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It's expensive to look good!
Today's visit to the nail salon got me thinking about the monthly fixed expenses to maintain my appearance. This is what I spend every month on what I consider to be 'the essentials'. I'm NOT counting discretionary purchases like clothing and shoes.
My nail salon visit left me $150 poorer. But my hands and feet look fabulous! Gel nail polish is amazing!
Brow tint and wax....around $65.
Various makeup and skin care products....around $60.
HRT....hey that counts for A LOT!....around $15
Those are monthly expenses to keep my face, hands and feet looking good. Almost $300.
Then there's my hair. I visit the hair salon every 2-3 months.
I'm in need of a hair color. My gray roots are showing. That'll set me back around $120. But I'm nearly settled on balayage. Way nicer look and less maintenance. That'll set me back around $300. With balayage I might be able to stretch my salon visits to every 4-6 months.
Colored hair needs special shampoo and conditioner. The stuff I use costs $90 and lasts about 3 months.
Average monthly hair expenses....$80 - $105.
All total I'm looking at around $400 a month in fixed expenses. I think that's comparable to what a lot of career oriented cis-women spend. And I expect that's considerably more than y'all spend. Unless you're trans. Let's hear about it!
/LK
@emilyalt
Liz, I chose less than $50 or equivalent in £'s or fine Scottish turnips.
May I suggest the option to add "so far" as I think there's a distinct possibility that figure may be about to increase.....
Allie x
You're probably right about the additional outlay Allie! And you can't put a price on happiness!
Unfortunately polls can't be edited. You're stuck with what's there.
/LK
@emilyalt
Liz, I see what you mean, my wife and I were shopping earlier and she helped me to choose, concealer, foundation, blusher, mascara and eye shadows, £50! And three of them were half price. But, I'm worth it 😊.
Allie x
Yes you are Allie! Every one of us is worth it! Like I said before, you can't put a price on happiness!
/LK
I don't call that 'cheap' Jacqui. I call it a responsible spend for your situation.
/LK
@emilyalt
Currently I will spend $160+ on my hair coloring or 50 to 140 on my nails. I will think that is way to much and not get them done when I probably should. Then there is my facial skin care and my makeup, average 60 to 160 a month. That has gone up a little since I ordered the wonderskin lip stain and I have been wearing it to work everyday.
I am sure when I make my next jump toward Cassie I will go from an average of 3 to 5 hundred a month to 6 to 8 hundred a month.
Cassie
Eek Cassie! I created those last two slots thinking nobody would go there.
I'm trying hard to not crest $500/month. If that starts to look like the new norm, I'll look into permanent makeup. Spendy up front but cheaper in the long run.
/LK
@emilyalt
Well. It all depends on what tense we're talking.
Past tense: before joining CDH (on 1st July last year) I used to OCCASIONALLY shave my legs and OCCASIONALLY put on nail varnish. That was it. Total spend on looking good ... perhaps £20 a decade.
Present tense: now I've been on the site for almost twelve months things have very definitely changed. I'm hair free (except my head, thankfully) but of course that means I have to buy Venus Embrace razors, and Aloe Vera shave gel, and Sanctuary Spa body butter (other brands are available). I've invested in makeup after signing up for Lucille Sorella's course - to the extent that I've had to buy a special make-up organiser and a roll for all the brushes. Even so ... monthly outlay is still less than £40. I'm growing my hair out, but I only have to visit the hairdressers once every two months and they charge me less than the going rate since they say that all they're doing is 'trimming' rather than styling and my hair seems to have it's own plans for how it's going to look. Still ... no need for a wig 🙂
Future tense: I have a professional makeover scheduled in late July. I have a sense that this will be a gamechanger. Once I see what's possible, I think I'm going to develop a makeup addiction. My monthly costs could soar to the point at which I'm existing without heating or food just in order to purchase that next tube of lipstick. I'll be homeless, but beautifully made up and manicured, and hustling for mascara on street corners. Potential monthly costs: 10-15K.
Ellie x
It does depend on what tense we're talking. I answered for today.
