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Each step I take in my CD journey seems to lead to the next step and the next. Its been a few months now since I first dressed with my wife and now Im already thinking what now ? the next logical step is going out in public but honestly at this time Im not really interested in that. but also afraid once I did that then what ? As a CD Is there a top of the hill and are you just happy when you reach it ? or if your not happy does that mean your TG ? seems CD is like a gateway drug 🙂
Each goal I have reached gave me such a feeling of pure bliss and I feel like that is a huge part of the drive , I want that feeling again and again. but once I get there , it does not take long for me to be thinking what now ? More dresses ? more wigs more shoes ?
My journey has been a similar one to many. in over 40 years of this starting very early , to once in a while , to every few years , to more often , to weekly , to as much as possible. seems many have the same bar curve .
For those CDs that reached the proverbial top of the stairs , did you come to the realization you were TG ? , just stay there and be happy ? Slow down back to just when the pink fog is overloaded? Buy more stuff ? Something else ? Thanks RC
@river A question I posed to myself a couple of months ago. I've always known I was trans really if I'm honest & I've never really denied it as such, just not done anything about it. I am always at least underdressed & when at home completely in Sasha mode. However I recently found myself seriously investigating HRT supplies. Am I unhappy with where I'm at? not really, I am just intriegued at the prospect of going further. It's not about buying more stuff, I think I'm past that now, It's about fully embracing who I am & having the courage to do something about it.
X
Sasha
@sashabennett Thank You. Intrigued to go further is what is scaring me. 🙂 Have a great one. RC
RC
@annaredhead Thank You. at this time myself as well. I hope that when I hit the top Im just happy there and dont need more. well ya maybe a few more outfits, and heels of course lol.. Cheers RC
@river I just go and buy more stuff. If anything the more I dressed the more I realized I wasn’t Trans. I still enjoy going all out with the whole works to see how nice I can look. It’s a perpetual challenge, but the nice thing is that some dress up sessions are better than others, amd you never know what the next one will bring, so that is what keeps me dressing, and the fact I like to see the girl in the mirror from time to time. We are so compatible. We think exactly the same things and never get into arguments.
@jennconn Thank You.. agreed at this time I feel thats where ill end up . figure I only have a few more steps to take as CD and Im hoping ill be satisfied. as it is I dont want to dress everyday. but I do enjoy seeing River looking back at me. Have a great day. RC
@jennconn Here's hoping your next steps are with our group... like you, I love seeing Kathryn take form in the mirror and enjoying being out and accepted (invisible?) as an older, happy lady! Looking forward to meeting you soon!
Hugs, Kathryn
Something else ?
There isn't an Or Something Else, but that is what I need.
I don't know if I will ever hit a crossdressing ceiling nor do I plan on stopping to learn about and practice what we do.
@harriette Thank You.. I dont know about a ceiling but I know Ive hit a few walls lol. I agree ones needs may never hit a ceiling. Although the word ceiling is depressing. to me that means you would have no where to go which is why Im so interested in all the responses. I think im on a landing and I need to explore where im at but not force it and be happy that im here.. Cheers RC
@river I think its important to think, be safe, be true to yourself, be kind, not hurt anyone, and not overthink things. Being on the journey, climbing the stairs, stopping to catch your breath and smell the proverbial roses - that's the wonderful beautiful moment. If you reach the top of the stairs, at the risk of mixing metaphors, I suggest you "cross that bridge when you come to it.
@reinaakarejo Mostly true but the burning question has to be asked, what happens when you realise that it’s paramount to see the wood as well as the trees???
it’s good to take time, smell the coffee as well as enjoying the roses and breath the cool sweet air. Ultimately though, one has to move on or become stagnated. If one lets that happen or one will fail to fulfil the reason for one’s existence or actually reach the top of the stairs.
