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Hi dear girls,
I've been crossdressing from past couple of years now. But sometimes i think it's a wrong thing what I'm doing and sometimes i feel like it's okay, there are many people like me who likes to crossdress. One day suddenly i deleted all my pics of cross-dressing thinking that what I'm doing is totally wrong and i should stop it. But after few months i regretted my decision and thought that those were my good memories. Do you all girls here feel the same or am i the only one. Kindly let me know so i can take my decision accordingly.
@shreyushah
Hi Shreya
I voted 'right'.
It's just clothes, it's not hurting anyone (admittedly, I'm single, so that's a factor there), and all I'm doing is being true to myself.
How can any of that be wrong?
I'm 61 now, and I've been doing this since I was at least six. At no point during that time have I ever actually felt bad about it. Confused, yes; bad, no.
Now that I've taken early retirement I'm building many, many happy memories with friends from the site. I've never been happier.
Bring it on!
Hugs
Ellie x
(PS - Just so you know, I moved the thread from 'General Chat' to 'Crossdresser Heaven Polls')
@ellyd22 okay, that's really nice that you've clearity about crossdressing in your mind. Even i think so that it's none of other business what am i wearing but still sometimes it feel like something is odd I'm doing. Still i love the way you explained and I'll try to stick to it. Thankyou girl for positive response.
Love ❤️
@shreyushah Shreya, what, no negative votes? Well there's a surprise! It's a yes from me. You've got so many sensible and lovely responses, so I'll just say that I agree it's a bit odd. That's one of the things that makes it so exciting!
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Yes , all positive votes because we are crossdressing community. So we will definitely support these. And I've got my answer as well. I think there is nothing wrong in wearing a saree.
Thankyou girl ❤️
It's just clothes ....
I don't want to hijack the topic, and I'm hoping to soon start an entire topic about this. But it's not "just clothes." When women crossdress, it's just clothes. They don't try to look like or act like men. When men crossdress, more often than not they try to make themselves look like women, with makeup, wigs, shapewear, and breast forms. They try to adopt feminine mannerisms, deportment, and sometimes voice. When men do it "just for clothes," we insult them by calling them "a man in a dress."
@alison-anderson Wow, that was quiet different perception. It's true whenever we wear womens clothes our behaviour tends to change and we try to act girly. But that's the way society is working i think. Still i think we should wear whatever we feel comfy in. There's nothing wrong in it.
@alison-anderson - Speaking for myself, I've never thought of myself or pretended to be anything other than "a man in a dress", so I don't consider it to be an insult.
And whilst they may not strictly (or perhaps they are) be crossdressers, have you never seen a butch lesbian?
@sienna106 Hi Sienna,
You're right we are just a men in dress. We are just wearing a piece of clothing. That's nothing wrong in it.
@shreyushah - Agreed, nothing wrong with it at all. If only the rest of the world could see it that way 🙂
@alison-anderson Good point! Yet at one time say back in the early part of the 20th century, say up till the 50s a woman in anything but a dress was improper, women even wore casual house dresses for housework when at home.
I'm sure when the first few women started wearing pants it was considered odd and improper! And now it's completely normal!
I don't get why more women now don't want to wear dresses! I find them quite comfortable!
@queenofdiamonds1960 exactly same . I think the same Michelle. Sometimes i see women without makeup without their hair done. At that time i think I'm as a Shreya not getting chance to do these things and they are not doing it on their own. I feel like if i was allowed to fo these i would been pretty girl all the time. Wore saree with good makeup some accessories all the time. But i don't know why some womens nowadays don't wanna be that.
When women crossdress, it's just clothes. They don't try to look like or act like men.
Not to put top fine of a point on that, but some women do, and not just in the movies.
When I first met my wife and she introduced me to her community, there were a few FtM transformations that I saw who cut their hair, wore the clothes, and bound their breasts.
Now, this was over 3 decades ago and it is a bit fuzzy and I don't know all of their details, so I don't know if they changed other mannerisms to go along with their presentation, but my guess would be probably not. I will have to ask her some day.