I know I couldn't have managed on a paltry £2 a year in the past. My skin care alone cost twice that in a month.
Yes, there are girls that develop a makeup addiction. If that's you, I don't see a tent in your future. You'll find yourself a rich spouse! Or you'll settle into a frugally chic lifestyle like most women!
/LK
@emilyalt
I might already classify as 'Frugally Chic' 🙂
I would add the relevant letters after my name to emphasise that, were it not for the fact that I would then be Ellie Davis FC and I don't want loads of football supporters turning up in my garden every Saturday afternoon.
I would add the relevant letters after my name to emphasise that, were it not for the fact that I would then be Ellie Davis FC
Chic frugale? Ellie Davis CF?
/LK
Given your scientific skills surely you are well into manufacturing your own makeup 😀 . But be aware of the exploding lipstick ...
In Chemistry lessons over the years* I've made soap, lipstick, rouge, moisturiser, face cream, body butter and various perfumes 🙂
Perfumes are especially fun - attempting to create the perfect 'chord' from a selection of base notes, middle notes and top notes.
When I've run outreach sessions for other local schools, the boys have usually enjoyed the chemistry involved just as much as the girls.
So far nothing that we've made has exploded, but of course there are still another five days to go.
Ellie x
*Thirty of them 😮
the boys have usually enjoyed the chemistry involved just as much as the girls.
Were there different sets of likes and dislikes?
I very much enjoyed my chemistry classes. But we never got to make anything. The closest I came to 'making' anything was the time I stumbled upon 'fart from a flask' in organic chemistry. It cleared the lab in seconds!
/LK
@emilyalt
Boys like making perfumes, which requires an element of trial and error.
Girls are, on the whole, superior with anything that involve careful measurement ... and mixing small quantities of things in precise ways rather than simply sloshing everything together in a glass beaker 🙂
Another way of saying that is: 'girls tend to think about what they're doing in advance, while boys tend to rush in and hope for the best.'
I presume the product of 'fart from a flask' is hydrogen sulphide, which is the classic stink bomb? It's the smell of rotten eggs.
Incidentally, there's a really good stink bomb recipe involving aluminium cooking foil and Sharpies 🙂
Ellie x
Incidentally, there's a really good stink bomb recipe involving aluminium cooking foil and Sharpies
That sounds like a fun experiment....far away from any hospitable dwellings! I presume it doesn't attract flies?
/LK
be aware of the exploding lipstick ...
Good point! I'll buy my own for any future trips!
/LK
@ellyd22 be careful Ellie, the professional makeovers get addicting!! I dress about every three months, so I splurge and get a professional makeover when I do. I love sitting in the chair, preferably at the salon, and just either getting to know the HMU artist or catching up with the ones where I am returning.
what I have found is when getting one, it is not usually a teaching experience. I like the unveiling moment when they are done.
there are options where it’s a makeup lesson, which I have also done once. Next time I would like to try a version of the season where the MU artist does one side of face and you do the other. This is the best way to learn for me! And I was also realization that I had been doing my makeup completely wrong!!
@ellyd22 Ellie your future tense scenario, which i hope doesnt actually happen; except for the looking beautiful part, was hilarious. You definitely know how to paint a picture with words. Although Im at a stage of rarely getting full makeup on. I to can feel an addiction to makeup potential. There are just too many cool looks.
@emilyalt I have no particular structure. There is a lot of variance so it could be as little as $50 in a month or as much as $400…
@emilyalt I smiled when I saw this topic, remembering how some time ago I commented on this platform about the financial costs of being or becoming a woman.
In reply to your question regarding fixed monthly expenditure on beauty products/routines, my answer is "not enough".
Over the last 3 to 4 years, I have generally spent much more on my female wardrobe than the male one (which consists of a handful of trousers and shirts for my work environment). I have spent quite generously though on dresses, skirts, lingerie, shoes, blouses - and even a set of breastforms and a wig.
I am not yet in the habit of routinely buying skin and nailcare products or makeup and I really should.
