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How did your secret get outed? Poll is created on Jan 30, 2025

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Secret Outing

113 Posts
34 Users
114 Reactions
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Posts: 814
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

No, not that first step across the door threshold, the first bare stocking in the open visible air, but how did your secret get outed. Was it:

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112 Replies
68 Replies
(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@valentina16 

So what does being outed really mean?

I was packing for an out of town trip, and I was packing some girly things to take with me, just to wear in the hotel room.  At that time, I had never been out dressed.  My wife came home from church early, and caught me "red handed" packing a bra.  It didn't go well.

Since I was planning to go out of town for several weeks, I thought that my wife would go on a "search and destroy" mission and purge my small collection.  I had time before leaving to move most of my stuff (just a few boxes) to a storage locker.  I left a few things behind for her to find.  I decided to sacrifice a few things in the hope that she would think that she got them all.

However, I've voluntarily outed myself to numerous medical professionals, some because I thought it would help in my care, others who I thought would be accepting.  I also got caught a few times when I was asked to "Take off your shoes and socks".  I wore nail polish on my toes, and that got exposed.

That doesn't count numerous SAs, nail techs, etc.

I've also been in several local girls groups for almost 20 years, when I go out fully dressed including makeup, nail polish and a wig.  Plus, I've gone to the Keystone Conference about 11 consecutive years.  It's an opportunity to be all girl, all day and all night for 5 days and 4 nights.  Plus the opportunity to meet 600+ girls like me.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi TY. You are clearly well further along than myself on the cd route. This Keystone event seems like a nirvana. Unfortunately 4000 or so miles away from me.

I guess being outed is having your ‘secret’ known by at least one significant person in your life, be it wife, children or friend. I would not include professionals whether medical or establishment (eg priest, vicar etc) as they have a duty of trust to you.

May I ask if you are still with your wife?

And finally, apologies, but I don’t think I know what “SAs” are please?

Thank you.

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@valentina16 

Yes, still married.  She tolerates it as long as she doesn't see it.  "See no evil.  Hear no evil.  Speak no evil.  I still go out locally with one of my several local CD groups.  All she asked is when I'm coming back.  She still allows me to go to Keystone every year.

SA = Sales Associate (at a retail store).  I've had some great adventures with SAs, both dressed and in drab.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814
Duchess
(@yaellyonssea)
Joined: 6 years ago

Trusted Member     Washington, United States of America
Posts: 71

@sometimessteffi I am in a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship. It hurts not being able to share.

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@yaellyonssea 

I've gotten used to it over the last 15 years.

But, the consolation prize it this.  I go "out with the girls" a lot, and we have a lot of fun.  My wife is missing all the fun times.  I feel bad for her but it is her choice.  

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Duchess
(@yaellyonssea)
Joined: 6 years ago

Trusted Member     Washington, United States of America
Posts: 71
(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@valentina16 

There are other conventions large and small across the country.  Look at the keystone-conference.org site to see others that may be nearer to you.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi I might just make a journey across the ocean, just me n my guitar n my ‘stuff’. Let’s see.

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@valentina16 

Keystone starts March 19.  Come as you are.  I can even meet you at Washington Dulles Airport (IAD).  it's only about 2.5 hours from Harrisburg.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi TY, but my schedule is actually quite full, with my son now in Sydney, family first. 💚

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi Will do, TY 💚

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Lady
(@julie51)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 59

@sometimessteffi 

I left my bra in the bathroom and later found it on my office desk. I also was exposed wearing nail polish on my toes at the pool. Both of these experiences were uncomfortable but no one ever said anything life goes status quo.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@julie51 workplace or home bathroom and desk?

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Lady
(@julie51)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 59

@valentina16 

Hello Valentina

I left my bra in the bathroom at home it was either my wife or daughter that put it on my desk. Sorry I should have mentioned this in my post. The toe polish experience was at the health club during an aquatics exercise class.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@julie51 ty 💚

mute tolerance?

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@julie51 

It's hard to tell for sure.  If my wife (who knows about Steffi's crossdressing) found it, I think the bra would have ended up in the "burn basket".

