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I’m not sure if I can find the right title to this question. It occurred to me that I liked cd because I could make myself into an artistic project. Then I thought that cd gave me greater emotional freedom. And there’s the feeling I get from some of what a woman feels, kinder and more compassionate. Then I get to escape from who I am. And I see men in different ways in cd. So it’s both rich and confusing. I’d love to hear from all of you ladies.
What actually drew me was the fact that Emily is part of who I am. A large part. Like most of us, I fought that for years, only to return to the fact that I didn’t choose this, it chose me. What keeps me doing it is knowing that the time I get to be who I really am, makes me a better, more fulfilled person.
Plus the clothes! 🤷♀️💅🏼💄💋👗👠
I think all aspects of CD interest me because it is who I am. I am not escaping when I dress, I am simply showing another aspect of the total me. An aspect which should probably be the main part but I am to rooted in my male life to totally change now. I do feel more relax and comfortable when dressed but I am sure that this true for most.
What drew me to being a crossdress right? What draws the moth to the flame? I remember first experimenting with wearing panties and hosiery as young child. The feel of silk, satin, and lace were and remain hypnotic. As matured, I purged and swore off more times than can count. Finally, after therapy I began to understand that the need to be feminine is a part of my core being. So, what drew me to crossdress? The need to be me.
Like almost everyone here, from childhood, I loved the feel and texture of female apparel.
And again, like almost everyone here, it has evolved into a realization that Catherine Louise Ryan is an integral part of my being and whenever she "emerges", it all,(clothes, hair, make up, jewellery, shoes etc etc, seems just right.
The feeling is especially strong when as well as "all of the above" I have my "double sided tape "breast forms attached, making me feel even more like the "feminine me".
In addition, for the last few (cooler) months, I underdress 24/7. 18/40/105 A Bra, panties cami and 40 denier tights.
I am able to do the above as my beloved and I do not sleep in the same room and almost on alternate nights I sleep with a bra on and my other "sticky pad" forms in the bra. They wont stay on without one, but for those few moments when I get up in the morning and take my bra off, they hang there as "natural" as can be.
Happy dressing
Caty
What drew me to be a crossdresser?When I am dressed as Michelle,I have a feeling of being complete.A very long time ago,when I was 10 years old,and the earth was covered in ice and snow<hahahahaha>,I knew something was different about me.Fast forward to later life I am very content to be dressed as Michelle whenever I can My mom and sister,s clothes always were more fun to wear and the colors were fantastic.When I am fully dressed ,it is with full makeup and the presense and easy going attitude of a woman.I am literally walking more than a mile in their shoes and I love it.
This is an extremely tough poll for me. I carefully considered each of the choices provided and could not find a single one that applies to my crossdressing 100%, most not even close. And for this straight, closeted crossdresser, “Seeing men in a different way” registers at 0%. So I had no choice but to select “See my response for other.”
The reason for my desire to crossdress has baffled me for years. And I’m not so sure that anything drew me to crossdressing, it’s more like crossdressing chose me, and I willingly succumbed.
For this CDer, beauty was never even a remote possibility – even “passability” will forever escape me. Although I worship and admire most women, I’m not terribly interested in experiencing for myself what it’s like to be one, but I do sympathize with them. “I yam what I yam,” as Popeye used to say in the old cartoons, so “who I am” is not to be escaped from nor understood in depth.
I don’t know what “experiencing a complete life” even means, but whatever that is, crossdressing is not the vehicle to help get me there. And as to the colours and textures, I have enough trouble coordinating a simple outfit, forget about a deep appreciation of style, elegance and beauty in women’s clothing.
A large part of why I joined CDH was to read about the many reasons why OTHERS crossdress, and hope to distill some understanding of why I am so compelled to do it, why I cannot escape its thrall, and why I do not seem to want to.
I’m sure I’ll pass on from this life never fully understanding why I live to dress, and dress to live.
