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Who do You Dress for?

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(@bmactavish)
Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago
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It occurred to me as I viewed the contest photos for this year’s contest that we all tend to be drawn to… something. Whether it is what we view and decide is appealing to what we desire in our mannerisms and dressing. Some of us have had the same sports team our entire life while others swap their current favorite for another when certain situations arise. As a kid, I played little league baseball for the Pirates; the team I rooted for until the Cubs snuck in around my edges and converted me. Pro football used to be the Dolphins, and I stayed true to them throughout Dan Marino’s career… now I root for the team that isn’t the (#$%!) and generally, they need to have an Iowa Hawkeye football player on their team.

I think we do the same rituals when it comes to (Who) we dress for instead of the nagging question of (Why) we dress. I once commented in a past article that I believe we dress to become the ideal version of the woman that we desire. If I could transform myself into that version, she would be the one that I’d want to be with. She is the one that would catch my eye and raise my blood pressure. It is also who I similarly look towards when scouting out the photos of other CDs, women, and transgendered. That classy, sassy, provocative mature lady. She shows just enough but is more likely the tease than treat. When a woman walks by me in a skirt, blouse, heels, hair, and nails done nicely, her makeup and accessories perfect and not garish, the scent of her perfume lassos me in as easily as the sway of her hips, I’m not only hooked; I’m also envious…

I want her as much as I want to be her. That is the duplicity of this life. I think we all would have searched for that mock-up (had we known way back when) of that vision to call our partner. If we had found them, would we have still navigated to this point on our crossdressing path? Would we have been more satisfied and content? Or… would it have driven us even more crazy? The more I dress, the more I refine some of those expectations. I am also in a constant study of all females (some feminine men) in the manner of how they present themselves, how they wear their clothes, hide their imperfections, walk in their heels, apply their makeup, use their hands to talk, and all manners of body language. I take it all in, process it, and then try to become it. This was so true throughout most of my journey. I realize that I am more than just a CD; I am a person moving along the transgender scale but stuck between the complexities and rewards of both genders. I can only pretend to be that version of desire. I could attempt to become closer to it by undergoing all the surgeries and such, but I still will never be able to be the “Ideal” rendering of that desire.

As a younger man, I could have lived a happy life as a stripper. Those shoes… the sexuality and promiscuity, the “look all you want but don’t touch” persona they had. Then it was the Hot Mama, the yoga guru, tennis star, toned, tan, and on a pedestal too high for me to climb. I’m still (even as I near my mid-sixties) enthralled by the mature executive or society lass who is in complete control of the room when she walks in. She shows her legs and cleavage, smiling when she sees you noticing. Wears clothes to accentuate what is best and hides the rest. Spends as much time perfecting the details as she does maintaining her body. She eats right, exercises, and knows that her makeup and accessories need to match her mood and her agenda. She is clever, sophisticated, put-together, and formidable. She is in control of herself and the subjects she rules. She comes from all walks of life. She might be our neighbor, a doctor, a church secretary, or even the single mother who still dresses for the occasion (and she does it extremely well) that is to be her stage. It matters not if it’s at the grocery store, shopping, eating out, mingling with friends, or sunning poolside.

But; back to the original insights. Who do you dress for? This is the complexity that I’m endeavoring to present. I admit that it hinges on the Why as well, but from a different angle. Are we prone to dress for what we miss or desire? Is it our way to symbolize and show appreciation for a particular person? I’m not delving into the fantasy or fetish arena; just the rationale for why we pick the certain style of clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, and mannerisms. An easy answer is to say it satisfies the male wanting within us. Who doesn’t love the hot chick country, gothic, punk, anime, etc. look? Am I dressing as the mature executive because I want to be her or is it deeper than that? Some of us dress to what we miss or felt was the best part of our lives; it could be our mothers, sisters, best friends, neighbors, classmates, celebrities, etc. Something draws us to that vision. It isn’t because it necessarily looks good on us, but it does assuage us, it is part of the pink fog that helps to remove the stress of being who we wish we were instead of who we are. Maybe, it’s much deeper than that!