If my daughter (who doesn't know), it would result in a very uncomfortable "talk"

As for my toe nail polish, I always wear socks at home, except in the shower.  However, I did openly wear toenail polish at my yoga class dozens of times without any issue.  It even prompted some interesting conversations with some of the yoga instructors and other GG students.  The GMs steered a wide birth, in case it was "catchies".

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Lady
(@julie51)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 59

@sometimessteffi 

Thank you Steffi, that’s the real question who doesn’t know. I have some soul searching to do. Hugs..

Julie

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi Interesting about the socks. I enjoy a bath perhaps more than a shower, and have found red scrape marks around where my feet (and red painted toe nails) have been. Perhaps I should wear socks in the bath for similar reasons. 💚

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@valentina16 

You could try ankle no-show socks, or nylon women's socks and no-show socks.  Search Macys.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@sometimessteffi I did try this, but they do change colour when wet?

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Duchess
(@yaellyonssea)
Joined: 6 years ago

Trusted Member     Washington, United States of America
Posts: 71

@julie51 I was at the doctor's office and had to take my shoes and socks off. Out come my polished toe nails. The doc and his assistant did not even react. The look on my wife's face was priceless. So funny. She was not amused.

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Lady
(@julie51)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 59

That’s something that would happen to me. Hugs..

Julie

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@valentina16   Way back, about the same time I joined CDH, my Ex caught me wearing one of her old bras and a pair of black flats setting next to me. I initially started to deny and deflect this discovery. After a short while (less than an hour) I admitted everything. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids, then threatened to tell my mother and my 4 brothers. 

Her goal was to shame me and get me to quit. I ended up telling my brothers myself, sadly my mother passed. Now today I am out presenting as Cassie full time and thrilled about it. 

Cassie 

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@loneleycd May I ask whether your wife is still with you please?

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@valentina16 We are divorced but still living in the same house. She is upstairs and I have the basement. Financially it is likely to stay this way. I know she ment this to harm me. But I am now in a place where I NEVER would have been otherwise. All my family knows, I am out at my Church and Monday I start work at Walmart as Cassie. 

Without all of this I would still be so deep in the closet. In fact the weekend after Christmas I drove my Ex to a funeral for her cousin about 5 hours away. I wore a dress both to the visitation and the funeral.

Cassie 

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@loneleycd TY for sharing. Hope it goes well at Walmart. (Are they expecting Cassie? Was it Cassie at the interview?)

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@valentina16 Oh yes. I have my name badge Cassie.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@loneleycd Super. Hope it goes well for you. Don’t forget to smile!!! 😬

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@loneleycd 

I was so excited when Steffi was offered a job at Lane Bryant.  Yes, they knew.  Steffi went to the in-person interview and was offered the job.  My wife totally blew a fuse.  I ended up declining the job for the sake of marital harmony.  Sometimes, I think that would have been the right time to cut the cord.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@loneleycd You’re a saint staying with her after a divorce where she was meaning to harm you. Hopefully she’s softened up a bit and has part of a heart. You certainly seem to have a big one.

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@gracepal It part the way I think of marriage in my head. When I said till death do us part I meant it. 

Cassie 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4024

@valentina16 My wife asked some questions. I gave her clear answers. Done.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@harriette This, my CD friend, actually seems too good to be true. However, if it is, you are most fortunate indeed.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4024

@valentina16 Well, it doesn't mean that she likes any of it, but at least some sort of tolerance can be a win in itself.

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 5 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 562

@valentina16 I decided to share but with a twist. 

I had started chatting with someone online, before I knew this site existed. We had some good chats, shared some pics. Seemed innocent enough. After they got a face pic from me, they googled my picture... found out who I am, and found my social media accounts. They then tried to blackmail me for money not to out me. I told them to go screw and I outed myself. 

It wasn't the timeline that I planned, it wasn't the way that I planned, but it got done...

Be careful out there ladies.

xoxo

Rayna

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 it is for this verrry reason I have decided not to share facial features here I’m afraid. I want to have at least some control over my journey.

