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Poll results: Have you ever been recognized in public while dressed?
Voter(s): 111
Poll is closed Jan 10, 2025
No.  -  votes: 83 / 74.8%
83
74.8%
Yes.  -  votes: 28 / 25.2%
28
25.2%

Have you ever been recognized while out in public dressed?

43 Posts
29 Users
138 Reactions
685 Views
Posts: 1209
Lady
Topic starter
(@lauren114)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

A lot of folks have expressed that they are held back from going out while dressed due to concerns about being recognized.   The purpose of this poll is to gauge if the folks here have ever experienced this.   In addition to responding to the poll, it would be helpful for those indicating that they have been recognized to provide some information regarding the circumstances and how it impacted them.

I am fortunate in that it has never happened to me.   This fact has helped build my confidence and has allowed me to do many of my normal daily tasks as my authentic self.

Thanks to all who respond and I sincerely hope that the results of this poll help those who long to go out but are held back.

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42 Replies
9 Replies
(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1209

As indicated above, I have never been recognized while out as Lauren.  I will say that I am cautious and tend to avoid places where I believe there is the potential for recognition.  I also tend to dress to blend which helps me stay under the "radar".   As I have indicated in the past, I believe that most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't really see others.   To me, even if I was to run into someone I know, this would help me go unrecognized.  It also helps that I dress to blend which allows me to blend in with the other girls.

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Duchess
(@bbwmeganlynn)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     South jersey, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 31

@lauren114 I am very similar,I try and blend in.I don’t think I’m very passable but I sure try.

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(@queenofdiamonds1960)
Joined: 8 years ago

Estimable Member     Seattle, United States of America
Posts: 118

@bbwmeganlynn I just checked out your pictures and visually at least I'd say you're passable!

M. Smile Face Thumbs Up  

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@lauren114 

I don't think I was ever recognized when I was closeted or before I was out to many people.  I could be wrong.  Not that it matters.  I'm now out to everyone and get recognized often.  I voted yes. 

/LK

#nothingtohide

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(@Anonymous 100087)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 304

@lauren114 I have been going out for about 10 years. No one out there knows it's me. They just know Rachel.  Some easy give aways are tattoo you might have. I call them human license plates. People recommend tattoos you have. I don't have any. Sometimes I put on a fake one that can be removed when im not dressed. Another give away is your car. If you have a car or license plate that sticks out People will remember ir. But as soon as you walk away from your car. People won't know it's yours. No one has ever seen you dressed so how would they know it's you unless you told them. I have 1 car that I use 90% off the time dressed. You can also get color contacts for your eyes. I'm a very private person so I don't give my phone number out to anyone I that doesn't know I dress. I used email that is not connected to me in any way. If someone see me walking away from my house I turn around and now I'm just a visitor. Watch out where you have to show your license. If they know who you are not dressed they will know that you dress not. But most people don't care away. I got pulled over by cops, checked into hotels, gone to bars, ect. No one remembers you dressed. They don't care, they are just doing their job. So get out there and have fun. Wish I did it sooner. I meet and made alot of friends going out dressed. But very hard to find another cd that goes out dressed.

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(@tinytinkerbell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     SF Bay Area, California, United States of America
Posts: 205

@lauren114 My venturing out in the public days are long gone....time has NOT been good to this old gurl, but back in THE "good old days", my intentions were, "YES", to be noticed, but only as "a" women who fit right in with everyone else.  Never dressed to stick out like that "sore thumb", also tasteful and conservative, at least, on the OUTSIDE, but part of the thrill was always looking from the corner of my eyes and behind my sunglasses, trying to catch someone looking AT me...!!!  My most memorable moment, shared on other discussions here, was the time during the Holidays when a shopping shuttle driver saw me walking thru the parking lot of a mall and stopped to say...."would you like a ride to Macy's, Miss"...???  The words that would make your heart skip, if not "wet your panties"....hahaha...!!!  So, long story short...NOT recognized as Tiny...but able to pass in public and keep my secret, safe...!!!

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Lady
(@trichot)
Joined: 8 years ago

Eminent Member     Spokane, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 40
(@queenofdiamonds1960)
Joined: 8 years ago

Estimable Member     Seattle, United States of America
Posts: 118

@lauren114 I'm not sure how to answer this question. Recognized as a man (crossdresser) - Yes! Recognized as my male self or Identity No. But have never had the opportunity to put that to the test. I think I might be recognized by my voice as it's somewhat distinctive even in fem mode. But not by sight alone, - I don't even recognize myself when dressed.

