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If you have an accepting spouse or significant other, do you still sometimes find it awkward or embarrassing to dress in front of them? Poll is created on Dec 03, 2023

  
  

Sometimes Awkward or Embarrassing

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Posts: 95
Lady
Topic starter
(@kpl58)
Estimable Member     Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Despite having an accepting wife, I still sometimes find it awkward or embarrassing to dress in front of her. This is the case for you as well? If so, what is it that makes you feel that way?

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51 Replies
15 Replies
(@cdashley)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1208

@kpl58  Ok so I’m not the only one then. I never have a problem being dressed in front of her but I times when I’m dressing or undressing I do feel a little uncomfortable. I’ll be fresh out of the shower in our room getting dressed and if she walks in while I have my panties on and starting to put on my bralette I can feel weird or uncomfortable. Or if I’m sitting on the edge of the bed putting my pantyhose on and she comes in. Same in the evening if she is already in bed but not asleep and I come in to remove my under things and put my nightie on.

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(@tubbydullard)
Joined: 9 months ago

Reputable Member     Citrus hills, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 215

@cdashley  encouragement:

Get over it, its worth the freedom, and trust, with her.

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Lady
(@mullerleena)
Joined: 2 years ago

Trusted Member     Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 80

@cdashley exactly what I was going to write.

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Lady
(@stephaniewyo)
Joined: 2 years ago

Honorable Member     Wyoming, United States of America
Posts: 416

Kathrine,  I have a supportive wife but still feel awkward at times especially when she is in the bedroom while I am dressing.  Especially when putting on a bra and/or a thong.  She doesnt understand why anyone would wear either garment.  She may chuckle a bit but is not negative or anything.. but still

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Lady
(@dallen)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     Texas, United States of America
Posts: 114

@stephaniewyo I have the same issue with my wife, She is super supportive of my dressing but does not understand how I can wear thongs, she absolutely hates them, would not wear them and has told me she would go commando before she did. We have a running joke about wearing bras, she gets home and can't wait to take if off while I am running in to put mine on.

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Lady
(@lesliekvin)
Joined: 7 years ago

Eminent Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 42

@stephaniewyo  Sounds like my wife. I feel the same way. Nice to share the feeling with someone else

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 4 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 546

@kpl58 I definiately feel this way. I am sure that, at times, I'm projecting my worries onto them... But there are days that I DEF get the feeling that she just isn't in the mood for Rayna... 

When that happens it makes me even more likely to worry about the NEXT time I want to dress.

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Lady
(@lisa55)
Joined: 2 years ago

Honorable Member     Gloucester, Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 494

@kpl58 yes, Even though she has been very accepting of me I do find at times I am a bit modest when undressing in front of her, or sometimes even dressing. I guess it’s due to years of hiding away. Sometimes when I’m dressed and she’s coming home from being out I have a moment of hesitation, then I’m fine. Her seeing me in my Panties has never bothered me as I have been wearing them for a while. But like many others it’s different when slipping on a bra or into pantyhose. But then again, I am starting to feel normal when dressing in front of her too. She has helped me a lot in my dressing styles and make-up and doesn’t mind me dressed up at all. Lots of times when we go shopping we both will buy something new. My wife always finds a nice top or jewelry for me. Last time out she bought me my LBD (little black dress) as a Christmas present! She informed me every woman needs one. A time before that she bought me a sparkling Holliday blouse. (We’ll have are own private bash!) I believe she would rather see me as her girlfriend, more so than a husband, at times 🥹.

I only revealed myself to her 3 months ago, so I’m sure over time I will lose any of my shyness of getting dressed or undressed in her presence. 

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Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2471

@kpl58 

 I got over that quite a long time ago now and when I get some new clothes which happens too often, she loves the little fashion I put on! My wife is amazing helping me with zippers and other little things I need to keep Amy looking good!

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Lady
(@marina1220)
Joined: 5 months ago

Eminent Member     denver, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 11

@kpl58 When my wife first realized my feminine side and need to dress she was immediately supportive. We were having dinner one evening in a restaurant when she leaned forward and asked me "so sweetie, how long have you wanted to be a woman?" I was so caught off guard I was speechless and finally ended up mumbling something. She reached across the table, held my hand and said "it's okay sweetie, I guessed a while ago." The next day while I was at work she replaced all of my male underwear with a draw full of panties. At first, like everyone, I was embarrassed to get dressed in front of her but very quickly this disappeared. She was so cool about it that it become normal.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 10 months ago

Noble Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1738

@kpl58 Writers here have used lots of words to describe how they feel while getting dressed or undressed in front of their wife / SO. Embarrassed, uncomfortable, awkward, weird, modest, worried, wary, hesitant.

Are all of these just word substitutions for feeling guilty?

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(@christineth)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Brussels, Brabant, Belgium
Posts: 361

@kpl58 I feel fine being dressed in front of my wife and indeed even getting dressed in front of my wife.  I know, I know, I am sooooo lucky with my wife.  But then I am dressed most of the time when at home, including at night time when we go to sleep, so we are both very used to it and it has simply become the norm in our lives.