TY 💚

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 5 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 562

@valentina16 whe you're ready you're ready. Nobody gets to tell you when to share that part of yourself.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@valentina16 You could post in Private Photos VV? It seems reasonably safe. (People can always take screenshots though.) I have taken some “big sunglasses” pics if I ever want to “go public” on CDH. I don’t see an upside to it though. The longer I’m here, the more I conclude that I’m doing plenty right now to satisfy my girly desires.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@gracepal Yes, I suppose I could. But a) I hate seeing myself in the mirror and similarly with photos, it just reminds me of my SOAB father and b) just like I’m unsure about internet payments and banking, it might just bite back. Let’s see.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 did you by any chance see my Q about Blackhats & Blackmail, inspired by your post here tbh. I wondered whether you wanted to share your precautionary tale. 🥹

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 5 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 562

@valentina16 I'd be happy to. Where do you want me to share it? Do you have a link to the question that you mentioned?

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 I set up a Q called Blackhats & Blackmail. No one should have to go through anything like you did 😔

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 just tagged you.

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(@sometimessteffi)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Reston, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 65

@katie71 

Oooh.  What a scumbag.  That would be really bad for me, but I'm not much of a social media person.  No Facebook, no twitter, Instagram, not much of anything.  And I like it that way.  I typically buy all of my stuff in person with cash.  Online, I use gift cards.  I have a PO Box, so nothing gets shipped to my home.  I know that Amazon lockers are the modern way to hide online purchases, but I've had a PO Box dor over 20 years now.  I'm not sure if that's safe enough, but it makes me feel safer.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@katie71 Those are good reminders to read for some of us cautious girls.

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(@mocha)
Joined: 3 years ago

Honorable Member     Brindisi- BDS, Apulia / Puglia, Italy
Posts: 644

@valentina16 My ex-wife one day discovered a suitcase of mine where I had everything I needed (clothes/underwear/tights/wigs/makeup) to feel like myself. That day was liberating for me on a psychological level and a little less on an economic level because a legal war for divorce began.
Since I have been living alone, every day lived has been a step forward to expose the real me: Greta.
Now Greta lives and works 24 hours a day dressed as she feels most comfortable and without the need to hide as has been the case for too many years. Greta lives!

Xoxo from Italy 🇮🇹

Greta🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@mocha we do live on a knife edge some of us, don’t we 😬 💚

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(@mocha)
Joined: 3 years ago

Honorable Member     Brindisi- BDS, Apulia / Puglia, Italy
Posts: 644

@valentina16 I would say that we are surrounded by ignorance.

Rampant ignorance that increases phobias and racism towards what goes outside the standards of normality defined by others.
I am a Transgender person who has fought for the recognition of her female gender identity.
I live and work as a woman, none of my students at school or university have ever shown ignorance towards me....or towards my gender identity 
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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@mocha interesting that ‘big society’ is so different from the people you meet on a day-to-day basis? 
💚

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 5 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 562

@mocha It's a sad fact that MANY of us have to face.

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@valentina16 

My ex came home early from a business meeting and caught me dressed.  It didn't go well.  The next three years were hell.  Then we divorced.

/LK

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@lizk ‘The downside’ of our journeys. Or perhaps eventually in time ‘the upside’ for you? 🤞

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@valentina16 

Getting divorced was a blessing in disguise.  In hindsight, I never should've married her.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@lizk I did sort of anticipate this reply. I hope you now have peace and comfort, en femme or otherwise. x

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@valentina16 

Well, I'm trans.  There is that.  Living authentically has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Liz xx

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Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 624

@valentina16 I didn't tell my wife before we married because I thought I would no longer dress.  That lasted for almost 4 years.  I always had the desire but did not act on it.  One day when walking home from the train after work I spotted a pair of 4 inch classic black pumps is size US11 which back in the 70's was an exceptionally large size heel.  Not only that but they were on sale for $5.  I had to have them and I stored them high on a closet shelf behind a hat box.  It didn't take two weeks before my wife found them and we had the talk.  She loved me and tried to be supportive but it was a big eck factor for her so we have had many years together of DADT.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@michellemybell Moral of the story here being that it really is all about the shoes🥰

Classic black pumps, your size, $5? Had to be done!

