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Anyone Discover Existing Friends here?

20 Posts
12 Users
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Posts: 827
Baroness
Topic starter
(@river)
Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Im often worried that if I put too much information about myself that someone I already know may recognize me. but at the same time that would probably be wonderful.  I look at alot of my friends for signs. One I thought may also be CD told me of a CO worker that transitioned and I immediately said is she on HRT?. he then said what the heck is that.  I immediately thought ah crap, and back peddled a bit to sound less informed.  but that certified I was wrong.  As he continued to not be so understanding.  Ah well.  Has anyone ever discovered someone here that they were already friends with or an old friend that you were both unaware of your feminine selves?  Or thanks to a comment from @finallyfiona . Come out to someone in which they replied Me Too !! I bet that would be a good story. Cheers RC

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5 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3858

@river 

Anyone that finds me on CDH (or other sites) is either a CD, trans, or an ally.  And now we have something we can share and talk about!  So yes, I would love to discover a friend is a member of our community. 

/EA

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@river Wouldnt that be wonderful to find a friend with the same feminine interests.  Cant picture it but I am sure I must know someone like me!!

 

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1742

@river I have discovered someone here who I met from another CD group, but never someone I knew outside the CD community,.

Many years ago a GG friend who ran a transformation business had a meetup where we went to lunch, then went shopping at Dress Barn, and finally back at her place for a group photo of what we got. My (then spouse, now) ex went with us that day. We put up the photo on the group's meetup site. Well, my ex's sister must have been doing an image search because she found the photo (otherwise, what would she be doing looking at photos of a crossdressing/trans group?). She made a disapproving comment to my ex who relayed the message to me, but her sister never said anything directly to me. If you're concerned about being discovered, you may want to avoid posting public photos.

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Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@alison-anderson Thats cool to find someone here that you already knew from another site. the intent of this was not worrying about getting discovered. For me only my profile pic is online and my wife does not even recognize me in it so im probably good lol. everything else is blocked. I have a few friends that show similar signs of possibility of CD tendencies.  It would be scary at first but I think all in all an amazing thing to figure out one of them is already here. I wonder what that first face to face would be like after that discovery.  Probably alot of tongue and cheek comments 😉  Have a great day RC

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1742

@river It wasn't even from another site. There was a woman who ran a transformation business and would throw parties in her home from time to time, and I knew this person from these parties. I also ran into them the last two years at Keystone.

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Posts: 1335
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

In many cases it might be impossible to tell as many folk here do not post photographs and use aliases and generalisations of locations. It is probably only those who are comfortable with any discovery that would post identifying information -- most especially photographs. If someone I know comes on here and finds photographs of me (which they would) they could hardly go and crow about it elsewhere without having to say how they found out, which might raise many questions about what they were doing here in the first place. I don't worry about being discovered, in fact I might even be a little pleased.

 

In answer to the direct question though, the answer is no, and very unlikely ever to be yes.

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Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@rebeccabaxter I agree its not really a big fear.  Someone that knows me could already figure it out by specifics I have said though mostly on private chats. But I have often wondered what a discovery like that would be like. probably very cool. Cheers RC 

 

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1728

Interesting concept Becca. I would never reveal my femme side to anyone but yes it's sort of exciting that I'm out there if anyone wants to look hard enough. And yes I have pics ... xx

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Posts: 1460
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Given that the online car forum I'm an admin of has hundreds if not thousands of active members in a similar age range, and I've met at least a couple of hundred of them, there's a distinct possibility that someone else I know from there is also on here.  If so, they could even have met me at this house, which is also recognisable from my public photos.  Other than that, it's really only the car model, site name and name of my hometown that stand between me and potentially being outed to the entire car club.  I've guarded this information so far in public on here, but I'm aware that at least my location could be guessed by sleuthing through my posts.

