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A rare sighting!

19 Posts
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Posts: 3088
Lady
Topic starter
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

We all know how rare it is to see a Bigfoot. For me, it has been extremely rare to see another crossdresser, but not impossible. The first one that I remember seeing aside from a Pride Parade was a few weeks ago. She was in a dress, knee high socks, and sported a 7" beard.

Today, I saw a second crossdresser in my neighbourhood. She could have been headed to a remainder clothing store nearby. Not sure. Dressed in a sort of Goth look, all black (dress with short lace sleeves, black clunky soled high heeled shoes, black net or lacy stockings, a multi coloured white wig, tall, maybe around 40yo, and obviously not passable. Well put together, though, and confident. Owning it.

I was surprised enough to not compliment her in time. I have to be quicker at recognising and complimenting crossdressers (2 seconds?), but they have been so rare, in my experience, that I miss the opportunity.

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18 Replies
Posts: 2961
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

It is rare to see another crossdresser as some are hidden in plain sight and the more obvious are still rare. Mind you these days there are more gender identities who dress androgynous or more female than male so are they or aren't they?

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Posts: 97
Guest
(@Anonymous 91116)
Trusted Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Dear Harriette,

Thats is a curiously accurate observation!

I personally myself have only seen other crossdressers in public (without an event) fewer times than fingers I have on each hand.

With wonder and curiosity,

The Bluest Belladonna

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Posts: 1463
Duchess
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     Cathedral City, California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I’ve always been fairly circumspect regarding possible crossdressers or trans women that I see when I’m out, unless I know them or know about them. Some wish to be completely in stealth mode and I would not want to inadvertently call attention to them. Just before the pandemic (interesting how that has become a marker) I was in a Starbuck’s and I noticed a woman, perhaps in her 40’s, knitting something. As she was a few tables away, I couldn’t see what she was making. When I got ready to leave, I stopped at her table and asked. Can’t remember what she said, but it was the beginning of a 15 to 20 minute conversation. As the conversation continued, we both dropped hints regarding the larger context and it was a pleasant exchange. Unfortunately, I have not run across her again.

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Posts: 2015
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

For almost a year now I have been in a position to see fellow CD's more than normal. I started working at my local Torrid store -only 3 hrs on Sundays- and have seen 3 for sure plus one from CDH, Hi Nancy!! I also have seen 3 or 4 others who were maybes.
. Cassie

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Posts: 71
Duchess
(@gemmalovegood)
Estimable Member     Lexington, Kentucky, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I too have rarely seen a CD in the wild, except at a Pride fest. The few times I have, I was so deep in the closet that I just admired and stared from a distance, marveling at her strength and bravery. Now that my own big feet are stepping out of the woods, I keep my eyes wide open for our sisters. I hope if that happens, that I’ll have the strength to speak and reveal a bit about myself. Speaking of that, PRIDE happens this weekend in Frankfort, Kentucky’s capital. I hope to go Friday night. Keeping my big toes crossed.

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Posts: 3088
Lady
Topic starter
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

"Thats is a curiously accurate observation!" Belladonna

My focus was on what her outfit was like, plus I paused to take a look from behind after she passed by me, therefore I didn't get to see what make-up she had on.

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Posts: 649
(@christineth)
Noble Member     Brussels, Brabant, Belgium
Joined: 2 years ago

Not noticing fellow crossdressers . . . Is this because we are just not ‘out there’ or is it because many ladies are passing very well and are therefore not ‘visible’? I suspect the former, but truly hope the later is the case.
I have spotted a few crossdressing ladies - and have always wanted to go up and start a conversation, to express my joy (and envy) at their courage, but alas I have never done so because I am not sure how they would take it. The ladies I have seen have ranged from beautiful sexy young women at cafes and restaurants to girls who have simply put on a skirt and otherwise androgynous clothing and shoes but who do not feel the need (and good for them I say) to hide their masculine facial or arm hair.
Mostly the ladies seem to be unnoticed or, if noticed, certainly not bothered by passersby. Only once did I see a situation that I found a bit uncomfortable - I was on a bus in London and a very attractive lady got on. She was dressed to impress and certainly did turn a few heads. I don’t really recall what the give away was, but I realised she was a crossdressing lady. Maybe it was her mannerisms more than anything else. Unfortunately it was the end of school time and at the next stop a gaggle of hyperactive loud school girls got on the bus, presumably on their way home. They too picked up on the attractive lady being a crossdresser - there was no physical or verbal abuse, but their sniggers were very obvious. I really felt for the lady and looked at her with hopefully what was understood to be sympathy. Our eyes met and I did see concern. To this day I am not sure if she thought I was being supportive or part of the problem. Anyhow, two stops later she rose, and got off the bus with her head held high. The school girls became quiet as she walked off, but then ran to the kerb side windows of the bus and again started laughing and being crass. No one else on the bus seemed to be bothered either by our heroic lady or by the school girls’ behaviours.
I vowed in future to physically support any sisters I see in distress; to stay in mind, that most people cannot be bothered with what others do; and even though this was a few years ago, teenagers, particularly girl teenagers should be avoided at all costs.