@reinaakarejo Thank You. Im currently in the mindset that Ive reached a level and even though there are other floors to explore in this area Im not as excited about the next steps as I was getting here . So I think as you said I need to stop here for a while smell the roses and just be happy with where I am. But so as not to be stagnant revisit some of the other hobbies that have been neglected the past few years. Ive been over thinking things as you said. Its time to jump in my tube and just enjoy the lazy River for a while. Cheers RC
@river I get to the top of the stairs...only to find a new stairwell. I have gone further than I ever thought I would on this journey and yet still feel like I'm still just getting started.
@celestecd Thank You. the past few years I feel like Ive been running up the stairs. Its time for me to slow down and just be mindful of where im at before choosing the next steps. Have a great day RC
@river such a big question and one that I ask myself a lot too! I've been dressing for as long as I can remember but only in the last few months did I decide to tell my wife and since then I went from occasionally mostly just lingerie type stuff and nothing more to diving into wigs, makeup, shoes, jewelry, and now thinking about trying forms. It was like this huge cambrian explosion in my evolution and tbh it scared me a bit - mostly b/c one of the first questions that my wonderfully accepting wife asked was "are you trans?" and I wanted to give her as honest an answer as I could without knowing for sure.
So I've given it a lot of thought since (after decades of more or less ignoring that question) and for me the answer is that I am 99% sure that I'm not trans. for me that would entail some dysphoria associated with my current gender and associated body. 99% of the time I have pretty standard male body and dress pretty typically male and that doesn't make me feel sad. to me, that means the top of my stairs is likely not steps normally taken by those who identify as trans (dressing all the time, HRT, surgery, etc). This is how I think about CD -> Trans and super recognize that everyone will understandably think about that differently!
BUT - I do have this feeling of euphoria in both the process of dressing and then seeing the final result. So very clearly identify as a CD in that sense. and I do see it as a sort of hobby that makes me very happy. Like all of my other hobbies I think there's the potential for constantly striving for more, more, more. Constantly seeking more and bigger dopamine hits. I like to run. I run 3 miles and then I think "what about 5?". Then maybe a half marathon. then a full marathon? More running gear. More running buddies. Running in different places in the world. etc etc etc.
Any hobby has the potential to become addictive and I see cross-dressing in the same light. It causes no distress in me now or in my relationship but, like any hobby, if it took over my life and crowded everything else out that's important to me it would become a problem.
I am feeling really comfortable with where my dressing is even though it's become so much more involved in the last few months and will likely keep evolving.
next step for me would be meeting another CD in person for the first time and/or being in public. It seems like an almost inevitable next step though I, like you, and not totally sure yet whether that's right for me.
My hope is that I will be at the top of my stairs and still find the euphoria that I get now without feeling like I need more! Seeing a joyful Bryce time after time looking back at me (in different outfits, looks, etc) I think will be enough! Only time will tell 🙂
@brycenee24 Thank You we are in a very similar place. After telling my wife and getting accepted i went full bore and after I started dressing with her I hit another level. but now the next level seems to be going out in public which im not ready for.. When im dressing I feel like I may be trans as It feels so good but then when I take it all off there is a relief and I dont need it for a few days sometimes weeks. so Im also pretty sure its just CD. but who knows I may still be repressing. I do know my other hobbies have taken a sebatical lately which im working on finding a happy medium.
Have a great day RC
Hi River,
Interesting topic.
I just adding to the wardrobe - will never reach the apex of the stairs. Would like to really dress more and actually go out to malls, restaurants, etc but as of now not in the foreseeable future.
Purchasing more outfits keep Brandi satisfied and humbled. That guilt trip does hit and I purge so this what it is.