That said, this summer it's probably going to have to become an open secret.  My best friend will hopefully come to stay for a couple of weeks - he was the first person I came out to, last autumn - who's also from the car club, the resident retro-fitting and electronics guru.  During that two weeks I am hosting visits to my driveway by other club members from this end of the country to take advantage of his services, which are normally too far away to travel to.  But I am also going to be living here as Fiona 24/7 as far as possible - although not for things like getting down & dirty underneath the cars to swap out rear bumpers!  Once we know who's coming on which days for which jobs, I'm planning to let them know by private message about my personal situation and to expect to see someone different, but ask them to continue to address me as usual in posts on the open forum.  Since I have no male dysphoria, I can also offer to present as usual if they feel they already know me too well, or would have cultural or religious objections.  I'll also let the rest of the forum admin team know.  With the genteel and progressive nature of the club, I'm confident that there won't be any huge scandal about it.  I'm not sure I'd want to do the same thing on a Facebook group for that car though!

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2 Replies
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@finallyfiona You especially dont want to get under a car with breastforms oh geeze what a hot muffler would do to them. 😉 oh and nails do not mix with tinkering either lol.    thanks for the reply . it makes me think I could have written this differently. As the same story  could be said to anyone coming out to a friend and having the friend say wow me too !!  that would also fit into this.  I cant imagine that happening often.  but would be so cool. Cheers RC

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1460

@river Strangely enough when I did come out to my friend, it was because I wondered if he was the same way inclined, from a comment in a conversation we'd had the previous time he stayed with me.  Turns out I'd read the comment the wrong way, but I knew that he'd be completely cool with me outing myself anyway and I wasn't disappointed on that score.  He's in both my corner and my OH's corner as we come to terms with the new normal since I came out to her over Easter.  He's got both our backs and, if our relationship does survive for us to ever get married, his place standing on my right is now well and truly earned, even though it was already freely given.

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Posts: 1118
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

I would love to discover existing friends here, but that's an almost impossible dream, since I am the only Panamanian active in CDH and TGH for my knowledge. I forgot the worry a long time ago. And, since I'm somewhat paranoid, for some time I was gnawed at the idea that someone would identify me and that could affect those I love, not so much me, who has always known how to face life. I think I am strong enough to survive. I have already managed to overcome many struggles during my life. But after analyzing it carefully, I knew that someone would have to go to a lot of trouble just to try to ruin my life and I don't see any logic in that. It would have to be someone with a superfluous, meaningless life to do that. However, I am extremely cautious with photographs. Trauma maybe. I once came close to getting in trouble for a private message pic on another site. Although I think I'm getting over it now. In Harrisburg I agreed to have some photos in which I appeared posted online. Pendejadas mías (it means my nonsense, I guess), like they say in my country.

Gisela

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@firefly It would be such a blow to humanity for such a person. To  go thru so much trouble just to hurt someone else. Unfortunately they exsist and some of us feel the need to be careful which I completely understand.  Though just imagine finding out that one of your closest childhood friends that moved away. is a member here. Thoughtful RC 

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Posts: 26
Lady
(@dianep)
Trusted Member     Burns Flat, Oklahoma, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I found a couple friends on here form the other site and have been happy to find them. I've only been dressing since Sep of 22 but it just feels so right, normal and natural to me to be dressing as a woman.

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Posts: 125
Duchess
(@traci429)
Reputable Member     Brighton area, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I am also a little bit worried about others discovering me but then I had a thought when I was speaking with my counselor recently. I said if they discover me then why are they looking at this site? I figure they are looking for a CD friend or curious. Either way, I am ok if they find me. My therapist also recently asked me “why don’t I tell others I am a Crossdresser?”. I said because of acceptance and the male dominated jobs I have. They might be homophobic and not accept me. In any event I would be ok if someone discovered me here and ask them “ how did you find me?” -Traci 

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Posts: 1103
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Noble Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I wonder sometimes if I know someone on here. Maybe a secret CD or an out-open co-worker who came out as trans. I see screen names that resemble their girl chosen name and I wonder.

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@lea-jhene Agreed me too. if i check my area, there are 100s of members one would think very possible. as you would expect like people to eventually do like things.  guess the easiest way to know would be to use our IRL names . but thats not for me 😉 Cheers RC

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Posts: 875
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I discovered that the site's first managing ambassador, Codille, and I had known each other in real life for many years.  I become suspicious when I noticed that several of her posts here matched posts she made on Facebook under her real name.  It was really a small world occassion for both of us.

MacKenzie Alexandra

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@ladymakenzie Thank you thats the kind of stuff I was hoping to find. that must have been crazy when you realized it.  did you just confront her ? how did you reveal to each other ? More Deets please lol RC

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