Age to transition

Hi, Carolyn, good question.  Personally, I don't think you should ever consider yourself too old to transition.  It's your life which means there are really  more important things to consider.  And even though it is expensive, it's still less than the cost of a home (which we buy and then sell), or a luxury car which only lasts 5-10 years, or the college education of one!!! of your possible children.  What turns out to be important is the value you put on those intangible things - family, spouse, children, career. At 20, the costs do look insurmountable, but choosing to get married and then raise a family, buying those cars, that house, saving for your kids education, all those costs are a lot more than what you would have spent to transition.  And now you are dramatically changing what you feel is important, all those expenses suddenly (yes, by the time you reach 50, they were sudden) take precedence over something that your loved ones may feel only benefits you.  Of course, this is just 'wonderful' advice from an aging transgendered person. And looking back now on my life and where it's taken me, would I give up 3 children and 4 grandchildren? And all those lives they have affected for the better? Tough questions. Maybe if sites like this had existed, or being trans wasn't considered some kind of perversion at that time, maybe things would have been different.  Don't let age be the stopping argument; it's how badly do you want it, how much are you willing to sacrifice to do it. I've learned one thing in life, everything comes with a cost.  It comes down to how much are you willing to take on.

I would say from a physical health point of view you should do it before you're 40. Transitioning is very hard on the body, you're taking away the hormones your body thinks it should have and supplementing female hormones which causes a great deal of stress especially on your heart. I know this from personal experience, I had a heart attack at 48 afterward I was talking to a psychologist about transitioning and she flat out told me to forget it, they wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole.

Chloe, you brought up so many things that anyone of us have to take into account. The longer you wait the more your life adds things that may hold you back. Wife, children, friends, status in society, job, and so on. All these have to be taken into account as you try to satisfy your need to be whole. It is a personal decision that is different for everyone. Thank you for your letter.

I know that transition would never be my choice because it is not what I need.  But if life has taught us anything, it's that each of us is equally worthy and our needs have to be met by our own unique and special choices.  I would support the journey of anyone who wants to become the person they need to fulfill their dreams.

FAM

One final thought. As you all can probably imagine, my favorite movie of all time is, It’s A Wonderful Life. One thing I don’t think we transgendered people take into account when we’re considering transitioning is that if we are already outgoing, caring, compassionate people, ready to help others in need, ready to put ourselves out there, and we have this huge conflict raging within us at the same time, imagine how much better we can be in all those things to others if we take that step and finally feel right and at peace with ourselves! Maybe it shouldn’t be, I want this because of me, maybe it should be I want this because of what I will now be capable of being to others.

As an old medic, I don't think it's possible to assign a fixed age limit for everyone considering SRS. However, ANY surgery after age 60 carries higher risk, and considering the timeline for such, and the cost/benefit ratio, I would estimate age 50 as the maximum for most.
HRT is more dependent on health than age, and I can see no upper age limit, per se. Even considered it for myself, but my primary care doctor would never approve.

haha Tiff, I feel like you had me in mind since I'm 62.  🙂  Have a great day you ball of fun and sunshine.

If you need it, can afford it and are sufficiently healthy then go for it. The medical aspects get more challenging as one ages. I'm not sure of the emotional parts. I find I'm better able to cope with change and accept myself as I am as I age. However, I have many friends that I have known for over 40 years and have been married to the best person I have ever met for 41 years. Fear of destroying those relationships is the strong impediment for me. Being married and retired financial security would be at risk if something happens to the marriage for both of us.

Age by itself shouldn't be a barrier.

I voted for "Never too Old", as if that's what you really need and want, then go for it! However, certainly the younger the better, once you've reached the Age of Majority in your jurisdiction.

Amy

I am not surprised that the overwhelming response is "never too old".  I responded in kind.   I'm sure we all feel that if someone is suffering from gender dysphoria, why should age, a number, be a determining factor in whether they can do something about transitioning and being happy for the remainder of their lives.  Of course, as we advance in age, our bodies become less able to handle the rigors of GRS so the true restraint is their physical condition which is interrelated to one's age.  Making a denial on the basis of just a number, should not be the criterion.

Exactly, my thoughts, Miranda.

Excellent, Chloe! I believe that being Dawn makes me a better person. I'm happier, more congenial & more understanding. I think that would translate to me contributing more to society.

I know never too old is a wonderful thought.

But you have to understand what your body, not your mind can deal with.

Sad to say and I mean no disrespect, but it has to be better living the rest your life as a wonderful, pretty, Feminine Girl entirely immensested Girl

I agree with you and CholeC it is a personal decision I put 40 because i think it would help to be a little younger to have better chance to recover (heal) and for you to enjoy it a a woman. But I do think you are never to old to really get it done. I just think of my loss of hair and trying to get it back and my life and position and my kids and job and so many things that if i should have taken the step i probably should have done it in my late 30s or early 40s but the world was a lot different back then. This is a great question though.