Almost caught

I can sympathize with you.  In the months leading up to my own disclosure to my wife, the stress was killing me.  Between the need to be true to who I was and keeping the secret from my wife, I was an emotional wreck.  My wife knew something had been bothering for weeks before I shared with her.  It was a great relief to both of us when I finally found the courage to be honest with her. Thankfully, I was blessed with woman who was accepting and understanding.  I wish thee the best and encourage you to move forward, but I understand that we each must be true to ourselves.

MacKenzie

I think you're right about telling her soon. We all develop our techniques for subterfuge, but the sooner we can get off that road, the better. I feel this to be the case, only I don't practise what I preach. I haven't had any close calls yet, though I often imagine the possible scenarios: my son finding my wig, "Mum! Dad's got a dead animal in his rucksack!", or my wife, on finding a rogue bra, "I knew there was another woman. Who is she?" At the moment, the out speech isn't an option for me, though. She tends to be uncomprehending or even scathing about CDs or transgender issues when they appear in the media. Oh dear!

I can sympathize with you Jennifer.  I had a few close calls as well.  Mine were when she found the duffel bag stashed away and wondered about the women's things in it.  I think I got away with some excuse or another once, maybe twice.  Eventually she found things again and wanted the truth.  Her first thought, or at least so I believed was that I was cheating.  When I finally confessed that yes, they indeed were my things and I had been crossdressing forever she said that had suspected for a long time.  It took a long time, and many talks, but we worked through it and now she is somewhat accepting of my feminine side.

This does prove, to me anyway, that the women in our lives are usually smarter than we give them credit for.  Their intuition is usually pretty good so when we think we have our secret in tact, and have covered our high heeled tracks, they tend to know more than we think.

Thanks for the responses ladies. You are helping give me courage to do what I need to do. I'm thinking I will need to tell her within the next few weeks. Eventually, she will figure it out, but it's better if she hears it from me before I'm caught. I've been able to shave everywhere and get away with it because she always talked about wanting me smooth. I never agreed to shave until I resumed crossdressing, though. It's also coincided with some weight loss, too (so I can look better in my dresses). So, she will get suspicious soon. I know there will be fallout, but at least I will be out of the closet.

LOL.   Almost... nope caught dead to rights.

Used makeup for the first time in ages as I had the whole day.   took it all off after a few hours as I had stuff to do.   Had a shower tonight and after in the bathroom the wife looked at my eyes and said did you have eyeliner on today?   Panic - do I lie or just play it cool and tell the truth?   I told the trurh and said I thought Id got it all off, but maybe I didnt.   Left it at that and she was okay with it....Im a little stunned to be honest that she just went "okay" and moved on.   Well I hope she has.

Funny thing is I dont have any on me but rather a dark mark under my eye where the hairs grow together and look like eyeliner.   LOL so I couldve just said nope.   I told her a while back that if she asks me I will tell her the truth as I wont lie about it.   Truth is a big thing to me now after all her lies.

I had been cross dressing seriously and often for a couple of years when I met my wife. At the time I was wearing pantyhose with short women's shorts and she noticed my legs. A few weeks after we met, she decided to surprise me by stopping by my place. When she came inside and noticed all the women's clothes lying around, her demeanor immediately changed. She thought I lived with a woman and was playing her.

I really liked her and was worried that this would be the end. If she had called first or I knew she was coming, I would have put the clothes away. I felt I was in a no win situation so I decided to just come clean. Since she already knew I wore pantyhose, telling her clothes were mine seemed to be the best way to go. She told me to dress up for her then.

I took one of my favorite outfits into the bedroom and put it on with makeup and the whole deal. I was nervous as hell walking out to show her. She had a shocked, surprised look on her face.  She looked me over for a while, then told me she couldn't believe how pretty and sexy I was. She liked it.

Wow! That would be a best case scenario for me. What a relief it must have been to have someone intrigued by the idea rather than repulsed. I suspect my wife will have a very different reaction. Just last weekend, she came back from a jewelry store and ripped on the trans woman that helped her. She said, "I just couldn't take him seriously. He had on this super short dress and hooker boots ..." I didn't say too much in return and tried to change the topic. Either way, I owe her the truth about who I am.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing your anxious moment with the ladies On CDH. I think the article is very timely because we have many new "friends" who have signed on in the last few months...and I thank the ladies who have replied to Jennifer's article.
I would like to relate my experience also. I was forced into retirement and my wife continued working. We were "empty nesters" so I gave in to my feminine side and started dressing when Kathy left for work. I was able to buy online and have the purchase delivered to the house ... No problem...my alter ego was blossoming with each new dress, shoes, intimates, etc. Christmas and Kathy's birthday gave me the opportunity to buy for each of us...however after four years the inevitable happened. Kathy came home early...I was like the deer caught in the headlights in fear... I immediately changed to drab and we discussed the usual questions: why.. Transition ...keeping it a secret... Our 40 years of marriage prevailed and Kathy doesn't fully understand my feminine side but requested that I dress only when she is not around. However, we went shopping together one day and she picked out panties and camisoles for me. We also went for a manicure together..Now that she is retired and has a circle of friends, she plans lunches and dinners to give me the opportunity to dress...
I have been signed on to CDH which has given me the opportunity to share my experience...and a special thank you to Cynthia who was so supportive when Kathy's mom passed away a few months ago. Thank you for listening.. I love you all...Leonara

Jennifer,

Yes, several years ago my wife called me at work; found a few pairs of my panties...she was VERY upset; told her no I was not having an affair; they were mine and I just liked wearing them...was under a lot of pressure at work and I found wearing them was a release...by time I got home she had read up on cding; believed me but still didn't want me to do it...not sure what she read about it; but it's clearly not as simple as please stop...and while I may have convinced myself my desire to CD was related to work stress; I know now there's more to it than that...we are not all binary when it comes to anything; gender is fluid and we are all on a spectrum.  I'm trying to figure out where I am on it and what it means...Thanks

Thanks, Kim. Your situation is what I'm afraid of right now. She works part time and is home when I'm off at work. There's always a chance she will find my collection and will assume I'm having an affair. I'm ashamed to say that I had one several years ago and we worked hard to get past it. I need to be able to tell her before she finds out. At least then I will have credibility. She will be upset, but trust won't be broken.

I had a live in girlfriend who found my stash of bras and panties and confronted me about it. She thought I might have been having an affair and got upset about it. In order to pacify her I told her about my crossdressing.  She told me to stop and also wondered if I had been wearing her clothes. I didn't stop of course and became more careful but during one of our frequent breakups she told some people about it and of course the word got out. I was subject to hints and remarks about it but just pretended that I didn't know what the person was talking about. This was many years ago, but I have a good friend who I talk to on the phone every daythat makes remarks about me being gurly.  When he calls he will ask if he is disturbing me while I put my makeup on or if I look pretty.  I just pretend I don't hear it or do not reply ,but a lot of the time when he does call I am fully dressed and I giggle to myself wondering what he would say if he saw me.

I'm a fan of disclosure as soon as possible for the reasons you outlined, and also to avoid the question "Why didn't you tell me earlier?". It has a lot to do with trust and keeping it secret does not help that.

Ive almost been caught as well by my wife. She left I waited 30 min so she didn't come back. I was in the process of pulling on her leggings I already had her panties on. She came into the bed room I had no idea she asked what I was doing I told her I was getting dressed. She said love ya gotta go Im late. She never mentioned anything, she didn't look surprised. I think she didn't realize I had her panties on and I dropped the leggings quick. Afterward when she left. Crazy