@harriette so yes, these was something I've heard but I've never seen. Maybe these concept is not very common in India. Do I've not seen any of them
@shreyushah Oh, it's right, no doubt about that 🙂 You just need society around you to see it that way too.
Here in the UK, maybe not everyone does, but very few people indeed act in any sort of negative way towards me when I encounter them while fully en femme - and even then it only seems to be the odd comment. So I'm completely comfortable living and presenting full-time as a woman. Like Ellie, I've never been happier 🙂
@finallyfiona That's really great that people there are accepting. But in india situation is not like that. People here does not accept crossdresser or transgender. So i think that's why it's difficult for me here.
@shreyushah There are the traditional hijras, so would not most Indians be at least somewhat familiar with the concept of men living as women (the 3rd gender) by now?
@harriette Yes people are aware but at the same time hijras in India are not allowed to live in normal society. They are treated as some different creatures. It's not easy for them to adjust with people in society. They all make their groups and stay seperately far away from the people where no one hates them. So it's not easy.
@shreyushah Got it. Should this still be considered part of the old caste system?
@shreyushah Hi Shreya,
I believe that if it brings you happiness, it has to be right.
There have been times when I have felt shame or embarrassment about my own interest in cross dressing. I have had total clear-outs of all my clothes and tried to suppress this side of myself. But this has ALWAYS resulted in me feeling worse off. Whenever I have done this, it has left me feeling a little broken inside. So, I understand why you posted the question, and it is a good conversation starter...
You have to do whatever you feel comfortable with, of course. You have to do you! But I hope you will find peace with this side of yourself. It is there, inside you. Love it and treat it with the kindness and respect it deserves. Own it. You've got this!
Best wishes,
Katie
@k-knight Hi Katie, these is the best answer to my question i think. And by your experience i came to know that it's not only me . Many people are thinking like me . But you made my mind clear, if it's giving me comfort and pleasure and it's not hurting anyone than i should definitely fo these. Btw till now I've lost many of my photos while being shreya.
@shreyushah Shreya, maybe it's time to take some new photos? Enjoy it! I'm so happy I could find something useful to say. Best wishes! K
@k-knight Definitely , whenever I'll get some chance I'll be the Shreya again and take lots of photos.
@shreyushah "The Shreya" ?? That sounds almost ominous... it puts me in mind of "The Shrike" from Dan Simmons' "Hyperion" novels....
@k-knight Ive flipped flopped my entire life. As I've gotten older Im doing a much better job of self acceptance and just enjoy it instead of the constant battle in my head
@ellie56 That's great, you've gained experience and you're right. Self acceptance is very important.
@ellie56 That's so good to hear, Ellie. So good and so encouraging! Its great that you have come through something and can allow yourself to enjoy this part of yourself! This thing is something that is in us. It is one piece that makes up the whole. Far better to embrace it and enjoy being whole, than to struggle on with missing pieces. That's how I see it, anyway!
@shreyushah
I voted for "right" but that is a struggle I had for many years. It was after I started meeting and interacting with people like me that I started to move beyond my negative ideas from the past. I started to embrace myself and see that this is a part of me that has been here all along and is not going anywhere and is not causing harm to myself or anyone else. Why should I feel bad about a very real part of me?
@mkat3874 Hi Michelle, yes it's true. Even I'm going to continue my journey as a crossdresser and take my pleasure out of it. I will remove all the negative thoughts out of my mind. Thankyou dear for guiding.
@shreyushah
Hi, Shreya.
Okay, I can't resist but I'll get it out of the way first. You are asking a crossdresser community if we think it's right or wrong 😂😂😂.
Now that's satisfied my occasional need for devilment, I'll tell you why I voted, "right". Like Ellie and Fluff, I've never been happier in my life. Like you, I spent too many years to mention (ok, more than fifty), believing that there must be something wrong with me.