Considering that my oldest memory about my crossdressing is from when I was maybe three or four years old, none of the options applied.
As of what attracts me about it now, like others, it is not about men or about escaping or about being able to be me. I like to be able to transform my look into a more or less nice looking woman, and being able to at least partially experience life “from the other side of the skirt”.
Gaby 💜
About ten or twelve years ago, I was in the pit orchestra for Cabaret. The orchestra is dressed in slutty over the top drag queen, but for this production, they had us simply cross dress, in what any normal woman would wear for an evening out. One night, the show had to close early because the power went out during a big storm. So, rather than deal with taking off clothing, makeup, and all the rest by flashlight, most of us just drove home as we were. I had been separated for about two years at the time, and still missed having a woman around the house. When I got home, there she was. I decided then and there that I would dress on weekends for myself, just to have a woman around the house. The more I got used to it, the more often I dressed, so now, I "underdress" all the time, and as soon as I get home from work, or from a music rehearsal or performance, the first thing I do is shed my "man clothes", and put on women's clothing. I like the materials, the much wider choice of colors and textures, and I like having a lady in the house, even if she is just another side of me. Those who know me really well all say I have become more gentle, forgiving and less judgmental in the past ten years or so, but just chalk it up to my ageing (I'm 74).
Hi Caty,
I love waking up with my sleeper wig and sleeper forms along with my full length nightgown. It is a great way to start the day. I get up slip on a satin robe and some comfy heels, put on a little makeup and jewelry then sit down for my morning coffee. If only it could continue throughout the day.
Carolyn
Gabby,
You have done a wonderful job of projecting who you are, who always look fabulous and comfortable in your pics. Keep enjoying who you are. Carolyn
Hi Elizabeth,
Isn’t amazing how just one incident (dressing for the orchestra for Caberat) set off an enjoyment and fulfillment of crossdressing for you. I believe you always had a femme side and this only let you find it. You became gentle and caring not because of the clothes but because you were able to relax and be your true self.
Carolyn
Why thank you Carolyn! That was very sweet from you to say!
*hugs*
Gaby
Thanks for the great question Jennifer, one that really made me think. For me, it has been a natural evolution. My mom always wanted a daughter and she told me so my whole life. I had a strong bond with my mom, not so much with my extremely conservative & traditional father. I grew up in a very small rural community in the late 1950s/early 60s and a couple times a month mom and I would take the bus to the big city for shopping, going to a restaurant and a movie. Thinking back, it was a "girls" day out.
As I grew older, I tried pleasing my father doing "manly" sports (ice hockey, football) and although I was small in stature, I had enough athleticism to get by. My appearance has been quite androgynous all my life (no Adam's apple, little body hair except lots of hair on my head). I've been mistaken for female many times growing up even when I wasn't trying to pass.
Probably the biggest single impact for me was when my employer held a charily fundraiser and as CEO, I was expected to participate. Money was raised by staff voting on which senior manager (all men) they'd like to see dress en femme. Secretly I wanted to win but pretended that I didn't want to. Anyway I did win. I went out with my executive assistant on a female clothing shopping spree and it was great fun buying lots. I had my makeup done professionally and had lots of positive feedback by the hundreds of staff who saw me at the fundraiser luncheon.
The other big moment for me was when my mom, before she died, gave me my female name. She said if I'd been born a girl she would have named me Krista. I loved it immediately.
I'll be turning 65 in a few weeks and I'm retired now for over two years so I get to dress en femme every day. It's wonderful. My SO knows I crossdress, though she prefers not to see me dressed or talk about it (though I do push her boundaries all the time). Hugs, Krista.
- What drew me to CD, it is the feel of the clothing. Looking into a mirror and seeing that female persona and the satisfying feeling I get when dressed. I also see myself differently taking on the view of a female and imagining how others see me. I don't always understand the feelings I just know it is wonderful and very satisfying to wear the clothes. I am very happy when dressed either in full attire or with just panties and bra underneath my clothes.
