Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
They say that crossdressers will act and appear as their ideal woman would and I think that as much as physically possible that is true most of the time. It’s also said that we “learn” our “gender,” and as when I see a woman or girl who represents that female ideal I dream as much of being as being close to I also wonder how to be some kind of complimentary male ideal. Honestly, I’m so put-off by masculinity I have no idea!
Unfortunately dressing for real is unlikely to ever be a part of my life but I wonder if I’d could if I could get enough appreciation for masculinity that I could learn how to be better as a man. If that’s my life I want it to be the best it can be.
These are the little things, the way a woman talks and moves that excites me in so many levels. What can I do to make my male self as perfect as possible that seems so obvious to be the perfect woman?
Has anyone ever gained that kind of perspective? Have you, while dressed looked at men in a new way and seen the right way to be one?
Had to think about this for a while, before replying. Yes, I do look at men in a new or different way, when I am cross dressed. I tend to be a bit critical of some men, and that makes me think how I need to improve, when I am back in male mode. Sometimes a guy will stare at me, when I am in girl mode, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. It also reminds me to not stare at a lady, when I am in male mode.
I think bouncing between the genders actually makes us better men.
Yeah so hard not to stare especially if you’re like us and have two reasons. I’d love to get that in check better and I know my wife would appreciate it. That’s definitely one of the big things though I’ve been thinking about the little things more, most body language, my tone of voice, etc.
Being a better man? I wonder if there is a cross dressers chapter of the Free Masons?
What is your definition of the perfect male? The sensitive, metro-sexual, urbanite, or the plaid wearing, tobacco chewing, forest dweller? Or...? So many questions.
I have always been critical of men and especially in their expectations of how one should behave as a man - and their ultimate behaviours!
If that's what it takes, no thanks. That's not me.
Yet I'm not a woman either.
I have a strong feminine side, people always used to say I took after my mother when I was younger, and that really played with my brain - did that explain why I wanted to dress up?
Not really, as I knew I wasn't a girl - I just wanted to be with girls and dress like them.
So to be the perfect man?
I guess that is every man's quest, whether they know it or not, and first you got to decide what that means to you, and how you achieve it.
Love Laura
I think that being a heterosexual male cross dresser implies a real lack of interest in masculinity, even when we’re feeling pretty comfortable in our own natural bodies and the roles it puts us in. For me this means getting so lost in the feminine both as an outsider and fantasy insider I don’t even know what to do with myself to make my male self the best I can be. Does that make any sense?
Great topic Aoife. Earlier today on another forum post I commented how I preferred to be with girls when I was young but I spent so much more time with the boys. I learned how to be a boy and how to be a man mostly by imitation. None of it came natural to me. I didn't take notes but it was as if I had to study to pass as a boy and as a man. I didn't follow (American) football until the 9th grade and then only because if you were a boy and didn't watch football there must be something wrong with you. I started watching and studying football just to be able to talk to the other guys about something, but almost all of my best friends were girls.
I believe that cross dressing makes men into better men in so far as walking a mile in someone else's shoes gives you a better perspective and understanding into their life so that would lead to treating women better for most men. At the bare minimum an appreciation for all of the effort and time women had to put into their life to learn how to do make up, to dress, to shop and the continued time every day to maintain their chosen style. I don't think I'll ever again be asking myself "why isn't she ready to go yet?"
It would drive me crazy the way my mom would talk about my brother having more boyish interests i.e. military stuff as opposed to my (uh... feminine?) interests like music and... hockey...
Crazy stuff that never made sense to me. "Girl stuff" never appealed to me either, so at least I knew I was on my own either way! Applause on managing football, nothing could get me there no matter how hard to was pushed in high school thanks to my unfortunately large size. All the stopping... I don't get it and I'm not sure whether that makes me less of a man or just less of an American.
Always craved that additional perspective and I try to get into it in drab but old ways die hard, even if you never liked them in the first place. Certainly it's helped me never expect too much out of women (I hope, at least I'm better off that most guys, I think.)