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(Input for the list very much welcome, read to end)
My wife and I had a pleasant discussion last night in which she wanted me to make her a list.
Specifically a list of things I'm interested in and things that I'm not.
Im to mark each item on the list as Green (For; Im perfectly good with this), Yellow (For; I'm on the fence about this), and Red (For; Not at all).
Now I'm considering adding to the list an Orange (For; Under the right conditions, I could be talked into this)
I've put together a short little list so far, but I would like to make it a rather large list.
I enjoy crossdressing and being feminine, its a wonderful and freeing. I discovered that I also enjoy it when I'm forced to dress up or do things I normally wouldn't (It doesnt take much convincing, always looking for an excuse to get to dress up). So the list is meant to be geared towards that spectrum along with casual crossdressing goals/wants.
After she has the list, she said she'd go through it, and mark out what would be green, yellow, or red for her. Leaving us with a consented and communicated list. So that no lines are crossed for either of us.
I was hoping you wonderful gals would mind adding your input on what to add to this list.
No limits.
You can PM me if you prefer.
Once there's a good comprehensive list, I'll compile it and share it here so others can use and edit it if they wish.
Hugs,
Kyra
That sounds like a great idea, Kyra. I know it would have been of great benefit in my marriage before it ended, even without cross dressing.
My two thoughts, in general, are to include a list for the bedroom, (ie what what is or is not acceptable during your intimate times, and be honest because you never know what someone might be willing to try until you ask,) and a list for public/social activities. Is it something that will always stay private between you two, or will you be going out dressed together? Consider all the possibilities, even if you know it’s something neither of you want. If nothing else, it shows there are definitely commonalities.
either way, I envy you situation. Many of us would be ecstatic if we had an understanding SO. I am single and so don’t have to hide anything. But would certainly love to find a partner to share this with.
I think that this is a wonderful idea. I envy you that you have a supportive SO. I am looking forward to seeing the completed list. It may help me with my SO.
Hugs, Liara
Very thankful that she's so supportive of my crossdressing, it was a huge stress for a long time. So much weight and worry has been lifted since getting the courage to talk to her about it.
Should've and would've done it sooner had i known she'd be so supportive.
Caught me off guard last night when she asked if i could put together a list with everything laid out.
I think the list will be super helpful
I found a similar thing called the bill of rights - there's one for each person. But this is a generic list of what's expected and what should not be done in a committed relationship.
https://www.tri-ess.org/Wives-and-GFs-Bill-of-Rights
These are good starting points, but I also love the idea of general list, BR list, outside list so everything is covered. Of course the lists should be considered dynamic - things could be added or dropped by mutual consent.
Thanks so much Kyra!
Brielle
This amazing coincidence, this week my SO and I had another chat concerning my dressing. Catch my bio for details. It is now agreed I can dress but under no circumstances in the following cases meal times, evenings with her or in the bedroom. Any other times are fine……..being happy is an understatement.
Sounds like wonderful progress Katie
This is a great idea and it's nice that your wife brought it up. I agree with Jamie that having a bedroom and "everyday" list is probably a good idea. Sometimes things can easily shift between the two but it's better to have discussed it before getting into an awkward situation.
Making a list also may help surface things that either person might be worried about bringing up in a casual conversation.
I might have to steal this idea!
-Chloé
I thought it was a great idea as well, love that she suggested it.
I sent her a message a bit ago asking her to make a list of what she would like for herself and what she wants to explore or do.
Cant be one sided or selfish
In my mind this is one of the wisest ideas presented towards establishing a consensual working relationship in managing one's feminine needs with the needs (however she might define them) of their spouse. I can't wait to here the further developments. Please keep us updated Krya.
Blessings,
Charlene.
Update:
Did not get a chance to go over the initial list with my wife last night. I worked late, and she ended up going on a sales demo without me. Needless to say i was in bed before she got back home, and awake far earlier than she was to head back to work.
From our phone call conversations today, it sounds positive. She wants to go over my list face to face, and she's working on her own list.
So far so good
Hugs,
Kyra
Hugs to you! When I started 8-9 yrs ago it was panties only and they felt good. 7 yrs ago I went to intimates also and then began cross dressing more..my wife and I had kind of a list of questions for each other..it took a while since we both had same concerns! We assured each other we didn't need help in bedroom and set rules for privacy and most of all honesty!
2-3 years ago as we had gotten use to my dressing habits and as with most couples we got bored in our romantic life hence one night we came up with a game. Rule #1. Fantasy only lol maybe..we would set side by side on couch and since we were both in panties and bra it became fun..the first time we held back a little but the next time and since we would ask provocative questions...we all know what some of them could be...The name of our game was Lie Detector Game! Ex. Wife ," do you wonder if that guy was nude would you watch?" No! Pointing to my panties wife would say "wet spot you lied!"
We go back and forth and both enjoy!
We don't play but maybe once a month which Increases fun!
That does sound like a fun game, going to have to try that! Thanks for sharing Lisa
I love this idea. I hope my SO sees this. I found out she recently joined CDH to find support, she didn't tell me, I saw it in her browser and I don't think she knows I'm here. This is the kind of stuff she needs to see. If your SO is on here, you may want to ask her to post it in the SO section.