Hugs,
Brandi
@brandicd11 Thank You.. and Yup a new dress gets me excited for a short time then I need another and something else and a new wig or heels. but then I feel like Im wasting money like an addict. Though the money is whats been keeping me from purging as after I just felt even worse that I wasted so much. Im learning to just put it away for a while until the urge is strong then the same old dress seems to do the trick. but If the day comes when I start going out well then Ill probably need a new wardrobe lol.. Cheers RC
@river I reached the top of the stairs when I finally came out to my wife and began to live a more authentic life. Am I truly trans? I don't really know but I do love being bigender. I have embraced both sides of me and blended them. So, where do I go from here? Who knows? But, at the present, I am at peace and loving myself! Happy Holidays! 🤗🥰
@lorrie_kaye Thank You and thats got to be the perfect answer. Im at peace and loving myself !!. I hope to achieve that someday. More of a weight issue than A CD issue. new years resolution . Happy holidays. RC
@river does a girl ever get tired of shopping for new clothes, shoes, and accessories? I know this one doesn’t.
if i can say alittle about this post. i think i have reached the top of the so called stairs. i have been dressing & going out for about 10 years now. i started out going to a halloween party where there was about a 1000 people. i dressed like a sexy female and no one bothered me. it was a rush, so i decided to walk around the block. a guy yelled at me. you can't dress like that tomorrow. wrong thing to say to me. so i started going out dressed more often. buying more girl clothes, shoes, anklets, toe rings, earrings, ect. i'm so loving looking like a girl, i even got my ears & bellybutton pierced. i have gone to concerts, shopping, restaurants, bars, movies, ect. no place i won't go dressed now. its funny, most crossdressers want to go to a gay bar. i personally don't care for them. i'd rather go where the real girls go. i never had any problem with regular people i guess that's what you call them. and they never had a problem with me, even Tho i'm not totally passable. i took a 5 day girl vacation, so i call it. i left the house dressed and stayed dressed for 5 days straight, no guy clothes with me. i drove from Maine to Atlantic city by myself dressed. i had a good time. would have been nice to have another cd or someone else with me. my cd bucket list is getting shorter. alway thinking of new things to do or places to go dressed.
@prettytoes Thank You and wow your really killing it. I so wish I had your bravery. I first need to learn to not care what people think of me. Im working on that getting a bit better every day then maybe I can strive to attempt something outside of my little haven. But even though I have not been anywhere close to that level I understand the drive for the next thing and thats what brought me to writing this. I need to learn to just say hey what I got is cool for now and don't force anything it will happen when its meant to .. Have a wonderful day RC
@river River when I became widowed even though it was devastating in one way, it also freed Genivieve to develop in ways previously impossible. I began to assemble a wardrobe, purchased makeup, skin and nail care products, wigs, shoes and everything else a girl needs. Then I dressed everyday, did my makeup daily practicing and learning what I could about how to create various looks. After overcoming some trepidations I began going out en femme, and then decided to live for periods of time as a woman. I totally loved going for weeks at a time never once wearing anything drab. It was a ton of work but this girl loved it and how it made me feel. It was so nice not having to remove my nail polish or worry if my lips were stained from my lipstick. I thought, Who cares, I am a girl and that’s what girls do!
@geniv_cd Thank You.. ya know its funny when I was younger thinking how many dresses does that girl need or geeze how long is it gonna take for her to get ready. lol nowadays im like ah totally get it.
Im So sorry for your loss . I can't imagine not having my wife around. That would be devastating. But I do understand where it would allow River to float to the top and take over. Have a great day RC
@river Thanks for posing this question. Consistently in the back of my mind is, "What is next?" I have often thought about:
- What would it feel like to go out with a group of crossdressers?
- What would it feel like to have a makeover?
- What would it feel like to go clothes shopping en femme?
- What would it feel like to be out in the world fully femme?
So much I have yet to experience. I do not know what the "top of the ladder" looks like yet I feel there is much more in store for me.
Wishing all of us inner peace, wherever we are on our journey,
Evie
@3s3eve Thank You. and agreed . I just hope the next steps are as wonderful as the previous ones whatever they may be. but being at peace along the way is the best possible scenario. My favorite proverb that helps me with this is from kung fu panda. Yesterday is gone Tomorrow is unknown but today is a gift , thats why its called the present.. I need to live in the moment and enjoy it.. Have a great day. RC
@3s3eve Evie, to answer your list of questions personally:
1. What would it feel like to go out with a group of crossdressers?
answer: A Wonderfully fun and feminine evening!
