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A Theory About "The Pink Fog"

17 Posts
13 Users
50 Reactions
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Posts: 316
Lady
Topic starter
(@oliviac)
Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 1 year ago

I have read many posts here on CDH about how many of us while dressed are in that "Pink Fog" and find dressing not only a great stress reliver in general but how dressing has helped some of us cope with stressful situations. This is one such story. 

The background story to all this happened 4 years ago when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was no surprise as my older brother had it too and was dealing with the side effects of his treatment. The two big side effects of prostate cancer treatment that can happen are being impotent and incontinent. The other alternative is no treatment and a much shorter time on this earth. This was the one time there was an advantage to being the youngest as knowing of brother's diagnosis they were testing me every few months and caught it in it's very early stages. On being diagnosed I had three choices. Have it removed now before it could spread and with a reasonable chance of minimal permanent side effects. Or wait and see and down the track have it removed but that would mean likely radiation or other treatment. Or I had probably around 10 years. I chose option 1 and had it removed straight away and have been extremely lucky not to have either of the two side affects that generally come with prostate cancer treatment.

Step forward to a few weeks ago when after 4 years of blood tests showed zero trace of any cancer I had a result that showed a tiny amount of prostate cancer was present. To say it rocked my whole world was an understatement. I thought I had beaten it but now I hadn't. I spent three days moping around almost in a trance I was so depressed.

The following day was I had an opportunity to spend the day as Olivia. I decided to get dressed up in femme and see what I felt like doing. Once I looked in the mirror doing my makeup and what I saw looked more female than male my demeanor started to change and my focus switched from thinking about my test result to making myself look nice and where was I going to venture to today as the woman I saw in the mirror. While I was out at the shops I had a lovely encounter with a sales lady talking about what we both do with our makeup and where we get our makeup. She told me about a where a few good makeup tutorials were on YouTube and TikTok. It was one of those encounters that just make you feel good where you were treated 100% as if you were any other woman. After that I felt so happy and totally shrouded in "The Pink Fog." After changing back to male mode I was not anywhere near as down as I was before. I was able to look logically without panicking at what my situation was. I had been asked to take a second test as the result was so unexpected and this was the first time I had considered the test may have not been correct in some way and that if it was there it had been caught early again.

The good news is the second test showed no sign of cancer and while I will be monitored closely there is a chance there was something funny with the first test to give that result. SO TO MY THEORY.

When I am dressed as Olivia and in the "Pink Fog" the only thing in my mind is being the best woman I can be and what that entails. Getting my walk right, makeup right and being alert to someone staring at me a bit funny. This is similar to when I ride my motorbike. When I am riding my motorbike there is nothing else going on in the world but me, my bike and the road. I get the same effects as I do when I am dressed. After a ride I feel less stressed and more able to tackle the problems of the world.

I had a psych once introduce me to mindfulness. The idea is we only worry about what may happen in the future and what has happened in the past. Almost never about what is happening right now. So if we can bring ourself to think only about right now we shouldn't be worried and at the least it will give us a break from our worries so we can better deal with them. My theory is this is why when we dress and are in the "Pink Fog" we destress and relax because the only think we are thinking of is being that beautiful woman that is in us all. My example above showed a day as Olivia gave me a break that let me come to terms with what I had to face. So there it is. My theory on why getting carried away in a pink fog dressing as the female we want to be is so good for us all.

Is there some truth to this or am I just full of it? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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16 Replies
6 Replies
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 740

@oliviac First, 🤞with the cancer.

No, imho, you are not full of it. A positive mind does help. And even if it doesn’t, you enjoy your time more.

Power to your dressing, in pink fog or pink nighties or both. 💚

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3838

@oliviac 

I can only speak of my experience as a trans woman.

Pink fog = girl brain = living authentically.

/LK 

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2154

@oliviac 

Hi, Olivia, thanks for sharing your story and for posting this interesting take.

I agree with your comments about mindfulness, when doing the prep, choosing the outfit, hair and makeup, I'm totally in the moment. Once done, I may be cooking, fixing bits of jewellery or even just watching television but I'm doing these things as me and remain fully aware. Not so much in drab as I can often be unaware and make silly mistakes (as my colleagues on the staff will confirm 🙄).

With regard to health, before joining CDH and welcoming Allie as just as valid a part of me, I was not a happy bunny. Never considered myself good looking, felt that I was "wrong, bad, selfish" etc. 

Now I'm complete and have found a happiness that I always believed I never could. I look in the mirror as Allie and, for the first time in my life, I like what I see. If we look good, to ourselves, we feel good about ourselves.

Works for me 😊.

Allie x

 

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(@oliviac)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 316

@alexina Thanks so much Allie for your lovely reply. It has been the same for me that the first time I have liked what I see in the mirror was when I saw a female looking back at me. Works for me too.

