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A note on shopping, and being uneasy.

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Posts: 2111
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Topic starter
(@wanderer)
Noble Member     Stoney Creek , Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

Ah yes, that thing that unites us all - shopping!!  Now a days I'm making up for decades of minimal clothes shopping as a guy.  I could go out every day and stroll through the stores looking at things.... and am comfortable doing it in drab - no issues for me. Reitman's, Le Chateau ( sales coming!!! ), I  etc. I just cant walk by anymore!  Now, like all girls I'd be happier if I wasn't alone doing it.

So, I'm with my ex the other day, shes offering make ups she no longer uses, some jewelry, a couple of blouses, etc.  All very supportive and appreciated 😊.  Now the part that confused me was her saying that she would feel uneasy shopping for female clothing with me for me.  She loves having me around when she is buying things, but for some reason feels awkward helping me pick out things.  I mentioned that I AM the one who's supposed to be embarrassed, not her.  No matter, she didn't feel comfy with it.  Not even the Thrift Store.

Have to say I was a bit disappointed with that.  I mean, I would be the one others would be staring at ( and that's okay ), so I can't understand her reluctance. 😢.  This was just shopping for sweaters and leggings too, no lingerie or stuff like that.  Oh well, acceptance comes in driblets I reckon, a bit at a time.

Stevie

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5 Replies
Posts: 1319
Duchess
(@stephanier)
Noble Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Joined: 5 years ago

That's a pity Stevie. 😞 Maybe later perhaps.

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Posts: 1559
Lady
(@paulaf)
Noble Member     Pampa, Tx, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

My sister is also uneasy when shopping with me.  Even after 30 years of knowing, she has been reluctant to even just look at women's clothing with me, and lingerie makes her even more so.  On some occasions she has gone with me, but we ended up shopping separately.  She has no problem shopping without me at least nearby when the item is to be a gift for my birthday or Christmas.

Now, my youngest niece, Stephanie, will go shopping at the drop of a hat.  I think she really gets a kick out of how people react that do not know me or about me, like new associates at stores I have shopped at for years.  Steph is the niece that stood by me so unquestionably throughout my cancer ordeals and drove me to almost all of my appointments.

Very few of the men I have been involved with liked shopping with me, like most men I guess, but I never made one stand in the middle of the mall and hold my purse, LOL.  My first lover, Vincent, had a lesbian friend that ran a small boutique, and that is where he took me for my very first shopping outing, and I continued to shop there until she retired and sold the shop.

PaulaF

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hello Stevie darling

I also have no one to shop with...and think sometimes it would be wonderful to share the experience, but on the other hand, I have no one to talk me out of .....anything!!!!

.....the downside is, when I see the credit card bill, I have no one to blame either!!!

as always, massive hugs to Canada,

grace xx

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Posts: 81
Lady
(@suzettecdny)
Trusted Member     Westchester , New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Stevie,

i think the good part is you can talk about it.  We all have our comfort levels and there is nothing wrong with her feeling uncomfortable, she has a lifetime of societal conventions to overcome and for me if someone feels uncomfortable with something they should not be argued with but if she understands why she feels that way a little more she may as you say evolve and change her view in time.  i really think you are so lucky to have someone to talk to and that you are so comfortable going out shopping.  i still do most all my shopping online.

Have fun and be happy, hugs and kisses,

suzette

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

anyone need someone to go shopping with ? im here. i have no problem going shopping or giving my opinion on something. people probably remember you before you were a cd and thats how they want to remember you. you changed and they didnt. they probably had some good memories of you before and liked the guy you once was.

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