When I’m in full glamour and I look good, I can’t help but wonder if an alternate version of me, fully woman, isn’t who I should be, who I want to find to be with, or someone I’m trying to impress with my dressing. Why else would I wear the shapewear, spend exorbitant amounts of money on my presentation (clothing, accessories, wigs, makeup, etc.), take endless pictures, endure sore feet, fear getting caught, and all the other incidentals rather than throwing on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, comfy fluffy slippers, a dab of lip-gloss, and call it all good? That’s what the typical woman would do on a Friday night after an exhausting week at work. Not us, and no way. We dress to impress… whether it is for ourselves or someone else.

More than enough for us to ponder this time… Have a great dressing experience, smile at yourself in the mirror, take the pictures, and enjoy the moment!

 

Until next time…

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117 Replies
35 Replies
(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1188

@bmactavish I dress for myself but it is grounded in the idea of blending in with other women.  Still, it would be nice to dress for another person who I am trying to impress.   It would be nice to let my inner, sexy woman out to impress another person.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

The way I love to dress, blending in would only happen at a business meeting, evening out, or a gala. It's why I try to dress more casually now, around the house if I'm not taking pictures, substituting heels for flats. Thanks for the comments!

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Lady
(@nataliecd)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 63

@lauren114 This is me too. I dress for myself and everything I do is to make me feel better about myself. And any critique I have is about how I feel I look in terms of passing.

I am lucky enough to also dress for my partner. She keeps my grounded in some of my wilder fashion looks (though some of it is that our fashion choices are just different) so I do try to make myself look nice for her as well.

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Lady
(@joannajoy)
Joined: 1 month ago

Reputable Member     British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 180

@bmactavish Hello Sabrina !! I dress for me. I dress androgynously as much as possible. I’m still in the closet with family and where I live, sadly , CD lifestyles are not looked upon fondly. But I need a feminine reminder all the time, so I underdress, panties all the time, cute ladies jeans… no embroidered pockets, ladies shorts that are unisex looking. Only feminine soaps, deodorant, moisturizers, these help me smell nice. I do this for me, for my need to feel feminine, not to impress others. Hugs… jo

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I do many of those same things. They are even promoting similar products towards men now. I wanted a more neutral aftershave, so I visited a high-end store. I spritzed some on and then asked a few nearby women shoppers what they thought. Before I knew it, 3 of them were helping me pick out a scent. Each had a favorite. I asked if that was what their husbands wore (I noticed the wedding rings...) and two of them said... I wish... Thanks for the comments.

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2041

@bmactavish 

Hi Sabrina like all the other girls i just dress 👗 for myself, it took me a long long time to accept that I'm a crossdresser and I'll always be one, nothing will change that i might have long times in between dress up days but it will always be there in the background, Roz will always have her days in the light, it's a pity that I've not got the courage to let everyone see her, 

Love Roz ❤️ 

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I think that is a personal decision. Do you need others to see her to feel... what? justified, satisfied, real? For me, being dressed in the mornings before work is the energy in my soul that allows me to navigate the world. Now that I can dress (at home whenever), I don't always because it depends more on what I'm feeling. That is what has surprised me. I thought having more freedom would have me dressed more. I do, but not as much as I thought. I have incorporated more androgynous clothing into my daily wear. Thanks for the comments!

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

you time will come and like a flower to the sun reach out with all that is you and feel its heat on your face smell the fields of spring because autumn rushes in as fast as spring fade's away and winter surly follows. We are the flowers sprinkled among the fields of life , we grow . we change and we sleep again, when the spirit of spring arrives we grasp it and run with it. What more can we need but maybe another flower to share the sunshine with , if only for a season....

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2041

@liza4you 

Thanks very much Liza, I'm sure everything will turn out fine in time, 

Love Roz ❤️ 

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 435

@bmactavish I have always dressed for me. I wear the types of clothes and the styles that I love, not what someone else might love on me. At times I have to check myself. I love short skirts and heels and showing my legs, but at my age that's no longer a good thing. It begins to look trashy and I surely don't want that. 