Then, about 16 months ago, I decided to actually look into this "aberration" instead of hiding and denying it. I soon realised that I needed to seek the views of other crossdressers and, after a couple of scary search results, I found this community.
Thanks, in particular, to the friends I've made here, but also the wider membership, I quickly lost the feeling of being wrong and alone.
Now, I love the female side of me and I'm proud to consider myself somewhere in the middle of the trans spectrum. Just today, I was getting grumpy about people offering an insulting amount of money for something I'm trying to sell, already half the price that I paid for it. Then Allie popped up and said, what does it really matter? Other people can't take away my happiness. I actually exclaimed, "I love you, Allie!"
Whether you hide it or not, know that your feminine side, however much she is, makes you whole. Embrace her and remember to thank her for the joy she will bring you.
Allie x
@alexina Hi Allie, Your right 🤣🤣. But I've no other people to ask so it was my last resort. Anyways if you've taken so long time and decided that it's right then i need to waste no time and accept it and embrace Shreya.
Thankyou so much darling ♥️
@shreyushah
You're welcome, Shreya. You're fairly new here but you'll soon get used to my "humour". I said it in my welcome to your intro and it stands, we're here to help each other, it's a pleasure.
Allie x
@shreyushah I voted right. How could you not and be a member here? But I really know what you are thinking. I used to be ashamed of what I did, but there’s really no reason for it at all. Another reason that I voted right is that there can’t be a wrong way to crossdress.
@jennconn yaa that's true. Even i think there's nothing wrong in doing it.
@shreyushah certainly not. Crossdressing is not about right or wrong, it’s about nature. I know the desire to cross dress and it’s best to accept nature. It gives you the chance to be who you truly want to be. One reason I never liked being a boy was bc I always loved ladies clothes and putting everything on from panties to jewelry is such a satisfaction. It’s all about nature, don’t fight it
@bathingsuitbeauty26 Very much so, Sybil. It's the total female package. I love it all!
@bathingsuitbeauty26 Yaa , that's right. When we are dressed we feel more comfy. So you're right it's about nature.
Thankyou Darling
@shreyushah
I voted RIGHT.
I've known since I was three that I should've been born a girl. Unfortunately, the message I got was unacceptance. That started a decades long cycle of dressing, shame & loathing, and purging. Rinse & repeat ad nauseum.
About ten years ago my egg cracked. It was a low point. That's when I knew it was time to discover who I really was. It took a few more years to realize I was trans and needed to transition. It's the smartest thing I've ever done. I've never been happier.
Today it doesn't feel like I'm crossdressing. I just wear my clothes. Sure, everything I wear is made for women. But what I wear doesn't define who I am, and it doesn't change how I feel about myself. It took a long time to understand this is who I am, and I am being true to who I am.
Women's clothes are a way to express my identity. And that is all the reason I need to wear what feels RIGHT to me.
Liz xx
@lizk ohhh, you've came a long way. That's great that you've made a decision and you're happy about it. Even I'm staying with my decision that there's nothing wrong in crossdressing as it is just piece of clothing and I'm not hurting anyone.
Thankyou Girl. ❤️
@shreyushah
Golf: right or wrong?
TV: right or wrong?
To me these are merely activities and don't really have any moral implications at all. There is no option for 'neither' in your poll.
It's less about the activity and more about what one does with it. I don't feel there's anything innately wrong about golf - but if you're spending so much time at it that you're neglecting your responsibilities elsewhere, then it's about your decisions, not the golf itself. If you're spending so much money on it that you aren't able to meet your or your family's essential needs, then the wrongness is in your choices.
If by golfing you're strengthening friendships and/or building your self esteem, again, is it the golf doing that? Or is it your commitment to bettering yourself and laying a solid foundation to build on?
I feel it's no different with CDing. Simply putting forward the appearance that you wish to have is not inherently right or wrong, but what are one's motives? What impact is it having outside of its own circle?
Measure by these, says I.
