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Just now, I tried to buy something from IKEA in the UK and just for a laugh, since I went there in person yesterday en femme, I tried to order it under my feminine name of Rebecca Baxter. It all seemed to go OK but of course I had to give my male-relevant debit card number and they refused the transaction and told me to contact my bank. I didn't bother doing that but instead, ordered the things I wanted under my male name and using Paypal; this all went through without a hitch.
My question is -- and although this is mostly relevant to the British banking system, I would be interested in the situation in the USA -- can I contact my bank and have a separate name. In other words, could I get a bank card in the name of Rebecca Baxter and basically have to different names on the same bank account? I don't really want to contact my bank in the first instance in case someone flags it all up as suspicious, so just wondering if anyone has done this.
Sometimes I think it would be easier because if I'm out en femme and buy something on a card and they decide to look at the card, they will see a male name and thus ruin the whole experience of shopping as a woman.
Becca
@rebeccabaxter There are various reasons why I would be wary of doing this which are red flags. However, you could just have your initials on the bank card. Regarding online purchases, you can have them addressed to whoever you like, so have them sent to your femme name, pay from your male name.
I can't honestly think of the last time someone actually looked at my card when I used it in the shop.
Hugs,
Anna
@rebeccabaxter It is my understanding that you can work with your credit or Debit card company to get the name of your choice on a card, or even two cards registered to the same number with unique names. this also works for couples who share an account.
Why not just go to the bank as Rebecca and ask if they can set you up with two cards, one for Becca and another for that other guy 😉
I have an internet bank, have had for the last 22 years, there are no branches to go to, but a secure message to them possibly won't do any harm, it's only an enquiry after all.
In the US, many banks are happy to issue a secondary card with another name on it. I used an American Express with my female name for all my girly expenses. When I requested it 5 years ago, I explained that I'm non-binary and sometimes go by a female name.
Changing the name on the primary card holder is another story. Proof of identity and a court order are required. I'm going thru that now. It's a pain.
/LK
In the US, many banks are happy to issue a secondary card with another name on it. I used an American Express with my female name for all my girly expenses. When I requested it 5 years ago, I explained that I'm non-binary and sometimes go by a female name.
Changing the name on the primary card holder is another story. Proof of identity and a court order are required. I'm going thru that now. It's a pain.
/LK
Interesting. I'll see what my bank says. I won't need to change my identity though as I have no plans to leave my male persona behind.
@rebeccabaxter Becca, this can be a difficult thing to try to explain and accomplish. I tried about a year ago to get Cassie added to my male checking account. I was told that unless I had a court document officially changing my name, no can do. I was able to get 2 charge cards in Cassie's name, they were a second card connected with my male identity. Once I explained over the phone they were easy to work with.
Cassie
@rebeccabaxter It was surprisingly easy for me to add Lea to my mastercard. I went online and simply added a secondary user under her name. They didn’t ask for any proof Or ID. Once I registered they sent me a card in my name. I use it to keep track of all the money she spends on clothing, jewelry, and going out for dinner with her friends. It’s a small fortune! 😃
Well, I've written to my bank, I'll let you know how it goes; I'm not hopeful, I'll probably get cut off as a scammer now.
We just contactded the bank and notified them that "Jinny" was an authorized user.
and I have one CC in her name for tricky situations.
I tried to follow the advice on CDH to get a second card. Either I blew it or the bank did because they forced me to get a second account with a different name on it. The service agent probably got a bigger commission that way.
Just adding a new user to your current account is the way to go, if they let you and if you do it right.
@harriette I won't be getting a second account, it's either two names on this one or not at all, banking is complex enough.
I think it depends on the bank, and whether it is a credit or debit card. If it is a debit card, they may want Rebecca's name on the account. For credit cards, some banks allow an authorized user who can spend but perhaps not check balances online or pay the bill. They also may or may not require a government ID. If they require a government ID, I wouldn't get a card as I don't want to have two names linked to the same ID. I did get a card in Alison's name from a credit card company about a year ago without having to give an ID. Alison's card has a different number, but the account is shown in my male name. Alison's transactions are listed seperately on the bill. I used my real surname on the card and not the surname I use online.
A number of years ago I was watching the TV/telly. After watching a sporting event and the post-game, I left it on for background noise (and some shorts they had on). I heard a commercial/advert for a bank where they explicitely said you can get a card issued in whatever first name you preferred. I wrote about it in the old forums, but it doesn't seem to be there any more.
Rebecca, the bank may not change your name unless you provide a deed poll and proof you have officially changed your name. It's to do with money laundering and tax etc. They should, as mine did take the title off.
The credit card may be easier. Some years ago I applied for a second card on my account and I got it with no fuss.
Another, more relevant as you are a certain age is a bus pass. When I got mine I asked if they could take the title off, and they did. I have a femme picture and an added bonus is it is a form of I.D. too.
@ab123 See my conclusion below.
Doesn't seem like there are any official documents I can get under my femme name. Getting the title taken off and a replacement intitial doesn't work because Baxter and my official surname name are radically different (anyone can spell Baxter, no one spells my real name correctly, ever). Just have to live with it I suppose, unless I want to officially have a girl's name.
Hi Becca,
Contact the bank and add Becca as an authorized user on the card. I’ve done that here in the US. Should the UK banking laws be different it might not work.
Alice
@aliceunderwire See my reply below for the conclusion. Unfortunately, since Rebecca Baxter can't officially exist, she can't be an authorised user either.
And that was that.
Just received a reply from my bank and it's not going to happen. Their position is that they wil only issue cards in the name of the account holder but I can change the name of the account on receipt of deed poll evidence (the UK government acceptance of an official name change) and evidence of the names and different signatures on the account. I could convert my account to a joint account but then I'd have to prove that Rebecca Baxter actually existed as a physical and official entity, which of course I can't do as I can't officially be two people. Ah well, it was fun imagining it.
Since I'm not officially changing my name or gender this is all a non-starter. It's a shame but, since I'm not changing gender, it was really only going to be a nice thing to do for my CD life.
As it happens, it is quite easy to change one's name by deed poll in the UK. but of course then I'd have to inform so many people and it would just look odd because for most of the time I would be a man officially with a girl's name, and we all know the lyrics from Johnny Cash's Boy Named Sue.
Anyway, I tried but it's not to be.
Becca
xx
