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Girls Night In.
Yesterday it seemed all the stars aligned for me, my wife and I had a girl’s night in together. I had been trying to arrange a “special” night in for quite some time but there was always something to prevent it from happening. However yesterday my daughter had visited and then gone home so was very unlikely to come back with her kids wrapped up in bed. My son was on holiday a few 100 miles away and again very unlikely to bounce in unannounced. Earlier my wife was with her friend for coffee so I took the time to epilate the few stray hairs left on my legs and arms so ready for the night.
I then tried on a few items to check the fit and find some jewellery to match the top I’d chosen. I wanted to match a top to my PU (fake) leather midi skirt. My wife has quite a few cosmetic jewellery necklaces that she lets me use and while looking I noticed her long midi crinkle skirt. So I changed from my PU to her skirt, it was “one sized” skirt so I knew it would fit and it did. In the mirror I loved the look and the soft light fabric felt so soft and floaty when walking. I loved it so decided I would wear that tonight and if any objections were made the PU was the back up. I had the plan.
The evening arrived and after cooking the dinner as “me” and eating it together I went upstairs for my shower. Post shower and time to become Elaine. Concealer applied and as it dried the undies and shape wear pulled on and hips padded. Then the rest of the face and eyes followed by bra and boobies dark tights then the lip colour a light pink, then the top and Roman Origionals metallic (blue/silver) top followed by the (dark blue) crinkle skirt. Wig fitted and styled and shoes on followed by the top coat of gloss on the lips. I squirt of Jadore on wrists and neck, finished relax, smile.
Time came to go downstairs and present myself. I walked into the living room and my wife looked up smiled and said “that skirt suits you”, I replied “I hope you don’t mind, I liked it so wanted to wear it”, her reply was “you can keep it, I never really liked it on. You’re taller so it suits you better”.
So the evening continued watching TV and chatting and drinking wine to the early hours. A success and a new skirt gifted to me. Such a lovely wonderful night, I love my wife.
She did say “next time tell me and we can both make the effort”. Until then...
@elaines
Hi, Elaine.
Yes, it's great to be able to share the experience. Like you, I will get dressed and I'm now getting better at putting an outfit together with jewellery.
I don't use forms or hip pads because I like the feel of the clothes on me but that's a personal choice. I still look in the mirror and see a lovely lady.
As I've mentioned in other posts, my wife is happy in jeans or leggings so that's her choice. But she also comments helpfully and has gifted me jewellery boxes and a gorgeous Quiz dress that she chose on one of our visits to charity shops. Her clothes wouldn't fit me anyway.
But the sheer (no pun intended) joy of just sitting together, watching tv and chatting is wonderful and I know how lucky we are to have such loving wives.
Thanks for the post!
Allie x
That sounds like a wonderful evening! Congratulations to you!
I just messaged another member on a subject similar to this. I sooo look forward to girl/girl time. It is the most validating & wonderful time to sit with another lady. I had my friend over for light lunch snacks and a glass of wine. I loved all the preparation it took for the food, ( fresh baked cookies!), vacuuming & cleaning my place up, etc. Then to sit together and enjoy some moments and obviously talk about clothes. She wore a beautiful mid-riff shirt that she was nearly bursting out of. It made me so jealous! ( my shoes were better..ha! ) When the afternoon was over, it left a glow in me for the rest of the day. This is exactly how I read your experience Elaine. Your story is beautiful!
I contrast this with the thought of what would two CD girls do together if they met up in real life? I really don't know! I've never met another CD in real life. I came to this site for support & maybe to even meet with other CD's. It should be the same, right!? Why would we treat another CD differently than how we want to be treated? But it doesn't seem the same mentally, & I am grasping for explanations. I don't see any stories or articles on "First time meet up with another CD" The few explanations can think of may not be popular, & Valerie doesn't want to be unpopular, so do I keep it to myself. Hmmm.
Here is goes...Valerie may regret this...
CD'ing has not changed my heterosexuality, and from what I read here, most CD's maintain hetero mindspace. If we cross over into doing these "private type" activities with another CD girl, we are now in gay mindspace, yes? However it does seem like CD does NOT have public spaces where we do things together as CD girls. Is that because going public all together is basically a very short left turn to drag queen land?
I also think I see a common thread of experience I share with others here, is the core need for my inner Femme to be accepted by other biological ladies, and that can't be met by another CD. Why does that sound terrible to my ears?
I also feel like my competitive human nature pushes me to look at our drag queen sisters with an attitude of "I can do that better! ... watch this!". I would get validation by out-dragging drag queens, but I don't get validation from another CD for my fabulous outfits and panty selection. My male instinct to spike the football & get an unsportsmanlike penalty, keeps me from being a good teammate to CD allies.
I feel like such a bit** for saying that, but there it is.
I am probably wrong on this. I really don't know.
Kisses
V.R.
