M.M.P.M.P.C. anyone?

I’m going to be honest, I can act macho but I absolutely hate it. I grew up rural in the Deep South, all my cousins bragged about hunting, fishing, and sports to the point where everybody was in competition with each other. Sad thing is they all still do after we have all grown up. Don’t get me wrong I love being outdoors and I like a good football game but so much is put on being manly and macho to where it effects what we wear, what we drive an so on to the point where if you don’t go along with it, you end up being the butt of derogatory jokes and name calling. I don’t know about y’all but I find it so difficult to enjoy myself with that surrounding. Yes I love the outdoors, I can fish, I can get dirty with the rest of them. I’m a proud veteran and a really good mechanic But more over, even tho I don’t drive a huge truck, or brag about who I went out with last night, or enjoy hunting, I’d rather not be a phony and just be myself. If that  means I like to dress femme, and do things that make society nervous and question their own masculinity, then I say who cares? I’m happy and at peace with myself. I’m not in a competition with anyone and honestly we shouldn’t have to. I’m living my dream, if others don’t like that then maybe they are hiding something and not really being true to themselves. At the end of the day, you need to be happy with who you are.

I never thought of me being overly macho but it was my way of life with work,  family and being with the boys. Quite out going,  sports,  outdoors every aspect of our male culture. But through my many years I've always had that softer side but ever kept it hidden. Looking what life has dealt me I wouldn't change a thing but now I feel for me. I don't believe I was faking it but knowing it wasn't something that was totally driving me.  Now I felt the time has come to move over those male imperfections and start enjoying all that life offers .

Never again that stiff shifting strut but now a slow elegance is my walk  , an ease to the soul... 🌷

I think the macho thing depends upon several factors including our genetic makeup along with the environmental conditioning we received when we are young.  I come from a strong Germanic/Prussian heritage.  I think there is a bit of genetic macho that goes with that.  But I was also raised in a chaotic household that featured much fighting and little to no love.  It took many years for me to understand the macho wall I built up around me to shield myself due to my own insecurities and psychological fear of being hurt by others, after being hurt for such a long time by the ones who should have been been showing love to me.  So now, after all these years, I try to avoid acting macho but occasionally the macho tendencies make appearances.  It's tough to subdue the demons at times but I'll continue to carry on.

Here's the thing for me. There are literally two opposite sides of myself. Sometimes I want to look and be as delicate and beautiful as Grace Kelly. Other times I want to be as rough and masculine as Gimli.

I don't understand why I have these two opposites desires in me. I love wearing beautiful vintage dresses. I also have a deep desire to forge metal.

I don't know why, but that is me.

I like being a guy and always enjoyed doing boy things when I was young. I just always had a love and desire to wear pretty girl's clothes. I loved wearing stockings, pantyhose, heels and bra since I was 4. I so wanted to have many pairs of my own shoes, pantyhose, bras, panties, stockings, garters, lingerie and pretty dresses. I would look in magazines and department store catalogues, see all those wonderful things and thought of and dreamed of having and wearing them all the time.

When I was 18 and got my own place, I began buying and wearing all those wonderful things I loved and wanted for so long. I ended up getting everything, including wigs and makeup and began going out fully femme.It was wonderful, euphoric, exciting and such a thrill and rush like nothing else.

Still, though, when I was not in my girly attire I enjoyed going out, getting dirty, playing sports and being rough and tumble. I was just a boy who loved clothes that were not considered boy's clothes. As an adult, I still enjoy being active in the outdoors. But I really do love the excitement thrill and rush of being Patty and being out too. I'm a manly man who loves dressing like a girly girl.

Right...………..a short guy like me being macho...………..is so...….comical…...a character in a cartoon...………...I like being a short girl...……...karley

Hi Harietta,

I can pull it off as in instances like you and I work in a very male profession .

mechanics can be very crude I must say.

I think a lot of mean just default to that behavior when confronted with femininity out of self preservation and not knowing how to deal with it,

I think a lot of men like and would be feminine but they are too scared.

we have a transgender at work and bless her heart she is built like a football player .

Tall and broad shoulders very manly build.

The guys I work with make jokes about her amongst them selves ( not to her)

However what I find is they talk about her a lot.

