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Blackhats and Blackmail

13 Posts
10 Users
30 Reactions
204 Views
Posts: 814
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

Ever been subjected to ridicule or, even worse, blackmail attempts because of your freedoms or trusts in your CD encounters?

I toss the ball up for you…

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12 Replies
7 Replies
Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 7 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 485

@valentina16 No never.

Now it wouldn't work. Wife is fully aware and though I don't tell anyone else if someone did then Oh Well. It is what it is. I'm too old to be worrying about those things anymore.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1841

@valentina16 Nothing to do with me being a CD, but there is someone who seems fixated on my wife and I and has sent some pretty nasty stuff to us.

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@annaredhead Sorry to hear this. 😔

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 Hi Rayna. If you want to share your story, perhaps here as well? 💚

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Duchess
(@katie71)
Joined: 5 years ago

Honorable Member     Livermore, California, United States of America
Posts: 562

@valentina16 Hello there. Valentina asked me to share here after I had revealed this in a poll titled "Secret Outing".

So, in late 2019, I was exploring the CD world. Learning about it, about myself, about others... but I was not out, to anyone in my regular life.

Side note, I was also a perdon that had a basic social media footprint, and I had left my Facebook account as public, because I didn't care who could see who my "friends" were.

I was on Tumblr a lot. Reading, chatting, and sharing my thoughts with others.

I was contacted by another closeted CD. We chatted over the next 2 weeks. Shared a few pics of what we liked/disliked. Then started sharing our own pics. 

They asked me for a face pic. At first I refused. but toward the end of the 2nd week, I finally agreed. I shared a pic of me in my lingerie, face included....

It was only a few minutes later that I started receiving screenshot after screenshot of the list of all my Facebook friends. I was confused... A pic of my FB account homepage came up.

"This is you. These are your friends and family. You will send me $6500 or I will send every one of your pics to all of these people."

I called the police. Met with a police officer. He told me that there is nothing that they could do. These people are always outside the US and request payment in a method that's untraceable. He did tell me one thing that was helpful, sorta. The pics are the leverage...they don't WANT to release them, that would get rid of the only tool they have.

So, I posted on my FB page that I had been compromised. That if anyone received any messages frm an unknown account with pics, firstly-I apologize for the inconvenience. Second, please let me know the name of the account in an effort to help the police locate the perp. 

Followng that I messaged the blackmailer 1 last time, "I have told everyone, I have let them know you have pics of me. I have sat down iwth the police. If you feel that you still need to replease those pics, fine. I am not paying you anything."

The next thing that I did was sat down with my wife and told her about the whole thing. 

It wasn't sexual, it wasn't tawdry, it was just trying to connect. 

At first she got protective, very protective. Then she replied with "wear what you want to wear..public or private. If friends and family don't like it, they can go F themselves."

A few days later, she started to withdraw. She felt that I had been hiding and witholding from her. She wasn't exactly wrong. I just wasn't ready to come out at that time.

It took a few weeks and several tough conversations going into depth on my feelings about dressing for her to relax and start acting more normal.

Be careful who you talk to. I know how desperately we all want to feel a sense of community. It's easy to feel alone, isolated. Anyone offering to be an ally can appear like a life preserver to a drowning person. Don't let yourself be fooled. Be skeptical girls.

Use a respectable site like this to find the sense of community we all need and want. 

Don't make the mistake that I did. 

Use caution, but try to have fun out there ladies.

XOXO

Rayna

 

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(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 814

@katie71 thank you for sharing this again Rayna. I couldn’t find a reaction icon which could express my sadness.

I hope as a survivor you can move on in your life, it seems you are. And, brave that you are, you do the one common thing all survivors do - try to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else, by outing such blackhats and blackmailers. x

A salutary insight ladies. Be careful. The latest internet software can recognise the hairs in your nose these days. 😞

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Lady
(@stephanieann)
Joined: 2 months ago

Prominent Member     Northern California, California, United States of America
Posts: 531

@katie71 

 🍒🍒 Rayna ,  

 I'm so so sorry that happen to you , You experience that,  bad thing happen to good, kind, caring, loving,  nice people !!!! Sad 

Thanks so much for Sharing the Story,  it benefits us all to read it and be careful,  could happen to any one of us,  vey very smart how you handle it,  up front,  ahead of it is always best in cases like this , very smart !!!

Thanks 

Huggs 💓

Stephanie 👠

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Posts: 1079
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@valentina16 I have yet to have a negative encounter while dolled up, but some girls I know personally have. It breaks my heart and always makes me wish I'd been there at the time.

It's one reason that I'm always trying to preach self confidence - taking the control over your confidence and keeping it out of reach of strangers. If you own something, no one can ever use it against you.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Nope, never. Nobody could bla kmail me because I really don't care if word got out that I like to dress. While I do not advertise my hobby, I go out in public dressed, so there is always a chance somebody might recognize me. It it were that critical to not be outed, I would stay indoors. 

I have never done anything I could be blackmailed, so it is the least of my worries. As for blackmailing because of my dressing, the worse that could happen is a bit of embarassment amoung my family and friends. I honestly doubt any of them would care, and if they did, it is their problem, not mine.

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

In the past I have had a few encounters but such was my confidence they were dealt with quickly and quietly. If some one wants to blackmail me then I would have no qualms in going to the Police and front them up. There are so few that do not know now it wouldn't matter if they found out as I can deal with it

Perhaps I am in a good place but can appreciate the harm it could cause for others and hope something so nasty never happens.

Whilst we all need reminding of the pitfalls of being found out with blackmail at the very extreme, there are many many very enlightening and positive experiences here that aren't scary at all.

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Posts: 1172
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

Must say never been blackmailed but only one knows would be an awful thing to have to deal with indeed tho sorry for the ladys that unfortunately went threw with similar circumstances terrible 😞 to hear 

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Posts: 1341
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Blackmail! Even if someone could find something to blackmail me with (can't imagine what that might be), I don't know what they might gain, I have nothing to give them. There are upsides to having nothing, there is nothing to steal.

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