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If you are like me, a lifetime crossdresser and transgender male to female, you have asked yourself this question MANY times. Who am I really? Am I happier as a guy or as a girl? If the answer to the question is ‘a girl’, “when did this start?” For me that happened in my early twenties. It has taken me forty years to accept that “yes, I am born biological male but prefer to present as female.” I am most comfortable in my female persona. When I am out in public at the store or wherever, I am always looking intently at other women my age and younger to see how they present themselves. Our task, ladies, is to blend in wherever and whenever, even when you only have 20 minutes to put on ALL your makeup and outfit and of course, press-on nails. The outfit is not complete without press-on nails that match your toes!
The intent for this article is to encourage you to embrace your womanhood. God does not make mistakes. He made us both perfect male and female. We are blessed to experience both dimensions. Yes, I say dimensions; you could say realms. It truly is a different realm at least for me to be in the female realm. It is a realm of beauty, compassion, feelings, meaningful conversations, shopping, affirmation, time alone to reflect and time to be out in public to experience presenting as a woman. Present with confidence. Love yourself. Be confident in who you are. You have taken the courage to explore this facet of your “being,” and like me, have spent countless hours trying to figure out skin routines, putting on makeup, wigs, shoes, and clothing, etc. I realize now that the most important aspect of my personality that can help me as a woman is confidence.
Yes, I am big, I am almost 6 feet and athletic build and around 235 lbs. I try to stay in shape, and I can even wear a sleeveless top with confidence. Just the other night, I was feeling rather feminine, so I took a shower, a close shave and dressed in my favorite black skort and sleeveless tank top and toe sandals and went to Walmart on a Friday night around 930 PM. I made sure my hoop earrings were not too over the top and that I could blend in.
So, I took “Little Red.” That is my wife’s car, a 2018 Ford Fusion, with an English Springer Spaniel license plate on the front so it is very conspicuous. This store is about 8 minutes from my house so I felt I should be safe and hopefully not run into anyone from my church. Yes, that is my conundrum. How do I continue to be a Catholic yet embrace this “alter-identity?” Wait, this is not an alter identity; this is ME!! Anyway, I just had a few items to pick up, so I strolled slowly down the aisle with my cart. The key is to walk even slower, especially when you have a larger frame.
I knew I was different in puberty but back in the 70s, the internet did not have the information and resources available to us. It is like we were in the dark and too embarrassed to talk about it. There were a few sites back then for crossdressers but nothing like Crossdresser Heaven (CDH). I know I was scared, confused as an early adult to understand that “these feelings of the ‘need’ to cross dress’” did not dissipate during my college years.
In retrospect, college was a very confusing time in my life. I knew I was not gay; however, I knew I was different. I could blend in with the guys. I was in a fraternity in college and had a few girlfriends, but still knew, “why does my life have to be so complicated with these weird feelings?” During breaks at home, I would always make time to dress as I had my “stash!”.
It is inescapable. To delve into both the male and female realm (and roles) is daunting. It is both a blessing and a curse. Lately, I am treating it more as a blessing, to discover my “true woman within.”
Since coming out to my wife again during Covid, she was very accepting and understanding, despite all her struggles and battles with chronic health conditions. She is my rock even though I am the primary caregiver. Each day, God gives me the strength to praise Him for her progress and the joy that we have together with our 10-month-old puppy Opie. All our kids are grown, and we are first-time grandparents so there is a lot to be thankful for.
Life is so busy but when I take time to write it brings me peace. Some people have music, I have my writing and most importantly, my reflection time, alone as Miss Hope. I am MOST happy when I look in the mirror when I am presenting. It can be early in the morning when I am still in my girl PJs and don my wig, lipstick, just a tinge of blush and venture onto the patio with my puppy Opie. I will have my coffee and listen to my Pandora Music on the Lauren Dagle Station. I love that girl. Her voice is so pure and angelic, along with Adele, two of my favorite female artists right now. I am also into listening to Lady Gaga. She is also butter, a bit out there but aren’t we all?
Everyone has something major to overcome. I know for me, contemplating 24/7 about transition and my bucket list for my female self is more exciting than my male bucket list. I think my most awesome female fantasy is taking off for a week, flying international to London en femme and staying for a week, as a female. There are boutiques that cater to us girls and can arrange a whole weekend around your experience.
