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A month ago after my wife's death I decided to put a toe outside the closet. So what have I done, always wear bra and knickers, lipstick and mascara as well. I have purchased female jeans which I now always wear usually with t-shirt tops. I did think about breasts and put a topic on here for advice, then I was lucky that Amazon offered A cup Vollence silicone inserts at half price - now could a girl refuse, I tend to wear them at home but have tried them in public when I've had a coat over the top. I am also using nail varnish but a very neutral colour - how difficult is it to varnish the wrong hand 😀
I feel good with all this but am still very weary of going out completely en fem, mainly because although I have a full head of hair it is in a male style, when a little longer I will have a restyle.
I have told 3 groups of friends whose reaction was positive, but then I have chosen those who I thought would be that way, not sure when I'll tell more, I do have a friend's birthday do to go to in a couple of weeks, so some thinking on that one.
Hi Randi, lovely to hear you are taking steps to be a little more out of the closet. Bit-by-bit, step-by-step, it will build your confidence and one day you will feel quite comfortable - even natural - going out fully en-femme 🙂 .
I once read a tip about painting the nails on the 'wrong' hand (in my case, as I am right handed, it is easy to paint the nails on my left hand, difficult to paint those on my right hand). The tip was to hold the nail varnish brush static in the (for me) left hand and move the right hand nails under the brush. I have tried it and it sort of works ... might be worth giving it a go.
Hugs, Rebecca x
@randia Hi Randi. As has already been said it all depends on your goals, how far do you want to go. I checked your profile and see you are almost 10 years older than me, but I assume you are in good health so dressing goes go as far as you feel comfortable with.
If you feel down the road you might want to be fully out to everyone then push yourself in that direction. If you are happy just being out to a few and only presenting your Randi side part-time, then maybe only come out to a few people.
Myself I am likely retiring in a few months and then I will probably never wear men's clothes again. I am already out to everyone.
Cassie
@randia I commend you for taking this new adventure, Randi!
It sounds as if you are being relatively not en femme with your style in public. That is a good way to get started slowly, while you learn.
I do the same thing mostly. If you want to continue this way for a while longer, then the trick is to learn how to do illusions.
For example, you said that you wear women's jeans and T-shirts. That is a good start in public, but you can go even further. A loose button-up shirt with a pattern that breaks up lines (I find various checked patterns work very well and are fall fashions) will hide the chest bumps when you wear a bra with modest breast forms, if you don't tuck the shirttail into your jeans. Check yourself in a mirror, for print-through and the outline of the bra, too. As cooler weather approaches, you can get even bolder in a few more ways when wearing coats and jackets.
Let us know how it works out, please.
Hi Randi,
It's great to hear that you have started to open the closet door, my closet door is firmly closed at the moment, I opened it for a short while over the bank holiday weekend and that was only because i was away down in Kent, if i was to get a divorce then i would rip the closet door off it's hinges and purge all my drab man clothes, I hope i don't come over too violent,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
The first question is how out of thw closet do you want to be? I only plan to be out part way, meaning my wife and a few others know, but nearly all family and friends do not. I go out fully en femme around town, buy most out of town where I am less likely to run into people I know (but it is close enoigh that it is still a real possibility.)
Once you determine that, actively work towards it. Just remembet, once out to people you know, you can not undo it.
As for doing the nails on your off had. Put that stonng hand on a flat table and the brace the outside edge your weak hand on the table so you only have to move your fingers holding the brush a few tiny strokes.
It is always a conundrum as to what to do next after reaching a stage in the dressing journey. It would seem that your next step is to become more visible and telling friends is a great move along with the positivity.
I had a similar experience where I was out to friends and a party beckoned and there would be those that knew and didn't know attending. I had a dilemma but was encouraged to go dressed as they would be there to support me. I made myself up and do wear a wig as there is little hair. The responses were from surprise to 'Why didn't you tell us before', all good and I moved up a step in my journey.
Hi Randi,
If you decide to go forward with the nail polish a small step may be to use clear polish until you’re ready to go a bit further. Congratulations on the small steps you’ve made.
Alice
When I first went out with my makeover, my hair was long too, but still not particularly feminine. The woman instead used clip-on bangs (fringes) to cover my forehead. This little bit helps me look a bit more feminine. Although most of the time when I go out I am wearing a wig, when I go to the beach or to a pool, I still use the clip-on bangs.
