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Hi Everyone,
I am looking for ideas of accessories I can wear when out in stealth mode - I now have complete outfits to wear out in public that are all ladies wear but look maleish (not sure if that’s really a word). Just wondering if anyone had ideas on accessories I could add that will add to me feeling more femme.
I have to say though - after the first time I am now fairly comfortable out. If you look really close you may notice the fly opens the other way or is really short or buttons are reversed or that my clothes are fashionable, soft and actually fit - but I don’t really care if they do. I am for once in my life - comfortable in my own skin.
Any ideas much appreciated!
I'd suggest unobtrusively observing women of your generation on the street, in malls, in restaurants. That will give you an idea of what is more or less in style in your area. What sort of purses do they like? Scarves? Bracelets, necklaces and rings? Wrist watches? There is a lot of online information for crossdressers about suitable proportions for your body type: a tiny ring might look out of place on a large hand. If you're out a lot you'll probably need at least a raincoat; that might be all many people will see of you on some days, so make it feminine.
With patient shopping for sale prices, you can buy many of the things you need without breaking your budget. For example, I found a lovely watch at Kohl's for about $12, battery included.
It will probably be easier for you if you wear everyday clothes as you make your observations. Sit on a bench at the mall, pretend to be playing with your smartphone and watch the world go by. One bonus of this research is that you'll pick up ideas for future purchases of shoes and everything else you probably want so you can look your best.
If you're new to buying feminine things, remember that it's easy to order online from retailers like Macy's and TJ Maxx and pick up your order with no shipping charge. Returns are simple. Nobody looks askance at a man picking up an order for a female friend or relative. If you see something while you're in a store, just buy it as if it were for somebody else. If you wonder about the return policy, just ask, "Can I return if if she doesn't like it?" Some clerks may even, without being prompted, offer a gift receipt on the assumption that you're buying it for a woman.
Good luck.
Melissa Davis
Great idea Melissa!
Will keep my eyes peeled.
Big Hugs
Hi Celeste,
Yes-I think you got it.
My reality at the moment is I want to express my femininity, and still look the best I can, when I go out, but not ready to try and actually pass as a woman.
So right now my reality is wearing sneakers/loafers for shoes. Tight form fitting bottoms (Jeans, Cords, Jeggings, or sweat pants), and finally crotch length tops (shirt/jacket combo or a hoodie). All of the above of items I am wearing are the woman’s version of these items. Someone I was chatting with online described it as the “soccer mom” look. Funny thing is my wife actually dresses very similar - she only wears a dress or skirt/blouse to more formal things. Of course she has much better footwear to show off her painted toenails - too bad she wears a size 5 shoe vs. my size 11 shoes 🙁
My wife thinks I am buying these because the clothes fit better and feel softer to wear so she has been totally okay with this and doesn’t really know I am doing it to express my inner woman - although women are very intuitive so maybe I just don’t know. I have always been a bit of a femme guy, even before we met (I pluck my eyebrows, shave my face every day, shave arms once a week, and trim my body hair really short).
Since my wife doesn’t know I would actually prefer wearing woman’s clothing she has totally been okay with it or at least she hasn’t said anything.
I would just like to take things further one step and find some items that make me feel/look even more feminine - not sure if that makes any sense.
I am thinking I am a little more lucky in terms of where I live - our community in the Toronto Suburbs is more accepting in that although there are likely many people who disapprove, they don’t say anything. It is now common to see two men or two women holding hands out in public, or kissing goodbye when they are separating. I have even seen a few gender fluid/neutral people who are expressing themselves beautifully without any hesitation. I wish I was one of them, and hope one day I will be, but there is some satisfaction thinking somewhere someone has probably already noticed I am wearing women’s clothing.