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Duchess
(@flatlander48)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Cathedral City, California, United States of America
Posts: 1336

@kpl58 For me, after 9 years it still feels a bit odd GETTING dressed in front of my wife, but not BEING dressed in font of her. That’s always been OK. It’s just the in between time that is strange. It’s a bit like pulling the curtain back while the actors and props are being repositioned.

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(@davinaes)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     El Segundo, California, United States of America
Posts: 36

@kpl58 I'm glad to see there are others who feel the same way.  When I started to dress more openly in front of my wife, there were times when I was very nervous.  I had this fear she would get mad or even depressed with my dressing.  Thankfully we talked about it and she consistently reassured me as long as we communicated and I did not cross certain boundaries, she didn't have an issue with me dressing.  She was clear she sees me as her husband dressed in women's clothing and not as Davina. I have no desire to try and convince her to see me as Davina.   I also have to say that as my style has started to transform into something more age appropriate, I have become more comfortable dressing in front of my wife.

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(@vespa1980)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member     Dekalb, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 4

@kpl58 hard to say. I love my wife so much and yes I dress around her and my kids often but usually with our makeup. When I do it does feel a little strange but she supports me. This is a me thing I have to learn to get over.

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Posts: 326
Lady
(@krisburton)
Reputable Member     Northern, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Katherine - I'm glad to find out I am not alone in this! My wife is fully accepting and supportive, yet I remain rather shy about certain aspects of my CDing. I'm OK with being en femme in her presence, that has eased since our earliest days. However, I am always wary of my clothing and makeup choices, making sure that I do not push whatever boundaries remain too far or too fast. I feel as long as my choices around her are tasteful and not overtly sexy I know I am OK.That is part of my feminine persona anyway, so it's all good. Still,  a part of me wants to go further and I often look at and consider garments that are a bit more revealing.  I asked her to tell me when I have gone too far, and she can and has in a gentle way. It has never been a problem but the couple of times that has happened have felt real uncomfortable, so I exercise caution.

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Posts: 189
(@caroline2k)
Reputable Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Yes I feel a little this way too. Despite full acceptance, support and encouragement of my partner, I can sometimes feel a little self-conscious. 

She tells me that I should wear what I want and it doesn't matter what she might think of the clothes, not being to her taste and so forth, but I think that somewhere deep down there still lurks that idea that says: "Men don't wear that", or something; it's very hard to put my finger on why, but it is there. I feel very comfortable in most of what I wear in front of her, but occasionally I feel a little kittenish when I first make an entrance, and some items I'd love to try I know I would feel quite awkward in. 

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Posts: 431
Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Prominent Member     Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

I had a very antagonistic ex-wife. She would either harshly criticize me or harbor those sentiments silently for a while and then blast me all at once - and not even in solely relation to dressing, even.

When I met the current GF (of 9yrs), my habits were ingrained. Even though I'd disclosed my CDing early on and she'd expressed no problems at all - full support, even - I had hesitations about just being open with it. Sometimes I would be dressed when she got home from work, and undress so she wouldn't know.

However, eventually I tested the waters and found that she did trust me and so I could trust her. Now, it's just a small sliver of our life and she doesn't bat an eye about it. 🙂

I think the key is just being open and honest about what it means to you and helping her understand that so her brain doesn't go off wandering in to Mistrustville.

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1 Reply
Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Joined: 6 years ago

Honorable Member     United States of America
Posts: 430
Posts: 42
Lady
(@emily2day)
Trusted Member     DFW, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Although it hasn't always been this way, in the last couple of years I do not feel uncomfortable dressing in any form in front of my wife. we go shopping with me in male mode and I will try on clothes for her opinion. Just yesterday we were in a resale store and she saw a cute top out-loud and in front of everyone she said "this would look cute on you"

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2 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 10 months ago

Noble Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1738

@emily2day My wife did something like that one time when we were in a food store with her holding up a cucumber. 🤪 It's a good thing that I was one isle over

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Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Joined: 6 years ago

Honorable Member     United States of America
Posts: 430

@emily2day My wife has done that also-- within earshot of other people.

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Posts: 90
Lady
(@cdgabrielle)
Estimable Member     Wesson, Mississippi, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

There is always that uncomfortable first moment of my wife seeing me in fem. I worry she won't be accepting still or she will react poorly. But for the past 10 years are so as long as I don't hide it she normally will laugh and either make a comment about looking sexy or give me her opinion on my look.

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Posts: 17
Lady
(@billyboygirl)
Eminent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

This remains a crucial question and challenge for me.

I've been married for over 40 years, told my wife before we were married and then went mostly DADT for decades. We're both retired so I now crossdress mainly when my wife is in her office doing work or when she is out. Not totally of sure of the reasons my reluctance to dress in front of her but very grateful for the progress, overall.

I'll turn 63 soon and want to to be more open and less secretive, but we'll see...