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(@geniv_cd)
Joined: 8 years ago

Reputable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 260

@oliviac 

Olivia, My experience with the “pink fog” is that when I dressed, the fog came, the longer periods of time I dressed and the more involved I became in the process of feminizing my self, the longer it lasted. I was widowed quite some time ago. It was traumatic to lose the one I loved, but at the same time it was also freeing. My departed wife wanted absolutely nothing to do with Genivieve, so I had very few chances to express my feminine side. After becoming single I was free to express that part of me that had been suppressed for so long. 
I no longer had to hide my clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. in addition I was free to stay en femme for longer than a few hours at a time. As the “pink fog” thickened, I stayed en femme for whole days, then for several days, then for a week, and finally for the longest time…just over a month. During those times, I wore my pretty things exclusively, did my hair, and make up daily, kept my nails pretty and stayed female 24, then 24/3, 24/7 and 24/35 days. I remember it being so nice not to have to worry if my lips were stained from my lipstick, or if I had completely removed all traces of my makeup or nail polish. The longer I stayed in female presentation the stronger the pink fog was! Waking up in lingerie after a lovely night’s sleep and putting on my bra first thing every morning served to make the pink fog nearly perpetual. 
Conversely, now that I am no longer presenting as Genivieve, that pink fog has dissipated. Dressing for me has lost most of its allure due to my age and some physical maladies. I have no regrets and continue to enjoy life. These days, I come here for contact and perhaps to offer a worthwhile comment or post once in a while. Happy Woman Face  

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1777

@oliviac Thank you for sharing this.

Doing something you love and value will always help with stress and worries.

Hugs,

Anna xx

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Posts: 7787
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Congratulations Olivia on your second test results.  As Valentina says a positive mind set does help.  Like the pink fog one gets uplifted and the positive attitude is so much better.

Alice

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Posts: 197
 Lacy
Duchess
(@rholtman96)
Reputable Member     Lincoln city, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Congratulations on your second test results that must have been quite a scare. By the way I think you might be on to something with your theory.

Lacy 

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Posts: 1037
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@oliviac 

Posted by: @oliviac

My theory is this is why when we dress and are in the "Pink Fog" we destress and relax because the only think we are thinking of is being that beautiful woman that is in us all.

I think there's some truth to that on a generic level. I don't think of it as a 'pink fog' but I think I understand what people mean by it. For me the dressing relieves that feeling, it doesn't generate or amplify it.

I'd also note that, for myself, getting dolled up has the side effect of not really having to be guy-me: Melodee has no mortgage or job or worries, really. Effectively a me vacation. I experience this in other ways in guy-mode, but being dolled up really takes the Life Stress -O-Meter down to zero.

My 2¢

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1 Reply
(@oliviac)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 316

@melodeescarlet Melodee your 2c is always interesting and insightful. Now that you say it that is so true that Olivia doesn't have all those day to day worries. It is like a mini getaway from it all. No wonder the stress meter takes a dive.

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Posts: 3397
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Anything that takes your mind away from the issue and gives you a sense of relaxation and comfort is good for the soul. Being in that little bubble of euphoria recharges yourself and sense of wellbeing.

Being dressed gives you a purpose and knowing what you want in the fuyure helps overcome all.

I hope you stay clear and seek more euphoria as Olivia.

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Posts: 155
Lady
(@butteryeffect)
Reputable Member     Preston, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

There is a recognised mental state called "flow state" and it seems to be what you are describing.

I'm really interested in the idea that people crossdress to destress and relax. I've heard that numerous times and I wonder if it is actually the other way around? Perhaps one of the things that is causing some stress, perhaps subconsciously, is what we are having to perform a "male" role and deny our true selves and that part of our stresses goes away when we dress.

So its presenting male that causes stress and  being our true selves is the natural, stress free state.

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1 Reply
(@oliviac)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 316

@butteryeffect Interesting concept Cathy. I've never thought of it that way before.

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Posts: 144
Lady
(@paulapantyhose)
Estimable Member     western part of state, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Thank you for sharing your story. I have been dressing a lot more since my test came back more concerning than it was in the past. I will soon be having surgery to remove mine and hopefully never have to deal with the more severe aspects of the disease or treatment side effects. 

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Posts: 166
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

For me there is definitely a different state of mind when I'm dressed vs when I'm not.  I use the analogy of a wooden plank with a natural bend.  I see myself as such. When I'm dressed the plank is in its natural comfortable bent state.  When I'm not dressed I feel like I'm having to straighten the plank to fit in with all the others.  The more opportunities I get to dress the more calm and centered I feel.  If I don't get to dress for a few days I can sense my stress building. 

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1 Reply
(@oliviac)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 316

@mkat3874 Thanks for your reply Michelle. I'm like you though it takes a few weeks for me when I start getting a little stressed if I haven't dressed. At that point I find myself thinking quite regularly about what I might wear next or how nice it will be to have a bra on or be in pantyhose again. It's who we are so it is who we must be.

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