2. What would it feel like to have a makeover?
answer: I have had three Makeovers, two en femme. I loved every second of each one and learned so much about how apply my makeup by myself.
3. What would it feel like to go clothes shopping en femme?
answer: When I finally went shopping for clothes en femme, I never wanted to go any other way. The sales people were awesome, they helped me to put cute outfits together, allowed me to try things on, that was from bra fittings to evening attire!
4. What would it feel like to be out in the world fully femme?
answer: Once I walked out the door en femme the first time, each time after that was easier and I felt more at ease and more comfortable. That I believe led to my also being able to present a much more feminine image when out and about. I have shopped, had makeovers, went out to lunch with an admirers, had my nails done at a salon and even dated a few times. Over-all my experiences while out in public as Genivieve were very much an affirmation of my femininity.
Dating was my ultimate feminine experience. My feminine image had attracted the attention of a man. That to me was the very best of all my female activities!
@geniv_cd thank you so much for sharing. I can see how all of these experiences would be wonderfully affirming. I am hoping to take at least a couple of these steps this year!
Evie
Well River there's something to ponder. Getting to the top of the stairs is for some enough and are content, some think like you 'Now what'?
It's whatever you want or feel comfortable with allowing for constraints or even no constraints. It can be exciting or scary but if you want to do more then more steps will follow and will you ever reach the top?
Every step I took was new, exciting and just when I thought the top had been reached there was yet another unexpected step, still climbing and unsure where the top is.
Go with your heart River and perhaps buy a few more things while you ponder...
@ab123 Thank You. Im certainly not at the top yet but I Think I can see it in the distance. and Im just wondering whats over there for me. many different journeys reap many destinations. I have not gotten my terminal information yet and alot can happen on the last leg of a journey but at least it will be a sexy leg lol.. Cheers RC
@river as one door closes, another one opens. The top of the stairs is actually only a landing which leads to yet another staircase. It's like this because - for good or ill - this is life and life only ultimately ends with ones death. Until that end, we must continue with life no matter what it has in store for us. For me, I feel it is important to press forward until (if we ever get there) we reach what Maslow calls transcendence. If crossdressing or even transsexuality is a part of reaching that point for any one of us, embrace who you are as a human being and do good.
@lamm Thank You. Say your on a landing and the next staircase is taking you away from CD life Or taking it further than your ready for , Do you just push on ? or just move in and be happy where your at? My next stairwell points to going out in public and meeting other CDs but Im honestly not really interested at this time. But im also bored with the same ol same ol. I originally answered the poll dont want to think about it but Im starting to think im in the camp of only when the pink fog overflows and as im getting older it builds much slower than it used to. which is kinda depressing. just when im getting to a place where I feeling all good with this I'm feeling meh about it at the same time. I hope its just a phase !! Cheers RC
Yes Angela, River, and Sasha.....this RELATIVE NOVICE has pondered over this question for some time now. It may be as simple or as complicated as to understand Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Just when you think you've reached the TOP of the STAIRS, that it can't get any better, stop to enjoy 'that moment'... After doing so, you might want to take a glance to the left or right. There may be another flight to climb.
Stay well, Keep on Guard, and Continue to Enjoy what you LOVE DOING and what MAKES you HAPPY.
Sincerely,
Thea
@theapat Thank You and you are absolutely right there. Just be true to yourself , and my new mantra I think is .. always be excited about tomorrow !! Cheers RC
I have always been a transvestite, mostly in the closet so never saw the stairs. Now I am on my own and out of the closet I have a freedom that shows the staircase and I'm on it. At present I dress at home and underdress outside which includes breast forms, make up and earrings. So far I do not have the courage to go out. I have told all my friends and family who have accepted the new me. I would love to have HRT but as I am rather old it does not seem practical. So for me I am near the top of the stairs and when I go dressed in public I reckon I'll be on the landing.