My style keeps evolving. In my younger days I wasn't the stripper type like you suggested, but probably more the hooker even though I was trying to look like the women in the magazines like Playboy and such. I never succeeded in achieving their look and always came out "cheaper". I began following fashion more closely, watching women my size more closely and learning what would look good on me. For a while a friend said my style was "Corporate Naughty". I think she was on the mark. I loved classy skirts and blouses with a hint naughty. I think men love that. 

Now I am retired, living in the country and have few places to wear those outfits or even a pretty dress. The women wear leggings and jeans and are very casual. I've become one of them and I think I like it. I'm the average woman wherever I go and usually don't get a second glance. I still dress up at home when I'm not going anywhere and long for some fancy party invitation so I can wear my best party dress. But for the most part you wouldn't know me from anyone else at the grocery store.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I can see that! I do still believe that even if we are dressed down, for many of us we would still be at the higher side of the style. Corporate naughty works for me! 😉 Thanks for the comments.

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

I think we all want to be happy , what else really is the reason to be, anything else we make for ourselves, only when we get it right can we be happy, its comes without all the work and its only when we are who we are meant to be. Do what you want for you not for me. If we strive to make others happy and forget about ourselves we are doing a disservice to both only when you are truly happy do you have much to share, when we comfort we share what we have we give some of what we have and we can do that without being truly happy I don't have to have a full cup just remember to keep a little for yourself when true happiness finds you and your cup runnith over tell everyone, share freely and don't let t fall to the ground it only takes a drop to bring life to the seed, but it will grow and the better the ground the more abundant its fruit, I think places like this and wonderful people all around is the ground and we care for all the stray flowers I look around and pardon me if I use a little quote from the powers that be because I look around and I see that it is good.......

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Duchess
(@melaniew)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Posts: 16

@bmactavish Whoa. What a piece of writing. I’m new here and what I find is way beyond expectations, typified by this article. 

I’ll read it again and collect my thoughts before responding to the content. In the meantime I just wanted to let you know how much I admire your prose.

Hugs Mel 💋

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Much appreciated! Thank you 🙂

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Duchess
(@jennconn)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 728

@bmactavish I dress to satisfy myself that I can actually become a woman when I look in the mirror.  But it depends on what I plan on doing when I’m dressed.  If I’m going to spend some time with girlfriends at a GNO, I’ll dress to help me blend while trying to look as good as possible around my friends, so in that case I dress for them and everyone else.  But when I just want to transform, I dress as whatever I want to be.  I didn’t have the advantage of dressing completely when I was younger, so now I want to experience it all.  Sometimes I like what I see at home and sometimes I don’t, but I still do this for me and because it’s fun and a stress relief to become someone else for a little while.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Is it being someone else for a while or actually getting the time to be us? That is my question. Yes, I dress for myself, but what or who influenced me that draws me out to wear 5-inch heels and tight skirts? Is it ingrained within me? I am at that point where I want to look my best and still blend in. Thanks for the comments!

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(@closetcelt)
Joined: 2 months ago

Trusted Member     Kentucky, United States of America
Posts: 46

@bmactavish I personally dress strictly for me, what I would want to be like as a women. I have found my perfect mate and we dress miles apart, she's more of a T-shirt and jeans kinda girl, and I'm more of a sundress and matching makeup kinda girl. However my sense of style and class is very much so modeled after Loreali Gilmore, period! I very much so idealize her in every way.

If your uncertain of who she is look up the 'Gilmore Girls' and Lauren Graham 

She is my beacon of light

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Good comments! I have a more generalized notion of what I like, and it is dependent on multiple women who have reinforced what I think of as my look or desire. Raquel Welch would be one, and Morgan Fairchild another, Thanks for the comments!

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Duchess
(@melaniew)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Posts: 16

@bmactavish Intensely thought provoking. Coincidentally I was asked this question just a few days ago and I didn't quite have the answer. My best effort after a little reflection, still doesn't directly answer the question. I think I dress to be me, with the emphasis on be. When I'm dressed I have a feeling of completeness that is otherwise absent, it feels natural like no other state and when I look at my own photos I feel that way too. All of this makes my heart leap. 

