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I have to admit, I’ve been going full speed ahead with my research into how best to take care of my relationship, how best to show my love and affection for my guy and how to ensure we are both getting our needs met.
I’ve been reading articles on here for inspiration and information (many thanks to all you ladies) and looking at the adverts, which are giving me some really fun gift ideas for the future. I’m also in the middle of reading a book called “My Husband Wears My Clothes” by Peggy J Rudd, and I am really enjoying it.
I was in a quandary regarding names, but I wasn’t sure how to bring the subject up because I’m really bad at being subtle; I feel like it all came out seeming rather weird because of my nervousness. I seem to recall that we were getting ready to go somewhere, or maybe we were making breakfast, but it just kinda came out and I asked, “Am I supposed to be calling you another name when you are dressed up?”
I could tell it was a bit of a shock, coming out of the blue like this, but he recovered quickly and it started a wonderful conversation.
It turns out he had picked a name that was close to his own boy's name, but he felt it was not really what it ought to be, it just didn't feel right; he wasn’t even entirely sure a name was necessary. He talked about how he’d read a lot about it, but wasn’t sure if he, all dressed up, was a whole other person, or if it was just him dressed up.
He knew the logic of why guys choose a feminine name and it interested him, but I felt like it was a big step that he wasn’t quite ready to make, because until I came along, 'she' was completely hidden and scared. With lots and lots of love and encouragement, she (the gender we'll now use) now wears more feminine clothes out and about and she is so confident and happy, it brings such warmth to my heart.
We started talking names. I got my internet up we started looking at lists of baby names. We would both throw them out in turn and say them a couple of times to get a feel for them. Although she didn’t fully land on one, I think the seed is planted and she will be trying some of them soon.
Now I guess I wanted to ask anyone else who stumbles upon this post: Is a name necessary? How did you pick yours? Did you ever struggle with picking a name or did you think it unnecessary? Is there a certain meaning behind your choice?
As William Shakespeare wrote, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
My feminine name is no more than a psedonym, - a nomme de guerrre so to speak. My given name is who I am. I am the same person - the clothes that I am wearing do not make me the a different person. However, I do understand both intellectually and emotionally that my views are not the norm for most of use. And I do ackowledge that a name is a crucial part of anyone's self image.
Well, the selection of MacKenzie was originally an impulsive decision. I made the selection off the cuff without much thought when I registered on the site, six years ago. However, as I have grown in understand my own feelings and views, I realize now it was a good decision. It remains no more than a puesdonym, but it is part of who I am. Most importantly, it has given me an outlet to express my feelings and views in a secure manner.
MacKenzie Alexandra
@clarafrye I think it's a great topic!
Is a name necessary?
- Nope. I know someone who goes out and looks *amazing* but uses he/him and goes by Kevin. For myself, I had a female name for my online self, so when I started going out it just transferred. I think most people do because it feels more fitting and also may put others a bit more at ease ("Girl face, girl name - makes sense."), but it's definitely optional.
How did you pick yours?
- I knew a cis woman named Melodee (also with the 2 E's, not a Y), though I didn't really choose it to honor her. I felt it was feminine and, like my male name, quite uncommon. In my local groups when someone mentions Melodee, they know it's me because I'm the only one. lol
Did you ever struggle with picking a name or did you think it unnecessary?
- I had a different name before, and honestly I don't even recall how I arrived at that one, but at some point I felt it was....stodgy? So I just picked a new one.
Is there a certain meaning behind your choice?
- Meaning? No, as noted above it's just uncommon and it is nicely in many song lyrics, which I like - but that was never the intent.
In my view, a female name is not absolutely necessary. I decided to go with one, and since I live alone now, I felt that I wanted one. Hours of thinking, discounting, thinking again and discounting again, I ended up with a feminine version of my given name. It's only used in my CD forums, messages, and in my head while I am dressed.
I chose a female name originally just to try it on. I chose the name Nikki because the couple of Nikki's I've known in my life we're kind, feminine, and playful with unique style, and those qualities resonate with me. I've never had a different female name. I like when people call me Nikki, and there are people who know me only by that name. People who have been a part of my life throughout my journey still call me by my given name, and that's fine; it's a unisex name that works in any context and asking them to start calling me something else now feels stilted and artificial. For my wife and close friends, Nikki is mostly just shorthand for this aspect of me. For example, my wife might say "should we take Nikki for a drink tonight" or "I found this lovely top for Nikki" and her friend had said stuff like "omigod, does Nikki love Chappell Roan as much as I do?" (She does!). I am very comfortable with Nikki as well as my given name, and if we're out and I get introduced as Nikki it's a huge lift. Using Nikki interchangeably like this works for me, I like it, but my given name works too. And for the record, I'm just as laissez-faire about my pronouns; I like it most when people use the pronouns that align with my presentation, but since they all work for me, it's all good AND nobody can get my goat by misgendering me!
Clara,
Great topic. I like topics that allow me to give a clear answer. 😊. Usually there are a lot of nuances. The short answer is that my Mother named me.
When I first started dressing fully, I chose a feminine name that I liked. Sabrina and gave myself a nickname that I used Breena. This was in my mid 30s.