I have never had a glamour shot but long for one…I battle skin issues daily and putting on makeup does not agree with my skin. My skin is very sensitive, just like me inside….OMG, I am sooooo girl….. I wish all the fathers out there (who are also ladies) a Happy Father’s Day as we are blessed to have wonderful spouses and children and extended family to feel blessed about.
It is my hope that each of us ladies can be comfortable in our own skin and to do so, first starts with accepting yourself for who you are. The Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways, and I am a firm believer that God does NOT make mistakes. As I have said before he “allows” us to explore our feminine side. This exploration phase takes on a whole other dimension when you realize that you are really a transgender MTF. Transgender people are about 5% of the population but it is growing, and boundaries are always expanding, so we are more accepted now.
Since this is Pride Month, I felt compelled to speak my “female piece (peace)”. This IS the real me. Have you ever looked at the obituaries when you read the paper and wonder what yours would say since you transitioned to a woman later in life like in your 60’s. To me it is both thrilling and scary. Am I hurting my loved ones by coming out as who I think is my “true self?”
Time is precious ladies, love your family, your neighbor, that stranger you encounter who needs help, and live each day to the fullest. It could be your last. Life is precious and short. Make every moment count. Most of all, continue to support those around you who have “put up with your ‘dilemma’” as my wife likes to categorize my situation. For me it is no dilemma. I am focused on how to achieve smooth skin a sexy curvy hairless body and experience life as a woman. Yes, I think about SRS. If you do, then it is a no-brainer honey!!
That is all for now girls but thanks for taking the time to read my article and I encourage you to think about the following three milestones:
- How old were you when you first thought that you are not a normal male, knew you were not gay but still something was off, and you LOVED to cross dress?
- As this phase transitioned into marriage and having a family, how did you cope and were you able to cope?
- When did you (or plan to) come out to your wife and family as a TG MTF?
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and the questions below it. If you have a few moments, I would love for you to either leave a comment or two in regards to my story or to answer one or more of the questions I've posed to you above!
Sincerely, Hope
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and happy you have found your place in life with a supportive wife. I'll try to answer your questions from my point of view.
1 - How old was I when I realized I was "not normal"?
Ans- 5yrs old... maybe even younger. I had a desire to cross dress in my cousins pretty dresses. At that age I had no concept of being "straight" or "gay" but by puberty I just knew I was bisexual and acted on it with disastrous results.
2 - Getting married and having a family.
Ans - I married for all the wrong reasons and became trapped... still there because of blackmail and abandonment issues. I never wanted kids and don't have any thank goodness.
3 - When did I plan on coming out?
Ans - I never planned on coming out to anyone until I grew old to the point I didn't care anymore what happened. Should have found this attitude 40 years ago.
If you have it, blind faith is great, but I believe God makes many, many, mistakes... the world is simply chaos... IMO... your mileage may vary.... have a nice day!
Wonderful posting Hope.
I wanted to answer your questions.
1 - I discovered at the early age of 8 that I was different. I want to be female, I felt female. Had for an 8 year old to know what he was experiencing, but years later it all starting to make sense to me. In my high school years a tended to hand with the girls and not so much with the guys. I wasn’t gay, just uncomfortable around them. To this day I still am. Since 8 I also had been checking out mom underwear and heels, I was fascinated by them. As I grew up and tested them out and found out later they had a wonderful side effect beside feeling feminine! But I enjoyed girls and never revealed my secrets to them, but I enjoyed check out what they had on under. Strange I know.
2- Marriage now. For the past 42 years I have been married, and happily. Along with 2 daughters I might add. I seems I continued to be surrounded by women. But alas I hid myself away from the family. I haven’t told the wife anything yet and never the kids, I am on and off several time over the years and buy and purge and buy and purge. My last purge was one of what could have been a farewell of sorts as I had cancer and was under treatment. It was a total out, everything must go, clothing, shoes even digital traces went out. Did want anything trace of Lisa to be discovered.
3- am all better! Ta Da! So since my recovery I have began to buy once more. Plan to have the discussion my wife soon. How soon will see. I have a gay daughter which I might talk with this week since she home. Just don’t know how far I should go with her.
My problems has always been height! 6’ 2” in flats! Imagine me in even a pair of 2” pumps! Still to tall! I’m 250 and still losing weight, want to get to 230 or lower. So I have never been passable except in my mind.
I’m not transitioning, I’m a CD with a hint of maybe bi when I’m dressed. At times I just have the urge to do something, for now toys will suffice to curb that urge, but that’s only been in the past few years since my recovery.