It's also true that I strive to make myself attractive to others, to be appreciated. Of course it's my perception of attractive. As you rightly point out, that's all we have to work wth. That's the beauty of it. 

For all the trial and complications I wouldn't have it any other way. 💕

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

At the heart of the question. Thanks for the comments! I agree with all that you said. Is it dressing or becoming? I think it may be time to split Crossdresser into another term besides transgender. I know there are some others out there, but they don't fit how I feel. Something that says, "I feel more me in female attire and mannerisms."

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1432

@melaniew @bmactavish I absolutely agree with this.  Even when I'm Fiona in boymode (which is still not the same as my old male self) I feel like I'm being who I am now.  It's lovely to really feel myself in my feminine clothes though.  I similarly like to look attractive to me, and I guess we all hope that by extension, that works on others, don't we?

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thanks for the comments! When I gave up the notion of being a manly man and accepted that I am some level of female, it eased my stress levels and put me on a learning path to becoming something more. 🙂

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Lady
(@wendye47)
Joined: 9 months ago

Estimable Member     Clwyd, United Kingdom
Posts: 71

@bmactavish You ask an important and crucial question here Brina. To be honest, I am not quite sure of the answer. 
I think for me, when I dress seriously, I want to be the sort of woman that I would desire (but maybe actually become?). So I guess I am dressing for me.

However, will have to think some more about this and get back to you.

Hugs

Wendy xx

 

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Ah... you read into the depth of my question! The obvious answer is, "I dress for myselt" which is undeniably true. However, I am trying to point out that it runs slightly deeper than that for many of us. Why do we choose the styles that we do, and go to all the lengths to achieve them? Thanks for the comments and reflection 🙂

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(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 601

@bmactavish Gosh Sabrina, this is quite the question! It all seems so simple at first, however... 🙂

I suppose the obvious answer is 'myself', which is as it has always been, since first discovering the pleasure of wearing sheer nylon tights at a very young age. As I developed my dressing-up developed with me and I wanted to dress like the women I saw and found attractive, who were for the most part the ones that wore clothes that I wished I could wear.

I have always - at least since I have had the ability and opportunity - tried to look like a real girl, but the sort girl that I would find sexy and attractive. Obviously this has meant there is a highly erotic element to my dressing, and I dress in clothes that play to that side of it; the sensations that certain fabrics give, the way certain items fit the body, the way they shine and so forth. Add to this the whole ritual of putting on makeup - which has it's own set of sensual triggers! lol - wearing perfume and jewellery... I love to see the end result and I never feel completely satisfied if my makeup isn't as perfect as can be or some other imperfection - if I have a ladder in my tights, I will have to change them immediately for example - even though for the longest time, I was the only person to see this version of me. 

One change is that I now consider what my SO will like about the way I am dressed. She is very style-conscious and has helped me so much with my dressing that I like to try to impress her with my choice of outfit and how my makeup is done and my accessories. She sees me dressed most of the time but there are those times when a special effort is required and I will choose a more glamorous and sexier outfit and spend longer on my makeup, just for her. And to be honest, it is such a thrill to be told that I look good and that she finds me sexy when I'm dressed like that is just, well, fabulous! lol

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thank you for getting deeper into the question I was posing. I love your answer. It's great that you have such a supportive SO. I'm sure there might be one out there for me, but if yours has an older sister... let me know 😉 I think there is a difference in our perception when we dress in secrecy, whether we venture into public or not, and when we share the experience with people close to us. Those instances also foster different feelings for the who and even the why we dress. Thanks for your comments!

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3957

Posted by: @bmactavish

I think we do the same rituals when it comes to (Who) we dress for instead of the nagging question of (Why) we dress.

I once commented in a past article that I believe we dress to become the ideal version of the woman that we desire.

If I could transform myself into that version, she would be the one that I’d want to be with.

It is a bit too early for me, in the CD environment, to know a lot about the psychology behind why we dress up, but,  based on what I have read on CDH, there are a few general reasons for why we dress, including but not limited to some sort of innate need starting at a very young age, a body dysphoria, genetics, some sort of fashion sense, and even a fetish. These are some very different reasons. 