@melodeescarlet Hi Melodee, many of the girls said these that there should be third option for neither. Yes you're right it is just one activity which we can do irrespective of what other might think. We are doing these for ourselves. And as you said we are not doing any wrong in crossdressing as it is just putting forward the appearance that we wish to have .
Thankyou dear ♥️
@shreyushah I've been doing this a very long time. When I was young I went through all the doubt accompanied by the guilt and fear of discovery. I thought it was wrong at the time because I didn't understand myself. Did the Purge/Regret/Buy thing a few times and now the biggest regret is all the pretty things I just threw away because I pretty much hated myself.
Now I believe all this is genetic and is something I'm supposed to BE. It's not something I do, it's not a hobby, a game or anything like that. I'm just expressing Me!
In this context it's not Right or Wrong, it just Is. But I voted Right.
@cherylt Hi Cheryl,
Thankyou for your vote darling. So sad to hear that you threw away thode things, i can feel the pain as I've also deleted some of the Shreya's Pics and now i regret it.
@shreyushah OMG I had forgotten about all the pics I lost in those purges! Now I'm a bit sad as I remember them and wish I had at least kept those for memories. When I came out to my wife I began taking them again and have all for the last 20 years. Would have been wonderful to have the entire scrapbook.
Biggest regret. More so than those lovely clothes.
@cherylt Hi cheryl, I'm sorry if I've made you sad. Even one done the same mistake. Because of that mistake i still regret my decision of deleting the pics. Btw let's focus on the future. Hope for the best girl. ♥️
@shreyushah No, you didn't make me sad. It was remembering all the photo sessions, the preparation, the posing and how some of them came out so well.
Funny, when my wife discovered me it was through one of the pictures. I kept it in my wallet as I thought it came out so well. She found it and was unusually quiet for a few days. After pestering her what was wrong she asked "who is she?". I had no idea what she was talking about until she said "the girl in the photo, who is she?" Then she said "the one in your wallet". I got the photo and showed her again to be sure and she kept looking at it then me and saying "who is she". When I said it was me she didn't believe me.
Wish I still had that photo.
@cherylt ohhhh, that's great cheryl. Wow seems like your wife love you so so much. That's really a good thing.
@cherylt so agree with your comment. I am developing more and more self acceptance, and it feels wonderful
@cherylt so agree with your comment. I am developing more and more self acceptance, and it feels wonderful
@shreyushah hi hon for me personally I have done that many times over the last 40 years. And I think it finally came down to I like it. I want it. I desire it and I don’t care anymore. What somebody thinks. This is my life and I want to enjoy it the way I want to
@michellebbb Hi michelle, thats really great. even I'm like recently. It doesn't matter what other people think i should wear what makes me feel pretty and comfy.
@shreyushah If crossing dressing makes you feel happy then its definitely right and not wrong. Just enjoy I do when the opportunity arises xx StephanieB
@stephaniec63 Definitely , I'm loving it and it's making more than happier ever. Thankyou dear girl. ♥️
@shreyushah It’s not a question of right or wrong. It’s a question of how long will it take you to accept who you are, and, a question of how long it will take for society to accept individual gender expression.
@jillleanne Hi Jill, actually you're right. I think it's more about how long will it take society to accept it.
@shreyushah Regardless of what others might share, I would be so incredibly lost and disappointed if I could not dress and let my inner female express herself in a meaningful way.
@queenmp Yes Marry, even i feel the same. Way sometimes. But the place where I'm living is not so acceptable for crossdressers.