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Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 624

@gracepal I couldn't agree more:)

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Lady
(@candycross)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     Queensland, Australia
Posts: 314

@valentina16 l sat down with my wife and told her l wanted to wear panties and nail polish, l asked her to wear guys clothes as well. She was not interested in wearing men's clothes but was fine with me dressing up and since then we have been buying ladies clothes for me and just recently we told our son and he is fine with it

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Baroness Annual
(@lauriejp3)
Joined: 9 years ago

Eminent Member     Rio Vista, California, United States of America
Posts: 24
 

@valentina16alentina16 Oh my! I under dressed all the time. A girl who worked for me (she was 15 yrs younger) in my office did more than that. While sitting in a booth having lunch at a watering hole we all frequented she touched my thigh where the garter tab was. She leaned near to me and whispered "I Know". Tracing her finger over the tab with a smile I told her "it's not what you think". After work we returned to the bar and she was quite open telling me that she observed me several times thinking that I had a bra under my suit coat that the outline just showed. "You must show me, let's go out to the car". She again traced her finger over the strap and tab. That began a two year adventure with her asking me to wear something she could guess what I was wearing. Of course in her apartment things progressed nicely with the both of us completely committed to me being her girlfriend. long term things did not work out and she moved to another state. I sometimes was terrified that others would know what we were up to. All that while she was quite discrete about us.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@lauriejp3 Truly like a beautiful dream!! 💚☺️💚

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Lady
(@lisadouglas)
Joined: 6 months ago

Estimable Member     Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 47

@lauriejp3 Ooh La La

Lisa Douglas

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@lauriejp3 Thats hot right there Laurie😍

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(@davinaes)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     El Segundo, California, United States of America
Posts: 73

@valentina16

The first time I “outed” myself was when I told my girlfriend (now wife) I crossdressed. It was after our third or fourth date and I really fell for her. Figured she should know before we dated for a long time and then discovered it.  The second time was when a pet sitter found my thigh high boots. She had a bit of an alternative side to her and my wife was okay with me telling her after she asked about the boots.  The third time was when my wife and I told friends of ours hoping it would help them with their marriage. The wife caught him dressing in lingerie and threw him out of their house. He ended up at our place for a few months while they attempted to work things out. After discussing the idea of “outing myself” to them with my wife, we decided to tell them hoping if they knew I dressed, and my wife accepted it and helped me, it might get them to start finding a common point to start the discussion of fixing their marriage. He moved back in with her, but after a few more months, they filled for divorce. 

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@davinaes Quite a valiant attempt to help a friend. Perhaps he found better freedom in the end. Still see him?

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(@davinaes)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     El Segundo, California, United States of America
Posts: 73

@valentina16 

No, we no longer see them.  He was from Sweden and moved back home. She moved too and did not send us her new address. It’s a shame. 

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Posts: 1172
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

I came out to my SO to be faithful only all you ladys here are the only others that know me as Erin can’t thank you all enough 

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Posts: 17
Guest
(@Anonymous 98283)
Active Member
Joined: 1 month ago

Tis better to come clean than to be outed.

What's funny is when someone tries to out you, after you're already out.

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2 Replies
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

Pray, tell more… 💚

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1041

@valentina16 Srsly, I want to hear more as well…

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Posts: 77
(@mirandam)
Estimable Member     Bay Area, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 months ago

In theory I told my spouse (which I should have done a while back).

but she had thought something was a bit off with me for a while and didn’t really push on it.  Or at least in a way I was ready to address.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@mirandam They are more savvy than we might think.

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Posts: 281
(@coloradog1)
Honorable Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Never been caught to this day. I was always careful when I was younger. And now I live alone so there’s no one to catch me 

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Posts: 1841
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

There are 5 people who know me that have met Anna and probably about another 10 who know me and know about Anna.

I'm not likely to change that much at the moment and won't be telling family.

Hugs,

Anna xx

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@annaredhead Yes, I resonate. A small circle. 💚

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I decided to take the gamble and tell someone as I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. It could have gone any way but it went the good way turning out to be the best thing I could have done as it paved the way for progress.

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Posts: 1464
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I came out to my partner and family last Easter, then various friends, and finally everywhere else in my life including work, last July.  Now I live as Fiona 24/7.  Best thing I ever did 🙂

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@finallyfiona I just couldn’t 😔

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Posts: 37
Lady
(@dee2)
Trusted Member     Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 3 weeks ago

I told a few trusted family members. It went well. I have other family members and friends who would not understand in the least.

