Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I was with my ex-partner at her house yesterday, she had invited my parents and me over for a lunch of roast lamb and all the trimmings. I presented as my male self of course, these being all three of the people in my life for whom I will do so. That said, my parents hadn't previously seen me as I am now with my hair clippered short and my keeper ear studs in, and my fingernails are in gel colour at the moment.
Like old times, my ex and I still make a good team. Just as we do with the Community Fridge food collections that we still do every fortnight, we worked together very well with the cooking and other preparations, and sorting everything out afterwards. The meal was very good and my parents certainly enjoyed themselves.
Although the conversation included some of the things I'd been up to like the visits to my aunt, I didn't say anything about being en femme at the time, and the wider topic of Fiona was not mentioned. Except that at one point while clearing the plates away, I managed to drop the cutlery that I'd piled on the top plate down the front of my smart shirt, and had to change back into the less smart polo shirt that I'd arrived in. "Oh well," I said, "there's an upside - at least this one co-ordinates with my nails". It raised a laugh from my ex and quite a smile from Mum, but the look on Dad's face was priceless! It's not difficult to work out where the 'no Fiona' decision came from with them.
After my parents had gone home, my ex and I settled down for a talk, that she'd told me she wanted to have. Now, I've never been one for picking up the subtleties, the 'between the lines' meanings etc., and I had always been given to understand most clearly that she and Fiona should be considered mutually exclusive. So it took me quite some time to realise that she was hoping to try and restart our relationship, but with Fiona instead of male me. When the penny finally dropped, I absolutely couldn't believe it 🙂 There's nothing I would like more! Straight away I responded that I will do whatever I can to make it work with that goal in mind.
It's not a fait accompli, indeed, far from it. We did talk a lot about various possible future situations though, and it seems we're in broad agreement as to how they could work. But first, we basically have to start again from scratch, and she has to be introduced to Fiona, very slowly and gently. Trust has to be rebuilt. To be comfortable, she has to be able to get past any distaste at my presentation, to feel the familiar person underneath. So the presentation mustn't be too much for her to handle at any stage, or the 'OMG NO!'-switch will be tripped.
We have agreed to go out for a first date later this week, meeting away from her house, for a drink in the place we first met nearly 18 years ago now. I will basically be in male mode as I was yesterday, but wearing Fiona's jeans, top and trainers - nothing more femme than that.
Going back to the title I gave this thread, I am filled with hope that this might be the start, yet also the continuation, of a long story. It would actually fit very well as an Episode IV in the story of Fiona. I'm just not sure which one of us is Princess Leia 😉
Fiona sweetheart. I’m so very happy to read this. I know how much you’d like this to happen, so I will be keeping everything crossed for you.
And yes, you’re quite right, it needs to be taken very slowly, and at whatever pace she is the most comfortable with.
But it’s wonderful news
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations Fiona, I sincerely hope everything goes well for you both. Sounds like a dream come through.
@finallyfiona That's great news, I'm so happy that you can get things together again & I really hope that things work out for you both.
Well this is quite the nice surprise Fluff! So happy for you! I'm looking forward to hearing how things go.
Lots of love ❤️
Liz
@lizk Thank you my lovely 🙂 I'm looking forward to finding out how they go!
Love & hugs,
Fluff xxx
@finallyfiona I hope this can work out for both of you. I hesitate to give advice, but for one thing: agree to be patient with each other.
@kimdl94 Kim, thank you 🙂 And absolutely agree about the patience. This isn't a race, there's no rush. Take it as slowly as it needs to be taken.
@finallyfiona Hi Fiona, This sounds like an unexpected "dream come true" for you. Of course we shouldn't count our chickens before they hatch and must take it slow---but it is a start and a willingness on her part to try---Congrats, Hugs Maureen
@maureen76 I certainly wasn't expecting anything like this. But the willingness to try says a lot. Hugs, Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona When positive developments happen "out of the blue" it makes them all the more wonderful! Good luck on your date. Hugs Maureen
@finallyfiona Well, that is an interesting change from your summer experience, Fiona. Good luck going forward.
@finallyfiona I hope and pray this works out for both of you. She must be an extraordinary woman to suggest such an idea and to ask you for your opinion. I think you have a the right plan, to take it slowly and gauge her feelings as you go. I swear, Fiona, your adventures would make for a very fun and enjoyable book! Best of luck!