@shreyushah thank you for asking. I’ve been down that same road, feeling guilty and ashamed after, purging photos, clothes , jewelry. I have to be honest. I’ve seen two different therapists (one for over 10 yrs), and a couples therapist where she knew but my wife didn’t ( for 2+ yrs), that I still see when these “events occur”. For me, and it’s just my situation, the cross dressing always happens when some combination of the following occur : my mother tries to reinsert herself in my life (she loves me yes, but is very manipulative, a narcissist and emotionally and verbally abusive - so we are estranged, and I’ve tried to stop our relationship completely and she always weasels her way back in), my inability to openly tell my wife about something bothering me (infrequent sex, as my sex drive is much higher and I’m much more open to exploration in bed and she’s plain Jane) something she’s unknowingly done), stress at work like having to travel, and my wife leaving town for some period. Once one or two of these things happen, I find I cannot open up w my wife about my frustrations, as subconsciously I equated negative emotions (anger, dislike, saying no) with “bad” when I was a child as I associated all those kinds of emotions with the actions of my inappropriate mother. Subconsciously I don’t want to be like her, so I suppress these emotions until I explode w crossdressing. Then I feel the guilt. Does anyone else go through this kind of ‘cycle’? Recently I went 2-3 yrs w no cross dressing, and then the confluence of a work trip followed by my wife having to be out of town for a week caused a GIANT blossoming of xdressing!! I love my wife and she is my best friend but I still hold back on my emotions, and that is the source of the fracture between us that allows xdressing to come out. The pattern has repeated multiple times, so it’s not “phsyciatric mumbo jumbo”. With all my love to you and the other girls out there!
@longlegsvb1 Hi Billie,
Thankyou so much dear for explaining in deep. Yes i go through the same cycle every now and then. Now I'm feeling like i should see a psychiatrist. Hope you'll soon be able to to tell your wife about your crossdressing and hope she will understand and support you.
Love ♥️
@shreyushah definitely see a counselor - there’s a lot to ‘unpack’ and mine said we each have a different situation - so it is NOT one size fits all.
can I add this - my dad was a xdresser or at least into tranny mags and nylons as I found them along w his Penthouse magazines once - that threw me for a loop as a boy of 12-13. I didn’t even know what trans females and xdressing was until my dad threw me for that loop. This forum is first time I’ve ever told anyone other than my counselors. Not my wife, no one. It was both curious, exotic, sexually stimulating and humiliating all at once.. I’ve thought about starting w that w my wife and coming back to her w my situation later —- or if she asks. A part of me wants to share it w her and a part of me doesn’t want to force her to then have ‘the secret’ and be burdened like I am..have been all these years.
@longlegsvb1 Yes dear, i will definitely visit a counselor. Thankyou for your opinion. And also thankyou for sharing something that you've never shared with anyone yet.
Love ♥️
@shreyushah
This nothing new in crossdressing, Many crossdressers and trans girls fight this! commonly referred to as purging! Throw out all the girl clothes, delete all the pictures, and swear they're never do it again! Often due to guilt or shame due to a conflict with a wife or girlfriend after coming out or getting caught. But then the urge returns your inner girl demands to be let out again! You start dressing again, buying clothes, and taking pictures again. I've heard that some CDs and trans go thru this several times before they finally accept that they need to embrace their inner woman and let her out every now and then.
You can choose not to crossdress, but you cannot choose not to be a crossdresser! I think though it's becoming more and more accepted though.
Hope this helps.
Have I ever purged? well, I did stop for many years, I don't remember that I had a lot to throw out at the time, but I also wasn't dressing nearly as fully back then as I do now!
M.
@queenofdiamonds1960 hi michelle,
Yes I've gone through it many times. Even I've purged my photos many times. But suddenly out of nowhere Shreya demands to come in life again and I've to do it. I've to wear saree that time. I feel like I've left with no choice but to wear a saree. Also I've not yet told anything about my crossdresing to my girlfriend. I don't know how would she react. I don't know if she will stay with me or she will leave me . Anyways thankyou darling for the beautiful opinion.
Love ♥️
@shreyushah If it feels right to you, do it and enjoy. If not, don't.
I've been dressing all my life. At 17, I was able to dress fully femme and go out. Over the next several years, I bought lots of clothes, wore always at home and went out nearly every day or evening. I was basically living en femme.
But there was many times when going somewhere or doing something didn't feel right. I didn't do it.
@pattyphose i feel very much goods doing these. But the society won't allow so that's the issue here.
