Who do You Dress for?

Love the Article Brina

I know I am a selfish being. I dress for myself. But, as I have had some time while mending from an injury I have spent a little time reading about the Stonewall Riots. I was 6 years old and had no idea of what was happening. I will borrow the words of the senator from my home state of Wisconsin.

“There will not be a magic day when we wake up and it’s now okay to express ourselves publicly. We make that day by doing things publicly until it’s simply the way things are.” – Tammy Baldwin

Without realizing it I may be dressing for everyone who will follow. I may not change the world alone but I pray that we.... our community as a whole will bring about the change that this society needs.

Huggs

Bree

Brina,

I dress for myself but do it with two main goals in mind. First, I want to dress as a classy, stylish middle aged woman. Doing so takes 10 - 15 years off my look enabling me to wear a variety of very nice things. But secondly, I do it in a way that blends well with what other stylish, middle aged women are wearing. I dress to look like what my version of what an attractive, older woman looks like.

I too have studied women all my life and have incorporated a lot of what I learned into being Fiona. I have found that I really like the lady I have become, I like her a lot.

My point on the trans spectrum is somewhat different in that I am not - "stuck between the complexities and rewards of both genders." I have reached a point where I prefer the female me over the male me by a very large margin. Even though I don't have dysphoria, I hope to never again have to appear as my male self. 

Fiona ❤️ 

Very thoughtfully written, Brina. I just dress for myself as I don't go out dressed. Cute outfit, by the way. I love the way I feel when I dress but I'm just not passable so it's an intimate thing I do for myself.

I dress for me, because I love it.

In Anna mode, I don't dress down, I dress up so will always be trying to look my best, even if I don't have much time and just put a light makeup on.

I love the clothes, the shoes, I love looking in the mirror and seeing Anna appear as I put makeup on.

Hugs,

Anna xx

"She shows just enough but is more likely the tease than treat. When a woman walks by me in a skirt, blouse, heels, hair, and nails done nicely, her makeup and accessories perfect and not garish, the scent of her perfume lassos me in as easily as the sway of her hips, I’m not only hooked; I’m also envious…"

I have loved women and watching women all my life and I have a few years on you Brina. Now, more than ever I study what they wear, how they do their hair and makeup, how they blend items to show off a nice outfit. Oh yes, one of the joys of being a male, even tho' it can be hard to live with them, lol. As a committed cross-dresser these days, I am very likely to remember that look and try to emulate it and get my mirror's approval. Absolutely, when I see a lovely woman looking good, I get envious too but as much in an "I want to look like her" way not "I want to have and hold her" way.

Being a cross dresser is complex because as a man I still desire to "have" that woman but also look like her. These days I can truthfully say that when my mirror heartily approves of my look I get a huge charge out of it. Great article!

Hi! There are a few situations that define who I'm dressing for at a particular time. First, I dress for my spouse when she purchases clothes, a purse, or other new female item for me to show her right away how it looks on me(and if it fits of course). Outside of that scenario, I dress for myself and then for the office.

The way women(cis-females) dress these days in the office is, in my humble opinion, appalling. Thus, male and female workers in the office building where I conduct my business actually look forward to me coming in as I'm almost always fashionable as possible. The women in the office enjoy my outfits, ask me where I bought them and are very, very complimentary. Which begs the question, why don't these women, most in the 30-50 age range dress up nice for the office?

I"m out in public most days and do dress to "blend" into the "norm" which in Chicago's winters in a drab black coat, ugly boots, baggy sweatpants, worn jeans and a blouse that hangs out of their pants. No, I do not dress like that. My jeans are new, tight as possible(so look painted on me(LOL), and always have a stylish coat(red, white, pink). 

Just maybe us ladies can rub off on the female public. What do you think? Are female daily clothes drab for good?

Disclaimer: I understand the moms with multiple small children to deal with everyday leaving little time to look stylish and well made up especially if stuck at home every day.

Brina -

What an  interesting question and lovely varied responses.

I had to take some time to think about this before I responded. The simple answer is I dress for me. If I didn't I wouldn't dress. Therefore the why is important and that is because I  like the way it feels when I dress. The feel of the material, the different styles and such. However, it is more complex than that. I only dress at home and my wife and therapist are the only ones to have seen me dressed. I try to dress to be pretty (not an easy task with a belly and goatee) and I think I do an okay job. I also dress to emulate the women in my life that had an influence on me (i.e.; my mother, wife and others). I'm from the Leave It To Beaver, Donna Reed era so there is that influence as well. I also like the hippie era clothes (bell sleeves, bright colors, peasant dresses) and I find them to be very comfortable. 

I dress for me to be able to feel good about myself.

XOXO 

Suzanne

I dress for me. It is a private and subtle thing, at home and in public.

My motivation has many layers. I don’t want to be a woman, or present as a woman. I don’t want my dressing to be obvious. I just like wearing women’s things. It’s fun — it feels subversive and naughty. I love the idea of it. Something about simply knowing that I’m secretly wearing some articles of women’s clothing makes me feel good, smiley and complete.

