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So, last night, I have taken another step in accepting what, or who, I am.
My cd persona which here I call Ronnie has always been kept seperate from the rest of my world. Our wardrobes were always in seperate areas. My clothes occupied my closet and dresser while hers were in a suitcase or a box.
While I have always saw Ronnie as another part of me, I have always kept her in a diferent space, time, and world. She was like my dirty little secret. I always thought of Ronnie as the little girl in my head trying to claw her way to freedom.
As of last night, that is no more. If Ronnie is me and I am her than why should we not coexist. Ronnies dresses and tops now hang in the closet with my suits and shirts. My underwear drawer is now a mix of boxer, panties, bras, socks, and stockings. My male and female jeans and a few skirts occupy another. T-shirts now share a space with tanks and blouses. And now, thanks to my wonderful wife, my shoes are a mix of sneakers and two new pairs of heels. Ronnies wig even occupies a space on the top shelf.
For me this signifies that i am Ronnie and she is me and that it is ok for us to coexist. She is no longer a scared girl in my head. She is me. Its no longer us, our, his, hers, its now mine. I love Ronnie because I love myself. We are the same person.
Its funny. I chose the name Ronnie because it is the androgynous version of my own name, but I chose Me initially as a way to register to this sight. I think now there may have been a deeper meaning to it.
