As I look into the mirror

As I look into the mirror, I am scared of what I see,
Tear filled eyes return my stare and I can feel their plea.
The person I’ve been hiding for so many, many years
Is looking back at me, and I can see how much she fears
That I will lock her up somewhere so no one else will know
How she’s become so big a part of me-I just can’t show.
The world is not so kind to those it does not understand-
Who do not fit their images of woman or of man.

For some it’s all so clear- their body doesn’t match their mind,
They know their only choices are to die or else to find
A way to change their body and to free their inner soul.
So finally they’ll have the chance to be complete and whole.

For me, though, it is not so clear-my thoughts seem all akimbo-
I’ve lived my life not here nor there –instead I am in limbo.
Not certain yet just who I am, I float from day to day-
Grasping for signs of where my future lies but who can say,
Though doubts and fears abound, I trust that SOMEWHERE there’s a plan-
A reason for the way I feel –I just don’t understand.
And though I’m so much older now and both my kids are grown
And many times I feel my destiny’s to be alone-
I somehow still hold out some hope that one day I may find
One who will know the inner me and keep an open mind.
Would they be male or female? I’m not sure that it would matter-
For living life alone seems worse and certainly much sadder.

So guess I’ll close this out-I thank you all for your kind ears-
Your friendship is so precious that it oft renews my tears.
And to that frightened girl who from the silver mirror peers-
“We’re one-and never will we part-we’re in our golden years!”