So negativity wasn't meant, I just let my brain meander a bit too much I think. I talk to myself too much inside my head and need to control that a bit better. Elaine's experience was beautiful to me cause it felt so familiar to some of my own. I need to just leave my comments at that and maybe go start another topic on my separate thoughts. I am sorry if that derailed it a bit.
@valravn I agree with you. I'm not sure I would want to go out in the company of another CDer unless there were actual women present as well, then I think I would be ok with it. I think I would feel far more self-conscious if I were, say, shopping with three or four other 'men in dresses' as opposed to being on my own or with my wife. How would I feel if I were doing a reasonable job of 'passing' and my CD cohorts were not doing as well and therefore perhaps I might be thinking that I was being exposed by someone else's inadequate dressing. Or even that I was the one who was not doing a good job and embarrassing them. I don't think cross-dressers do what they do to shock or draw attention to themselves but to blend in as best they can, to be seen and validated as if they were a woman, something that might not be possible in a CD pair or group.
Others may have different values of course and it is for them to choose to be seen with whom they wish.
Becca
xx
@rebeccabaxter Very well said. I've gotten comfortable with my presentation which leans greatly to blending in. I want to seen as a woman. I've been to plenty of CD social groups as well as transgender support groups (which seem to lean quite young) and it's rare (but not unheard of) that I meet someone who I would feel comfortable being out and about with for fear of being outed because they are not fully interested in blending in. Nothing personal at all, all of us present feminine in ways we enjoy, one of the reasons a site like this is so fascinating.
Robyn
@valravn I think I can see where you are coming from and perhaps many of us would want full validation from a genuine girl being accepted as one of them. Meeting up with other C.D's is another avenue which girls here enjoy and there is nothing tardy nor infer any change in sexuality or drag queen. There is plenty of complimenting and girl chat too among those here and also plenty of experiences written about so have a look through past posts and threads. Any public space is suitable for a couple of C.D's to be together, if they feel content to do so then why not.
I can see an issue in your mind that if you were to meet with another crossdresser that changes the dynamics in yourself into something you aren't, perhaps a fear generated by sub conscious stereotyping or how you feel others will see it. It is unfounded as most here are just like you and nothing changes. There are plenty of positive validations on outfits spoken about and compliments.
Sometimes it is good to write things down and get it out but here you just have to be more measured as not to cause any offence and by your apology that will be the case in future.
Hi, Valerie, thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly.
That's the beauty of this place, the freedom to discuss things like this among friends.
Each of us chooses how we interact with others, crossdressers or not, and it is an entirely personal choice with many contributing factors. You have described very well your own feelings about interacting with other crossdressers in the "real world".
My apparently simple answer is, if you don't like it, don't do it. I would prefer to go out in public as a group rather than with one other crossdresser but that's more a safety in numbers thing, for some reason I think I'd be more anonymous in a group.
Anyhoo, thanks again for sharing this, I hope you reach a comfortable answer.
Allie
@valravn I took time to reply to give my poor brain time to think, in the past I've hit the keybord too fast and regreted typing stuff.
I woud'nt worry I think people all have different levels of tollerance when it comes to personal life. I am totally a straigt male if you ignore the dressing, but an evening with other CD(s) in the right place would not bother me as long as other parties leave it as pure social just like a group of women do with their freinds.
The problem is if you look online there is so much slutty stuff on display that it can make people thing being CD is like that. But a magnetude of others are not like that and do not post, so the comparison is swayed to what is on public display.
Val be the person you want to be and dont dig too deep or you find things you don't want to see.
Luv
Elaine xx
Elaine, great you both had a beautiful night together.
I liked, next time tell me, from your wife.
Maybe, next time you and her could pick out each other's outfits.
That might be fun.
Enjoy
Lynne
@lillie That would be nice to get a suggestion as what goes well. I still have issues matching stuff.
Hi Elaine,
Sounds like you had a great night in, it must be lovely to have a supportive SO ,
I sometimes wish i could have a girls night in too, do all my makeup and wear a lovely dress 👗 and some heels 👠 and drink some wine 🍷 and chat about girly stuff X
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
Elaine,
That is a wonderful story, thank you for posting it!
Hugs, Fiona
What a nice time! I am glad for you, Elaine.
Gisela
Elaine -
What a lovely evening for you and your wife. How special for her to tell you to let her know next time so she can join you. I've had a couple girls nights with my wife and they are special. One evening she told me she didn't have much time time to spend with her friends doing girly things but enjoys having time for us to do it now. Even when we go shopping sometimes it turns into girly time, even though I'm dressed in drab. One of our fun times is going for mani-pedi's, if you haven't done that yet you need to give it a try. It is fun picking out what color polish you want together.
XOXO
Suzanne
Elaine, I'm really happy for you and your lovely wife spending that wonderful time together, thank you for sharing this story 🙂
I know that's something I'll never get to do with my partner, but I can still enjoy it through the written experiences of others, like this one.
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona You know, I never felt it would ever happen either. But after time I have found I can as long as its not too oftern.
So you never know.
Best wishes
Luv Elaine xx