My late wife - who was "in" on my female alter ego - was also a self-taught beauty and make-up expert and always had at her disposal a vast collection of beauty products that would satisfy any professional salon's requirements.
She regularly transformed me into the woman I feel I am deep inside but after her passing seven years ago, I realized that I had neither taste nor skill in the gentle art of makeover and gradually I allowed this element to fade.
I do visit a salon in my neighbourhood for the odd facial treatment or mani/pedi, but much too sporadically.
Finally, I wish I had the circumstances (or indeed, the courage) to go all the way as you have and completely live my life as a woman.
I know the financial costs of living as a woman have come up before. I'm not sure anyone has looked specifically at fixed costs.
I said this is 'the price of beauty'. And while that's true, there's more to it than that. It's the 'price of being me'. What it costs to feel good about myself. Or perhaps more accurately....the cost of living authentically.
I transitioned because I was desperate for a happy life. It doesn't feel particularly courageous. I made the only reasonable choice for my circumstances. Zero regrets.
/LK
@emilyalt
Hi Liz, I am a bit late responding to this poll but here goes:
I am crossdressed almost every day, but with me it is all about the joy of being able to wear female clothing rather than an intention to live as a woman full time or a desire to transition. But of course I feel it is important to give a reasonable presentation as female rather than to appear too obviously as a 'man in a dress', so I do not need to spend a vast amount to keep myself beautiful.
My main costs now are hair (which is moderately long and I go to a good hairdresser every 6 weeks) and waxing (every 2-3 months). Apart from that there is a reasonable cost on items such as moisturiser, lipsticks, concealer etc. I have not yet got into spending money on nails, but since I need to present as male on various occasions I probably won't start that ... at least not yet!
I haven't done a careful analysis of the costs but a quick estimate puts me in the £50 - £100 group.
BUT that is dwarfed by what I have spent on clothes and shoes; however I see this expenditure as a long term investment that will eventually settle down to a much lower wardrobe turnover cost (I hope!).
Rebecca xxx
A couple of points stick out.
Long hair is more expensive to care for. I'm in that boat too.
Then there's clothing. Most girls probably wouldn't consider that a big monthly expense. At least not once they have a wardrobe that meets their needs. But the upfront cost is very high.
That's where I'm at right now. I have a lot of clothes that don't really meet my needs. And I don't have enough of the clothes that work for me. I need more variety too. So I'm shopping. Like you, I see it as a long-term investment.
/LK
@LizK I am still buying some clothes and shoes, but that is about it, so I said less than $100/month.
@LizK It certainly can get pricey but I consider it an investment in myself and like they say in the commercial, I'm worth it!! I have gone too many years without doing and buying the thing that I always craved that I am not going to deprive myself now that I have accepted my femininity.
@lizk Hey Liz! Hope this reply finds you well.
I chose the first option, less than $50 a month. I try to find clothes from charity shops or eBay, as in the past I’ve found some brilliant clothes. I’ve always wanted to challenge myself to put together outfits and looks. Last month, my wife booked me a mani and pedi appointment which was an amazing experience. I got gels like you, in colour that was universally panned but I didn’t care about that. It cost me £70 but felt it was worth the money, if nothing else for the service and experience x
@lizk If I didnt have to weld steel all day 6am to 5pm my expenses for looking good would probably be around $500-600. Not talking clothes either. As opposed to when I was a novice, I have money now (not a shit ton but I get what I want) I use to word shit ton alot. Its an actual measure of weight , a little less than an actual ton. Look it up. 😉 I cant get to the salon and painting my sexy toes has (along with age) introduced me to muscle cramps in places I never knew existed! Lol. Xoxoxo Stacey
You'll have something to look forward to when the time comes to hang up your helmet! Hope you can make it to the nail salon someday!
/LK
I've never given it much thought as I don't spend much. My wife and I go for mani-pedi's every couple months which is about $175 for both of us. We usually get gel, she does color on both fingers and toes, I do color on my toes in the winter and clear during sandal season, my fingers I get clear with a pink tint throughout the year. I unfortunately don't wear much make up so don't spend a lot on that. It's kind of funny me having make up is a plus for my wife as there have been times she has not had something and used mine. We do share clothes also.
