going to be out there a LOT 🙂
Ellie x