Thanks for the chance to share this along with your article Hope.
Lisa Leigh
Hope, your article is wonderful! I can relate in so many ways. Thank you so much for sharing that with us!
Hugs,
Holly
Hope, your article is wonderful! I can relate in so many ways. Thank you so much for sharing that with us!
Hugs,
Holly
Hope, this is one of the best, most thoughtful articles I've read in a while!
As for me, I started young. I was a preschooler when I first tried on my older sisters' dance costumes and it grew from there. I instictively knew this is something I could share with NO ONE. I tolerated being a boy, but I just never really figured out how to do it well. I was as introverted as they come, and didn't feel right trying to socialize with girls either. I'm apparently a few years oldedr than you, since I started college in the early 70's. It wasn't until I was in my own place in the late 70's that I fully dressed including a wig and make-up. Even then, I just assumed I was "just" a CD, but if someone had pressed me back then, I probably would have admitted that I felt like a girl inside when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade.
When I got married, I purged just before that, I felt so in love and fully complete with my wife that I thought all that was just a childhood thing because I was lonely and not very sexually active. I don't know how much time went by before I was trying on her lingerie; maybe a year or two? After several years, she went back to OT school an hour and a half away and stayed on campus a lot. Then I fell back in head first. I hid it all from her, major purges when we moved a few times, then another major flood of femme about 7 years ago. Got so into it I scared myself that I wouldn't be able to keep things separate. Last year started back up and knew then that I was trans. I know now I was all along, but didn't understand it as I do now.
Last July I admitted to my wife that I was a CD and that I needed her to know (a month before our 40th anniversary - tip, DON"T DO THAT! giggles), and I felt like I needed to explore it more at home. Then after some heavy therapy and discussions with the wife, she asked me if I wanted to be a woman. I told her not necessarily having bottom surgery, but I thought I should start HRT to see if it would help. So, by October, we knew I was going to socially transition and see what that looked like. We physically separated in June and looks like we won't stay together as a "married couple. Not just because of this, but the end of trust just was a tipping point that led to our current status.
Brielle,
Thanks for sharing, I am sorry about your breakup. That had to be hard. My wife tells me “no transition during her lifetime!” But I want to go on HRT so bad. Oh well, I will take my daily doses of dressing at home and going out when I can!
I wish you success in your transition!
Hope
I understand. My wife initially said the same thing, then when I said HRT was necessary, she said there is room for only one vagina in our house. At the time, I said that wasn't a problem. But lately... ?
I understand. My wife initially said the same thing, then when I said HRT was necessary, she said there is room for only one vagina in our house. At the time, I said that wasn't a problem. But lately... ?
Brielle,
Thanks for sharing, I am sorry about your breakup. That had to be hard. My wife tells me “no transition during her lifetime!” But I want to go on HRT so bad. Oh well, I will take my daily doses of dressing at home and going out when I can!
I wish you success in your transition!
Hope
Hope, this is one of the best, most thoughtful articles I've read in a while!
As for me, I started young. I was a preschooler when I first tried on my older sisters' dance costumes and it grew from there. I instictively knew this is something I could share with NO ONE. I tolerated being a boy, but I just never really figured out how to do it well. I was as introverted as they come, and didn't feel right trying to socialize with girls either. I'm apparently a few years oldedr than you, since I started college in the early 70's. It wasn't until I was in my own place in the late 70's that I fully dressed including a wig and make-up. Even then, I just assumed I was "just" a CD, but if someone had pressed me back then, I probably would have admitted that I felt like a girl inside when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade.
When I got married, I purged just before that, I felt so in love and fully complete with my wife that I thought all that was just a childhood thing because I was lonely and not very sexually active. I don't know how much time went by before I was trying on her lingerie; maybe a year or two? After several years, she went back to OT school an hour and a half away and stayed on campus a lot. Then I fell back in head first. I hid it all from her, major purges when we moved a few times, then another major flood of femme about 7 years ago. Got so into it I scared myself that I wouldn't be able to keep things separate. Last year started back up and knew then that I was trans. I know now I was all along, but didn't understand it as I do now.
Last July I admitted to my wife that I was a CD and that I needed her to know (a month before our 40th anniversary - tip, DON"T DO THAT! giggles), and I felt like I needed to explore it more at home. Then after some heavy therapy and discussions with the wife, she asked me if I wanted to be a woman. I told her not necessarily having bottom surgery, but I thought I should start HRT to see if it would help. So, by October, we knew I was going to socially transition and see what that looked like. We physically separated in June and looks like we won't stay together as a "married couple. Not just because of this, but the end of trust just was a tipping point that led to our current status.
