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On when I began this journey I had a pair of panties and a bra. If I felt the need for Celeste to appear I could get make the change in/out in 2 minutes each direction. That ability for a quick change meant an hour of alone time could yield 56 minutes for Celeste. Over the years changing into Celeste has become more complicated. Digging out my wardrobe from storage, makeup, hair, earrings, mixing and matching my outfits all takes time. Add in time for my own personal photo shoots, coming here to chat while dressed-and the satisfaction of doing anything and everything when dressed. Then comes the unwinding if it all before someone sees me (though that is becoming less of a concern these days). Through all of that while I have found that an hour of alone time is not enough because I’ll spend most of that hour setting up and taking down Celeste and not nearly enough time being Celeste. So now I need at least 4 hours of alone time to let Celeste out. Short of that, I don’t change and instead dream of when I’ll get an appropriate amount of time to satisfy my soul. That leaves me wondering… do you take advantage of whatever amount of time you get? Or do you just need more time like me?
When I was young and closeted I would be delighted to get even a half hour to dress taking any opportunity I could. Now after coming out to the wife, I dress in some way every day all day long.
Nikki comes out whenever Nikki comes out. When she does and I am able to dress, it's awesome, but when she does and I can't dress, it's definitely not awesome. I don't have intense dysphoria, but it's there. I'm lucky enough to be able to dress at home whenever I want, but sometimes I'm already out in drab, visiting family, at work, whatever. Nikki en drab is a special kind of discomfort. Just throwing on a skirt and top is enough, and if there's time enough for makeup, joy.
For me, the question is the difference between a "need" and a "want", I want to dress 100% of the time as a woman. If I had my way, I'd transition and live the rest of my life fully as a woman, but sadly, that is not an option.
So then, getting to how much time do I need? Well, that depends on what you mean by "to satisfy your soul." For me, that means allowing me the time I need to fully and completely transform myself into the woman I crave being. This means a nice, long soak or hot shower, with plenty of time to shave, then moisturize all over, do my nails, and then take all the time I want to pick out and put on my lingerie, dress, heels, makeup, jewelry, and wig. And then having the time to not rush, but to enjoy everything that I can while en femme, up to and including going out in public as a woman.
So for me, it is definitely much more than four hours! 🙂
Hugs,
Holly
Thoughtful question! Before I came to terms with my real gender, I would dress in secret and liked any time to be in my preferred clothing. Once I came out as transgendered to my SO in April of 2021, I no longer hide or dress in secret. Coming out as transgendered has liberated the real me and I’m just me each day. Yes, I wear my clothes, yes I wear makeup, yes my nails are lacquered, yes, I am Debbie Lynn. So my exterior matches my interior. No more dressing in secret or hiding me from the world! 🤗
Celeste, like Holly mentioned it's the time spent getting there as the woman I want to present. With the time bathing, shaving, picking out what to wear, than changing that outfit because it wasn't what I wanted in the end. All of that to me is a real part of being femme and so if I'm really going for it I want to spend more time in dress and not feel rushed to change back. So yes definitely 4 hours plus for me, besides I'm always wearing a bra and panties so I know my femme soul is there.
Sherri
That is it - I want to invest the time to really enjoy it. And when I’m not able to physically do it due to time- mentally I’m there. Sounds like your underdressing keeps you going until you have the time you need. Not a bad approach.
Yes ruching through it is not pleasurable. I don’t want the sprint I want the slow walk in the park so to speak
Before I finally addressed who I've always been, a transgender woman, I dressed whenever I could for as long as I could. Now it requires 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to make sure Lauren is well looked after.
I can tell you that she's definitely a high maintenance girl!!
Hugs,
Ms.Lauren M
Oh my, I wish I could answer endless time but in reality, my femme soul is like a massive hungry beast that requires constant feeding.
Alas, the best I can do to quell this beast is on weekends or a day off from work. What I try to do is get up as early as I can, do some chores, then shower which will then give me around 12+ hours (if everything goes right) of Wendy time.
In the meantime when I can't fully transform, I have to feed the femme beast snacks of underdressing, either in panties/cami or swimsuits.
Ever feel that “cough” come on to take a sick day to indulge?
I don't need to be alone to dress since I have such an accepting & supportive boyfriend and basically my entire wardrobe is romantic lingerie which is worn to bed, but in between daily "tasks" if I was to wear lingerie during the day around the house I'd probably want at least 2 hours to really feel enjoyment from it. I don't do makeup, so it's simply lingerie, wig and either bra or forms and that's it. Easy on, easy off.
In the evenings and at night I have more than enough time to be fully dressed, although I rarely try make-up. In the day (at home) I'll underdress in full retro which suits me fine, sometimes with a skirt and unisex top in case a quick change is called for.
I've thought about "sick day". but working from home there is no need for sick day 🙂
Hi Celeste, well, I'm at a point in life where I've got the dressing down to a pretty much organized routine, so if I can have at least 2-3 hours of me time, where I know I won't be interrupted, I'll dress. Of course, I'd love to have a lot more time, and in the past because of different circumstances I would have more time when doing it, but less actual available instances themselves. Now I have a lot more time periods, but not as much time, so I've learned to adjust.
We're both retired now and even though my SO knows of my desires, I still do it privately. I suppose if we talked about it more, and we could reach an agreement allowing me to do it more, I would...but, when she is home, she's always on some project, and 90% (or more) of them usually will involve me. I don't need to be dressed when a friend comes calling which is far more likely with her at home.
A good example is just a little while ago. She went out to do some shopping, etc. and I thought seriously of dressing as the time frame was just at that lower limit, but I didn't and as it turned out, one of our very good next door neighbor friends came by to drop something off. I didn't get to the door in time, and she came in (which we both tend to do because we watch each other's house when the other is gone.) Good thing I didn't dress. That would have been a shock.
Hugs, ChloëC
