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A few recent discussions have got me thinking about the things — “big” things (perhaps a shopping spree) or “little” things (perhaps a compliment on a lipstick shade) — that someone (a spouse, partner, friend) might do or say that shows they fully support you as a crossdresser or trans woman.
So, I’d love to hear examples of those big or little things someone has done or said — or perhaps you wish they would do or say — that made (or would make) you feel fully supported.
Many thanks, Sally
Sally -
Thank you for an interesting topic.
I get compliments from my wife at times on outfits I wear when I dress in her presence. She also compliments me on earrings I wear in either femme or drab mode, the same with nails. We go for mani-pedi's every couple months and we help each other pick out our colors (toes only for me). We've been shopping and she had helped pick out things for Suzanne.
I have been complimented by my therapist on outfits I've worn for sessions (doesn't happen often and hasn't for some time) as well as on earrings I wear and my nails. When I get a new color on my toes I make it a point o show them to her.
I have been complimented by others on earrings I've worn while in drab. I had one lady compliment me on my manicure and said she wishes her husband would get one - she doesn't know I crossdress but I still took the compliment as my femme self.
It is fun to be complimented as it affirming even if the other person doesn't know you're a crossdresser.
XOXO
Suzanne
I have a weekly girls night with my wife and her BFF and they can’t wait to hear my heels clicking to see what I’m wearing that night. They always have such nice things to say and it feels so good. It's so nice to have someone that is supportive and I love them both dearly for it.
My wife will often say, oh I have this lipstick or balm which doesn't suit me, may suit you, would you like it. That just squeezes my heart everytime. Another is, I think you could get away with wearing this tinted balm every day. Small things but huge to me.
When I came out to my cousin a couple years ago she was very curious and supportive, and we had some long, deep conversations over the two days she was staying with us, (she was visiting from out of state.) The morning she said she usually carriesan extra, new tube of lipstick as a back up and she wanted to give it to me as a tooken of suppprt, but, alas, she did not have it. Still, the gesture was so sweet and it made me feel so happy and loved. I did go out and buy a tube of her lipstick, "Cherries in the Snow), and sent her a picture of me wearing it after she got home. I did drive her to the airport fully en femme, which was wonderful.
When I was starting to get out and told friends some would accompany me on trips out. It often niggled me if they were doing it to be kind as I had a feeling that I didn't look right and they were just being kind. On one occasion while having a chat over coffee in a cafe I bought the subject up and asked if they were okay with me. The answer was so uplifting, 'Angela, If you didn't look as good as you do I wouldn't be here'.....
There have been complemented on things I have been wearing and appearance which makes me feel so accepted and authentic.
Whether it is being supportive to an obvious crossdresser or seeing you as a woman it is always nice to be complimented.
Sally, I am a late blooming crossdresser with a semi accepting wife that I love dearly. She was not very happy when I told her that I enjoyed crossdressing. Over time we can discuss me being Staci, but she would rather not see her.
In spite of this, wifey does buy me gals sandals on occasion (she a shoe gal) and we get pedicures together. She also makes suggestions on what / how to wear feminine items.
I dearly love her for her acceptance, and DO understand that having a crossdressing husband is very difficult for her.
But she tries, and that is so very much welcome.
From one CA gal to another, Happy Thanksgiving. Staci...
Hi Sally,
Good topic. Like Staci, my SO is supportive but would rather not see Robyn in person. But recently she left for a few days visiting family, knowing full well that she would be barely down the road before I was getting out my makeup. What I quickly discovered were little sticky notes on every mirror (and appliance) with messages of support and encouragement. It meant so very much to me and so many levels.
Robyn
Unfortunately only one knows and not a supporter at all but if was I would really like to hear how complements with no negativity
Hi girls,
Hmmmm, my story is a bit different as I get many compliments on my hair, makeup, my shoes, what I'm wearing, my earrings, my nails, my perfume, but I'm a full time girl and only a few of the people saying supportive things are aware that I'm an intersex female.
It is definitely a massive confidence builder and always so wonderful to hear!
Hugs, Ms. Lauren M
Like Angela, I am lucky enough to have been complimented on my looks or attire a lot. It feels wonderful getting that feedback from my trans sisters but when you have friends, acquaintances and members of the general public compliment you, that is extra special indeed. These compliments are their way of letting you know that your efforts to emulate a woman are working, are headed in the right direction. It feels so affirming to receive a sincere compliment.
I cherish the small compliments and smiles I get from random strangers when I'm out dressed.
And the disapproving looks from my wife reminding me that she sees, she knows, she's indifferent. At least I know Lea is real 🙂
In my case I have a boyfriend who is amazingly accepting, supportive and encouraging. I told him about my dressing when we started dating and told him I wear lingerie to bed when I was ready to sleep with him, and he was immediately supportive in both cases (especially when he heard I wear lingerie to bed hehe 😉 ) He tells me constantly how much he loves me and I should always feel free to express myself however I want to. He also tells me that I look beautiful and gorgeous in the lingerie I wear to bed and he buys me romantic lingerie every once in a while which I love. He's an incredible guy and we have a great loving relationship.