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Women and shopping.
One of the things about women is the ability to shop, perhaps a primeval trait within the psyche from the days of foraging while the men go hunting. To men, it is one enigma about women that they can’t seem to comprehend. Yes, there is food shopping for essentials, which takes longer than most men take as they would get a list, dive in, and get out quickly. But why do women go out for the day shopping with a friend or a group and be gone for the whole day and still potentially come back with nothing, what’s the point?
It was something I didn’t quite get until starting to go out more with female company, and then it all made sense and is now second nature for me. A man going shopping with a woman might just shuffle around in the background and wish he wasn’t there. Some shops have a men’s area where they can sit it out as their lady wanders around trying things on, chatting, and apparently enjoying it, and perfectly happy to be coming away empty-handed!
The other week, on a sunny day a friend suggested we take a trip to a town full of shops on the coast, and I thought, “Why not?” Picking her up in the morning, we took a leisurely drive, chatting about various topics as neither of us had anything particular in mind to buy. On arrival, we sat and had a coffee while planning a route to take in the shops, mostly those offering clothing and charity. Time seemed to be of no consequence as we methodically worked our way through the town looking at anything and everything, chatting with sales assistants and other shoppers. There were many temptations, us trying things on and laughing when holding up some age-inappropriate items. There was a break for lunch where we sat on the promenade enjoying the sun and sea view with nothing yet bought. Back into town, we headed to more shops devouring them until my friend found a must-have dress, and soon after, I encountered a dress that cried out to be bought. After a quick try on and show it was in the bag. It was soon to be followed by a pair of shoes, and my friend found a lovely coat she couldn’t resist.
By late afternoon we had exhausted the shops and ourselves as the final action was to have another coffee sitting down to compare notes and purchases. Two apiece after about five hours of shopping but we hadn’t gone shopping, we had gone to shop. It’s a social thing and many other ladies were doing the same as we chatted with many of them. We were connected, and we understood. The salesgirls knew what we were doing and helped to make the experience more pleasurable, knowing they would perhaps not see a sale, they also understood. I have cast off the male now, and I understand being part of it. You don’t have to actually buy anything, it’s a thing, a women’s thing, one where they do not care if any man understands skipping the need to explain it as most still won’t get it.
To offer a comparison; women mostly don’t understand why men go hunting or fishing. To be out all day and come home with nothing. What’s the point? Try explaining it and they still don’t understand, but it is fundamentally the same as why women shop. I get it and can’t wait for the next shopping adventure!
I have always enjoyed my clothing shopping time as Diana. I am still trying to define what looks good on me and what doesn't. I have also lost almost 30 lbs since retiring 6 months ago and what looks good on me is changing as my weight drops. I can easily spend a day out trying on different styles even some that I know would look terrible but I just want to see. Sometimes these options do end up working out as well.
Totally agree I adore shopping and love nothing more than spending a carefree day browsing .peta
Went shopping with my wife, on Monday. Lots of stores. Lots of time in the dressing rooms, but bought nothing. Crazy? But we had a lovely Girls Day Out!
As a man, I used to hate shopping. It was go in, grab what you need and get out and, if I was with my wife, I used to sit somewhere and wonder what was taking her so long. Now, I too love to shop, it's actually fun sometimes and is a completely different experience. It's so nice looking for things that can make you look pretty or sexy. There are salespeople in a few stores that know me by name because I'm there so much.
Even when I can't get to a store for a bit, I often find myself browsing their web sites for something. It's not as good as going in person but it helps satisfy my urge to shop.
Thanks for helping me “get it”!
Now I’ve got to get out there and practice what I just learned from your wonderful article! Thanks, Angela!
Hugs
Jules
Going shopping is so much fun ☺️. My routine now is on my day off I do my shopping, part of the day is going store to store checking for cute tops, shoes, panties, bras and more.
One of my favorites is the clearance at Torrid
More than once I have taken an arm load of clothes into the fitting room and done a little dance while trying them on. I so much wanted to sing, but I feared my male voice would out me. BUT it was so much fun!!!!
I love to shop. My wife ironically hates shopping. It's why and how we do it differently.
