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Advice to your younger self

40 Posts
23 Users
139 Reactions
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Posts: 666
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 weeks ago

What advice would you give to your younger self, particularly to help them with their CD/TG journey?

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39 Replies
14 Replies
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 971

@valentina16 I would say to myself: “Don’t overthink this. Trust your instincts and don’t do anything stupid.”

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1188

@valentina16 My advice would be to confront your feelings before you make any big life decisions and get help working through them.   I would also tell myself to trust your instincts and that whatever decision you make will workout.   Finally, I would tell myself that I am resourceful and intelligent so that while the path may be tricky at times, I will get through it.

 

An another thing....buy the yellow dress you will see in Belk.  If you don't you will regret it.  Lol.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@lauren114 lol. I have never gone out and bought a dress or any outer clothing from stores. Postie (who most likely has me well sussed) always brings me mine to my front door. Thank goodness for eBuy and Temu. 💚

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 453

@valentina16 Follow your dream and ignore those that try to bash it.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@cherylt Yes, good advice. Unfortunately I waited until 60 to set this in motion. Now my many amazing dreams are starting to come into being. Not happen chance. 💚

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 453

@valentina16 I waited too long.

Now other things prohibit going further in my journey. Medical issues that preclude HRT and make surgeries more difficult and dangerous. Time is not in my favor either. I don't want to be 80 and transitioning so I can spend my days with bad hips, a walker and more. I should have followed my heart so long ago.

The folly of youth. When we have strength and resilience we lack the wisdom and fortitude. Then life reverses everything. 

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@cherylt Or as someone said to me many times (he at least did something right 😔), “why is youth wasted on the young”. I hope you enjoy cd in comfort.

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 453

@valentina16 We become old too fast and wise too slow.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@cherylt Hadn’t heard this one, but oh so true. TY 💚

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 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1119

@valentina16 listen to your parents lol possibly to have been more open minded 

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Lady
(@chellygirl)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 12

@valentina16 My first piece of advices would be Explore and enjoy as much as you can. I would tell myself to be myself and not what everyone else expects. If you want to keep who you are a secret that is up to you but remember the sooner you accept who you are the sooner others will too. 

I wish I would have explored my Cross Dressing more. Looking back I had so many chances I wish I had now. Now I am more comfortable today with who I am but I don't have the ability to explore like I once did.

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Lady
(@katey)
Joined: 4 years ago

Prominent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 726

@valentina16 stay the course sweetie you’re on the right path

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Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Joined: 3 years ago

Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 600

@valentina16 I Would let myself know that this need to dress will never go away and that it is important to accept that this is a part of me and that it doesn't make me a freak.  I would encourage myself to get a makeover to see what is possible early in life instead of not discovering that until my 70's.  Fully dressing with wig and makeup when I was young would have been so much fun and made me so happy I definitely would have encouraged my young self to fully indulge and accept my feminine side early on.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@michellemybell The Big Truth. It will never go away. 💚

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Posts: 25
Lady
(@dee2)
Trusted Member     Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 1 week ago

My advice would be to love and accept my whole self. Shame kept me as a prisoner for decades. 

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@dee2 Me too. 💚

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Posts: 1439
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Looking back, I could maybe have started down the road I'm now on, twenty years earlier.

So I'd say, listen better to yourself.  Think what might be behind your enjoyment of some things traditionally seen as more feminine.  Take more notice of your interest being piqued by topics of transition and trans-related issues, in news and other media.  Don't just dismiss your daydreams.

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Posts: 266
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Honorable Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

like everyone else on here. i should have started 40 years earlier, but i was married then and had no thought of being a cd. but when i started to do it, i went full speed ahead. and have done more than most that have been doing this for over 30 years. just dress and do it. don't wait forever and miss your chance to have some fun. you could drop dead anytime. 

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Posts: 847
Duchess
(@missylinda)
Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I would say first, you are not a freak.  Second there are many just like you. Third we are the lucky,  ones to walk in 2 worlds.   Fourth listen to Lorraine,  her feelings will guide you.  Fifth, wear high heels every chance you get, as in old age your ankle will not allow them.  😢

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Posts: 176
(@astrosteve)
Reputable Member     Santa Clarita and Oakhurst (I have a vacation home), California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Tell your future wife about it while you are dating, instead of suppressing the urge for 30 years.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@astrosteve Yes, good advice. Though of course 30 years ago, society was not quite so aware of the low risk of what we do, it is now so much more diversified (in spite of some efforts by certain people to suppress it, hey ho).

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Posts: 1026
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@valentina16

  • "Someone's reaction to you says everything about them and nothing about you."
  • "Everyone you meet is going through something you know nothing about."
  • "The enemy of good is perfect."

Not that my younger self would have listened, but at least my older self could say, "See...I told you," when I got here.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@melodeescarlet Wow, these are gold dust Melodee and quite general in nature, so they could be useful in many circumstances.

 I have another not-as-good one, “behind every front door there is an unknown story”.

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Posts: 1107
Lady
(@wendyswift)
Noble Member     Alberta, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

notes to my younger self :

- be honest and truthful to your future spouse.  Introduce the femme side early on in the relationship so it helps with transparency and shows that your are an honest person.  Plus it helps fend off purging.

- next point is purging.  Being honest with your spouse will help reduce purging.  I've tossed out way too many vintage items for fear of being caught.

- buy stuff that you know you'll wear, vs buying everything under the sun.  I've tossed out countless items because after one wear it just didn't feel right/look good.

- CDing is an ever changing journey.  The CDer I was younger is different than the CDer i am now.  It will always evolve.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@wendyswift All good stuff, TY. 💚

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Posts: 1100
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

I don't think I would have listened either.

I would have told my young self: Life is fleeting and you should spend your time doing things that satisfy you. Don't hesitate, youth is running out. Just be yourself before is too late.

Remind Desperado song: "Let somebody love you before is too late". That someone must be you. With all your heart and without fear.

Maybe I would have laughed. They say wisdom comes when youth is gone.

Gisela

 

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@firefly Wise words captured also in a beautiful song 💚

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Posts: 811
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

embrace your feminine side, make sure your SO/Wife knows about your dressing, if they cannot or will not accept it...move on. Dress often and do not let the shame and guilt over take you.

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@leah63 Key advice most definitely. TY 💚

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Posts: 1776
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

Don't leave it so long. I would love to see what I would have looked like fully dolled up when I was 30 years younger. 

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Posts: 3381
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Gosh that's a toughie Valentina.

What would I say? Well it matters not if they are C.D./Trans it may be this.

Be you, be honest with yourself and others, ride the bumps in the road, enjoy the straights and keep going. If it's legal, I will always have your back, guide you and be here for you anytime.

Because they are C.D./trans I'll add,' And before you ask, no you can't borrow my clothes so let's go shopping for you'.....

 

 

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@ab123 You’re special, very special. I can tell. 💚

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Posts: 2164
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Dress more, worry less

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@jjandme sounds like an alternative strap line to the Bobby McFerrin song “Don’t worry, be happy”! 💚

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Posts: 601
(@caroline2k)
Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I would say: don't torture yourself about why you are this way and for your own happiness, accept that's how and who you are. Don't be scared and make the most of your life being who you are and want to be. Life can't be back-dated.

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Posts: 89
(@judevderl)
Estimable Member     London, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 months ago

Advice to my younger self: Buy yourself a truly massive wardrobe. You're gonna need it. 😎 

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1 Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 666

@judevderl Lol. Too true. 💚

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