how involved does your partner get with you dressed femme?

Had two lovely ladies over the my "3 score and 1o". Told the first one not long after we were married and she hated it with a passion for the next nigh on 30 years.  Probably made the miserable marriage more miserable.

My wonderful number 2, "knows but does not want to know".

So I still dress in private either at home or when I have the chance to stay overnight on "charity volunteer business"

Caty.

PS But it does not stop me from underdressing almost 24/7. Y.see we sleep in separate rooms.

Fiona I believe we all look at our SO’s in some sort of absolute and so I will read the responses with a great deal of curiosity. So here we go...

First off my wife of over 20 years is my best friend and I love her with all my heart and do not ever wish to be without her. Now that the lovey dovey stuff is done. I told my wifey BEFORE we married about my cross dressing and she at that time tried going out with me and even helped with makeup and wardrobe. After we married she began to see Carolyne as “the other woman” and started having issues with her. We reached a blow out point around year 3 of our marriage and she demanded I quit. Me being the selfish jerk I am announced I wanted a divorce and found someone who would accept my feminine side even to a point they said they didn’t care if I was out to everyone and dressed full time. Over the course of a couple of weeks I realized how much I loved and had wronged my wife. It has taken a lot of work and talk but we are still together and stronger now than ever before. So where did we end up?  I have had laser hair removal on my face and keep my legs smooth and nails long and manicured. She obviously notices that!  When I am on the road she knows I dress and go out shopping, dining and occasionally clubbing. Does she approve, no not really. Does she accept this as reality, yes. She does not wish to be involved with my dressing but through our talks we have both realized I am much more of a transgender soul than anything and we work hard to respect each other as we know I can not nor will I ever change. I wish I could go further, she wishes I would go less. Yep, we are a couple that has issues, but we talk and even joke about it now so we accept each other, but don’t necessarily participate in it together.

Well that wasn’t short, but you did say “be honest”!  😂😂

🍷C

Good poll! I'm very interested to see how it plays out. I'd have to say it's a mix of a few for me. At the moment I'm 25% out of the closet and 75% in. I've answered that I haven't told her, which is the most true.

Without re-writing War and Peace: An Origin Story, my wonderful wife (and I sincerely mean that) found a stash, we had a talk, and out of that I've got about 16 pair of nylon panties I wear nearly every day that she knows about. At that time, that was the extent of it, she had found the entire stash. Now its six months later and I'm wearing clothes, looking at wigs, and watching makeup tutorials online. While the pace for me is a little surprising, it's not unfamiliar. Like all these puzzle pieces I've got are starting to come together here.

It makes her uncomfortable because it's something I've hidden from her as if it's wrong, in addition to her finding me presenting as female a turn-off. It makes me uncomfortable to share because I know she's attracted to my male image, and that she finds crossing a turn-off. I like turning my woman on (both of us, ha!) so I don't involve her when I dress outside of the panties. That's "me" time right now. I just wish she could know I did everything I did last weekend just in a dress and I had a great time about it. Even got the house clean! See?? I'm a good girl! Okay maybe for her that's too much, but I feel like a good girl and I'd love for her to just smile and say "okay baby, but what are we cooking for dinner".

In a holding pattern...

Hi Fiona, good one. I'll be following this forum closely. Loving the responses thus far. Sorry, I'm not allowed to be fully honest as it would break the rules of forum content😘

Hey there,

My wife goes back and forth from being fully involved to little involved depending on the situation.  But she is always willing to give me advice on my makeup and compliments my choice of outfits.

Hugs,

Michelle

Totally in the closet and have been always.  I don't think I will ever come out.  I think I have to much to lose.

I could never tell my SO about my dressing.  The lyrics to Billy Joel's song, The Stranger, really hit home...."Well we all have a face, that we hide away forever..."  For years I've had deep feelings about wanting to be a woman but suppressed them.  From a young age I followed the societal rules like a good boy.  Find a girl, get married, have kids.  It was easy in a way to suppress my feelings cos you get so wound up in the daily grind of a job, raising kids, etc etc.   But all along I felt different inside.  I would squat on the toilet to pee and fantasize about being a woman and having to squat.  I would just wish to God to please let me just wake up one day and find myself in a woman's body, even if it's only for a day.  So I would wear womens underwear in fitful moments of enjoyment.  Time goes on, I retire a bit early at 60 a year a year and a half ago.  She leaves the country for 10 days on a trip.  I look at crossdresser sites on the internet....order breastforms, etc....down the rabbit hole I go and so glad I did.  But after all these years, I know she will not accept this about me.  I have too much to lose financially and I have to much to lose if I were to get cut off by my adult children and from my grandchildren.  So I stay closeted, frustrated and dress when I can.

AnnePreuss

My wife's reaction to discovering I had been under dressing with knickers and Camis was so intensly negative that I will need to keep my broadening interest in the wearing of "female" clothing firmly to myself.

My partner is very supportive and encourages me to stay with it. Occasionally it is even brought into the bedroom 😊😉

I feel very fortunate to have her support!

My wife and partner also best friend have been together for over fifty years and have A very close relationship. I told about my dressing before marriage and she had no problem with it. we agreed that neither of us would be A jailer or warden when it came to our activities so I let her do her things and she let me enjoy my dressing as well as my collecting old cars and guns  . She hates the sight of men's underwear and insists I wear panties and fem tank tops, she really does not care for pajamas even the lacey satin kind but loves to have me sleep in nighties both short and long ones. We go shopping together and I make sure she picks out cloths for her self as well as me. Last Christmas she gave me  kilt skirts and leggings and some new panties. I don't know what to expect this Christmas but I know it will be something nice.

Sarasue

What an interesting survey and thank you all for your responses. My experience with my wife was at first was one of acceptance.. We went shopping together and she picked out stockings, cami's, and panties for me... We even went for manicures together.... Kathy knew I underdressed and slept in panties and cami's...but when she found my breastforms.... To her I crossed the line because as a breast cancer survivor, they were to "perfect" ..... I thought our 47 year marriage was over as she took her wedding/engagement rings off..and must process my "choices" .move forward 3 months to now and my going to therapy and a vacation together, we are a couple again ... However, when The opportunity presents itself (Kathy is not home) Leonara becomes her femine alter ego.. Kathy plans lunches and outings with her friends and comments that "you will find something to do".
My wife has many girlfriends and prefers not to have "me" as one.....thank you all for listening. Leonara

My answer is not in the list... My wife knows, doesn't like it, doesn't participate, but she is aware of it. It is not that she "lets me" do it.

In any case, I'm glad for all of you who have accepting/supportive/tolerating spouses and significant others. 🙂

Gaby ♥

My wife’s reactions to Zoe vary.  At one end of the spectrum, she wants a break from Zoe and doesn’t want me to dress at all.   Many times, she offers no reaction to me while in Zoe mode.  Other  times she participates in my dressing and on occasion supports going out on the town (obviously my favorite).   My challenge is to try and figure out what I can do.  Not always easy.  She definitely has some lines in the sand.  No makeup while in the house and prefers that I don’t tell any of my close friends.  Z

hi everyone. now I think everyone can relate to this topic, whether its good or bad, lets hope its good! is your wife or SO, supportive or non-supportive with you dressed femme? maybe they are neutral, maybe they disapprove, or hopefully they support you through and through. be honest! lets find out!

love fiona xxx

I've only had one partner that didn't approve. The other one's I've had were fully supportive, they stood ready and willing around the 24 hr. clock.