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so I had time to myself last week and decided to visit my friend at lane Bryant. Super friendly helpful girl. Always let me try on stuff and suggests how to accessorize outfits. I walk in and say hello to the one lady who works there, she knows me from my visits and small purchases. I asked for my friend and was told she was off today and if she could help me. I’m like oh, sure. I was looking for ladies jeans, saw some online and wanted to try them on. She lols at me and says , they’ll never fit. Your too tall for these jeans. I am 6’4”... oh well scratch that. How a lost any new dresses I ask , she said they didn’t receive any the new collections yet and that I’ve also tried on all they had and never bought anything. Besides your too wide in the shoulders for what we have, I’m starting to read between the lines now. I said ok, how about active wear, I know for a fact I can get my ass into them. She makes this face and was like, they will be too small hun. I said I’ve bought the 26/28 active pants and wear them all the time. We we don’t have any new ones she replied. I said oh I get it. Ok. Tellso and so I said hi. And I left. Had intended on buying more Pantone’s but after that run in, I’ll buy from the other store I visit. Man was I bummed.
Hey Gina
Tough go but just try again on a different day.
Acceptance by the majority of store clerks and owners is getting much better but its not likely ever going to be 100%. Some individuals just can't or won't ever adjust due to their upbringing, beliefs or hangups. As long as they aren't outrightly rude or abusive rowards us, thats their right(and loss).
Many men get the same lack of service when shopping for sporting, automotive etc., if we don't happen to fit the profile within the salespersons mind of someone thats actually an avid sportsman or motorhead we sometimes get the quick brushoff or ignored.
In either case we always have the choice of shopping elsewhere, where we and our money are appreciated.
I’ve always been respectful and courteous when I’m shopping in these stores. I offer to bring coffee for the staff too when I call in for a product check. I’m super great full for all their help. I’ll have to call and hopefully get my friend on the phone during the week.
Gina,
I have to agree with Bobbi. I would have lodged a complaint with corporate. Money is money and regardless of the sale associate's opinions, you were a patron and should be treated as any other patron.
I frequently shop Lane Bryant as they are one of the few retailers who carry my size in stock. I have never had bad experience, and the sales associates have always been delightful and helpful. I do know that if I had ever had an experience as you described, I would speak with the manager on duty or speak to corporate.
I know from direct experience that writing corporate can be very effective. My wife who is handicapped has had significant success writing corporate for several restaurants where servers have discriminated against her because of her handicap. She has effected changes at district, regional, and national levels of multiple restaurants.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I gave up on Lane Bryant years ago, and I highly doubt their employees receive any special training in how to interface with CD/TG customers.
Torrid employees receive training in how to deal with CD/TG customers. Take your business to Torrid. You will be warmly greeted and offered any assistance you need, every time you enter a Torrid store.
One of the Torrid stores where I am a regular will volunteer to zip up dresses for me and then unzip. Torrid personnel will take the time to get to know you, as a customer. One of my favorite Torrid stores here in Atlanta has met my wife, and they know I am a heterosexual CD.
Peggy Sue I didn’t know you were from Atlanta! I thought I was the only cross dresser in this big ole southern city! You should tell me of your bars, restaurants and whereabouts you like! Kisses, Sandy.
That's a good point, Olivia. Sometimes the salesperson jumps to a conclusion about the customer, incorrectly, I've had that happen on more than one occasion.
Gina,
Have you contacted their main office regarding the rude service? I am sure they do not appreciate losing customers. I had a sales girl at Victoria's Secret tell me I could not try on a bra. I spoke with the manager and said I would not be buying any more items from that store. I found a store closer to my home and all the girls are very helpful and considerate. My big mistake was not writing to the corporation.
Hugs,
Betty
Things like that happen. She could have not wanted to serve you and had a low opinion of crossdressers. Maybe she was just not in a good mood and was not feeling too helpful. Or maybe she just did not like what she was doing. There could have been circumstances where she was forced to take the job because she had to.
Since I began buying my own pantyhose at 13, I have bought every clothing item a girl needs and wants. I have encountered very helpful and friendly store employees and others who look like they wish they were anywhere else doing anything else.
Many people who are in their jobs are not necessarily professional. They are in that job because they want to keep their house, feed their kids, and keep clothes on their back. The job they dreamed of or even liked, may now be ended and they are forced into something else or lose everything. They are beaten down, demoralized, embarrassed, humiliated and depressed. Their position sounds exactly like some people I personally know with advanced degrees and years of job experience. Their careers were destroyed by others and no fault of their own.
They were forced to do something out of necessity. What they are doing now was available. They go out everyday to something that constantly reminds them of what happened to them. It is off the charts stress, torture and humiliation. They would love to get another job, a better one and get back their career and their income. For now they just want to get through the day, while hoping and praying the lottery ticket they bought pays off, or someone likes their resume, after sending out hundreds, and offers them a job like they had before. They might also just be having a dad day.
I'm sorry you are so bitter Bobbie. Gina did not get thrown out of the store or was called a freak or other derogatory things. She just was not treated they way she thought she should have. That is unfortunate. But like Gina said, she was a little let down, not harassed, assaulted or brutalized.
Thanks Patty. You’re right about the comments from the other members I didn’t agree with them either thanks for saying something. Hugs Sandy.
Sandy,
You are more than welcome to join us for our regular monthly meeting weekend at a local hotel in Atlanta. There are many CDs in Atlanta!
www.sigmaepsilonatlanta.org
Peggy Sue
You are absolutely on target about Torrid. The store I shop at has been very friendly to me when I have gone shopping there. Both girls I have had help me have answered every question I have had, and never hesitate to make suggestions for me. Everything from new bras to clothing and accessories. I applaud establishments that train their people to be accepting of everyone regardless. On my third visit, I was actually only looking for a couple of accessories, and left with a charge card from them.
I have just about given up on our Lane Bryant as well as Catherine's (unless a specific woman is working, I call ahead). I know those two stores are owned by the same parent corporation and have become so complacent the last few years, it's easy to see that they may not be in business for many more years.
I understand retail is the hardest and sometimes the most boring jobs to have for the low pay. The owners aren't expecting them to design new jet airliners or something, but to just help their customers find what they need and not just fill a slot. A lot of people have these jobs, they just don't want to work.
PaulaF
Sometimes you get the swan and sometimes you get the brick...