My mother used to tell me all the time when I was younger that she felt throughout her pregnancy that I was a girl. She says it was a gentleness she felt about me. I always hated it when she'd say that especially in front of people, lol.
Anyway, she mentioned it at the time in my life where I was actively dressing. (she didn't know). So I asked her, "had you picked out a name for me?" She replied instantly "Yes, Patricia".
I've gone by Patricia ever since and nicknames I've given myself "Trish" and "Patches". (I've notice that most any woman named Patricia goes by a nickname also.) Feels right and natural.
I react to the name Patricia whenever I hear it in public or on TV the same as my guy name.
Thank you for bringing up the topic. 😊
Hi girls,
I am another one of the Laurens on here, and I didn't get to pick my feminine name, my mother gave it to me! Many of you are familiar with my story, I knew when I was only three that I was supposed to be a girl. Last year I found out that I was born as an intersex person and there must have been some uncertainty about my anatomy, the doctor decided to assign me as a baby boy but my mother evidently felt differently and named me Lauren.
I am Anna for a simple reason. I discovered my Anna side in the 1980s when I was 14 and chose the name then and kept it hidden to all but myself until last year. There were a couple of ladies on TV that I really admired and Anna is a midway point between the two names. The surname - due to my favoured hair colour.
Oh my goodness! I didn’t expect such an outpouring of comments and responses! Thank you all so much for sharing with me! Please keep em coming!
I have in the past used the name Amanda - it appealed to my sense of humour and seemed more honest - I always thing of saying it as "I'm a man, der.... " as I'm not that convincing when I'm in my femmes - its a bit obvious
My feminine persona is the product of my imagination. My feminine name is the product of imagination also, although not my own. When my son - now 39 years old - was a child he had an imaginary friend. He would speak of this friend often, and I had no reason to believe he was not real. The name of this friend - you guessed it - Chris Burton. When I began to CD actively it took very little time for me to develop a full alter ego, and the name - feminized with the "Kris" spelling came right along with it. It seemed quite natural!
So, I never struggled for a different name. It was always the name of my feminine self from the very earliest days, and always will be. It has meaning to me as it is kind of the embodiment of my sons imaginary friend. It's great cover as it is nothing even close to my real name. When I look in the mirror or a photo and see myself fully en femme I see Kris. My fully supportive wife also refers to Kris almost as a separate person. My son who is the originator of the name is unaware of my CDing, but if he ever becomes aware I'm sure he would be quite amused.
I was a closeted crossdresser for much of my life and at some point started calling myself "Dianne Black" on CDH. When I started dressing fully and going out in public for the first time three years later I felt that Dianne represented the old me and, as I was embarking on a new phase of my life living as a woman, I wanted a new name to represent the new me. I had seen an actress on a British TV mystery program whose name was Fiona and immediately fell in love with it. So I changed my name here at CDH 28 months ago and kept the last name Black which I chose when a black cat of mine walked by as I was trying to decide on a name to sign up on CDH originally.
I think a feminine name is an important way to help express the femininity many crossdressers and transgender woman feel inside.
Back when I first thought about names ... this being all of about year ago, now! ... I was going to be Janice, after the only 6' tall lady I ever met. There are similarities to my male name. That moved to become my middle name when I remembered Fiona, which I'd always liked, but what really sealed it was the anagram involving my male name.
Hi Clara
My name came about from my wife - she is an amazing woman and has brightened my life with her acceptance of Ellie. So how did we come to Ellie? Originally - when i was dressed one day she called me Grizelda and I nearly choked and said what did you call me? She laiughed and said I looked like a Grizelda. I said what the hell does a Grizelda look like?
Anyway I digress. So then, she said how about Eloise which I liked and we sort of agreed on Eloise - then she said you look Ellie Gent Eloise playing on the word Elegant which I really liked then she burst out laughing and said, actually more like Elliephant in that dress. We both broke down in fits of laughter and Ellie was born. That was over ten years ago and we still have fun with the names.
Are they important - not really, they create a seperate entity between being a Him and a Her but my wife and our friends will still call me Stu or Ellie whether Im dressed. or not I dont mind either name to be honest.
On CDH I added Dee to my name as I thought it would be fun to be called LED
When it comes down to it, Its just a name.
First thank you for the question and secondly thank you to the ladies for sharing their stories on how they chose their name.
I chose Suzanne for 2 reasons. The first was that it sounds similar to my male name if abbreviated to Sue and secondly because fo the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue". When the song first came out I related to it, even though I wasn't dressing then (guess the feelings weren't as deep as I thought).
One of the reasons I chose a name was for anonymity. It is much easier to speak honestly and openly when being able to do so anonymously. That may sound strange but there is much I talk about here that I could never do as my drab self. The exception to that is my therapist who knows both my drab self and Suzanne, in fact she has met Suzanne. She will call me Suzanne depending on what we are talking about or how I present for my sessions.
Using Suzanne also makes communication with my wife easier. At home she will sometimes ask me to invite Suzanne over. When we are shopping she will ask if Suzanne would like something I've shown her or that she has found. It is a way for us to openly discuss my dressing without anyone else knowing what we are talking about.
XOXO
Suzanne