Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
A lot of folks have expressed that they are held back from going out while dressed due to concerns about being recognized. The purpose of this poll is to gauge if the folks here have ever experienced this. In addition to responding to the poll, it would be helpful for those indicating that they have been recognized to provide some information regarding the circumstances and how it impacted them.
I am fortunate in that it has never happened to me. This fact has helped build my confidence and has allowed me to do many of my normal daily tasks as my authentic self.
Thanks to all who respond and I sincerely hope that the results of this poll help those who long to go out but are held back.
To answer the question generally, yes, of course I get recognised as me, but you have to understand why.
The nitty-gritty answer is that I make it a bit difficult for observers to tell what I am doing, how I am dressing. This is why I dress androgynously using women's fashions all of the time. There is no need to switch crossdressing on or off. This is me 24/7.
The only times that I have been clocked is when I make a mistake. Getting spotted by a drunk on a bus who saw my Mary Jane shoes and would just not let go of it. Not getting gloves on quickly enough, to cover my bold nail polish.
About 1½ years ago I told my sister about my dressing. In doing so, I simply showed her a photo of me dolled up in my living room. This woman that had grown up with me and known me for over 5 decades took at least 10-15 seconds to realize that the person in the photo was her brother...and even then I think the clue was my living room. LOL
I've been seen point blank by friends I've known for over 5 years on two separate occasions and neither even contemplated it was me. One I'm certain of because my GF and I were going to dinner with him and some others and, as we were walking to the restaurant, he asked her if I (guy-me) was coming. My GF jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point me out (dolled up) and he did a triple take.
The other couple walked past me in a dept store and while I'm sure they saw the tall redhead, I'm pretty confident they never suspected it was me. I could be wrong, but if my own sister didn't, I highly doubt they did.
However, I add here - so what if they did? If they went home and said to each other, "OMG did you see him dressed up?!" and giggled or didn't, then their reaction to me is about them, not me. I went on about my business at the mall.
Twice, first time while enjoying a wonderful Sherri afternoon, some one came to the door to drop something off for my wife, I quickly either covered what I could or removed and answered the door. The person looked quite confused, I then remembered makeup, totally busted. Second time was in a store and unknown to me was someone I'd work with before and was there working the cash register, busted again, nothing was said and I still see him a casually, but nothing has ever come of it.
The first time really shook me up, what if she confronted my wife, told every one she knew, but nothing came of it and I've never seen her again.
Sherri
My answer is no but have been recognised as Angela many times by friends and colleagues when I have been out, regardless if they knew me before.
I voted 'no' although I may have been recognized and just don't know it. Two experiences;
First - last summer I went to a local outdoor music event. Immediately upon arriving I saw from a short distance away one of my golf buddies. He has the reputation of being a player so I sensed he was roaming the crowd looking for something or someone. We made eye contact, I smiled and kept on walking. Later I saw him again looking at me with that 'I think I know her but can't place her'' look in his eye. Neither of us have ever mentioned the experience. I don't know if he recognized me or not.
Several years ago - during the days when you would first go into a gas station and deposit cash, pump gas, then return for your change - I was in male mode and went into to my usual gas station attended by the usual gal. She said "has anyone ever told you that you look like Bob Newhart?" Yes, many times. I replied "who do I look like when I am in lady clothes?" "IS THAT YOU!!! I had no idea." Okay, so I outed myself, but it made me feel pretty good that she didn't recognize me.
I don't think so, not that anyone has passed comment to me. I only tend to go out well away from home, though I do drive en-femme. I do sometimes worry about someone telling me they've seen a red-haired girl driving my car.
One I'm certain of because my GF and I were going to dinner with him and some others and, as we were walking to the restaurant, he asked her if I (guy-me) was coming. My GF jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point me out (dolled up) and he did a triple take.
Love it, can just picture your GF doing that! Perfect response by her🤣
I have never been recognized while out and I'm out a lot living 24/7. I have walked by people who have known me for 30+ yrs. and not been recognized. But being out to everyone means there are a lot of people who now know me as Fiona.
I had a GREAT laugh one time while out at dinner with my wife, while I was presenting as Dee. A patient of mine walked up to us at dinner at Applebees, not in our home town. Tom, a quite outspoken member of our gay community leaned in to my ear and said, “Doc, I didn’t know that you were family!” I was a little confused, and replied, “No, Tom, I’m not family.” He replied, “Doc, don’t look now, but you’re a lesbian!” It took about 10 milliseconds, and all 3 of us broke out in uncontrollable laughter! Several booths around us started laughing too!
I had just never thought of myself in such a manner. Sometimes we just never recognize the obvious. Tom has been a dear friend and patient for 24 years. He’s an even more dear friend now!
My boss's boss, who lives sort-of on the same street as me, has stopped and talked to me while I was out walking around my block.
I say "sort of on the same street" because many years ago, the two streets didn't connect, but there was a dog-leg turn to get from one to the other. At some point the two streets were made to cross, but they retained their old different names.
I answered no, but I'm not really sure. I had a recent experience. Two months ago I was dressed for a virtual meeting and after that I was wandering around my house and even went out to the front door for a short while. The next day a neighbor told me that he had seen an unknown woman at my house, but since he had seen my car in the garage, he wasn't worried. I made up that she was one of my cousins. Then he mentioned that we looked familiar, but not too familiar. I had a hard time holding back my laughter. In fact, the neighboring houses are far enough away that visibility is not that great, and it was a dark night. That is why I ventured out. The important thing is that he hasn't said anything else since then. I think the gossip went to waste.
Gisela
I haven't been recognized. I have run into people I know when wearing flats with guy clothes, but those people were distracted and didn't seem to notice my feminine shoes.
I have seen and avoided a few people several times. So close calls.
Scarier has been the times I contemplated going out dressed, changed my mind last minute, and ran into someone I know. I felt relief not getting caught. But also fear that the risk is real.
Before I was fully out and open about my "hobby", I was walking the dog one evening. It was dark and raining. I was waiting at a set of traffic lights to cross a very busy road. The lights turned red, and cars started to queue. The little green man came on and I started to cross. I heard a car horn go toot toot, but Ignored it and carried on. My dog and walked through the two small parks that is our usual route and headed home. We got home soaking wet. I was in Cerys mode. Short skirt, thick black tights, knee length boots, a jumper and a long raincoat and a hat. A tried and trusted walking the dog in the rain outfit.
At home I took off my wet coat, hung it up, hung up my hat, and towel dried the dog.
I sat down and looked at my phone. A text message "Don't say hello then, you bar steward 🙂 " The message was from an old work friend of mine. She is a wonderful person. We were very close until she moved a few miles away (She used to live 1/2 a mile away).
I replied asking where she saw me. She replied it was when I was crossing the road with the dog. She recognised the dog. She then thought it was my wife walking him, but noticed that it wasn't her.... Then it clicked. 🙂
It was then that I decided to phone her and tell her about Cerys. I think she was the 5th or 6th person I had told. Very few knew of my secret back then.
She was fine and supportive. I sent her a few pics. And all was good.
Technically, I wasn't recognised.... My dog was!!!! 🙂
Cerys
I've never been recognized by anyone who knows me. Of course I look so different it would take a lot to do so. The closest would be when out with my wife and that someone would see her then look for me. We have an arrangement that when out if I hear a voice I know I just move away. That way if they see my wife and talk to her they might ask where I am and she'll just say "around somewhere".
We began by not going anywhere close to home to minimize the possibility. Over the years that's all changed and at this point we go everywhere. If someone does recognize me then Oh Well. If they are a friend and this changes things then they weren't a friend to begin with. At my age I don't need phonies in my life.