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Posts: 9
Lady
(@shortskirtslonglegs)
Active Member     Leicester, Leicestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

Not actually been outed yet - though it's been a close run thing on many an occasion, usually because I've gone and left a pair of tights on the bedroom floor...  In fact, it's happened so many times now that I'm wondering if - subconciously - I'm just trying to get caught?  Alice XXX

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@shortskirtslonglegs Yes, I’m very much on the same page. My CD exploits are becoming more functional than secret it seems. I don’t flaunt but I don’t particularly hide things either. Just wanting it to be my natural, comfortable in my own skin, self. 💚

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Posts: 1111
Lady
(@wendyswift)
Noble Member     Alberta, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

I finally decided to introduce my wife to wendy a while back.

After reading numerous posts on various CD forums, the gist I got was it isn't a matter if you'll get caught but when. 

I don't regret the introduction, best decision I made regarding my CDing.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@wendyswift I took the same wise step. Well, I almost did. But enough on that. 💚

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Posts: 830
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Many years ago, my now wife and I were having a boozy lunch with friends. It was in a pub in Cardiff when wages were playing Scotland at rugby. It was a very busy pub, and a lot of Brains SA was drank (look it up) . We were all a bit intoxicated to say the least. Suddenly my wife said "he likes to dress in women's clothes. He does it regularly". No warning. No preamble. Just straight out with it. I'm not gonna lie, I was ever so slightly annoyed at this. My deepest secret just blurted out. At this time, no one knew. It was a total black out. This nearly split us up. I was absolutely livid, and seriously annoyed that she could just tell without even a warning. It took me a long time to trust her again. 

As it happens, it friends were supportive, the wife more than the husband. He was OK, but didn't want to ever see me in girl mode. It was many years later (two years ago) that he got to meet Cerys. This by accident, and he was fine with it. 

Other than once going to work with lipstick on, I've never been outed. 

Cerys 

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@dazzler Wow. That’s a definite “wow!”. Though from what I’ve seen at various rugby functions in the changing rooms and on rugby (mainly vet) tours, cross dressing was almost a prerequisite, so taken in their stride perhaps. I remember the chairman on tour dropping his John Bull outfit trousers (in the airport departure lounge no less) to display lovely well fitting (ie not his beautifully petite wife’s!) black stockings and suspender (garter) belt. He then went on to make everyone take off their shoes and socks (sooo glad I wasn’t wearing my tights) and painted everyone’s toenails bright red with varnish. Of course, none of us had (or at least admitted to having) nail varnish remover, so it was a slightly awkward conversation when we eventually returned home to ask our good lady if we could borrow hers. Happy days. 💚

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Posts: 508
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

None of the above.  My ex snooped on my IPad and saw am photo of me dressed.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@kerrismith the word ‘ex’ perhaps tells the rest of the story. Whether another physical woman or just (?) an inner ‘woman’ within ourselves, partners do pick up telltale changes.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

My wife has always known, so that has never been an issue. The few others that know are people I told., so to my knowledge no one knows whom I have not already told. If others find out, so be it. I am doing nothing wrong or to ashamed of. I just happen to like to dress...there are worse things in tthis world.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@jjandme Absolutely. 💚☺️💚

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Posts: 471
Lady
(@krisburton)
Prominent Member     The Hub City, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I voted "decided to share". The only person I've ever felt the need to come out to is my wife. I did so about two weeks after I began active crossdressing. The stress of hiding was just too much. I  am so glad I didn't sell her short, as her acceptance and even encouragement has allowed my femme persona to flourish. However, even if she was not  I know it was the right thing to do as the hiding and feeling of "cheating" would have proved toxic for us both and pulled us apart eventually.

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2 Replies
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@krisburton TY, 💚

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 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 2172

@krisburton 

This is so true. While my wife has been aware of my dressing from the start, it was a slow evolution from just panties to fully en femme over many years. As I experimented with new things I didn't rush to tell her as I got a feel for the changes. The time between adding things like a dress or forms and telling her were always a bit stressful, but once I settled i to each new item and found it was part of me I just told her and life was always beter for it. No need to hide things, no need to sneak about.

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