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1209

@queenofdiamonds1960 My thinking when I put the poll out there is to see if people have been recognized as their male self not so much whether they have been clocked.  I believe that this is the biggest concern that keeps people from venturing out into the world.

Reply
Posts: 4016
Lady
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

To answer the question generally, yes, of course I get recognised as me, but you have to understand why.

The nitty-gritty answer is that I make it a bit difficult for observers to tell what I am doing, how I am dressing. This is why I dress androgynously using women's fashions all of the time. There is no need to switch crossdressing on or off. This is me 24/7.

The only times that I have been clocked is when I make a mistake. Getting spotted by a drunk on a bus who saw my Mary Jane shoes and would just not let go of it. Not getting gloves on quickly enough, to cover my bold nail polish.

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Posts: 1078
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

About 1½ years ago I told my sister about my dressing. In doing so, I simply showed her a photo of me dolled up in my living room. This woman that had grown up with me and known me for over 5 decades took at least 10-15 seconds to realize that the person in the photo was her brother...and even then I think the clue was my living room. LOL

I've been seen point blank by friends I've known for over 5 years on two separate occasions and neither even contemplated it was me. One I'm certain of because my GF and I were going to dinner with him and some others and, as we were walking to the restaurant, he asked her if I (guy-me) was coming. My GF jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point me out (dolled up) and he did a triple take.

The other couple walked past me in a dept store and while I'm sure they saw the tall redhead, I'm pretty confident they never suspected it was me. I could be wrong, but if my own sister didn't, I highly doubt they did.

However, I add here - so what if they did? If they went home and said to each other, "OMG did you see him dressed up?!" and giggled or didn't, then their reaction to me is about them, not me. I went on about my business at the mall.

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Posts: 517
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Twice, first time while enjoying a wonderful Sherri afternoon, some one came to the door to drop something off for my wife, I quickly either covered what I could or removed and answered the door. The person looked quite confused, I then remembered makeup, totally busted. Second time was in a store and unknown to me was someone I'd work with before and was there working the cash register, busted again, nothing was said and I still see him a casually, but nothing has ever come of it.

The first time really shook me up, what if she confronted my wife, told every one she knew, but nothing came of it and I've never seen her again.

Sherri

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2 Replies
(@queenofdiamonds1960)
Joined: 8 years ago

Estimable Member     Seattle, United States of America
Posts: 118

@blondsherri The 1st time, I have to wonder... if you hadn't tried to cover and remove fem items and just answered the door as Sherri and acted normal if you'd recognized!

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Joined: 7 years ago

Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 517

@queenofdiamonds1960 Good question Michelle but I think that as startled as I was I would not have been able to pull it off.

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Posts: 3445
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

My answer is no but have been recognised as Angela many times by friends and colleagues when I have been out, regardless if they knew me before. 

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Posts: 314
Duchess
(@elguapo)
Reputable Member     The Villages, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I voted 'no' although I may have been recognized and just don't know it. Two experiences; 

First - last summer I went to a local outdoor music event. Immediately upon arriving I saw from a short distance away one of my golf buddies. He has the reputation of being a player so I sensed he was roaming the crowd looking for something or someone. We made eye contact, I smiled and kept on walking. Later I saw him again looking at me with that 'I think I know her but can't place her'' look in his eye. Neither of us have ever mentioned the experience. I don't know if he recognized me or not.

Several years ago - during the days when you would first go into a gas station and deposit cash, pump gas, then return for your change - I was in male mode and went into to my usual gas station attended by the usual gal. She said "has anyone ever told you that you look like Bob Newhart?" Yes, many times. I replied "who do I look like when I am in lady clothes?" "IS THAT YOU!!! I had no idea." Okay, so I outed myself, but it made me feel pretty good that she didn't recognize me.

 

  

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1019

@elguapo Good one Elaine. I love it when girls make mirth and merriment out of this hobby of ours. It’s just not that serious IMHO🥰

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Posts: 1838
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

I don't think so, not that anyone has passed comment to me. I only tend to go out well away from home, though I do drive en-femme. I do sometimes worry about someone telling me they've seen a red-haired girl driving my car.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1019

@annaredhead Be ready with the “oh yeah, she’s my fraternal twin” comment AR🥰

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Posts: 1019
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

Posted by: @melodeescarlet

One I'm certain of because my GF and I were going to dinner with him and some others and, as we were walking to the restaurant, he asked her if I (guy-me) was coming. My GF jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point me out (dolled up) and he did a triple take.