I don’t feel a need to display my dressing, so I’m very stealth, subtle, and androgynous in my presentation. Yet at the same time, I must admit that I hope someone will notice one of the subtleties: “Pssst…that man over there…his toenails are painted…and he’s wearing toe rings.” Recently I noticed that a person sitting across from me in a café kept looking at the booties I was wearing. I’m sure he was thinking, “Are those women’s shoes…or not?” I love that. It is sort of a game, playing around the edges of traditional male presentation.

Although I’m very happy as a male, I am aware that I do have a feminine side, an inner girl. She is not very demanding, she doesn’t want to be featured, she just wants to peek out and wink once in a while. So I like being just a teeny-tiny bit pretty sometimes, whether it is with a pair of woman’s sneakers with subtle pink trim, some tight fitting Gloria Vanderbilt pull-on jeans, or a fresh pedicure.

Amazing! That could also describe me and a whole bunch of other crossdressers here.

While trying to be fairly androgynous, too, I am getting a bit more frisky with how I present myself. For example, since before Christmas, I have continuously had nail polish on both my hands and feet. A few women have complimented me for that, but most people have just avoided saying anything.

It's unlikely that I will be able to do this in warmer weather, so I am getting as much girly time in as I can now.

Cheers!

Hi, Brina, thanks for another great article. Of course I dress for myself. I have in my head swimming a lot of different ways to think of an respond to you. These days I wear a nice colorful and definitely feminine top and usually colorful floral leggings. This is my style around the house along with some nice tennis shoes. When out doing yard work I do wear jeans and a less nice top and a pair of worn out obvious women's trainers. Just noticing what I am wearing brings a smile to my face. Of course I always wear a little light makeup.
I keep thinking back to how I have been presenting at Church. I had almost a full year where I wore women's black pants and a black blazer with a nice top/blouse and black flats. A mostly androgynous look with my shoulder length hair tied back. Starting in September of 2023 I have gone in full Cassie mode. Usually wearing a dress. I think that more women are now wearing dresses 👗 to Church or at least nicer than the worn jeans, top and dirty trainers. I have DEFINITELY seen that my Ex, with whom I still share the house with, is now wearing more colorful tops and nicer shoes.
I hope my dressing up to make me happier has brought a little positive attitude in other's lives.

Oh, I just about forgot, Brina, GO CYCLONES.
Cassie

I dress for myself. I have 2 looks. I like to dress glamorously and ladylike in a formal dress or evening gown. Since I joined here , I have developed a second look - wearing more provocative clothes to accentuate my feminine features. Have fun with both looks.

Hi Brina,
I've found that when we go out to eat, shopping or whatever I have a tendency to lean towards that 60s/70s look, probably because those were my more formative years. Just as I still listen to mostly "classic" rock music. I love that the bell bottom and flair leg pants have come back, and I already have a bunch of different styles. But I enjoy that classic secretary style, pencil skirt, white blouse, 4 or 5" stilettos and wear a version often when we go to dinner. My friend has taught me I have to learn to dress down a bit, I think sometimes we do have a tendency to over dress, women just don't dress up any more. Otherwise (I am single and retired, I have time and opportunity to play) I find I dress for the playmate. People have different tastes, different fantasies, and I find great fun in being able to be a part of their fantasies. So I do have quite an assortment of outfits, and I do enjoy wearing them all.
I really enjoy women's clothes so many times I dress just for fun. I've gone out in the full fluffy petticoat poodle skirt outfits, Victorian gowns, long floor length slit leg gowns with 5" stilettos, skirts of every length and style, leather and lace, and of course now flair leg pants. I have somewhere around a dozen wigs in different colors and lengths to go with the different outfits. When I'm home alone it's usually just some jeans and a blouse with some kind of 3" wedge shoe or sandal. Women's clothes are just so much fun, we don't need to lock ourselves into a specific style to look good. I think hanging out with younger people helps to keep things fun also, our years, although they do have an impact, do not have to define us. We are free to express ourselves in any way (as long as it's decent) that makes us happy. Girls just wanna have fun.
Life is good.
Hugs,
Jennifer

I dress for myself. To know that I'm attractive. And to feel the bralette hug my breasts. But I also dress for that fantasy man or gurl who might need seducing. Nothing like a zippered fleece to quickly expose a fetching teddy or floral bra..

I'm dressing for the girl within me. She loves the spicy variety of feminine fashion. It more like a primal instinct. The huntress cat on the loose. But dressed up pleadingly nice. With some degree of spice!

Fran 🥰

I dress for myself and have shall we say a few outfits (actually more than my male side). I dress for myself and enjoy it a lot obviously. I have been taking pictures of myself for years and now with apps on my phone I can change my look. The app will change gender give me a more female face and another app lets me put makeup on my face better than I can achieve myself. I look much younger with good makeup and more feminine I love them. With my outfits I have found my style over the years. Which is midi length skirts and dresses which swish swirl and float. With satin lace silk and of course chiffon and as everyone else I’m at my happiest dressed.