@randialex Thank You ! please let us know whats on the other side . the suspense is killing me have a great day. RC
These days when I get to the top of the stairs, I forget why I've gone up them. 🙂
Sorry, couldn't resist that.
Hi River!
Great topic. I voted for find inner peace and stay there.
Not long after joining CDH, I remember someone posting "What's the difference between CD and Trans?...... about two years". It was intended to be whimsical, some found it offensive/insensitive, but it does infer that maybe some don't/won't discover they are Trans until they get to the top of the stairs.
Hugs,
Autumn
@augustvaliant Thank You . And Lmao on the joke. most of us have to have a sense of humor, When I have a picture night out of 100s of pictures 99% of them are laughs 
.. But i do understand where depending on the step your on It can be a very sensitive time and sometimes My wit does not always go over as intended .
I do however agree with you which is what made me think of askin ya all.. I feel like I see the top maybe in the distance. But a little apprehensive going there. as you just dont know until ya know !! then well it is what it is.. Have a great day RC
My view is you reach the top of your stairs when the next obvious move is something that makes you too uncomfortable to proceed.
Using myself as a small example here, the next obvious move for me would be to post a public picture. So far I only have private galleries on CDH. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of a public picture of Grace being out there - so I haven’t done it. Which definitely means I won’t be traipsing over to the Kroger to pick up some milk in Grace mode anytime soon. Or even my outside back patio for that matter.
I would only say that before you make a move you haven’t made before in your crossdressing career, consider all the possible outcomes girl.🥰
GP
@gracepal Thank You. and I understand that all too well. For me I just cant picture myself going out in public. Which may mean Im at My top. Though if thats the case its kind of depressing . A few years ago I would have told you I will never tell my wife but that ship has sailed. Maybe now I need to decide to go left or right or just stay here and be good with it. Time will tell it always does. have a great day. RC
@river You could take baby steps RC. Maybe your next move is to post more pics on CDH? That’s always fun for me. Not completely 100% safe but close as it gets. I think that thinking there’s always a “next level” to something - is our competitive male thought patterns kicking in. Nothing wrong with challenging yourself and “wanting to get better” at something. But not if it takes the fun out of it for you.
Everything in life is about the journey, being in the moment and recognizing it for what it is: These are the good old days right now🥰
GP
@gracepal Thank You and Spot on. Men have those tendencies which im sure why this whole CD thing is what it is, confusing as we are inherently confusing. I do have pictures in my private gallery . I did have a pic in the public one also but a recent post on facial recognition kind of scared me out of that. Private is good enough for me. And the big lesson Ive learned from you all is exatly that. Be in the moment thats always the best place to be. Cheers RC
I was a crossdresser for many decades before realizing and accepting that I was trans. 32 months ago, I went out in public for the first time and decided to live 24/7 shortly thereafter. I feel I've reach the top of my personal ladder. Social transition is as far as I want to go so I've found my niche.
You will know when you're reached your own niche and you will feel happy there.
@d44 Thank You and It sounds as you truly found yourself and thats wonderful!! I can only hope that which ever direction I head next It will be the right one . Ive had enough of this trial and error stuff . But although its fun. I cant complain lol.. I.have been very fortunate thus far. Have a great day RC
It’s not about the top of the staircase.. it’s about the journey to the top! At the end of the day crossdressing is for fun for me. I wouldn’t think so deeply about it. I dress when it feels right and it’s very fun and exciting. Other times I don’t feel a need or want to dress So.. I don’t lol. I’ll even take long breaks at times. Maybe one day I’ll start dressing every day.. or maybe I’ll slowly start dressing less and less. But that is for me personally i don’t have any transgender feelings about myself. I don’t think any thing in life can be solved by just buying more and more. Especially if you already aren’t feeling it. Then you will just feel guilty about the extra money spent. When you reach the top of the staircase only you can say how your feel about it River. I’d say look back on the past and ask yourself did you enjoy it and if so keep enjoying it.