I think a lot of them are fascinated with her.

What do you girls think? am I way off base?

Love Patty

P.S. Harietta,

One time at work I was giving a girl that worked in our office a ride from our work space back to her office.

She saw one of our employees trans am and said That is a Nice Mother F***cker.

I imideiatly thought how unattractive that language made her look.

She motivated me to talk better for sure its just not very attractive in a woman to me.

I hope I don't offend any one .

I must say I have to watch my mouth working on things I let it fly too much and its a bad habit I need to get out of

Patty

It's not that I don't have any male interests, but I've hated macho my whole life.  I had to be taught to cuss by the councilor in summer camp, and it still wasn't me.  When I was young, I would put on the TV on Sunday nights to watch The Wonderful World of Disney.  If there was a football game that was running late, my Dad (who wasn't a sports fan either) might come and ask me "Who am I rooting for?"  My answer was always the same.  "The clock."  I didn't understand the rules, only that they just kept stopping the clock.

In school, during the time of the first Ali-Frazier fight, some of the boys would come up to me and ask me who I was rooting for.  They kind of made fun of me because I didn't care, telling me I have to care.  But watching two fighters trying to give the other a concussion was never of interest to me.

I don't put myself in situations of back and forth potty mouth between guys.  You asked why they do it, and part of the answer relates to what a former radio host used to ask.  "Why do dogs scratch their back side?  Because they can."

As long as people say "Boys will be boys" and accept the potty mouth as "normal" male behavior, it will continue.  Not saying anything is akin to acceptance.  The only way to stop it is to say something.

I just don't put myself in a situation where potty mouth is acceptable, and therefore don't have to deal with it.

Never could do macho...but certainly can do assertive, confident woman to the point I seem bossy or a beeyatch

Sadly, I can do this second nature and it's abhorrent but still.

I do also have to say, I work with loads of women who can put men in the shade with this type of potty mouthed, loutish behaviour. Even some female psychiatrists I've worked with are expert at this. And have you can the gauntlet of calling a group of women ladies. Definitely need to wear a hard hat and ear muffs If I dare do that again.

😂😁😂

Take care girls.

Anne-Marie.

A counter question - can you go to a dance club, strip club, bar, or party and oogle women strictly like many guys do?

I can't, I seem to have gained too much respect for women as a CD. I'm hetero, and the first things that often jump out to me is how a woman is dressed, her attitude, her demeaner, her femininty. The worst macho situations for me would be when guy friends would want to go to a strip club. The first things that would jump out to me would be, "wow, I like her outfit", or "I wonder how many inches are those heels", "gross how all these guys treat her, she's a lady".

Same when my wife dresses up sexily or in lingerie. My first thoughts are how good she looks, then followed by I wonder how I would look in an outfit like that, then, wow, she's up to somethiing.

Hi Harietta.  I don't think that being a potty mouth is a sign of being a macho man.  I don't believe I ever heard my dad ever swear or use any kind of cuss word.  He was a mostly quiet man who only said what needed to be said and did what needed to be done.  He was a midwest farmer who raised 5 boys which took a lot of hard work.  7 days a week, sometimes 16 hour days during planting and harvest season.  I don't know if you would call this macho or maybe stoic would be more accurate.  I sure would not call this anyware near feminine.

I myself can cuss and swear with the best, but I choose not to, and have always tried not to.  But starting this year I started to switch to behaving more feminine at work, I started giving my male coworkers a hug before work every day.  This has had to go on hold till after the virus scare is over.

Macho? Never could pull that off (nor ever really wanted to). Masculine? I used to be at least okay at appearing "not feminine". Would never have considered my self as uber masculine in my younger days- and mainly someone ho faded into the woodwork as I was shy and introverted. I've gotten more social as Cyn became more of an open and fuller part of my life. And with my hair now well down my back -even when up in a high ponytail-I get gently teased by my friends at league pool as having the best hair in the bar. I also am happy to french braid any girl's hair if she likes-averaging 2-4 times whenever I'm there. And I know that at least a dozen or two dozen of my friends there know about Cyn and are ok with it.
Cyn

Sure, I'm hetero but  not made of stone either. I'll look back when Euridice passes by. But my attraction is never expressed vocally. crudely or otherwise.