Because of the variety of reasons for why we dress, does the person that we dress for (who) really change? Isn't crossdressing, ultimately,  just a selfish, self-fulfilling or self-satisfying need, expression or desire?

If that is true then most of us are just dressing for ourselves.

I think that this is true for me. I started crossdressing to wear better looking clothes, not for me to become a female. I thought that I c/would look better in different clothes than I normally wore. This is me looking at myself. My wife isn't all that enthralled by me crossdressing, so I certainly am not doing it for her. Am I trying to look better for John Q Public who I have no attachment to at all or reason to try to impress them? Maybe indirectly and that c/would apply equally to our drab wear, too, but I don't really know any of them, so the who of them doesn't really matter to me.

Seriously, I think that I am just dressing for myself by saying, "Hey, look at me! This is who I am. I look great!" I am not asking for anyone's permission. On the other hand, yes, it would be nice to get some positive feedback or approval every now and then, the same as any well dressed person deserves, but I survive without much of that, too. Therefore the why and who of Harriette are directly related or linked together. This could also apply to CDs who take pictures of themselves dressed to the nines at home but never show them to anyone. Or totally closeted CDs. Clearly, they also have an audience of one.

 

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I believe that many of us have started with those same assumptions. It isn't until we cross the line into wondering if we aren't, perhaps, more transgendered than we think or wish to be. Crossdressing early in my life was about self (in all ways) the excitement of wearing the nylon and heels, then the dress and lingerie. Later it was the need to be more realistic in my appearance, hence the need for breast forms and shapewear, better clothing choices, taking pictures to share and to mark my progress, to whether I am more woman than man, and if so, what to do about it. This is and always will be a personal path that is hard to generalize. Thanks for your comments!

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Lady
(@daddydavita)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Midland, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 68

@bmactavish , "I'll be more woman than a man like you can stand" Hedwig 😍 

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(@fabulous1)
Joined: 8 months ago

Reputable Member     Forest Hill, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 145

@bmactavish My response is quite simple, I dress for both. I wear things that I find attractive to my own eye. I like to look as authentic as I can be. I like to look at myself in the mirror and feel attractive. I like to be totally selfish and immerse my self in my own beauty.

But, I also dress for you. Why else would I be here? I love to take pictures of myself and upload them to CDH. I crave the enthusiastic, positive feedback that I sometimes receive. I like to be totally selfish and immerse myself in my own beauty and get your approval, your acceptance, too.

The bottom line is that I want the whole me to be okay. I want to feel liked, wanted, needed, dare I say loved, in spite of this odd tendency that I have lived all my life repressing. I want to fulfill the need I have to crossdress and for you to accept who I am. 

Simple. That’s who I dress for.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Good response! Acceptance and self. I think two of the most common reasons for the why we dress. It also satisfies the Who we dress for. I think there are many who love and need to share that image with others, whether it is just the "Here I am" or for positive reinforcement. Which one comes first? For me, I dress to be me (in multiple ways--glamour or femininity) and then share it occasionally to get positive comments. Thanks for the comments 🙂

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Lady
(@orcharddwee)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Staten Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 81

@bmactavish when I dress en femme I'm dressing for myself and when I dress as a man I do it for family and for work. Needless to say, I'm always awkward at work, or with family, and I'm totally relaxed when I'm with friends. In a way, I kind of hope that I do get exposed so I can put an end to this oppressive charade of dressing as a man, unless I'm doing some dirty jobs around the house. As you can imagine, when I'm snaking out my sewer line, I'm not feeling particular pretty, so I'll wear pants then, but I won't enjoy it.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I think many of us are where you are. Much more comfortable in femininity than our (must have to do) masculinity. I think there comes a time when our crossdressing flips to the opposite. We crossdress as a man instead. Thanks for the comments!