She shops because she needs something, wants something, and that leads to a goal, and with that a high chance of failure. For her, the outfit, shoes, accessories, are meant to be used and worn in public, so they must look good, fitting, current fashions, etc. The cost has to be reasonable too. So that leads to hours of tiring browsing, let downs when sizes don't work, and a loss of motivation. She now loves online shopping so much better.
I shop differently.
For guy stuff, it's quick, decisive, goal focused, and so easy since my styles and interests are very basic, and quite limited. Typical guy shopping experience.
For girl stuff, it's more browsing, more needing good luck in sizes and prices, more being creative, the goal is to just be out there, and finding any one item is a pleasant surprise, not an objective by necessity. That takes time and energy. But it's for my hobbyish closet and it's fun. And shopping in the women's dept or women's stores relieves the stress and anxiety by letting my girl side out.
When I see an item, I have fun asking myself in this order:
1. Is it my size
2. Is it my price range
3. Will it look semi okay on me, fit me
4. How is that worn, with what shoes, what accessories
5. What do I have that goes with it
6. And with my growing collection, do I have something like it already
In a mall or dept store, question #2 usually gets me moving along because I want to keep this CD lifestyle low cost, low on wasted money knowing most things will never be worn in public or for anyone.
In a thrift store, it's more about the price, the wear and tear of the item, and if I want it. I confess, I've bought items just to see how I looked and felt to be in them at home. Examples.... very young woman styles, expensive brands for a few dollars, fashionista apparel, sexy shoes 1 size too small and yet still can squeeze into for a short dress up session.
To add more fun and practicality to shopping, I either wear feminine shoes in male drab mode, or dress up neck down, while pretending that I'm an ambassador for CDs to increase awareness that a hetero guy can dress this way. Silly, I know.
For these reasons, I love shopping.
It's interesting to hear from other girls who love shopping that their wives were exactly the opposite and would only shop when they actually needed something. My late wife was like this and hated shopping. So she tended to buy much the same stuff as before and from the same stores. Women's shops are much better at refreshing stock on an almost weekly basis so regular browsing is not only enjoyable but provides an opportunity to view all the latest trends in person rather than clicking away at a computer screen. In the UK a lot of high street stores are closing and some brands are becoming exclusively online. It will be a tragedy for us girls if the shopping experience becomes much less fun because of the demise of bricks and mortar shops.
Veronica
Hi Angela
What a great article!
I remember fondly an advert on UK TV ages ago. It was a typical scenario, Saturday morning shopping girlfriend trying on clothes, bored boyfriend comes out with the line “If you like it, I like it”
Thankfully, I’ve never uttered those awful words but your article has hit the nail on the head. I love seeing what clothes and dresses my wife buys and offering feedback on colour and style.
Those brief times where I’ve gone out shopping with an understanding friend are awesome and so fulfilling.
Thank you for writing and sharing.
Hugs,
Samantha x x
I don't shop like that. I might go into a store without a goal, browse around, maybe find one or two items I would even like to try on, and maybe buy one. I don't spend more than a half an hour, and I don't hit multiple stores.
I don't have anyone to go with, and my closet is overflowing with clothes I don't wear frequently enough for me to add more than one item. Shoes are impossible to find in stores in my size and width, but I don't like ordering shoes online and hope they fit and are (reasonably) comfortable.
I agree that too many retailers have gone to online only. I don't like ordering online as much as seeing the items in the stores, and then you have to worry about how it fits and looks on you (and not on the models), and possible returns. Sometimes I prefer feeling the material too, something you can't do online. Some retailers have brick and mortar stores, but their selection there is much more limiting than what is available online.
Thank you, Angela, for this article and helping provide some clarity. Agreed. Girls just want to have fun, and one of the ways of doing this is to shop! Revel loves to shop for a bargain! We all love to shop for feminine clothing, but I like to shop for anything I can use, especially in thrift stores. Men like to hunt for animals outdoors, but we ladies like to hunt for deals indoors. Haha. The fun part is the thrill of the hunt! 😉
Rev
Thank you Revel. Yes shopping is much better than being outdoors, especially if you live in colder climes. I love bargains too as my wardrobes testify.