-Nat
@coloradog1 Thank You. Honestly thats all we can do . And Hell ya I have enjoyed it. And that is so true . maybe for me this is the top and If i get bored just dont do it for a while. it will come.back it always does. Dont need to go another step. Thats very pertinent the more I read everyone's responses the more I learn. Just be at peace with where I am now and if things change in the future will then it was meant to be. have a great day RC
@river maybe there isn’t a top of the staircase at all. Maybe it is one of those optical illusion staircases that goes up and down in multiple directions in 4D 🤔
@coloradog1 So true Natalie. I could have written this response too. One of the best ways to appreciate something is to stop doing it. As much as I love all my female finery, sometimes a girl just has to take a break! (Kind of like the GG’s when they dress down, right?) I can put on my drab stuff, glance up in the closet at Graces things hanging there and get that happy feeling without putting on a darn thing!
Then, the longer I go without dressing up fully, the more exciting it is when I step into the pink fog again. Like hitting reset I suppose.
No one will ever convince me that crossdressing is this really complicated endeavor that we undertake. We complicate it ourselves by overthinking it.
GP
I'm not sure there is a top in that regard. Everyone does things up to a point of being comfortable to themselves and those around them. To extend the metaphor, when you get to the top you may explore around a bit. You may find rooms that you would like to visit, maybe a different style of clothing, maybe do role play, maybe just expand your horizons. You may wander around and find another staircase. Or maybe it's just a single step up.
Not every new experience is going to give you a thrill. Sometimes you're willing to push a little past your boundaries. Then you decide if you are comfortable there, and add it in to things you do, or uncomfortable, close the door and explore something else, or go back to a place you are comfortable.
A better metaphor might be a graph with many possible paths and connected in different ways, or perhaps a menu. You can choose what you want, ignore what you don't, order in whatever way you see fit. Some may say they don't want to go out so don't need makeup, breasts, or a wig. Others may go out without these items, presenting as a male in women's clothes. Still others may want some things even if they aren't going out.
You can stay as long as you want, add things to your plate, put things aside that you don't enjoy as much or decide you don't want to do right now (maybe it's seasonal, or there is something else that pushes to the top of your list). Some things may give you a thrill, others may give you a sense of satisfaction.
I'm not sure how to answer the poll if I don't really see a well-ordered staircase.
@alison-anderson Thank You.. This sounds like Dress dont dress whatever. basically there is no top no bottom it just Is what it is. be happy where your at and if you find another path thats interesting then go for it. Very wise way to look at things. Have a great day RC
@alison-anderson Good points Alison. That first paragraph of doing what’s comfortable for you and those around you. Great reminder that there’s other people involved with our comfort levels. Crossdressing is “all about you” if you’re by yourself. If you get all worked up and decide you’re going to share your female persona with the world, consider the others around you. Don’t be selfish in your pursuit of the “authentic you”. Some people may not be as enamored of you as you are.
GP
Cos I'm one of the CDH "ancients", I have had decades to reach the top of my CD staircase.
It has been one with many "landings" between many floors, (or certainly in the early days "FLAWS'. make up/wigs, dress sense etc Chuckle Chuckle)
But now, in my "declining years" I can look back at the things/events I wanted to achieve. Dinners out, makeovers, CD formals, getting confident enough to do my own make up. Upscale lingerie and outer wear, etc etc. Such luxuries as silk nightwear, breast forms, period and latter day formal gowns, femme bra fittings, high end wigs etc etc.
A perusal of my photos and articles here on CDH will "reveal all"
Travelling femme by plane could.. be one thing I have not done that would be fun. But I have no real desire to do so and whats more don't even have a destination in mind.