XOXO
Suzanne
I think it's pretty cool that you and your wife visit the nail salon together! Gel is awesome! Doesn't fade. Doesn't chip. Worth the extra spend IMO.
/LK
@cdsue You are lucky to have such a supportive SO. I’ve been a CD for years and my wife is finally getting more comfortable with me. It’s been a challenge.
Hi Liz,
Averaged out ? I think less than 50 for me. I don't do much makeup so it lasts forever. My last 'expensive' visit to tame my hair was some time ago and still only 50 ish. I have a nail session once in a while and it's lovely, but usually I look after my own nails. Varnishes / lippy - I've a good choice and not looking like I'll be running out soon. Perfume - used sparingly, and as for creams and hair products, the local supermarket does for me.
My biggest expense is when I treat myself to a make over.
But as a retired and older private dresser, there's an element of 'chalk and cheese'. It's not as if I'm out and about and spending to look good every day.
I realise that even taking the odd buying splurge into account, it's not much at all. Even so, I'm running out of wardrobe / drawer space. Meanwhile I enjoy at least three other, separate activities in my life, all of which I spend considerably much more on ...
Thanks for your perspective Emma. It wasn't that long ago when my own monthly outlay paled in comparison to today. Maybe $50/month....like most girls that've responded. I was very part time and didn't have many opportunities to go all out.
The interesting thing for me is I was still spending a fair amount of money on other activities. Things I don't do much anymore. I now devote a significant amount of time on the things I listed. That's the other 'price' of beauty - TIME!
/LK
@emilyalt
That's true. Time, or how we spend it, I suspect, and not just money, is a very good indicator of what we value in life.
@LizK You’re in the money Liz! Time is money. I voted for $150 a month but I spend an inordinate amount of time sculpting the woman from of my male body. Its not that I can’t or won’t spend the money going to salons and spas, it just that I prefer to do myself such as my nails, skin care, makeup, hair removal, and so on. I am fortunate to have the luxury of time to do these things. If I was paying others to do these things it would cost me a fortune! 😉
Ermmmm, I'll admit to having spent rather a lot recently 😳 But it seems like I'm in this for the long haul and a lot of it's been 'set-up' sort of things.
Teeth whitening, glasses for Fiona for all-day use with a separate pair for screen work, and my first good quality wig have set me back over £1000 between them.
Then you might add on the recent makeover at Femme Side that introduced me to the wig in the first place. And going back to Easter, the cosmetics I bought at my first makeover in a big Boots store to start me off. Between those, that's half as much again.
But what a difference it's all made! I love how I feel as Fiona now and don't regret any of it 😊
I do think if I were to stay living as Fiona, I'd have my brows and nails done regularly too. But for the time being I still need to be able to present fully in drab.
Agree. Getting started, you'll have more and bigger expenses.
A full makeup kit....even with inexpensive drugstore brands....can set you back $200. And when you're learning, you tend to waste a lot of product.
If you have long hair, it has to be cared for. And if it's been colored, you need special products. Unless you're lucky, it takes some trial and error to find the right hair care products. Quality hair care products are pricey.
And if you get any cosmetic work done such as teeth whitening or laser hair removal, the startup costs can skyrocket. I didn't even consider what I spent on hair removal because it was so long ago. It was in the thousands.
But as you said, what a difference it's all made! I don't regret any of it either. I can't put a price tag on my mental and emotional well-being.
/LK
Hi Liz, I'm not full time en femme so I end up spending a lot on redoing what I just had done. I also love the girly stuff. Between the nails, makeovers, lotions and creams it adds up fast. It's all worth it when I look in the mirror and see the women inside me.
Totally agree Diana! Money well spent. Some may call me vain. Whatever. I'll never regret what I'm doing. My life has never been better. That's priceless!