Love it, can just picture your GF doing that! Perfect response by her🤣

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Posts: 1797
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I have never been recognized while out and I'm out a lot living 24/7. I have walked by people who have known me for 30+ yrs. and not been recognized. But being out to everyone means there are a lot of people who now know me as Fiona.

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Posts: 105
 Dee
Baroness Annual
(@dianna)
Estimable Member     Alabama, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I had a GREAT laugh one time while out at dinner with my wife, while I was presenting as Dee. A patient of mine walked up to us at dinner at Applebees, not in our home town. Tom, a quite outspoken member of our gay community leaned in to my ear and said, “Doc, I didn’t know that you were family!” I was a little confused, and replied, “No, Tom, I’m not family.” He replied, “Doc, don’t look now, but you’re a lesbian!” It took about 10 milliseconds, and all 3 of us broke out in uncontrollable laughter! Several booths around us started laughing too!

I had just never thought of myself in such a manner. Sometimes we just never recognize the obvious. Tom has been a dear friend and patient for 24 years. He’s an even more dear friend now!

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

My boss's boss, who lives sort-of on the same street as me, has stopped and talked to me while I was out walking around my block.

I say "sort of on the same street" because many years ago, the two streets didn't connect, but there was a dog-leg turn to get from one to the other. At some point the two streets were made to cross, but they retained their old different names.

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Posts: 1118
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

I answered no, but I'm not really sure. I had a recent experience. Two months ago I was dressed for a virtual meeting and after that I was wandering around my house and even went out to the front door for a short while. The next day a neighbor told me that he had seen an unknown woman at my house, but since he had seen my car in the garage, he wasn't worried. I made up that she was one of my cousins. Then he mentioned that we looked familiar, but not too familiar. I had a hard time holding back my laughter. In fact, the neighboring houses are far enough away that visibility is not that great, and it was a dark night. That is why I ventured out. The important thing is that he hasn't said anything else since then. I think the gossip went to waste.

Gisela

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1019

@firefly This helps reinforce my view that those “nosy neighbors” are always watching. Which can be good and bad🥰

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Posts: 1103
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Noble Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I haven't been recognized. I have run into people I know when wearing flats with guy clothes, but those people were distracted and didn't seem to notice my feminine shoes. 

I have seen and avoided a few people several times. So close calls.

Scarier has been the times I contemplated going out dressed, changed my mind last minute, and ran into someone I know. I felt relief not getting caught. But also fear that the risk is real.

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1019

@lea-jhene The risk is always there - but I think for some of us that’s the point. Gets the adrenaline flowing, which is good for our hearts and overall health and well-being.🥰

For some of us gals we just cannot resist upsetting our perfect little apple cart. A little drama sometimes can be good for the system!

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1103

@gracepal Well said!

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Posts: 827
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Before I was fully out and open about my "hobby", I was walking the dog one evening. It was dark and raining. I was waiting at a set of traffic lights to cross a very busy road. The lights turned red, and cars started to queue. The little green man came on and I started to cross. I heard a car horn go toot toot, but Ignored it and carried on. My dog and  walked through the two small parks that is our usual route and headed home. We got home soaking wet. I was in Cerys mode. Short skirt, thick black tights, knee length boots, a jumper and a long raincoat and a hat. A tried and trusted walking the dog in the rain outfit.

At home I took off my wet coat, hung it up, hung up my hat, and towel dried the dog.

I sat down and looked at my phone. A text message "Don't say hello then, you bar steward 🙂 " The message was from an old work friend of mine. She is a wonderful person. We were very close until she moved a few miles away (She used to live 1/2 a mile away).

I replied asking where she saw me. She replied it was when I was crossing the road with the dog. She recognised the dog. She then thought it was my wife walking him, but noticed that it wasn't her.... Then it clicked. 🙂

It was then that I decided to phone her and tell her about Cerys. I think she was the 5th or 6th person I had told. Very few knew of my secret back then. 

She was fine and supportive. I sent her a few pics. And all was good. 

Technically, I wasn't recognised.... My dog was!!!! 🙂

Cerys

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Posts: 485
Lady
(@cherylt)
Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

I've never been recognized by anyone who knows me. Of course I look so different it would take a lot to do so. The closest would be when out with my wife and that someone would see her then look for me. We have an arrangement that when out if I hear a voice I know I just move away. That way if they see my wife and talk to her they might ask where I am and she'll just say "around somewhere". 

We began by not going anywhere close to home to minimize the possibility. Over the years that's all changed and at this point we go everywhere. If someone does recognize me then Oh Well. If they are a friend and this changes things then they weren't a friend to begin with. At my age I don't need phonies in my life.

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