Minor nagging health trubbles have curtailed my monthly charity volunteer trips where I "get my full Caty on", that's a project for 2025
Happy dressing one and all
Caty
@ryanpaul This is interesting to read coming from a “seasoned veteran” of many stair steps Caty🥰. It helps me to imagine what I would and would not be up for. Take “Traveling Femme by plane” for instance. That’s definitely a “YGBFKM!” to quote my Italian paisanos. Trapped on a plane in Grace mode? Nowhere to hide? Oh, he** no!
Thinking it through, for me it’s really all about enjoying the clothes and the feminine thoughts that come with. I don’t have to be on a plane or at a mall to feel that joy. In fact, if I were to do those things, the joy would certainly be replaced by anxiety and trepidation.
So, thank you for the “Caution” signs.
GP
@ryanpaul Thank You. I had to look up the definition of a word that sounds the same but has a different meaning. glad I did as it made me giggle. Homophone . Flaws is a perfect example . cudos..
Partly why I posted this was that most of my life I've known what the next steps are and fantasized about taking them. now I dunno. apart from going out in public which Im just not that interested in at this time. Ive never had to consider that there may be no more steps for me, stop looking for them and just be happy where im at and live for the moment which sounds like just where your at. Have a great day RC
Thanks to River and Grace for responding. I have since remembered a couple of "steps".
Shaving/trimming.. (almost..) everywhere. Some years back I told my beloved I did not like body hair. So I just shaved and trimmed almost....all of it off. (There are places in our anatomy which are best left alone....) Even then I trim right up to 'it".
As many have commented, a freshly shaved "bod" combined with either panty hose or silk nightwear is just plain bloomin' wonderful. Emphasis on the latter..
There's another, where I have not taken the step/ got "abreast" of. IE Buying and trying on a breast plate. But I've seen so many negative reports, especially here on CDH regarding heat, tearing and difficulty in getting one on and off, especially for an old geezer like me, that I have resisted the temptation. Ther fact that I can almost "glow", (ladies dont perspire) with a lightbulk on my face is reason enough in the first place.
Besides, the cost of a half way good one would go a long way to my next silk lingerie purpose.. Not that I intend to do so, but let me tell you all, I saw a "Ginia" silk slip in the most gorgeous colour in a shop window last week that I was sorely tempted.
But... with a great deal of willpower,
I have and will desist.
Happy dressing (and stair climbing)
Caty
I think the height of everyone staircase is a little different. I think you'll find the happy spot once you get there. Assuming you aren't OCD about it.
@robertaf Thank You.. and well ya I have a tendency to be OCD good call on that. Ive always had an idea whats next , and ive been obsessing about it. I'm learning from everyone that there may not be a next step. I may just be where im at. Maybe its the top for me maybe not just be happy and enjoy the level I'm on . Cheers RC
@river This is also true about life itself. Not all of us strive for more, some are content on the first rung of the ladder. Others want to see what it looks like from the top. I 've had a lot more fun with this once I accepted it as an adventure instead of something to conquer.
@robertaf I like that spin Roberta. We don’t have to conquer everything do we? We can be pretty good and enjoy the ride and what it has to offer us.
Still, I ‘m just not gonna be happy unless I get my hair just right🥰
@gracepal Nothing wrong wit a little perfectionism us girls are hard to please sometimes..
River -
Thank you for this topic.
I crawled out of the closet about 7 years ago after being in denial most of my life. There were times that I put my toe in the water but it never felt right. Since coming out to my wife I've come to accept my feminine side and my desire to dress. As the old Virginia Slims ad said "You've come a long way baby". I went from occasional (read rarely) dressing in lingerie to dressing completely with bra, panties, garter belt and stockings or pantyhose, dresses, skirt and blouse, wigs, make up, shoes (heels, sandals, boots), pierced ears and nail polish. I don't go out dressed which isn't actually correct. I wear earrings 24/7, my toes are painted in color, fingers in clear with a pink tinge, I do on occasion wear knee high nylons with ankle boots while in drab and do sometimes underdress in panties. I don't wear make up very often, although lipstick is worn daily at least for a couple hours in the morning. I would love to go out dressed but for reasons I won't go into that isn't likely to happen.