Thank you Hope for opening your heart to us and sharing. 🙂
I was only 4 years old when I knew there was something different about me...I was supposed to be a girl!
I did get married and managed to cope while raising my two kids, my late wife knew about, as she called it, my problem. I managed to keep it private.
My first wife passed away after battling cancer, several years later I remarried. This past year I was dealing with gender dysphoria that was like a pressure cooker ready to blow. I had to 'come out', not only to my wife, but the whole world, that I was a transgendered woman. I have now transitioned and am living and working as a trans woman full time.
I was never good at all trying to play the part of being a boy. I was an actor on a stage with a script I couldn't read, playing a part that was meant for someone else. I have crossdressed all my life but never felt any sexual connection. Whenever I was wearing feminine attire I always felt at peace, these were the clothes I was meant to wear...!
Again, thank you Hope for sharing your story, all of our stories deserve to be shared and heard, they are all so valuable.
Love,
Lauren M
Thank you Hope for opening your heart to us and sharing. 🙂
I was only 4 years old when I knew there was something different about me...I was supposed to be a girl!
I did get married and managed to cope while raising my two kids, my late wife knew about, as she called it, my problem. I managed to keep it private.
My first wife passed away after battling cancer, several years later I remarried. This past year I was dealing with gender dysphoria that was like a pressure cooker ready to blow. I had to 'come out', not only to my wife, but the whole world, that I was a transgendered woman. I have now transitioned and am living and working as a trans woman full time.
I was never good at all trying to play the part of being a boy. I was an actor on a stage with a script I couldn't read, playing a part that was meant for someone else. I have crossdressed all my life but never felt any sexual connection. Whenever I was wearing feminine attire I always felt at peace, these were the clothes I was meant to wear...!
Again, thank you Hope for sharing your story, all of our stories deserve to be shared and heard, they are all so valuable.
Love,
Lauren M
Hope,
I enjoyed your article and of course could relate to it especially the part where you are crossdressing in the morning. My wife sleeps late so that is my fun time to dress up - just as you do. But I do not have any special music as I am doing it. As for your questions -
- I started crossdressing at age 11. I would sneak around and wear my mother and later my sisters clothing. And of course, I had fun doing it.
- I grew to adulthood and would go thru phases where I would be crosdressing and then other phases where my crossdressing would be dormant.
- I met my wife and eventually married but did not disclose my secret. I kept it under wraps for most of the time. But then I hit retirement and I decided its really time to explore this part of myself including buying a fem wardrobe.(I think a lot of the members on this site do this as i did at retirement). About 2 years after I started that and while we were moving, my wife discovered my secret. She was angry at first. But she is disabled and I have to do everything for her so I ultimately gained grudging acceptance of my second self in return for all that I do for her.
So, that is my story in a nutshell.
Alice Black
Alice Black same here I just retired about a year and like Hope story we get identified as a young age 5/7 try mom’s garter belts silky nylons but no shoes yet until maybe in my 40’s I discovered walking in 2 in. heels never thought getting out the house or just trying to walk and the way to walk (still practicing) and every time I got the chance I take it my wife taking a shower going next door neighbors I will record myself walking,turning looking at my walking videos watching why hips helps walking (noticed pointing inner and if using higher heels my ankles seems bend slightly) those videos and our sisters stories like first start is with 2/3 inches platforms and heel first and toe last with slow Criz Cross shoes . My wife knows but doesn’t want to meet Auroras she’s a little over weight like you she needs help after taking a bath a little dress up but I think sometimes I’m not dependable to her I love her but getting caught 4 or 6 times she gets upset cry only last time she mentioned about separation I said to her my urge to dress is been all my life and thinking since grammar to High Schools this would go away I had purge twice last time I put everything aside in a very hidden place my tools box and guitar cases now are also boxes with a distinctive marks so far I’m keeping everything again and with the help and advice from our sisters spouses here their stories has started to tell my wife why how and the urge the calm we get when we dress for me it doesn’t mean I will never look like a reality Súper Star but since childhood that image in the mirror with that silky nylons and that red lipstick until now it’s like no reversible way to just stop and start new beginnings no is just not easy but with ways to make our wife learn the why’s wanted to make it short story, it’s 1 am good night. Ps thank you all sisters and sisters spouses for your help to us.Happy dressing Auroras Livingfem