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(@geniv_cd)
Joined: 8 years ago

Reputable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 258

@bmactavish I started dressing as a child out of fascination with femininity. As I progressed, dressing more completely and trying to perfect my feminine look, became dressing for me. When life circumstances made me single again, I was able to fully explore my femininity. During that time, dressing became something I did on a daily basis…for me. During that same time, I began going out and enjoying life as Genivieve. Also during this time, I attracted an admirer, and began dressing for them. That was the most intensely satisfying for me. Doing my utmost to look attractive for my admirer was one of most femininely affirming things I ever did. Happy Woman Face

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Great comments! I'd be interested in hearing more about the dressing for your admirer. An article, perhaps? Even with all my influences and likes, I'm like most and the dressing is always for me first. It's knowing now the who isn't just me but also for those that have impacted me in various ways!

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Posts: 262
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Honorable Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

that's a lot to take in. i dress to be like the woman i wanted in my life. sexy, positive, nice legs, painted nails , tall and able to turn heads when she walked by. i got the positive down. i can go anywhere and do anything without a bother in the world. the legs are good, i get lots of complements on them. walking in heels is a breeze. i can turn heads, especially when wearing heels. but who can resist the sound of the clicking of heels walking on tile. i'm friendlier than my male self and can meet new people easier. if i only had my teenage butt and lips back that would be nice. add real breast and hair and i could be my dream girl. well, I'm at it lets change the color of my eye. close to perfect. 

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Oh... to have back the smaller waist and nice bum... I've developed the "Old Man" syndrome and only good shapewear can help with the curves... Thanks for the comments! 🙂

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Posts: 513
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I’m also envious… Such a true statement. Once again a wonderful article Brina, I dress for myself and how I'm feeling at the time. There are times though, that when I'll know in advance that I'll have ample time to dress, it's to be that woman that controls the room when she enters, and maybe someday I could pull it off. Until then I'm dressing for myself and smiling at myself when I look in the mirror.

Sherri

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thanks for commenting! Go grab that room! 🙂

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Posts: 2153
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I dr3ss for myself, and am not out to emulate anybody or fulfill some hidden agenda. I do take cues from other woman about things I like, especially my wife, but that is about it. If I go out, I dress to blend in and just be a "typical" woman walking down th3 street.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I think most would say similar things! Thanks for the comments.

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Posts: 597
Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I dress to be as beautiful as I possibly can be.  Classy and elegant women are what I view as the most beautiful so that is how I try to dress.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I agree 🙂 I love their style and grace. Thanks for the comments!

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Posts: 170
Lady
(@leslienix)
Reputable Member     Southport, Merseyside, United Kingdom
Joined: 7 months ago

'throwing on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt', yes I can do that, I can also do full glam, I can be inspired by women, tv's and ts, but who do I do it for?, Me I love it, I sometimes think how life would be if I was not a tranny, BORING!!!

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

That's a great philosophy to live by! I agree that this life is much more enriching than if it wasn't a part of me. Thanks for the comments!

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Posts: 149
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

My dressing has definitely evolved over the years. I've had the blessing of a fully supportive and participating wife who has a wonderful eye for how to style a complete look. I keep some old photos from times when I tried style myself and they are both hideous and hilarious. Luckily I didn't go out in public looking as such. When we started going out I asked her to help me look my best with what I have to work with. My preferred theme is casual and classy and my goal is simply to blend in like any other woman. I don't really want to be noticed but I love the feeling of confidence that comes from being put together. To answer the question of who I dress for, it's certainly me. But, if I had to do this all on my own I'm sure I would be a mess.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Wonderful comments! Thanks. When we have such little time to be dressed, we do try to be the best version we can. Every little detail matters. I'm sure many women would only shake their heads, but hey... I like what I like.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3957

Posted by: @mkat3874

my goal is simply to blend in like any other woman. I don't really want to be noticed but I love the feeling of confidence that comes from being put together.

I don't dress to purposefully draw attention either, but deep down, aren't crossdressers trying to be the equivalent of the male peacock? Fab rather than drab? That's just the opposite of blending in.

 

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Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 149

@harriette 

Interesting point!  I can certainly say that my feminine wardrobe has a lot more color and variety than my masculine.  

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3957

@mkat3874 Of course it is.