Sincerely, Jill
@jillannquinn Jill, Thank you honey 🙂
I agree with you, she is a woman in a million and I'm so lucky that I've had her in my life. I'm not sure anyone else would have stepped up to fight for our relationship after I finished it so abruptly the way I did, without really having given her time to get used to the idea of Fiona. I don't know about the book though - unless it be a 'how not to manage a relationship during transition' guide!
Hugs, Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona Maybe I was speaking in hyperbole, but I believe you’re selling yourself short on writing a book. Though a chapter on “how not to manage a relationship during transition” would make an excellent talking point.
Hugs, Jill
@finallyfiona Fiona - what an incredible acknowledgement and willingness to move toward acceptance and support. You must feel so good about this opportunity for a new start! I would be on pins and needles with excitement about what could come.
My best to both of you (and hugs)
Evie
@3s3eve The title of the thread says it all really. Just having that hope is wonderful. I can't even find the words to describe my feelings about what there could be to come from it, but I really look forward to finding out 🙂
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
@isabella22 Thank you Denise, and thank you also for your PM. I would love to have a regular chat going on with you, and I absolutely will reply, but please bear with me because there is so much going on at the moment! All will be revealed in the days or weeks to come 🙂
@finallyfiona that’s amazing news! And thank you for sharing. It helps to know that maybe there is a little hope for the rest of us.
@amandasdream Thank you Amanda. To be honest, that's why I wrote the thread. It's not about the crossdressing, or advice to help on that journey of self-discovery. I didn't want to crow. I just felt there has to be a positive message from something so astounding.
Oh Fiona, this is such exciting news! A long way to go, and baby steps and all that, but she must realise what she's letting herself in for. I'm thrilled for you honey. I'm sure you'll keep us updated. Heck, we'll all be on the edge of our seats!
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Good for you Fiona! Best wishes for you and your ex and I hope you get everything you want and more. It's wonderful that she sees the real person you are and is willing to try to build a relationship with Fiona.
I home this story has as many episodes as the Star Wars saga!
Great news. Keep us posted on your progress. Hope things go better this time around.
Good news, hope all goes well and the turn around continues. sounds like she has been thinking and not in the negative.
Lynne
Who would have seen that one coming! Amazing we can only surmise her reasons but clearly there was much in the relationship she enjoyed so I wish you well in this new twist and hope it works out.
No doubt material for the chronicles of Fiona.
I am so happy to hear this news Fiona dear. Your go slow, one step at a time approach to this situation should hopefully garner positive results but don't be surprised if it's occasionally two steps forward, one step back. But even if it is, that's still progress.
I have both my fingers and my toes crossed that everything works out for you.
Big hug coming your way,
Fiona xoxo
@lucyb112 @cdashley @annaredhead @alexina @sashabennett @melissa70 @chrisfp99 @lauren114 @leah63 @lillie @ab123 @d44
Thank you ladies all so much for your heartfelt responses and kind wishes. I know we're a very supportive sisterhood, I try to respond that way in my replies on other girls' threads, but I'm still surprised and touched by the warmth and caring that comes back when I post here.
Rebuilding our relationship around Fiona is going to be a long process and to be honest I think I've got the lighter end of the load that we've got to lift. I know just how much effort my partner is putting (and will continue to have to put) into this to get to where we want to be, and it's humbling. I just want to treat her like a queen and do my best to be the most understanding, empathetic and considerate person that I can be. I do struggle at times to show much of those qualities, but I need to be a better person as Fiona, who she can appreciate more than I feel I gave her cause to as my male self. Just because that may have been enough for her to want me to come back to her, doesn't mean it would continue to be enough for her to want Fiona to stay.
The date is Thursday evening. It comes just before a very full period in Fiona's diary, but I will try to post a timely update.
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona Fiona, it seems to me that qualities such as understanding, empathy and consideration are naturally feminine traits that I'd suspect you have in spades. That will stand you in good stead honey. We all so hope that this works out for you.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Thank you sweetie, and they are indeed naturally feminine qualities, but I think the autistic spectrum traits that run down my family line somewhat get in the way of my expressing them without much conscious effort. Yet ironically, it's probably that side of me that has also given me the level of focus on my femininity to take it as far as I have, in the first place. Strange thing, life, isn't it? 🙂
@finallyfiona indeed it is Fluff. I have often wondered if I am somewhere on the spectrum xx.
Any step forward is a good one. I think she realizes to some extent that you the person hasn't really changed.