I will never rule anything out as I've spent my life in denial and have come to realize that I am worthy of having the feelings I do. How far I take things depends on how comfortable I am in doing so. I have discussions with my wife regarding my dressing and she has become more accepting and understanding over the years. I don't know what the future holds but am excited to see where it takes me.
The climb up the stairs has been, and will continue, to be fun. Not knowing what is on the next step and beyond is part of the fun. It is up to me whether I take the next step of not which is nice. Personally I don't plan on reaching the top step as that one, in my mind is the end of my existence.
We each have our own unique journey to be enjoyed along the way. Happy dressing.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Thank You. and you absolutely hit a bullseye. The last step is when you stop living. I guess a good comparison would be when I was younger I was running up the stairs but now that im older I take them a bit slower. also I have a bad back lol.. And also now I'm learning to stop and smell the roses and dont worry about the next step just be happy where im at. Cheers RC
I know I've 'arrived' now that I'm living 24/7 as Fiona. I'm not going back down the stairs. However I'm not sure if this is the top of the stairs, or just a corner landing. I am starting to think that there may be hormones and/or surgery in my future - I'm certainly open to the idea. Although I can't see anything happening beneath the waistline from the stair where I sit at the moment.
@finallyfiona Thank You . Ive learned reading all the posts that Maybe im at my top and maybe not though the journey has been crazy For once I dont have to worry about the next step if there is one. Im just going to hang out here for a while. As you have found out , from this vantage , any decision can have a much greater impact on our life vs just deciding what to buy next or who to tell. I have considered I could be trans , I expect most have at one time or another and once you hit that level you may have a whole new floor to decorate ,put few pictures here that couch over there. lol. kind of a fun metafor 🙂 Have a great day RC
I voted "Don't Want to Think About It" because I know i am nowhere near reaching my crossdressing goals. I do know I won't be transitioning, but I do desire to create as believable a presentation as I possibly can. I like to think it's an artistic thing, and that alone keeps me going.
@krisburton Thank You. That is also whats been keeping me going. Its the art form as well. I spend hours taking pictures, fixing , taking pictures, tweaking , over and over and when I get that perfect picture I get chills everytime. Though lately The perfect picture looks just like another one I took before so I may have hit a wall. Ill hang here for a while then maybe Ill have to knock that wall down and go with an open floorplan. Cheers RC
@river This is such a good “morning coffee drinking” topic RC. I’m right there with you on the pictures. Hours to take them, hours to tweak them, content when I get one I like. And then yeah, they’re all alike pretty much. And how many pictures do we divas need of ourselves anyway? We can’t wear every outfit! When you talk about the next step what I interpret is “What else can I do now?” And I have that same question. What’s next?
I think the next step is meeting up with fellow sisters in the cult. Cultivating a few good friends. I partake in other hobbies and we certainly all don’t get along just because we participate in the same hobby. But I have a gleaned a few close friends from it and we get together regularly away from our hobby time. I think that would be a positive thing with crossdressing too, find a few good girlfriends that we share common interest with and not just crossdressing.
That said, it ain’t easy finding good friends. It IS easy finding friends, good ones, that’s another story. CDH is a good starting point in one’s search for simpatico sisters. And certainly big events like Keystone. As it draws closer I sense that it is a “must attend” for girls like us. I need to be part of a large group of men dressing as women in a public place.🥰I laugh as I type that - because it seems silly and makes no sense! Yet it’s true. And I have no answer as to the “why” of it. Because I want to is good enough.
GP
@gracepal Thank You and yes I agree meeting others is probably the next logical step. and maybe can curb my reservations about as you said being around a pile of other men in dresses . just not something I ever thought I would even consider. but here I am considering it. Cheers RC
@river The more I think about crossdressing in terms of a hobby, which for me it is, the more sense it makes to get together with other “practitioners of the art” River. Most hobbies have conventions on a regular basis, why should ours be any different?
