alone or not alone?

I prefer with my SO, because I still lack confidence enough to go it alone. But my confidence is growing everyday.

Hugs,

Kelly

Taking those first steps in venturing out is certainly a very hi charged and emotional experience. One who does decide this may be the time should seriously consider going out with some sort of company. A fellow crossdresser,  someone experience that knows about this. Someone familiar with the hindsights of safety and convenience of going to safe places. More the merrier as it's always safe in numbers... besides you may need a voice of experience to get you through these nervous times. Having a significant other,  your wife,  gf or mutual gg friend would be awesome and my first choice.  But for me my wife just isn't ready to go out as she's still dealing with her issues and very uncomfortable but still she's showing more to possibly entertaining that possibility.  I could only hope.

Company is certainly something everyone should consider for enjoying such an exhilarating experience , especially as it's important to one's self asteam. Make your experiences a memory to remember.. 🌷

You shouldn't be scared to go out, I checked out your pics and your beautiful. Gather up some confidence and just try some short trips, go for a drive and the next time stop and get gas. The more you do it the more your confidence will grow.

[postquote quote=367027]

thanks so much! is that the best place to start you think? probably night time?

It is so much better to have a companion cd or friend with you for confidence at first. Most girls dont have that option in here but dont let that hold you back. We all started out with the first time going out for a drive followed by stopping for a brief moment to buy something. Then the next step is going out alone to a place like friendly cd shops or events that you will find by googling your city to find such places. Good luck

A few day ago, I was out in public with eye makeup and painted fingernails. I went through the drive through at a hamburger place and the girl at the window said: oh, I love your nails, she didn't even notice the make up. And again yesterday I went to Sonic, and the male car-hop  saw my nails and called me sweetie. Both of these were confidence boosters for me. Its not as bad as we anticipate most of the time. Go for it gurl. It will thicken the pink fog like nothing else.

Kelly

The times I've gone out, even for grocery shopping, I did so alone.  I carried myself like a confident woman, nobody gave me a hard time and I loved it.

Hi Vanessa, being retired, I can go out in public every day en femme.  I'm very lucky that I don't need to wear makeup or a wig in order to pass.  I've often been mistaken for female even when dressed in drab.  I pretty much go out alone all the time usually dressed in casual female attire with some androgynous items.  I would love to go out with a group of CDs.  But I live in a small rural city in northern Canada where most CDs are closeted. I talked to the owner of a store that sells female clothing to men and she tells me there are lots of CDs in town; but try to find them, geez.  I did find one who is a CDH member and we've gone out for tea a few times.  It would be nice to find more though.

When my wife and I go out together and I'm in drab, she hates it when people use the female pronoun for me.  Usually she corrects them (typically it is a waitress) and tells me that I shouldn't like being referred to as a woman.  I really hate to say this and it is a bit of a generalization but in rural northern Canada a lot of cis women dress in jeans, t-shirts, boots, jackets that look quite male in appearance so getting all glammed up would make a person really stand out and draw attention to oneself. So I guess that's why it is so easy to pass with minimal effort (plus it is cold here for more than half the year).  Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.

Hi Vanessa

I go out alone. I am retired so enjoy getting up and becoming Carla and going out. I enjoy being by myself. I get to go where I want and shop where I want. I walk in with my head high, dressed and not grungy. My toes and nails are done. I enjoy swaying down the isles and enjoying my freedom.

Carla

I have not ventured out. Main reason is that I have not recovered from a purge. I am slowly replacing all my things. Then I have to acquire some decent makeup skills. Everyday when I walk my dog, I think about being out walking en femme. And if I went to a store or event, my wife would be with me.

Hi Vanessa,

I’ve only gone out alone. I go out shopping to the mall en femme and have never had a problem. I’m only 25 and not that muscular so I can pass decently for a woman if they don’t study me to hard which hardly anyone does.

Hi Kay, I always dress en femme walking the dog, but it is a very subtle dressing style.  You can start by wearing a bralette under an androgynous top and with a lite nylon shell jacket in a neutral color. And some unisex casual sneakers with ladies socks. It is a nice start and then you can build from there.  I'm retired so my hair is past my bra strap. I don't know if you are able to let your hair grow. Having a bit longer hair will also help not having to wear a wig while walking the dog. When it gets a bit chillier, use a very long nice scarf around your neck and/or a non-masculine hat/toque and the length of hair won't matter as much.  My dog also has a pink collar and I use a pink leash. Walk using shorter feminine strides (but not over exaggerated hip swinging), arms at sides palms facing forward a bit.  Keep in touch Kay, Hugs, Krista.

When I first started going out, I would only go with another CD or my BF Vincent.  If I went out alone, it was always in the safety of the night where I could remain anonymous to any passerby.  I eventually outgrew that fear and finally told myself and the world "I am here, deal with it."  I was so tired of hiding from everything and everyone for so many years.  Even when I was still living with my mom though, I never let her see me dressed and we never talked about it.

Once I got in the habit of shopping in daylight, by myself, I came to the realization, even back in the 1980's and 90's, that most folks just didn't care as long as I was behaving myself and not stirring up any trouble or breaking the law somehow.  I don't mind a bit about going out alone, but it definitely more fun with a girlfriend or 3 having a group outing.  I have noticed that when there are 2 or more of us out together, even the soreheads keep their opinions and prejudices to themselves, which is where they belong in the first place.

Both of my nieces will even join us if I give them enough of heads up because they know we are going out to have a damn good time at the club and maybe even run some of the 'sparkley' guys off of a pool table or something.

PaulaF

Hi Vanessa Nice to meet you and wow girlfriend you have nothing to worry about in looks just work on confidence and having girlfriend tagging along you will be fine . Just baby steps girlfriend and short trips to start then a dinner date with girlfriend then some bar room travels just play with your time and you will be ok . And again you are a pretty girl so put that part out of your worries away and good luck.

Stephanie Bass