Thank you for your empathy and support Auroras. I send it back to you as well. Alice
Thank you for your empathy and support Auroras. I send it back to you as well. Alice
Alice Black same here I just retired about a year and like Hope story we get identified as a young age 5/7 try mom’s garter belts silky nylons but no shoes yet until maybe in my 40’s I discovered walking in 2 in. heels never thought getting out the house or just trying to walk and the way to walk (still practicing) and every time I got the chance I take it my wife taking a shower going next door neighbors I will record myself walking,turning looking at my walking videos watching why hips helps walking (noticed pointing inner and if using higher heels my ankles seems bend slightly) those videos and our sisters stories like first start is with 2/3 inches platforms and heel first and toe last with slow Criz Cross shoes . My wife knows but doesn’t want to meet Auroras she’s a little over weight like you she needs help after taking a bath a little dress up but I think sometimes I’m not dependable to her I love her but getting caught 4 or 6 times she gets upset cry only last time she mentioned about separation I said to her my urge to dress is been all my life and thinking since grammar to High Schools this would go away I had purge twice last time I put everything aside in a very hidden place my tools box and guitar cases now are also boxes with a distinctive marks so far I’m keeping everything again and with the help and advice from our sisters spouses here their stories has started to tell my wife why how and the urge the calm we get when we dress for me it doesn’t mean I will never look like a reality Súper Star but since childhood that image in the mirror with that silky nylons and that red lipstick until now it’s like no reversible way to just stop and start new beginnings no is just not easy but with ways to make our wife learn the why’s wanted to make it short story, it’s 1 am good night. Ps thank you all sisters and sisters spouses for your help to us.Happy dressing Auroras Livingfem
Hope,
I enjoyed your article and of course could relate to it especially the part where you are crossdressing in the morning. My wife sleeps late so that is my fun time to dress up - just as you do. But I do not have any special music as I am doing it. As for your questions -
- I started crossdressing at age 11. I would sneak around and wear my mother and later my sisters clothing. And of course, I had fun doing it.
- I grew to adulthood and would go thru phases where I would be crosdressing and then other phases where my crossdressing would be dormant.
- I met my wife and eventually married but did not disclose my secret. I kept it under wraps for most of the time. But then I hit retirement and I decided its really time to explore this part of myself including buying a fem wardrobe.(I think a lot of the members on this site do this as i did at retirement). About 2 years after I started that and while we were moving, my wife discovered my secret. She was angry at first. But she is disabled and I have to do everything for her so I ultimately gained grudging acceptance of my second self in return for all that I do for her.
So, that is my story in a nutshell.
Alice Black
For me it was when I was 7 or 8. I have a vivid memory from then. Then in my early 20s I met a woman who was fascinated by this and she encouraged me to dress and played a big role. It was an incredible time. Then back to being a ‘male’ for the next 30 years. Now having some fun expressing my true self again. Have told 3 people and they have been very supportive.
For me it was when I was 7 or 8. I have a vivid memory from then. Then in my early 20s I met a woman who was fascinated by this and she encouraged me to dress and played a big role. It was an incredible time. Then back to being a ‘male’ for the next 30 years. Now having some fun expressing my true self again. Have told 3 people and they have been very supportive.
Hope, I really enjoyed reading your article. Here are my thoughts to your questions….
"How old were you when you first thought that you are not a normal male, knew you were not gay but still something was off, and you LOVED to cross dress?”
I would say it hit me at puberty around 13. This was in the 80’s for me. I have seen a lot of people say they knew at 4 or 5, but that wasn’t the case for me at all. I knew I liked girls but also didn’t understand why I wanted to dress like them as well. Why did I want to put on those Gloria Vanderbilt jeans? Why did I want to put on that skirt? Why did I envy girls church dresses? I didn’t know there was a difference in sex and gender. I knew I wasn’t gay but yet I wanted to wear women’s clothes. It was both exhilarating and yet shameful and I didn’t understand it. I would be mortified if anyone found out my secret. Pre-internet, I felt I was alone in these feelings. I basically coped with this by saying to myself I am only crossdressing because of not having a girlfriend and this was a surrogate. I would stop CDing when I get a girlfriend or wife. LOL. Of course we know how that turned out.
