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Hi Ladies,
I spend much of the late summer and fall peddling my wares at craft festivals up here in Vermont. This past Saturday 2 women came into my booth and bought something from me. They said they are also vendors and like to support other vendors. Awesome, I replied. Where is your booth? They said over there. But we sell dresses …. Nothing you would be interested in … If only they knew.
I shared that story with my wife, and she got quite the chuckle from it. She then said her friend Carrie asked her why I won’t cut my hair, yet I shave my legs. My wife just shrugged her shoulders and said she doesn’t know. Carrie doesn’t let anything go. I asked my wife what I should tell Carrie when she presses me about it. Wifey told me I could tell her as much or as little as I like. I’m not quite sure how to handle it. I am sure people notice I shave my legs, but Carrie is the first person to question it. Wifey said I can tell her as much or as little as I want. While Carrie is fairly open-minded, she can be a bit conservative about things that don’t fit the norm. She would probably be fine with a guy in a dress as long as it’s a guy she doesn’t know. The NIMBY effect.
How would you handle it?
Please don’t turn this into a thread about leg shaving.
NIMBY = Not in my back yard
Thanks,
-Robin
Hi Robin,
With the uptick in Lyme disease and the wet weather, perhaps, you can claim shaving your legs (and perhaps your arms) allows you to look more easily for the nasty ticks after an outside walk.
Alice
Hi Robin
oohhh that’s a tough situation. I could lead to having another girlfriend 😃 or it could go the bad way 😞. It’s quite possible she already suspects and may be fine with knowing. Are you and Carrie friends? Maybe just drop little comments next time you see her see how she reacts.
“oh nice shoes” “wow love your outfit” “what perfumes that? It smells great “
She’ll love the compliments and may end up asking you directly.
best of luck 🤞 let us know how it goes.
oh and go check out the other stalls dresses. Can always say it’s for your wife but you wanted to return the favour of supporting your stall
💋
Carrie, her husband, wifey and I are pretty tight. Wifey thinks she will eventually figure it out.
Hey Robin. Just my .02 take on shaving ones legs. Please forgive me, but In my opinion, your lack of body hair is none of your friends business, period. If it were me and someone inquired, I would say, I prefer to not have any body hair from my neck down and leave it at that.
I've been shaving my legs and all other body hair since my teens. As a teenager and into my 30s I was an amateur competitive bodybuilder. Its actually how I met my lovely wife many years ago. ( The person who started and encouraged my cross dressing.) Anyway, although I no longer compete I continue train and shave regularly, which parlays very nicely into my dressing. Other than for possible tips on how to prevent ingrown hairs, during all this time no one to my face, or to my wife, has ever questioned my lack of body hair.
From my observations from training in a gym six days a week since my teens, I would say the majority of males, of any age, who train seriously are shaving their body hair regularly. I have some extremely conservative friends and it was never an issue or even a topic of interest or discussion. I really feel bad for anyone who feels anxiety because of shaving their body hair. Cyclists, triathletes, swimmers, bodybuilders and if I'm not mistaken soccer players shave their legs and for triathletes, swimmers and bodybuilders all their body hair.
Please enjoy your dressing and your lovely wife. If it really becomes an issue with this particular friend, then sadly if it were me, I'd gradually disengage myself from them and find new friends.
What a dilemma! Ultimately its none of her business but I do understand your problem.
My take? I can't answer even close to definitively what Carrie is like as a person or what your gut instinct about her is having observed her loyalties / penchant for gossip or not / trustworthiness / morals and more, only you can make the informed decision, not us whatever our advice.
One point I would make is be open minded whilst asssesing her (see, it works both ways lol, the irony) and the potential consequences. People I was worried about coming out to have been my greatest supporters. Plus of course having a friend who sells dresses is a dream come true.
Good luck x
One thought that has crossed my mind is a good way to start sussing her out is pop across to her stall, mutual support for traders, and see what conversation kicks off and where it goes. No reason you can't look through the dresses, I go into town and buy clothing for my wife albeit often under strict guidance and love going through the racks, and again see where any conversation goes.
You'll get a gut feeling and if you choose, the "will this fit me" moment will come easily.
Well Robin it is down to you and your good wife has left the door open for you which means she is prepared to take questions from Carrie if you tell her.
It seems Carrie is on to something as if you aren't the cyclist or body builder who shaves their legs then she is being more than inquisitive but then she might be the one that wants to know everything but if she knows something how good is she at keeping it to herself?
You never know how people react and if you know her well and, although she is conservative in views does she talk about LGBT and if so is in a good light and more importantly is she trust worthy.
If you are tight then tell her, why not.
It's happened to me where friends wives have been inquisitive through different reasons. I was fairly sure they would be okay and was right. They didn't tell their partners that happened much later when good and ready, but that is my experience - other experiences are available.
I kinda hope you do and also pop into the other vendors stall and have a look and even buy - I am sure they wouldn't care as they make a sale.
A difficult position to be in for sure. I guess I'd have a further conversation with my wife. Basically asking her how much she values the relationship with Carie. Explain that you are afraid to be honest with her friend if she thinks there might be an issue. If your wife is ok, then go ahead and tell the friend the whole story. You might wind up with another ally.
"Because I like the look and feel of smooth legs and long hair. Don't you?"
Lawyers have a golden rule about questioning a witness -- don't ask a question unless you know the answer. Although not directly comparable, you are in a similar situation. If you don't know how Carrie would react to you opening up then there are risks associated with doing it. You then have to ask, what is the worst that can happen? If you are not ok with that being the outcome then I like the responses which effectively say that if Carrie asks you politely tell her it's none of her business.
Myself, I would rely heavily on my wive’s counsel. Depends on how tight she is with the third party. Incidentally, my wife has 3 rules and NIMBY is number 2 when it comes to me being out en femme. 💃🫣🤫
An interesting dilemma. If you do go down the path of telling the truth to Carrie, be prepared that she may not be the only one who ultimately knows about your crossdressing. There is nothing to stop her from spreading it to other people you might not have considered. Just my 2 cents.
Hugs,
Emily
I don't like my hair short--Simple answer-
Here is what I tell people about shaving my legs. I sell traditional shaving items in my store. This includes selling double edge safety razors to women on occasion. So I told my wife "It's easy for me to explain to a man how to use a razor on his face but shaving legs is a whole nother animal. Maybe I should shave my legs to see how difficult it is." She gave me a dare and I accepted. Once my legs healed from the nicks and cuts, she said that she liked the way my legs looked sans hair. I also decided that I like the look as well. So if anyone asks that's what I tell them. Sometimes I have even brought it up myself when talking about shaving in my store.
As for my hair, I have been growing my hair for two years. I used to keep it short and would get a haircut once a month. My wife has been asking me for years to grow it out because as it gets longer it becomes wavy and curly. So, since I had never had long hair I decided why not.
Plus at my age I can do as I please. It can be a challenge at times but the wife is happy and I'm having fun with it.
In addition, I know a woman who sells wigs and forms to women who are cancer patients. I asked her about donating hair for natural hair wigs. She told me that the hair has to be between 11 and 14 inches. So, when my hair is long enough, she will give me the full information for donation and I will cut that much off. Nuff said.