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Posts: 594
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Honorable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Even though my wife is accepting, it is not her thing nor does anything for her.  I think it is more of my issue of her seeing me dressed even though she knows I primarily wear panties, bralette and cami daily and a baby doll to bed a number of nights

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Posts: 703
Baroness Annual
(@carolyn)
Prominent Member     Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

We had “The Talk” over 15 years ago, and still I find myself just a little uncomfortable getting femme dressed in front of her. It doesn’t make sense, she buys a lot of my clothes for me, she has even bought me items and told me they try them on to see if they fit as soon as she brings them in the house. I guess I just get thinking it is too good to be true, and waiting for her to say enough is enough. Perhaps a bit of paranoia and lack of femme self esteem, lol.

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Posts: 42
Lady
(@audreyw)
Trusted Member     Savana, Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

My sympathies to anyone who still from time to time may feel uneasy dressing in front of their wives. As those who have read any of my posts or replies know, my wife it mostly responsible for my dressing, so for myself,  I never feel awkward dressing in front of her.  In fact,  I really quite enjoy it.  I found out some time ago, this is actually a turn on for her and it makes me feel incredibly sexy that she enjoys picking out my outfits and watching as I dress.

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2 Replies
Lady
(@opaldreams)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     Isle of Iona, United Kingdom
Posts: 141

@audreyw 

 

I'm also fortunate in that there is no awkward feeling when I get dressed in front of my partner - we quite often dress in the same room at the same time. In fact , I do get a little tingle when I do get dressed in front of her , not necessarily sexual, but more satisfaction that we are comfortable enough in our relationship to share that .

i do feel for girls here with partners that don’t have that level of confidence in this situation and can only hope that , in time, it becomes easier x

 

 

 

 

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(@tubbydullard)
Joined: 9 months ago

Reputable Member     Citrus hills, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 215

@audreyw 

The wife and I go shopping together & at 2nd hand/resale.shops.even share dressing rooms, trying on skirts or dresses. She is so supportive at such times I feel as if we are sisters. And loving it.

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Posts: 96
(@fundle)
Estimable Member     Lebanon, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

I'm very lucky in that my SO is supportive of my dressing. She knew I was a crossdresser before we ever met (9 years ago), and she understood/understands it is highly unlikely that will ever change. I've purchased most of my own clothes, but she has also bought several dresses, nighties, and a couple of bras and panties for me over the years. She's seen me naked, fully dressed, and every stage in between on pretty much a daily basis for most of our relationship. I have nothing to hide from her, so no reason to be uncomfortable dressing or undressing in front of her. I'm also a bit of an exhibitionist, so I love when she sees me naked or watches me getting dressed or undressed. 

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Posts: 1738
Lady
(@harriette)
Noble Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 10 months ago

I voted no because I want her to get used to me being dressed, so I don't actually hide while dressing or undressing.

That being said, she doesn't need to know everything right now. I want to keep some mystery going, too, so, for example, sometimes I will slip some extra padding in when she isn't looking, to help with shape illusions.

As Momma used to say, "keep them coming back for more".

She still pokes fun at me dressing, sometimes even physically, but she hasn't really gotten upset, yet, either. I count that as a win.

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Posts: 1163
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I must admit that there are times I can get a bit nervous dressing in front of my wife. For a long time she didn't want to see me dressed. Over time (years) she came to accept this part of me. She doesn't necessarily embrace it but will help me with shopping, picking out what to wear, applying make up and styling my wig. It doesn't happen very often but when it does I spend the day with her dressed. Later in the day I will start to get nervous thinking she has had enough of me bring dressed and will go to change. When I do she says I don't have to, but to keep things okay with her I don't push it. There have been times I have gone out underdressed in panties, whether she knew or not I don't know but nothing has ever been said. I take my lead from her and as a result things have progressed nicely in my opinion.

XOXO
Suzanne

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1 Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 10 months ago

Noble Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1738

@cdsue How far have you gone dressed in public? If you have only underdressed, may I suggest getting some androgynous outer clothes, too? There are lots of choices when it comes to shirts and pants, so long as the sizing is right. Shirt sleeves, shirt length, inseam lengths can be harder for tall people, but some stores, such as Old Navy, have some in tall sizes.

Some recent finds (on sale) are some great quality checked shirts in warm colours from L. L. Bean; a long enough pullover from MUJI; even long, tight skinny Calvin Klein jeans. Just enough to be androgynous and disguising, but feminine enough to keep people guessing. These are good quality clothes that should stay in fashion for a long time, but they can be worn in public without grabbing a lot of attention. Try it, Suzanne!

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Posts: 364
Duchess
(@susantalbot)
Reputable Member     Denton, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

For me it’s a No although I think it’s evolved over time.  

We now go out together in girl mode and we went in girl mode to the Lake Erie gala so she got to be with Susan for the week.  my Fiancée is totally accepting and enjoys my feminine side.  I 

Susan

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Posts: 118
Duchess
(@briannabay)
Estimable Member     westlake, Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

My wife tells me to go put on a skirt, Brianna is much more layed back, fun, easy going, that's how you, we, us, encourage the change to our inner feminine side, just don't ever be a B.... and life WILL be wonderful..

Xx

Brianna

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