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Who is the real expert on crossdressing? Poll is available till Feb 20, 2025

  
  

[Solved] Whose Judgment Do You Trust?

31 Posts
28 Users
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Posts: 17
Guest
Topic starter
(@Anonymous 98283)
Active Member
Joined: 3 weeks ago

This might seem like a simple and obvious question, but what if it isn't?

Who, in your opinion, is the expert on crossdressing: the person doing the crossdressing, or can someone who has never done what we do be even more of an expert?

I need some opinions besides my own, so thanks for voting!

30 Replies
11 Replies
(@juliarey)
Joined: 5 months ago

Trusted Member     East central, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 31

@buildoe As for myself, I have a  supportive wife who gives me tips and make up advice along the way, so I voted people who are not cross dressers.

Lady
(@wendye47)
Joined: 9 months ago

Estimable Member     Clwyd, United Kingdom
Posts: 71

@buildoe On reflection, no one person is an expert. There are so many different facets to crossdressing (as with many things in life) that I feel everyone involved can contribute to the understanding and enjoyment of the “pink fog” ☺️

(@carolinecd306)
Joined: 7 months ago

Estimable Member     Fraser Valley, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 119

@buildoe My wife has chosen all my favourite outfits, she buys my makeup, styles my hair, taught me how to apply makeup.

She prepares herself to go out 365 days a year. I might get 15 full transformations a year  

I trust her advice on all things girly  

 

C💋

 

 

(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 305
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 154

@buildoe 

For me it would be non-crossdressers. In my case I have 3 women in my life who have been so tremendously helpful. First and foremost is my wife. She has a keen eye for fashion and how do dress the body to emphasize or de-emphasize various features.  Often when we're shopping she will pick out an outfit for me that I think will look bad but I trust her judgement and when I try it on I'm often very happy with the results. Second is my oldest daughter who loves to help me with my makeup.  I've learned so much from her. Third is my youngest daughter who is a hugh help with jewelry, access, and hair.  

 

Lady
(@candycross)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     Queensland, Australia
Posts: 310

@buildoe l get tips from my wife, she also does acrylic nails for me and helps with my make-up,  so l voted people who are not crossdressers.

Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1071

@buildoe 

 My GG friend is my goto encyclopedia of  fashion, jewelry, fabrics. She's just a walking talking lovable know it all! Lol 🥰 

Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 453

@buildoe I believe that someone who has no interest in it can never truly understand our feelings about dressing. They can point to studies, reports and all that, but they have no direct knowledge. They don't have the experience. 

If you have never shaved your legs and slipped into a pair of silky nylons. Never hooked them to a pretty garter belt. Never fastened a bra and worn silicone forms. Never felt a soft dress caress your legs in a breeze. Never walked in heels. Never witnessed the transformation of applying your makeup. How can you possibly understand how we feel? How can you criticize what we do? 

How can you begin to know the emotional effect we feel? 

Lady
(@abby24)
Joined: 10 months ago

Reputable Member     BW, Germany
Posts: 191

@buildoe I actually got my best advice from a very good friend who happens to be a woman, she went and helped me get makeup, has gone shopping for clothes with me. She has been an huge help to me 

 

Abigail Happy Woman Face  

Duchess
(@abbygirl)
Joined: 8 months ago

Active Member     Los Angeles, California, United States of America
Posts: 4

@abby24 

I also have GG friend I go shopping with. She never tells me what to buy but will tell me when something is not going to look good on me. I trust her judgement immensely.

Abigail

Lady
(@abby24)
Joined: 10 months ago

Reputable Member     BW, Germany
Posts: 191

@abbygirl my friend has helped me tremendously, she is super. 

Abigail

Posts: 1026
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@buildoe Clearly those involved are going to be experts on their own crossdressing, but possibly without much exposure, not have much experience outside of that. 

On the flip side,  I'd certainly consider a therapist or psychologist who had spent years working in the field as an expert. 

I'm not sure why there needs to be an "either/or" angle to this. 

3 Replies
Guest
(@Anonymous 98283)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Active Member
Posts: 17

@melodeescarlet You don't believe that both are going to have the same level of expertise though, do you?

Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1026

@buildoe Im not sure how one might objectively compare them. 

Surely a doctor who has treated hundreds of people with, say, a broken arm is more of an expert on broken arms than the person with the broken arm, no?

As I noted, I'm an expert on my crossdressing, but does that make me an expert on yours?

Experience is experience and a breadth of it isn't to be dismissed in my mind.

Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 847

@melodeescarlet    Agree, I draw inspiration when I see aCD sister that attracts my attention AS a female. I imagine their photo when they are in man mode  and note the many difficult things they have mastered.  When out with sisters , I marvel at the movements an mannerisms they display.

On the other hand women can show the way also, especially if you wish to blend in. My therapist is a lady in her late 50s and dresses age appropriate but very stylish.  Her forte is finding the perfect accessories to enhance the outfit.  Another, my makeover lady has shown me how to sit like a lady a pose to look thinner and enhance any feminine asset i display.   Sadly , my wife is a non helper.  