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Posts: 219
Lady
(@eldred)
Reputable Member     Cardiff, Mid Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I have seen several crossdressers in our town during the last two years.I find it very pleasing.Some pass to a certain degree others do not.What is most interesting is that our town is a former industrial town that was always small minded.But now it seems anything goes.Nobody seems to notice or comment.It goes to show that attitudes towards crossdressing are changing and I applaud this.A couple of months ago I was in a MacDonalds in my nearest city with my wife and I saw a young crossdresser in her early twenties eating a burger on her own.Her outfit was casual slightly too old for her years.A little bit on the mumsy side.Havng said that I thought she looked great.I so wanted to approach her and congratulate her.Again,not one single customer apart from me read her.I said to my wife,if  that young lady can do it,so can I.

We frequent a Costa Coffee in our town which is frequented by students from our local college.I am seeing a few students in there who are either trans,crossdressers,non binary,gender queer or androgenous I think this is great.I admire every one of them.

 

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Posts: 454
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Prominent Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

It is rare to see us out and about.  But I can recall a few times when I thought I saw a sister out, and it turned out to be a GG or one of us who had practiced a bunch on her voice presentation.  I do agree with others observations here that with our better presentations and our thoughts, and eyes in many places at a time when we are going about our own business, we’ve probably missed more than we know.

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Posts: 97
Guest
(@Anonymous 91116)
Trusted Member
Joined: 1 year ago

I wouldn’t consider myself the most observant gal. But I couldn’t miss the two that I have come across.

The first was a sales associate in a Lowe’s hardware store, of all places. He/she showed my wife and I some refrigerators when we were building our last house. They were older (the SA, not the refrigerators), maybe in their mid-60s, and obviously a cis male. I can’t even remember how they were dressed, I can only remember the eyeshadow and lipstick they wore. I found myself stealing as many glances as I could without being obvious, while we were waited on and shown several models, secretly jealous. See, I was in the infancy of my crossdressing (and very much in the closet), but was in awe of their total lack of self-consciousness. We (my wife and I) both went about the interaction like nothing was out of the ordinary, and hopefully treated them with the respect they deserved. Later, we even discussed how shocked we were at Lowe’s’ commitment to having him/her work there. My wife thought it was very progressive and I couldn’t agree more. However, what I longed to do was go back to that store and talk with them, learn from them, but, alas, don’t recall ever encountering them again.

The second was the therapist I saw for a while. I had selected one who was listed as being knowledgeable about gender identity issues. I selected her (Liz) because I felt it would be easier to talk about my issues with a woman therapist. Well, she turned out to be transgender. She was a larger girl and generally wore mumus. We had many good sessions where we talked about me, but what I really wanted was to talk about her.

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Posts: 474
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

It's not at all unusual to see CDs/trans/nonbinary people in my city, in varying degrees of gender expression. I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable approaching someone, though. I know the last thing I'd want when out dressed is to have someone tell me they've clocked me, even if they're an ally or another one of us. "Couldn't help but notice you're a crossdresser, me too..." is just never going to land with me! Context is key; if I'm admiring a pair of shoes or a dress and someone says "those are cute" or whatever, fine. But, I think the greatest form of support is to let them be; that's what I'd want for myself.

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Posts: 3088
Lady
Topic starter
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

I thought after it was too late that I could have said something encouraging and short such as, ”Well done!", but it was too late.

Earlier here, I related about me being clocked while underdressing by a couple of teenaged girls inside a coffeeshop. One obviously snickered and said something that made the other one turn, to take a look.

If we go out into the wild, we need to learn to take whatever comes at us.

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Posts: 3088
Lady
Topic starter
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

"I wouldn’t consider myself the most observant gal. But I couldn’t miss the two that I have come across." Raquel

It was hard to miss with the two dressers that I related here (a 7” beard in a dress?), but there was another that my wife and I saw on a city bus. Dressed in something shiny and blue, long fingernails, no wig, some sort of make-up, flat-chested and slim, it was much more difficult to tell her gender, but we guessed male or fluid. She looked great, and nobody bothered her.

This is not just the result of being more tuned in and observant. It has to be because we are getting out there more often.

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Posts: 323
Lady
(@splitdecision)
Honorable Member     Doylestown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I’ve had two sightings this year. One was in early spring also at a Lowes. She wasn’t hard to miss considering she was way over dressed for a the occasion.  But to be fair I’ve seen plenty of CIS women overdressed for such a store.
the other was at a garden center/nursery.
a young man who appeared to be in his thirties who  I assume was there with his wife and young daughter bent over to pick up a flat of flowers giving me a clear view of his pink lace thong. Funny thing I was also wearing a lacy thong. I would have made a nice comment had it just been the two of us

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