Just one question: A New Hope - Is this Part 4? 😛
Just one question: A New Hope - Is this Part 4?
Exactly that 🙂 I see three phases up to now, of Fiona taking form in my life, growing in my life, and then my life being as Fiona. The first one started last year, culminating in my first stepping out of my front door as Fiona in February. My main growth from then included coming out to my loved ones at Easter. Then when I started living 24/7 en femme in mid-May, I had a strong feeling of entering a new phase of life, during which I felt I had to let go of our relationship in order to fully accept Fiona into every area of it. We've now certainly got our work cut out for us to make Episode IV a success!
Fiona -
Very happy for you. Take your time and let her lead the way, I have found that worked for me and my wife. Enjoy this part of your journey.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Thank you Suzanne 🙂 Knowing the will is there from her side makes all the difference. Before, it was either her or Fiona, and I had to choose what I feel I am.
Hello Fiona,
I really appreciate your message. I am very hopeful that you both can restart your relationship, it would be so wonderful to have Fiona and your partner in your life, the best to you both.
Hugs and kisses,
carla🍁
@carlafirst11 Carla, thank you so much 🙂 It would indeed be wonderful, and we both have a clear goal to work towards. Hugs, Fiona xxx
A brief update to the situation from the first post on this thread.
We met last night for our second 'first date' in the same place as the original one all those years ago. We sat with our drinks and talked, and I came to understand a lot about where she was coming from. I'm sure she already knew what I was struggling to string the words together to say to her about my feelings and hopes, she always did know me better than I do 🙂 Not an eyelid was batted at my (very basic, as described above) presentation - 'they're just normal clothes' was the only comment.
So, it's all positive thus far. Progress has been made, emotionally and practically - a little, but none the less significant for it. It might be a few weeks before we've both got the same time free to get together for another date, but we've agreed the next stage of my femme presentation to test her reaction to. Meanwhile we've still got some times together doing our regular Community Fridge collection runs, when I can now present the same way as I did last night.
I was hoping there’d be some news honey.
This sounds like a really positive first step. As you say, it’s a little, but significant progress.
I’m so pleased it went well
Lucy xx
@lucyb112 Thank you so much Lucy 🙂 I have to say I do like it that my male clothes can now stay in the wardrobe, unless I'm going to see my parents.
@finallyfiona Congrats! While, it may not be a slam dunk, it seems to be more than a partial victory! If you don't mind sharing, what do you mean by the next stage of your femme presentation? Its ok if you don't wanna share, take care!
@halloweenconvert7 Thank you Katherine 🙂 All I meant was that I'll look a bit more like my feminine self, there will be hair, my usual light make-up, and just the suggestion of some figure with one of my bras which is sized for my male chest. The clothes will be similar to this time - female jeans, top and shoes. Enough to make me feel comfortable about the way I'll look, but hopefully not too much for her to handle. Boobs, hips and bum are probably a while away yet, as are skirts or dresses. She did say she didn't mind perfume though, it's just another form of aftershave to her way of thinking.
@finallyfiona Thanks so much for sharing! And I also hope everything keeps progressing positively!
I loved the title... I was secretly hoping this was a Star Wars reference, and it was!! I could digress for hours about the parallels of Star Wars characters and the struggles we face.
That's wonderful and curious that your ex wants to start over with Fiona. Best wishes!
@lea-jhene The title occurred to me very quickly once I decided that it was worth writing a thread about 🙂 I didn't think I could ever expect it when I ended things back in July, it all seemed too black and white, but I guess I should never have underestimated the significance of roughly a third of both our lives that has been spent together.
So happy for you, Fiona,
We seldom get second chances in life on important issues. Congrats!
Lisa
@lisadouglas Thank you Lisa 🙂 Indeed I count myself very fortunate to have this opportunity, they really can't be expected to come around like this.
I didn’t have the greatest day yesterday and I won’t bother going into details. But this was something quite uplifting to wake up to and read.
I am so happy for you, Fiona! I really hope that she gives it a chance to work out. That would be so wonderful for both of you!
What spectacular news. It’s a start.😊
@juststevie Stephanie, I'm only too glad if anything I write gives something positive to anyone reading it. Thank you for telling me honey, because it works that way round, too 🙂 Hugs, Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona I’m really happy for you, Fiona. It was so wonderful to hear you share that. I really hope things work out for you guys.❤️