@shreyushah I think you have to decide how much you want to do it and how important it is to you. I enjoy dressing at home and do it everyday. But I know, to get the best experience and greatest thrill, I need to go out in public, or at the very least, go outdoors. You seem to recognize that too.
Be aware of where you are going and when. Check out a place and see who's around before you go en femme. If you feel it could be unsafe, stay away. There's been times I've driven to a place, all ready to get out of the car and have a great femme experience, but something didn't look or feel right. I waited until my nerve improved, or left if it didn't feel right about things.
@pattyphose Hi Petty, yes you're right and i know my limitations as a Shreya. There have been many situations where i didn't felt like doing something while en femme and didn't do that. So while being Shreya i stay very careful about the surroundings . Also people here in India are not supportive to cd or tg. So i must stay very careful if i ever go out as Shreya.
@shreyushah Like any other situation, I think you have to evaluate it based on your level of comfort. Putting being femme aside for now, would you walk through a neighborhood you didn't think was safe? Would you go into a place where the crowd made you feel uncomfortable? This is street smarts. You can and should apply that to other situations, like going to a place when femme.
@shreyushah Evaluate it like any other situation where you might be going where you may not feel welcome or feel threatened. Common sense and street smarts. If in doubt, don't go.
@pattyphose yes definitely dear. Will evaluate. I won't go to the places which are not safe. Thankyou darling
@shreyushah it is not wrong to feel comfortable being you. If you want to crossdress then just do it. Don't be afraid. I dress up and take pics and save them. Some times I don't dress up. You can check out some of my pic's under my profile.
@alanmann Definately Elana, i think we should do whatever makes us feel pretty and comfy
@shreyushah I also voted right , I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing what you want to wear. I only wish that it was more out in the open and not hidden so much because that would make it so much easier for wives like me or partners to accept because we wouldn't have all these secrets to hide when we find out and have the trust issues that go with this disclosure of what's been there all along ❤️
@bellaz76 Hi, yes i appreciate that you accept but sometimes maybe our partner won't accept. My girlfriend may not accept my female side. I don't know how to talk about these thing with her. Sometimes i think she will accept because she loves but but sometimes i think she won't, she might leave me after knowing these. One day i sent her my pics in which I've edited some girly sticker from Snapchat on my image and she told to stop it. That day i felt like she don't like these and she will be upset if I'll do these but one another day she sent me my own pic she has edited (though it was very bad editing) in which she made me wear saree. I was laughing badly 🤣🤣. I asked her what is she to these she answered you're my wife 🤣. But that topic ended there. I'm not yet clear will she accept or not.
@shreyushah it's a question that only she could answer, id never have thought I'd accept the way I have , until faced with it I'm sure no one could guess how it might go . I hope that if you do ever tell her it goes well 🙏❤️
@shreyushah Don't let the world tell you anything that forces you to hide. I think it's a great way to explore parts of yourself you never new existed. While there's still alot of hate and ignorance in this world, there's also alot of love and support!
@lucinalight Yes Armani. You're right. There are some sort of people who support. But they are very little in amount.
@shreyushah Shreya, I agree with Ellie, it doesn’t hurt anyone and, for me at least, it is a big part of who I am. It feels right and it destresses me. It is only social norms that pressure us into thinking it’s not ok to crossdress. So don’t feel bad, embrace the joy of crossdressing
Plus, you look amazing, such beauty cannot be wrong.
Hugs
Christine
@christineth Hi Christine,
First of thankyou so much for complement. I like it whenever someone appreciate my looks en femm. yes you're right if I'm not hurting anyone than it's definitely not wrong.
Thankyou darling
Love ❤️
Shreya I am with the others that it is right.
In the Indian culture you are possibly aware of 'Hijra' or 'Arivani' who are males dressed and living as women, in some areas are revered, often being asked to bless weddings.
You are in a very good place to explore your femininity with support and advice from many girls.
I hope you have a lovely time and unpick your confusions.