I bet that any crossdresser's wardrobe is better than almost any drab's closet. 🥰

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Posts: 3362
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Life is full of influences and in the formulative years it was just being in a dress that mattered so the immediate influence is around what is to hand, sisters or mothers clothes without thinking of why or who. At a young age it is dreaming of being girl but then wanting to dress as a nurse, fairy princess and so on. The mind is full of influence and who we would like to be.

As I grew I noted themes in what girls wore, I was observing fashion and was able to follow that as my sisters grew until those strikingly female shapes under the clothes appeared along with the ake up. I could then start to develop my shape and the style. I began to see certain clothes, usually dresses suited me better and felt comfortable in that style which seemed to suit me as an individual. I had arrived at the point where it was me and my style.

Alas the dark ages ensued and things were different where all I could do was the occasional dress up and had limited access to clothes.  I still watched what girls wore, followed fashion and when I finally picked up the pieces and started again I was back at square one. I knew what I liked but things had moved forward so it was trial and error where what I thought was right clearly wasn't and something had to be done about my shape as well.

It took a while but it started to come together, I was getting the sizes right, the shape right, hairstyle and then the look, my look. I could wear the dresses I liked which were suited to all situations for day to day but had nicer ones for occasions. I had skirts, tops and plenty of things to accessorize any occasion could be accommodated.

I was now dressing for me in my style, a culmination of all those images and influences coming together. As a consequence there were compliments which meant I pleased others, a nice benefit. So there was an element in the way I dressed that had to please others so a by product of the main reason. As I was out and about dressing for work, a walk out in a garden, interviews everything catered for and done for me to blend in and be accepted in the community but in my style.

Oh for fun at parties or an event, showgirl, superwoman, a fairy, Mrs Claus, secretary, mini mouse and so on where being among others who have dressed for fun as is what it is,fun and is mainly dressing for others to compete and win a prize or be admired for looking good and in the spirit of the event.

That is why I dress as I do and the reason.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Great insights and comments! I appreciate you giving such an in-depth reply! Thanks.

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Posts: 1290
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank you Sabrina for another well written thought provoking article…ever since my first makeover, I dress to show off my feminine persona for myself.. whether wearing my favorite LBD or a floral print … I think for 2025 its about time that Leonara goes out ‘n about for “all” to see.

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1 Reply
Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

You go girl and enjoy a cocktail for me 😉

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Posts: 73
Duchess
(@liza4you)
Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

I wonder about that perfect person, I am not sure sure we would get along with another version of yourself, I have thought about that thing from my counterparts side ,use 2 more of me, but I am not the easiest person to live with and the other me would be the same we may end up fighting more that not, but you also have the Twin theory, they can be inseparable. almost to the point of knowing each others thoughts and especially emotions now that would be a roller coaster ride for sure. Any analysts out there care to chime in?

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I would have to agree on how being so similar would work. I was referencing more the look than the personality. God help me if my version of perfection had all my characteristics... Thanks for the comments.

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Posts: 73
Duchess
(@liza4you)
Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

idk I dress for me, I like the way some of the outfits hug my body or the way i can express my mood there are a lot of sensual fabrics the coolness of leather, the smooth light brush of silk and satin, the tightness and controlled feeling of latex, the fuzzy tickling of furs, even the roughness of things like, polyester and cotton and the shine of PVC and vinyl, some have scents that bring back memory's, the smell of a new car, or new leather jacket and pants, vivid colors of any of the rubber based fabrics. each one has a sensual quality of its own. Or am I just weird?

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

I believe that all the stimulants speak to the person we are. The feeling of certain fabrics on freshly shaved legs... If men's clothes were so great women would be wearing them 😉

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Posts: 1092
Lady
(@margprodue)
Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Brina,  I'm out and open and just dress for myself.  Daily it's usually just a flannel or T-shirt and jeans.  If I'm going out, a lot of my wardrobe takes it's history from women I have admired.  Just a few of them are Jackie Kennedy, Cher, Sophia Loren, my aunt Helen, Joan Jett, Princess Di, Bette Midler, Dolly Parton, Diana Rigg and Joan Collins.  Thanks for the nice article,   Marg

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thank you! I appreciate the compliment. I'm still navigating what my daily look would be. I'm experimenting more with it, finding comfort in just being a total crossdresser (maybe trans) and not just hooked on one style or look. Thanks for the comments.

