Homophobic relative or friend

Yes, unfortunately some friends that mainly just talk BS or crack insulting jokes. They would definitely not be friends if they knew. But only one of them would be a problem as hes married to my wifes best friend. Extended family, I have several. My little brother is gay and I have a trans female cousin. Both of them exposed true colors when they came out. We dont see those folks much, if at all anymore. But for me, the hardest one is that my dad is partially on this anti-trans band wagon. He raised me to judge people by their actions not what ever label is put on him. Hes been watching to much tv. When it comes up I can usually get him back to understanding that they are people and free to exist just like anyone. Rather you like it or not. However, I am very hopeful that those attitudes are slowly going away.

I'm out to most of the people that know me.  I expected to lose a few of them.  Surprisingly that hasn't happened....or at least there weren't any outwardly negative reactions.  But I'm not hearing from one or two as much, and I think I'm being ghosted to an extent.  Of the remaining people that don't know, many of them are openly transphobic.  I expect they will react badly.  Whatever.  It's their problem.

I'm not sure how I would feel if I had a transphobic close relative.  I'm going to live my life regardless of what they think.  I'd hope they'd come around to see I'm the same person they've always known.  All that's changed is my appearance and happier disposition.

I wouldn't move to any place where there is anti-trans legislation.

/EA

Girl, let me tell you…

I thought I was leaving Brazil for Canada because I wanted better life conditions for myself and my family. Little did I know that I was just running away from a homophobic family.

I grew up hearing “are you a man or a sack of potatoes?” from molester daddy, “doing this is gay” from mommy, and “guys who are friends with girls are gay” from stepdaddy. I was clearly a gay sack of potatoes. My girlfriends were the only people I could confide in, and even though I did have many “male” interests, my manner was quite female — something I spent decades “correcting”. Even my wife is uncomfortable with the idea of me “losing my manhood” (in the literal sense, not my “parts”) “now” that I’m a crossdresser.

At the end of the day, leaving my country and my family was the only way I could breathe in enough air to actually see what I’m looking at when I look in the mirror.

So yes, most everyone in my family is homophobic, and that’s only partially their fault because it’s how we’re wired. I’m actually surprised they didn’t have much to say when I came out as non-binary. I have internalized queerphobia myself, and have to fight it tooth and nail whenever the guilt and shame creep back in.

one of my closest friends is homophobic the only reason

i haven't called him out is his wife and my wife are also

very close friends.

I want to ask him if one of his kids was gay or trans would he disown them?

I have 4 brothers and as I mentioned in a post a couple months back we were all getting together at my nieces house on a Sunday. I was working my Torrid job that day, I could have gotten the day off work, but purposely didn't, I was in full Cassie mode. I stopped in before I went to work and again after work and had good conversation with almost everyone, brothers,spouses, nieces and nephews. My presentation was not even talked about, just like everything was normal. One brother was kind of distant though, when I asked his wife latter she said that is his way of dealing with some things. If he ignores it, it does not exist.
Then there is my son who know I CD, but doesn't want to see or talk about it.

. Cassie

That is a tough place to be in.  Im sure they are decent people otherwise or you wouldnt be friends with them.  Those gut turning moments are so akward.  Hope they come to an understanding

If you ask that question, leave it open ended. By that I mean don’t suggest any possible answers. I think you will get a truer response that way.

Unfortunately, I must say yes to three relatives, it hurts and it may always remain that way. My daughter and my son won't accept me as a woman - period, end of discussion! My daughter isn't even talking to me, my son will text. I cannot see them or the grand kids unless I come as a man. My younger brother just says it's too weird but I never see him anyway.

As for friends, well, let me tell you how fast you find out just who your true friends are, announce you are transgender and see how fast they vanish! The handful that remain are truly those who matter.

I do have close friends who have remained, some I've known for 35 years or more. remaining relatives are my little brother and his wife, their kids, my sister and her kids. My sister in law welcomed her new sister into the family, my sister already refers to me as her big sister and all the kids involved call me Auntie Lauren.

I miss my two kids but will have to live with that and hope they can eventually wrap their heads around the fact I am, and always have been, a trans woman.

Hugs girls,

Ms. Lauren M

Your poll needed an "I don't know" because... I don't know.

I rarely get to visit my very small family, so the topic never came up.

Not exactly. My brother, when talking to a doctor and telling them that he had to sit to pee (often after some cancer treatment or something else that made him weak), would always whisper like a girl.

However, the last time we went cruising, we had gone separately down to one of the merchandise sales. I saw a woman's fleece jacket and was considering it, but decided to pass on it. Later, back in the cabin, I saw my brother had bought the jacket, saying he could get used to the zipper being on the other side. (He was always cold.)

So as embarrassed as he was if he had to sit and pee, he had no problem buying a woman's jacket for himself.

Thats sad and beautiful at the same time. Hugs

Didnt see that twist. Curious.

None that I know of. My family tends to be conservative, but being from California that is still pretty liberal for much of the country. I have never heard a homophobic or anti-trans word from them, but suspect if they did utter such musings it would be from ignorance rather then true disdain. If they did, they would likely get an ear full from a variety of sources, not the least of which would be from me. While only a cousin knows of my dressing, and she is 100% supportive, then rest of my family does not know, and I prefer to keep it that way as I feel there is no reason they need to know. I would have no problem with them finding out, I just prefer to not have to deal with it. As for friends, I am confident they all would not care in the least, they wouldn't be friends if I thought they did. Remember, you get to choose your friends, but not your relatives.

I have zero tolerance for bigots, but I am fine with educating people about things they may not know, or understand.

How interesting! Wonder if your brother has other femme clothes. Best, Marlene.