@ab123 yes I'm very much aware about it but also in India if someone joins the hijra community they have no option to comeback to other side of the community. You've to permanently stay there and sometimes they are forced to beg for there income. The life in that community is not at all easy. Better is we crossdress secretly here or else if we have better job here where people are accepting us a crossdresser or tg. But I've never seen any of the corporate office suporting it so it's still a challenge
Hello Shreya,
I believe that most of us go through having these feelings, I purged so many different times until I realized that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. Now, I may go several months without dressing, but all of my things stayed neatly stored.
Definitely, there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to feel feminine and wanting to wear all of those wonderful dresses, and especially the soft under garments.
Enjoy your life, nothing is wrong with you.
@carlafirst11 Hi Carla, thankyou for your kind words. Yes now i have understood that there is nothing wrong in wearing feminine clothes. I'm not hurting anyone by doing these so. Thankyou dear
I think most of us felt this way many times in our lives, please don't beat yourself up over what others may think of what you do in your own home or wherever you do you. What we do doesn't hurt anyone and besides the earlier in life we accept ourselves the better the pictures are, take it from me I'm old___er.
Lacy
@rholtman96 Hi Lacy, thankyou for your advice Girl. Yes definitely I've understood now that there is nothing wrong in wearing a saree. I mean any girly clothing. And I've accepted myself as a crossdresser. Thankyou for your kinds words 😍♥️
I'm going to go off the board and say "C: Neither right nor wrong"... Having to choose right and wrong implies some sort of moral value judgement. When you come down to it, it is just fabric. Does a piece of cotton have an inherent moral value? The judgement/moral value is a construction of societal collective norms. Apologies for getting a little more philosophical than you were probably wanting, but this is something of which I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
For me, it comes down to a couple of things:
1) Does a particular thing injure or cause harm to anyone?
2) Is there a legitimate reason for a particular societal value judgement?
As I've gotten older, I've come to find that I frequently don't care to follow what "society" decides is "acceptable". That is often very narrow and, often, a moving target. I'm trying to make a point of doing my own thing and letting "society" go hump itself.
@ronp Hi ron, yes you're right. It was more philosophical answer but the things which you've explained are correct. Why should i limit myself for others. I'm definitely doing these.
Such a simple, yet difficult question. I think we all struggle with this. I have finally accepted that it is “right” for me. It took me a long time to realize that the standard has been set by society and is based on nothing. Just because others say it’s wrong doesn’t mean it to be true. I choose to stay mostly hidden because the possibility of fallout from society, but that doesn’t make me feeling pretty wrong. I am getting very close to finally accepting myself after 40 plus years. It is a lifelong journey and I wish you all the luck in finding self-acceptance sooner than later. I wasted so many of the “good years”. Now I’m just a wrinkly lady with a dad bod. I wish I had photos of 20 year old me in some of the sexy things I wore back then. Good luck love, it is not easy, but it is FUN!
@dannydior301 Hi Danni, yes now I've understood that we should do whatever make us feel good. We should not think about others.
Thankyou for your kind words.
Danni, I agree with you. What can be wrong with an activity that doesn’t harm anyone and can bring a lot of joy to your life? I no longer have a spouse that might not like it. I live fairly far away from family members who don’t know my fem side. I dress mainly at home alone with the occasional foray into public places. It can be a real thrill if you stay away from sketchy places.
Kerri
@kerrismith yes you're right, we are doing for ourself and not for others. We should not think about others much. Just we should be little cautious.
I voted 'Right', but then I would, I'm a cross-dresser; of course the question is aimed at this forum therefore aimed at cross-dressers. If you take the question and apply it to the population in general, then you'd get a very different picture, indeed, I think most people would answer 'Wrong'. It's the way of the world.
@rebeccabaxter That's the most genuine answer i think. If i would have asked it on quora or reddit the result must be different. But then i wanted to ask like minded people what they about it so i choose these website. Anyways thankyou girl for your response.