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Lady
(@daddydavita)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Midland, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 68

@margprodue Oh, I do want to meet aunt Helen! I love the thought, there is something that those women have that most men don't even come close to, and and that is something to aspire to. Thanks Marg

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Lady
(@margprodue)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 1092

Thanks Davita, Everyone loved her and I'm sure that you would have too. She never had children so I think we got all her love. I still wear one of her rings when I glam up. I kind of feel that she's along with me then.

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Lady
(@daddydavita)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Midland, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 68

What a special treasure to celebrate a life well lived. (just like Auntie Mame.) You are so very luck Marg.

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Posts: 466
Lady
(@krisburton)
Prominent Member     The Hub City, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Fascinating article Brina! If you had just asked me out of the clear blue who I am dressing for, I would have said myself. I know I strive to embody as best as I can those physical traits I admire while imaging the personality traits in producing my feminine persona. As I think about it tho it is more than that. Virtually all of the styles I have chosen for Kris would have been worn by my wife, and some actually have been. Even the wigs I have chosen emulate styles she has worn at different points of our life together. Most of all, when she compliments my presentation I find it most gratifying of all. If I show her a photo of a style I am interested in and she does not care for it, I usually pass. It seems that altho I do dress for myself I also subliminally seek her approval, so in that way I'm kind of dressing for her too. She no doubt is at the very least my main role model. I think it helps when you are creating a fantasy woman that the basis of the fantasy is your wife or SO - far less to have to explain! 😄 

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thanks for getting more into the essence of what I was trying to propose in my ramblings. I think that is special that you tend to favor her. I bet she appreciates it, too!
Thanks for the comments!

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Duchess
(@liza4you)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     MICHIGAN CITY, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 73

I am glad and I truly hope she appreciates it for what it is, I did and to some extent still do dress in ways that imitate my former partner. She didn't seem to like that, even if the clothing was not hers I could tell she was not sharing in my admiration for her. I don't even think it was because I did it better, I could never be as pretty I just wish she would have understood, I wanted to be like her , I didn't want to be her I am happy to be me.

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Lady
(@daddydavita)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Midland, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 68

@krisburton, my wife has her style and an amazing fashion sense that I admire but it is not exactly Davita's style, though the styles intersect. I have worn her dresses and she has gone looking in Davita's wardrobe and we love to discover and talk about fashion/design (her knowledge of Fashion with a capital "F" is vast). So I totally understand the feeling inside that comes with a comment from my wife about a look that I might be wearing. It thrills me.

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Posts: 1217
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

I really had to think about this.  As many of you know, I am an intersex trans woman and live 24/7 as a woman.  I grew up often wearing some of my mother's apparel and feeling that was completely natural.  Growing up I would have to say that her style was a definite influence.  She was a school teacher and would wear a dress, a top and skirt and even nice fitting women's slacks and a sweater.  Where I work, as the supervisor for security at a government office, I have to wear pants.  So every day I go to work wearing a pair of yoga pants with a very nice top or a blouse with a cardigan sweater.  I love feminine tops and have almost 40 of them.  I dress according to my own feminine style and to please myself and have been told by numerous women that I have classy style.  I dress to blend in and not stick out in a crowd.

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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1 Reply
Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Thanks for sharing your insights; very helpful. I think it would be great to find that comfort level where just being yourself becomes natural.

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Posts: 67
Duchess
(@jjennalove2000)
Estimable Member     St Louis area, Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I generally dress for myself each day; however there is always in the back of my mind how would I look or impress others. I imagine how both prospective partners or other ladies would respond to how I appear. Since I rarely venture out, the other validation I seek is from the ladies here when I post photos. I really do greatly appreciate when I get positive comments from the girls here.

Jenna

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1 Reply
Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1093

Good points! Are the pictures and the comments our validation? I take pictures to see how well I'm presenting the inside to the outside. I share them to state, "Here I am!" and to get some positive feedback. Thanks for the comments 🙂

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