/LK
My biggest monthly expense, averaged out, is my waxing. I get a deal of buy 12 for the price of 9, and for my back, chest, stomach, arms and legs (and I just added nose today) comes to about $3,000 per year or $250/month. With tip that goes to about $300/month.
Although I haven't gone in a year, my hair coloring (undo the grey wiry hair) is about $120/quarter with tip, or $30/month. (I wasn't going to do anything with my hair when I was in chemotherapy because of the chance of losing it all. I didn't lose it all, but lost a lot of the longer hairs to breakage and much of the non-grey hairs too. My hair, pretty thin to begin with, got even thinner.)
Most of the time my makeup consists of beard cover. I probably spend somewhere in the $100 range for a year's supply, so let's just call it $10/month. The other makeup I have I don't buy all that often so I'm not counting it's cost.
I've only got a couple of manicures, and two pedicures in my lifetime. Last year I couldn't bend to cut my toes so I got a pedicure, and this Be year before the Keystone conference I also got a mani (with clear polish) and pedi (without polish). Because I do it only once a year, I don't think the cost adds up to much.
With a little rounding, I'd say I average about $350/month.
I was looking at similar numbers when considering the different hair removal options. That's why I was sold on laser. I figured if I'm going to spend around $3k/year on waxing, laser would be cheaper in the long run. And I wouldn't have the time burden of visiting a waxing salon every few weeks.
Hair coloring is a fixed cost I don't see ever going away. I am not a fan of grey hair! I was pretty content for a while with the basic coloring that I got every 2-3 months. But like most women, I want something different now. Balayage is almost surely what I'll do. It looks amazing and is super easy to care for. The 'grow out' requires less maintenance that a regular coloring. In the long run I think my monthly cost will be about the same or maybe a little less.
One thing I find maddening about makeup is having to throw away stuff that's expired or dried up after just a few months. Eye makeup especially. Even full time, I can't use it fast enough.
/LK
@emilyalt Liz, with no plans to go full time, laser wasn't an option for me. Yes it would have been less expensive in the long run, but much harder to explain the frequency of the treatments. And the up-front cost would have been higher, at a time when money was tighter. Would it ultimately have been nicer? Yes. But I'm OK with my choice.
I hate the grey hairs on my head too. My hair is still shoulder length even after losing two hand widths of length, but looks more like Albert Einstein's wild hair without the coloring. It is just uncontrollable, even flat ironing it doesn't last more than an hour. A simple coloring works great for me and keeps my hair straight. Then I can even go swimming just by adding in clip-in bangs. (We decided long ago I need bangs to hide my masculine looking forehead.)
I got laser years ago when I was still figuring things out. I was so sick of hair removal and had the money, so I went for it. If money was tight, I would've gone with waxing.
I think I'll be like my 96 year old aunt. There wasn't a grey hair on her head when she passed a couple of years ago! I wonder how much a coloring will cost in a few decades....
/LK
Actually, I don't know and it can vary a lot. This month I have had a makeup lesson, had a makeup replenishment, need to top up on a couple of skin care products.
The costs become predictable when you are full time or close to it. When I was part time my costs were overall a lot less but varied widely.
/LK
I am, like Liz, a full time girl, so my costs of living as such can be damaging to a tight budget, LOL
These are my monthly approximations for the price of remaining beautiful.
My manicures and nails are $60 every three weeks - I do my own feet.
Makeup and skin care, which is daily, probably around $75
I don't have waxing done, I use an epilator and shave where required.
I have to wear wigs, nature didn't gift me with feminine curls, I came from a lineage of cue balls. So I currently have four wigs that are identical in style and color, these are rotated as there is always one being washed, styled and conditioned while the rest are part of daily wear. I order them from Chiquel and the style is 'Classic Cut' by Raquel Welch Wigs. Each wig averages $275 and lasts about 6 months. One of them is just about reached its end and there's a new one still in the box. I figure my "hair" cost is around $150
There are other miscellaneous items used to exfoliate on a regular basis.
So I figure my monthly beauty costs are around $380.
Living full time can get expensive! I'm beginning to understand why some women adopt a 'tomboy' look. It saves money! That's not for me though.
