Upcoming surgery November 15 to have vaginoplasty

Well, honestly, I cannot say whether SRS will be beneficial for you or not. That decision rests on so many complex and misunderstood factors that it becomes a very private and tricky decision. The questions I would ask are, "Are you always internally feminine?", and, "Do you want to be seen legally, physiologically and in terms of your ideal self as a woman?" Is the desire to be female so strong that you see it as a (or almost as a) life or death situation.

One problem is that most people, who report after the process of transitioning, claim to be ecstatically happy but those who were not probably would not report. Even so, I sense from acquaintances and anecdotes that the degree of regret is proportionally low. Maybe less that %10.

Another frequent opinion expressed is that once one steps on the transition path there is a feeling of relief, assurance and rightness. These are desperately needed as the process, while easier today, has not been easy for many. The challenges are daunting and require enormous courage to overcome. The dilators are the least of it, although it will be initially necessary and there are reports of blinding pain at the beginning. Just saying!

I suspect that part of your qualms are based on the premise that you got so far that you feel obliged to go all the way (as the actress said to the bishop) but you are uncertain as to whether you actually want to cross the relative point-of-no-return. This is a serious question. Do not allow any sense of obligation force you to initiate anything that is fairly significant and life-altering. Just saying!

On the other hand, I have a vague feeling based on, oh, I don't know, woman's intuition? I think you would make a wonderful lady. So, if your reluctance is based on your fear of not being able to live up to the rather over-whelming responsibilities of being a woman and I can offer a minute degree of support motivating you to do the right thing, well! I have long believed that transition should be done soberly and patiently but as soon as possible. Just saying!

I note that you do not expressly outline your concerns.

Araminta.

I said no for a couple of reasons, putting my marriage aside for a minute:

1) I’m a bit afraid of surgery

2) I’m not bothered by having a penis enough to overcome #1

If there was a magic pill, I’d probably have taken it when I was 12 though.

— Abbie 🥰

Thank you Araminta I do wanting all that as for surgery knowing outcome can be tricky like say life or death. And really believe willing to take that chance. Gone this far need to go all the way. Or I know will be kicking myself for rest of life for not doing it.  Guess instead of thinking of others around me need to think of what I want. Know long road of recovery but will it be worth it. I suppose listening to My Dr and then reading things on net about all this the pros and cons and the fails gets to a person need to stop looking at it all. and go through it. Really do deep down want to do it no matter what. Thank you really open my eyes on all this. And 99.99 % going to do it. Wanting to be the woman that dreamt to be.

Hugs
Donna

You know Abbie feel same way many times. To bad don't have a pill can take and next day wake up as female. Would done it when was 5

Donna

Good luck and God speed, Donna!

I would vote if there was a "Maybe" box!

I like Abbie's answer, though.

💓 Barb

It is natural for you to have reservations. The term 'procedure' is a very soft way of  describing what is quite extensive surgery and clearly your discussions with the surgeon has opened your eyes to what is ahead. I have looked at many testimonials and the surgery itself. It is a daunting prospect and, it has to be said, not without risks. It is the same with any intrusive surgery.

Araminta has written some very wise words which I agree with wholeheartedly. If you decide you want to have a rethink and cancel the surgery they will understand, it wouldn't be the first time it has happened. Perhaps defer it until you have sorted out the doubts.

It must be your choice and yours alone and do not concede to pressure, yours, those perceived or any one elses. You know what it would mean to you and if it makes you the person you want to be. I understand how you feel and there is also the pressure of time as the surgery is close. 

Perhaps you could take yourself away for day somewhere calm and have a good think. If you have a good friend who you can talk to , or at, as should be the case that could be an idea. Sometimes if I have an issue I write the whole lot down in one go. I walk away and leave it then read it. That helps me and has solved a lot of issues as it is amazing what is inside the head.

I am sure you will make the decision and know you have the support of the girls here.

A big hug for a very brave girl.

Dear Donna ,

I'm afraid I cannot answer that for you.

I'm a Crossdresser myself ( getting the androgynous-transgenderist outcome from the Cogiati and S.A.G.E. test wich I think discribes me very well ).
But I am not a Transsexual , so for me , a vaginoplasty is not even on the horizon.

I think you know deep down if this is right for YOU , so asking about what others would do is irrelevant i'm afraid.
I think it is normal to get cold feet before such a decisive undertaking , and that could be just it , but only you can be the judge of that !
Just know that whatever your decision is going to be , I think all the girls here are going to be 100% behind you no matter what Future you choose for yourself.
So if you are going to do some soul searching the coming days , I think the answer will become clear to you.
I am wishing you all the strength , wisdom and courage you can possibly have in the coming days.
Know that we Love you Donna !

Sylvia.💋💋

Thank you Barb and know abbie right as well as Araminta. Believe the choice should do it. Keep saying needing it and wanting it. As for length of time to take no matter knowing have the support from all my family and friends locally and then all the ladies here.  Thank you

Donna

I think that your key statement was:

"Or I know will be kicking myself for rest of life for not doing it."

Basically you seem to be saying that the rest of your life would be unnecessarily painful unless you complete your transition.

Araminta.

Thank you so much Angela really are right and know will do the right thing. Know as the date comes closer sometimes get those butterflies. but know be good when day come and wake up in recovery. Just have the pain meds filled.

Thank you Angela  Know what need to be done. for sure.  Been talking with friends all day almost about it and they feel same way.

Donna

Thank you so much Sylvia know you right about that believe anything that coming up kinda gives a person those feelings. Know be good just glad to have some pep talk with all you ladies makes things feel better and mind at ease.

Love you all

Hugs
Donna

yes it would, My final outcome is to be a legally woman once the surgery is done and able to start the paper work process on all the legal papers from Birth Cert to driver lic. Know in my state all is needed is proof of surgery and fee and can change the birth cert to female.  Then been a big dream of doing since younger age to be a legal female.

Donna

Whatever you decide, Donna, you are awesome! You were one of the first to welcome me here at CDH and I will never forget it!

❤️ Barb

Aww thank you so much Barb  know you awesome as well as all the ladies here

Hugs

Donna