How has crossdressing affected your relationship with your SO

After 42 years of marriage I came out to my Wife. I got first dibs on clothing that she no longer wants [if I can fit in them], but after that she is not involved in my Debbie side. I will make a move to change that as my dressing evolves,but at least I am done with purging.

Debbie

Our relationship (33 years of marriage) has evolved over time as relationships do. When she found out I was CD she was at first supportive, but not excited about the idea. Over time that tolerance has morphed into don’t ask don’t tell. She knows I dress because all my clothes are in my closet and drawers. I also wear perfume daily so there is always that lingering scent that is undeniably feminine. She occasionally goes through my things to see if I have anything new. She never says anything about it. She has told me in the past that she prays daily that God will remove this demon from my life (her words). That hurts more than I can say. We have reached a truce where we just don’t talk about it and she never gets to see Emily.

Wow Emily that is harsh of her. So you know her feelings for sure. I don't know how I would or could deal with that. I will be praying for her.

Huge Hugs

Diane

Debbie, That is progress. Perhaps you could go to bed in you night gown or ask her out for a coffee, just you girls.

Hugs

Diane

So Genevieve, I have a question. It sounds like you two are still an item. Is it possible for you to get back together?

Just being nosy

Hugs

Diane

So is there a possibility you two will ever get back together? Or are you open to new relationships? Just being nosy.

Hugs

Diane

I replied that it has enhanced it. We have always been a close couple, and she has known I've had a fondness to wear lingerie from time to time. Then 2-3 years ago I really wanted and needed to do what I had dreamt of for the last 20 or more, to get completely dressed up with makeup and nice wig, etc.

It took a bit of getting used to since like so many other people seem to, I was gay, or leaning that way, which is totally not true.

Since then we have gone out girl and girl style on occasion, but the big thing is we are so much closer now. It is very cool to shop together online and in person, and bounce ideas for clothes and outfits off of each other.

Amy

I don't know what to answer since it's changed over time.
Before we got married I told my wife that I like to wear womens clothing. She said something down the lines of "ok, just keep it out of my sight". I don't think she really knew what I talked about and it was kind of late in the game but at least I told her and did it before we where married.

Then came life, kids, and all that stuff. I kept Kelly in the closet and did it only when I was home alone. Sometimes I let kelly out late evening/nights but I was always alone.

As the kids did grow up and I got some more time the urge grew stronger. I did at some point (15-20 years later) "have the talk" where I reminded her about it my female side. It was short talks that became longer and then I started having heels on while kids where in school. I then added a skirt and a little more as time did go on.
Kids have now moved out and I'm now able to be Kelly more or less full time, at least when we are home (and even done some outings, see my other posts).

I pointed out that I always want to be completely truthful with her and that keeping Kelly from her did feel very wrong. She is accepting Kelly but not much more.

Based on above my answer was both "same" and "improved". It's about the same over all but me not having to hide anything from here makes it a little better, at least for me.

/kt

Hi Diane great question as i answered inhanced  our marrige and relation ship as im so sorry for all you girls here with wifes and SOs who dont approve im almost ashamed to say i have a great relationship with my wife and Stephanie also. When we were married withen first few weeks i knew i could not keep this from her and  came out as Stephanie and her husband togrther  she got two in the  deal with the ring ..LOL.. Well it took a lot of talking as maybe a month or 4 or 5 weekend chat sessions when she asked to meet Stephanie so as it goes it took off from there and havent turned back in 37 years of marrige , we have fun shopping together on line as Stephanie dosent go out side the house  . We still shop when we go to big city shopping as wife likes to shop for Stephanie and she buys Things for her from time to time as a supprise as this past week Stephanie recieved in mail a pair of Thigh High black boots a blue blouse  and three new bras as she said . She saw they were getting bad looking from her doing the wash she sees all Stephanies clothes  there so better quit hopes and prayers goes to all of you with cant say problems . All you girls that have situations waiting to be resolved  thats better good luck and .

Love you all

Stephanie

I voted stayed the same... we were 19 when we Married...32 years ago, our marriage is very strong, raised 4 kids, we have a farm and both work off the farm. I underdress- no bras, corsets for health reasons, panties, silk and satin camis for bed, ladies cut jeans. We enjoy spending time together as a couple and with family. Our relationship is as strong as it has always been, we also have a strong faith. I dream of fully dressing , to try it, but honestly, I am content with where I am... I won’t do anything to harm my relationship. It’s give and take... more give by each of us then take... that’s why we are so great together.

Hi Diane

Unfortunately none of the options in the poll fitted my situation. My wife discovered my crossdressing and our relationship deteriorated but we have not separated but a purge needed to take place and I am taking measures to avoid a repetition by denying myself the ability of any personal expenditure.

The fact that I am still on CDH means to myself I am being realistic that I  am unlikely to permanently drive the interest from my mind but for the foreseeable future I need to be able to genuinely say that I do not possess any " ladies underwear"

Rachel

I voted enhanced. My wife was accepting when I came out to her. All my life I have felt like a woman and approached life that way. That has been a strength in my life, family, relationships and career. My wife says she still needs me to be a man at times. That she doesn't want me to have surgery. I would love to have the surgeries, but they are not in the plan right now anyway. I have explained to her that I am sensitive, emotional and nurturing and that has benefited her and all our kids. She does understand that.

Hugs,

Kay

great question Diane , in my case when i came out to my wife 9 yrs ago we both suffered nervous breakdowns and divorce seemed to be a very strong possibility.

my wife has become somewhat tolerant over the years and even attends support group

events with me. however our marriage has never been the same and our physical relationship really died the day i came out to her.

the disadvantages of telling my wife i crossdress far outweighs the benefits

Hi Diane, our relationship suffered at first - although not as much as when our 3rd child was due and the post-natal depression that followed.

However, it's bounced back, 2 years later - I was determined it would and put in a lot of effort to ensure our relationship would work, our family would grow, and other thongs, such as work, would improve.

I felt split into my male and female sides, so I got into splitting everything else too, and to just throw myself 100% into whatever was important in the moment, without looking back, except for brief reflection, or forward, except for orientation (ie, how does what I'm doing now help bring about the broader objective? Can I do better, if so, what?).

This isn't about pressure, it's about making the most of and enjoying the current task as much as possible, with rewards for less pleasant activities (toilet cleaning, you know, basics).

This might all seem rudimentary, but when I had no definite cross dressing to look forward to except stolen moments, I was far less motivated.

Now that it's understood, my wardrobe isn't confined to bin bags, but is in an actual wardrobe, and I have definite, allocated time to be Laura, the worries, the secrecy, the shame and guilt are no more.

That is priceless.

Any woman who decides to divorce over clothing, well, that is a very, very sad indictment of a conditioning society.

How many husbands have divorced their wives because they stop dressing in pretty clothes? What would people think if they did?

My wife and I briefly talked about divorce, but quickly found out that neither of us wants that at all. We want the person we chose to marry.

For better or worse. As promised in front of our families and God.

Love Laura