/LK
Based on the first half of this year I am in the monthly range between $100 - $250. That's my choice in the poll. I do my nails and depilate myself, but pay for pedicure. So I calculated based on makeup, skin care and hair removal products. My wigs maintanance too.
I have spent an average of $1,000 per month on clothes, shoes and accessories this year. But that will go down because I don't need to buy as much anymore. I certainly need to limit my expenses to live comfortably and be able to travel again.
I have spent an average of $1,000 per month on clothes, shoes and accessories this year.
I need to shop for a long trip and I'm realizing that it's going to cost a fair amount. Probably not $1000 but several hundred at least. I haven't had much luck at consignment and charity shops. Fortunately, the clothes I buy will be an investment. It's not a recurring expense.
Thanks Gisela!
/LK
I'm a broke b*tch I need to learn how to dumpster dive at Sephora! $25 a month at most.
If you keep your needs simple and stick with drugstore brands, $25 a month for makeup is totally doable.
/LK
Sorry to say, I'm the one in the $500 - $1000 / month range. The reason is my bad habit of buying expensive clothing and shoes as I'm dressed en-femme in the very small business I own. Meeting clients requires sharp attire even in 2024.
Shoes can be $300, purses are $300 and cosmetics as you all know are expensive. Yikes! My justification is new business so....is this just a cost of doing business? I'm off this week and yet I'm April all week anyway.
I had my doubts that anyone would crest the top two levels of this poll. I should've figured you would April!
Normally I would say clothing and shoes are discretionary and can't be counted. But if you need a rotating wardrobe of nice outfits for work, then it's a fixed expense.
I'd be a lot skinnier if I spent that much on clothes! Hmm??
/LK
@emilyalt Well...I hate to skew your poll, but I'm only dolling up ~4x/month, so the expenses are minimal. I use makeup pretty sparingly (of the Less is More school of thought) and reuse my nails and wigs.
If I was FT....hm....I'd expect ~$150? I dunno...maybe that's a terrible extrapolation. 🤔
I use makeup pretty sparingly too. And I don't wear it every day.
The problem is it either expires or dries up. Eye makeup especially has a short shelf life. Mascara turns into a clump dispenser after a couple of months. I'm always replacing half-used bits of makeup. Drug store brands help keep the cost down. My biggest expenses by far are hair and nails.
I think your monthly expenses are in-line with most girls that responded.
/LK
I remember back in the early 90’s, my ex managed a cosmetic counter at the old Broadway now Macy’s, can’t remember which one, anyway, one little counter accounted for the majority of the entire department sales, so there is your answer.
Cosmetics and women beauty services is a huge business, the price of being pretty.
To close it up, looking at Liz photos every now and then it’s all worth it, you look amazing beautiful even when you’re casual.
I hope that answers your question.
Thank you Carla. **blushing** That's very nice of you to say. Good skin care and HRT made a huge difference.
Yes, being me isn't cheap. I don't put a price tag on happiness.
Hugs,
Liz
Liz,
First off good poll. Definitely gets you to think about the cost and decision making process of what we do. For me I voted $100-$250 as a range I want to get to. With that being closer to $100 than $250. Cureently Im way under the $50 amount as Im part time. But id like to be able to get out once or twice a month. And as many has said. Just replacing expired items will get me into that range easily. I do not want drug store brands as my experience so far with them has not been satisfying. Quality over quantity for me.
Sincerely,
Erika
Thanks Erika!
I agree that in general, you do get what you pay for. That said, there are some decent drugstore brands. It helps to read reviews. I've had good luck with some Loreal products.
I was buying higher end products at first, which of course are more expensive. However, they don't last any longer than drugstore brands. I found that I was throwing away hundreds of dollars every year in expired makeup. That's why I switched to buying mostly drug store brands. I simply can't use it fast enough.
If I were wearing lots of makeup every day, it would be worth it to buy the more expensive brands. I don't wear much because I don't have the time for it. I'm really busy most days.
/LK