What is interesting is I felt not normal and at the same time didn’t tie that into my CDing. That was another thing all together. I wasn’t good at “dude-ing.” I always felt I was kinda playing a role when around guys. I was off. I never could understand it. But at the same time didn’t tie CDing into this off-ness. When I put it ALL together, I understood it was ALL CONNECTED and I began to understand that I was really Trans.
"As this phase transitioned into marriage and having a family, how did you cope and were you able to cope?”
I kept my CDing secret from my wife for 20 years (no kids), though she likely suspected something. In my early retirement with idle time and no distractions my “egg finally cracked” and I admitted to myself I was a crossdresser. Up until that point I did it every so often but NEVER QUESTIONED WHY. I was afraid to ask the tough questions. But when my egg cracked I did the research. Join CDH as an example. 2 years later, I have found out I am not just a CDer….but Trans. Admitting I was CD was just a “trans in denial” phase for me.
Once I came out to myself I was CD, I also came out to my wife. It went well and she is accepting. I have detailed this in my user profile.
"When did you (or plan to) come out to your wife and family as a TG MTF?"
My phases I have gone through is “CDing without questioning why,” to “accepting CDing” to “accepting I am gender fluid” to “Trans.” I am Trans “in the closet” but I will not be transitioning.
I came out to my wife after 20 years of marriage after I came out to myself. I did research to all of the why’s. I wrote a letter to “get the words right and not be emotional” and gave it to my wife. It went great. My wife loves me unconditionally, knows that dressing makes me happy and she just wants me happy. So, I basically dress femininely around the house on a daily basis now and underdress when going out. Everything feels right. I don’t plan to come out to any of my other family. I am basically living a dual life but that is what makes me most happy without causing other complications. At the end of the day, we just have to find the right equilibrium that works best for our life.
Hope, I really enjoyed reading your article. Here are my thoughts to your questions….
"How old were you when you first thought that you are not a normal male, knew you were not gay but still something was off, and you LOVED to cross dress?”
I would say it hit me at puberty around 13. This was in the 80’s for me. I have seen a lot of people say they knew at 4 or 5, but that wasn’t the case for me at all. I knew I liked girls but also didn’t understand why I wanted to dress like them as well. Why did I want to put on those Gloria Vanderbilt jeans? Why did I want to put on that skirt? Why did I envy girls church dresses? I didn’t know there was a difference in sex and gender. I knew I wasn’t gay but yet I wanted to wear women’s clothes. It was both exhilarating and yet shameful and I didn’t understand it. I would be mortified if anyone found out my secret. Pre-internet, I felt I was alone in these feelings. I basically coped with this by saying to myself I am only crossdressing because of not having a girlfriend and this was a surrogate. I would stop CDing when I get a girlfriend or wife. LOL. Of course we know how that turned out.
What is interesting is I felt not normal and at the same time didn’t tie that into my CDing. That was another thing all together. I wasn’t good at “dude-ing.” I always felt I was kinda playing a role when around guys. I was off. I never could understand it. But at the same time didn’t tie CDing into this off-ness. When I put it ALL together, I understood it was ALL CONNECTED and I began to understand that I was really Trans.
"As this phase transitioned into marriage and having a family, how did you cope and were you able to cope?”
I kept my CDing secret from my wife for 20 years (no kids), though she likely suspected something. In my early retirement with idle time and no distractions my “egg finally cracked” and I admitted to myself I was a crossdresser. Up until that point I did it every so often but NEVER QUESTIONED WHY. I was afraid to ask the tough questions. But when my egg cracked I did the research. Join CDH as an example. 2 years later, I have found out I am not just a CDer….but Trans. Admitting I was CD was just a “trans in denial” phase for me.
Once I came out to myself I was CD, I also came out to my wife. It went well and she is accepting. I have detailed this in my user profile.
"When did you (or plan to) come out to your wife and family as a TG MTF?"
My phases I have gone through is “CDing without questioning why,” to “accepting CDing” to “accepting I am gender fluid” to “Trans.” I am Trans “in the closet” but I will not be transitioning.
I came out to my wife after 20 years of marriage after I came out to myself. I did research to all of the why’s. I wrote a letter to “get the words right and not be emotional” and gave it to my wife. It went great. My wife loves me unconditionally, knows that dressing makes me happy and she just wants me happy. So, I basically dress femininely around the house on a daily basis now and underdress when going out. Everything feels right. I don’t plan to come out to any of my other family. I am basically living a dual life but that is what makes me most happy without causing other complications. At the end of the day, we just have to find the right equilibrium that works best for our life.