I voted right, but it might not be right in certain locations. My work used to take me to India and I can understand that it is more difficult to crossdress and many in your country would not understand your need to crossdress and would think it "wrong". Also India is a big diverse country and what may be right in Mumbai would be considered wrong in Kolkata.
@randialex Hi Randi, yes you're right.India has very diverse culture. But still the crosddressing is not acceptable in India yet. still i think if I'm not hurting anyone there is nothing wrong in doing it. I'm just wearing my comfort.
I agree with Ron (@ronp) in that it is neither right or wrong on a moral basis. But society still believes in the binary nature, so they feel it is wrong. This leads us to feel guilty because we are social creatures and seek acceptance from others.
When we still rely on others, we are reluctant to let this side out. This is more so in socially unaccepting cultures. But when we get older, and society gets more accepting (the younger generation tends to be more accepting), we start to not rely on others as much (for example, not needing employment) and care less what other people think.
@alison-anderson Yaa Alison, that's really true. It's all about what the society is accepting. We think about society and forget about our own need. I've seen that people will talk about anything for 4 days and after that they will forgot. No one talk about it. So we should do whatever we feel good unless it's not harming anyone.
Wow such a wonderful respone from all the girls out there. I can't belive that I've got so many answers and so many opinions from all the girls. Thankyou all for replying .
Lots of love ❤️
Crossdressing is right. Hate and discrimination are wrong. As simple as that.
So there's no reason to feel bad about dressing.
Gisela
One hundred percent it's right . Why shouldn't it be ? As Gisela so rightly says there is no reason to feel bad about dressing. For me it's the most natural feeling in the world, it's only my nerves that stops me being fully dressed all the time , I've put an article on the forum In the closet about my experience here in Maroc
I've been dressing since I was 12.....55 years ago , i left my chrysalis a long time ago ,from that day as Popeye said ' I am what I am " and no book , scripture,macho man bs or other claptrap is going to stop me being who I am inside or out . I do understand that people have doubts and I have friends, not on this site ,who I have sat with and listen to their fears . And nothing cheers me more when they call me to ask if I want to go shopping with them !
I'm no cafeteria dresser , Ive adhered to my principles since that rebirth in 1970 , I've witnessed such change and hopefully as, Gisela also says about discrimination, those days of hostility are ebbing away. I'm sorry if this sounds like a bit of a rant but the question is it right , yes and it's about rights which sadly still don't apply in many places . I bought a very pretty blouse yesterday and as a act of defiance might wear it with a tiny bit of bra strap showing ! Thanks for (hopefully) reading xx
@collettexx Hi Colette, first of all thankyou for reply . Yes I'm definitely reading. Because all the girl here have put there time and efforts here to support me so there is no point of not reading any suggestions. Secondly yes you're right we should wear whatever we feel right and also you've long experience so I'm fully convinced 🤗. Also i am waiting for your picture in new blouse and that bra starp 😍😍
@collettexx That's the point, girl. Go for it! As I wrote in my profile ". My need to wear feminine clothes is an intense feeling".
Gisela
I voted right. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing. I am saying it is right because to me it is obvious that it "completes" people. Perhaps a few didn't vote at all because they wanted a neither option. One could argue that air is neither good nor bad. Unless one is suffocating, then air is pretty damn good! And yes, an analogy is implied here. 😉
I am now wondering if there has ever been a unanimous poll on CDH?
@augustvaliant Yes , the neither option will be applicable for some people here. As I've already received many opinions in the favour of neither. Btw thanks for your opinion Girl.
♥️
Of course I have to vote for this being right! Though at one point perhaps I would have had to think about it more.
My life is so much better and more fulfilled since I've been able to be myself more often. Out there I certainly am, as I'm President of a local CD/Trans support and social group, plus I started doing drag a couple of years ago.
So yes I love this and what I am.
Amy
@amylove2dress Yes , at some point of time even i get negative thoughts about it. But still now I've made very clear in mind. It is what it is . There's nothing to worry about.
