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An unusual Monday morning

12 Posts
10 Users
38 Reactions
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Posts: 57
Lady
Topic starter
(@randialex)
Estimable Member     Shaftesbury, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 months ago

As I was having a day at home I decided to dress in my tights, A line skirt, top, make up and sandals to show off my painted toenails. All dressed I heard a woman calling the name of our dog, it was may neighbour which meant that the dog was out of the garden, no time to change so I made my first public entrance dressed. We eventually found the dog having walked round the nearby estate, my neighbour knows I'm trans and no one else noticed. When my neighbour first saw me she wondered what this crazy woman was doing out in sandals on a cold morning but finally recognised me.

I do wonder if us closeted people worry too much about the reaction we might get from others.

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11 Replies
4 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1067

@randialex No need to wonder, Randi. It's 100% certain that closeted people worry too much about what reaction they'll get. 😉

Good on ya for just going and doing what needed to be done! 👍 

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(@jennyphose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     West Midlands, United Kingdom
Posts: 96

@randialex 

Hi Randi - thanks for sharing the story - I bet it was one of those moments where there was just no choice but to get out there and deal with the fall out later - glad that there was no adverse reaction from your neighbour.  I guess if they knew you are trans already, then it was less of a surprise.  And if no-one else noticed, then you must be doing lots of things right!

And yes, I think we all live in fear of what others will think of us - especially the neighbours as it is so close to home, and that we think they'll think badly, or spread rumours and make it difficult for us... which of course may be true in many cases, but largely unfounded.  In reality, the probably couldn't care less what you do.

Furthermore, I don't think that it is actually the fact of the neighbours seeing us or finding out that is the main concern - it is more to do with once they know, who will they tell, and there may be friends and relatives we may not want to know right now, or indeed ever.  For those of us with children, we probably want to protect them, as their peers will likely tease them or worse....so it's more about others finding out than the neighbours knowing, or that's my feeling anyway.

Away from the neighbourhood, and out in the public, I have found that no-one is really too bothered, or look up long enough from their phones to notice.  I've had a few odd looks, and sniggers, but in the main, the reaction from others is usually positive.  Especially if you just aim to blend in.... maybe different if you strut your stuff in full on drag in the middle of a busy shopping street during the day of course.... 😉

Keep on doing what works, and maybe chasing your dog around the neighbourhood is a good excuse to be out there living the dream.  😉

Jen x

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Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 9 months ago

Reputable Member     Blearmill, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 174

@randialex yes, we do worry too much.   I have met most of my neighbors by now and they all take a live and let live attitude.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

Posted by: @randialex

I do wonder if us closeted people worry too much about the reaction we might get from others.

I would say that they do worry too much, based on reading comments here over a few years.

However, we all have our own fears, restrictions, and families to manage. We are not all the same. You are lucky to have a neighbour who knows what is going on.

 

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Posts: 934
Lady
(@ashleigh)
Noble Member     Ocala, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Great story! Thanks for sharing it. I agree, worry too much about getting caught and what others might think. I have been out dressed more times than I can count in many different places and events. I have never been confronted by anyone in a negative way. Once the initial nervousness of being out goes away, you can relax and have fun. People are most often so wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t even take the time to notice other people, let alone what someone might be wearing. 

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1 Reply
(@Anonymous 100087)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 304

@ashleigh that is true. i never had a problem with anyone and i have been going out for over 10 years. it seams regular people find us interesting and will often come over and talk to me.  that never happens in guy mode. im not totally passable but i try & they dont really care if i am.

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Posts: 827
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

When I decided to stop hiding away, my neighbour called round to ask if we'd mind taking in a parcel she was expecting. I opened the door as Cerys. It was the first time she had seen me in Cerys mode. "Oh, you look nice," she said, "are you going somewhere?" I explained that it was as crossdresser and that I no longer wanted to hide away. Her response was "Good for you!'. It hasn't changed a thing between us. My neighbours the other side are Muslim. They were amazing about it. The wife's father is in his 70s, a real old Cardiff Muslim. When he first saw me he didn't mention it. I eventually asked him if he had any questions. His answer "It's all good by my. Your a good person, c that's all that matters. If anyone says anything against it Fk 'em!". The man is a legend. So matter of fact. All my neighbours have now met Cerys. Neither of them have an issue. I possibly live as Cerys these days. Never a problem. I've said many times on this forum that the secret hooks the power. When it stops being a secret, it had no power. Life is so much less stressful now I have nothing to hide. 

Cerys.

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Posts: 304
(@Anonymous 100087)
Reputable Member
Joined: 2 months ago

Hope everything went alright with your neighbor. As for going out it would not bother me a bit what anybody else thought. If they want to talk I wouldn't have a problem with that for I'm not ashamed for who I am.

 

Allison 

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Posts: 57
Lady
Topic starter
(@randialex)
Estimable Member     Shaftesbury, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 months ago

ladies - many thanks for your replies and of course you are all correct in that it doesn't matter, I just need to readjust my thinking, I'll get there soon

R xx

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Posts: 3437
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

It can be quite understood why some would be in fear at being caught but in a lot of cases such as those above it can be a surprising and positive one. I love Cerys analysis in that a secret holds power and once out it's gone, you are in control. Wise thoughts.

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Posts: 1797
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I live 24/7 and have been out in public at least 500 times and have never had a problem. 

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