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Hello Rachel.
To answer your question, I think I always knew there were feminine feeling within me. When I was about 6 or 7 I remember I wanted to wear pretty dresses like my cousins Easter dresses. I think I expressed this to the adults too.
When puberty came I just knew I was bisexual admiring both girls and boys but like many others I over compensated trying to convince my wondering adults that I was a real man. I did all the masculine things a guy does all the while wishing I could wear pretty feminine things and be a girl.
You are so lucky to have a supporting partner... good for you girl!
I've pretty much always known that something was not right. My Mom & Dad both ex-military 3 older brothers and no sisters. It was awash with the Big T all of my life. So much so that I lived in denial my whole life. Always thinking that i was male but in my deepest heart wanting to be a girl. Living out a lie, being who others saw me as. From time to time, i would get to but some underclothes wear them for a day or night then toss them in the trash. Always hiding my deepest and most private secret. It was such a secret thing for me. I couldn't even imagine how embarrassed I would be if I got discovered. Repressing my urges all those many years.
I retired in 2018. Reacting on impulse one day. I ordered some panties, while on line. Once I pulled them on, I was hooked and couldn't seem to stop. It was like the small crack in the dam that quickly opened up to allow a truck thru it. I was driven to dress; I couldn't seem to stop it. When i couldn't dress I would spend the time shopping for clothes.
I truly regret having spent all of those years hiding my feelings and embarrassment. I should have found a way to let myself out.
The good news is that I now have a wonderful wardrobe and I'm using it. I guess better late than never.