Posts: 266
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Honorable Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

the crossdresser that can pull it off is the expert. one that you can look at but can't tell if it's a real woman or a crossdresser. i guess i haven't gotten to that level and probably never will, but i do my best. so you'll have to live with that.

Posts: 1119
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

my 2 cents don’t mean much and don’t take it personally but I feel no one is an expert there’s always something new to learn everyday this world changes and so dose everyone else there will always be something new to learn this world be learning new things since the 1st century but again I’m just a closet dresser hiding away under the covers TC 

1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1093

@erinb Well said sister!! 

I really don't like self-proclaimed experts. Too many people put down others. Instead, we should find ways to bring others up by sharing our experiences, perspectives, and ideas, crossdresser or not.

Posts: 196
 Lacy
Duchess
(@rholtman96)
Reputable Member     Lincoln city, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Maybe the so-called expert would know more about the psychology of crossdressing, but not so much about crossdressing itself. Only someone who indulges can really understand.

Lacy

Posts: 306
Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Prominent Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Joined: 9 months ago

Hi,

I can't answer this poll. I think it's too generally stated for a simple binary response.

If you asked me who's the expert to make me up, I'd pick a cross dresser, on the balance of probabilities, over a counsellor. Unless that cross dresser was me 😉

If I needed to explore coping strategies then it's not quite so clear. There's some (but not all) very savvy cross dressers out there. But advice such as that is the bread and butter of counsellors' work.

If I needed advice on what I could or couldn't legally do, I might ask a knowledgeable cross dresser first. But my final point of call would be a lawyer.

emma x

Posts: 2013
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 7 years ago

EXPERT!

An "ex" is a has been and a "spert" is a "drip" under pressure.

In case it does not translate, drip used to be Oz slang for a "not so bright" person.

Just trying to add bit of levity to your day.

I'm old enough to know all I need to know about CD'ing.. Tho early days, yes, I did see a counsellor who fitted to above description very well.

Caty.

 

 

 

Posts: 1740
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I don't think there is one answer, because crossdressing isn't a singular activity.

Another crossdresser might be able to tell you how to cover facial hair or where to get such products. They may tell you where they bought large size shoes, or gaff styles, where to  buy a corset, or about advantages and disadvantages of different breast forms.

A non-crossdresser may be able to teach you how to do smoky eyes or use eyeliner to make cat eyes, or perhaps contouring. They may know what styles work or don't work with your body type. They might have experience in what is appropriate for different situations.

I think the answer is "someone you can trust," and not "are they or are they not a crossdresser."

Posts: 2088
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Interesting poll and replies.

I can't select either one of the choices as I think both apply. I know what I like to see women in and what I think looks good on me. My wife helps me with my make up, selecting outfits, shopping and other things related to my dressing. My therapist helps me to understand my dressing. Outside of the ladies here no one else is aware of my dressing. I do watch You Tube videos for tips on make up and other things related to CD'ing. 

Personally I'm not worried about being an expert, all I know is I enjoy getting dressed with make up, a pretty outfit, stylish jewelry, a nicely coiffed wig and shoes to match the outfit. 

XOXO
Suzanne

Posts: 2164
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Define " expert"

While a pwrson can be an expert in any field and not necessarily be part of that field...an hosorian comes to mind. 

Thay said, only crossdressers have the experience of crissdressing and therefore have a different perspecrive and understanding that non dressers.

Posts: 811
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I don't think there is just one answer either.  If someone has a supportive Wife/SO, they maybe the best options. A GG will give you real life perspective and if they are a good true friend, will tell you the honest truth

Posts: 1100
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

There is no right answer because there are too many variables and what looks good on one lady may not necessarily look good on another lady.

Maybe I'm an expert at knowing myself. I'm just sure of that. Well, almost sure. Although others add a few things to my knowledge. The women in my life tell me that I've always had good taste in dresses that look good on them, to the point that they often ask me if something looks nice on them.

I choose what I wear and take into consideration the opinion that the mirror gives me, even though it is an altered image of those who will look at us.

Gisela

Posts: 3381
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

That's a complex question if you go deep. If it is about the crossdressing aspect and not the psychology as to why then to me both parts apply.

A non crossdresser could be defined as a makeover artist who is not a crossdresser but can make whoever come through the door into a lovely female image. It could also apply to another person with knowledge and life experience who can offer valid advice to improve your dressing such as a friend who has a good eye and can also help create a nice image.

The crossdressers themselves who have achieved what they consider to be their perfect image could have suitable experience and knowledge that is value to others could also be considered an expert.

Usually experts are those with qualifications and letters after their names but someone without such qualifications but have good experience and knowledge are often sought out.

Posts: 268
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I definitely take all my clues and advice from all the ladies who crossdress or have transitioned.

Posts: 1093
Lady
(@margprodue)
Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I trust myself but I'm fortunate to be married to a wonderful woman who used to be a dancer.  She is my second opinion when I'm not quite sure that I'm dressed appropriately.  I don't always follow her advice but I do listen.  She has a great grasp of colors and styles.  Marg

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