Body Envy/ Dysphoria...help

I just think about what I will have to go through to see me in a body I can live with. I know I wont be a super model but I ask myself, am I willing to make the best effort I can. I try to be positive and then you have to just do it. Its going to be a lot hard work with good and bad days. But you can do it!

Hi Danielle

First of all - You are happy in your male body and have a wonderful fiancé.

Second - you look wonderful when en femme. I think I look better dressed en femme than I do in my drab, makeupless, hairless life, but know that it is a temporary escape.

You can have both, it is just a matter of getting the balance right.

Love yourself as you are, a wonderful, smart, gorgeous person.

‘If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself’

Most of us would love to be taller/shorter/thinner/ have hair/smaller shoulders/bigger muscles/smaller noses etc etc. Luckily women’s fashions/make up can deal with a lot of these perceived ‘imperfections’. Heels to make us taller, control underwear, make up to enhance attributes/disguise blemishes. I am sure there are fashion tips out there to ‘hide’ your perceived big shoulders. I will try your contouring tips to try to disguise my big’man’ nose.

Look at female TV presenters who were swimmers with substantial shoulders, eg Sharron Davies, Rebecca Adlington, big shoulders and still look gorgeous.

love

Bianca

Bianca,

thank you you so much, it’s been a tough day. I’ve literally screenshotted your post so I can have it to hand 🙂

thanks

Dani

Thank you Jasmine,

this sucks, I hope both you and I can both find peace!!!

Hugs

Dani

hi Danielle - oh dear, I know how you feel. But then again, I think that all OGs do too. If I am choosing to explore and embrace my femme side - then I must try to embrace all parts of being a woman, not just the fun parts (you know like wearing lipstick and how wonderful a bra feels - sigh...)
All women are taught to compare and compete with other gals (the patriarchy has done this to them/us) and it is so wrong. We all - original girls and us girls here - need to learn to accept (and appreciate) ourselves.
I know that I will never look like a 20-ish knockout, but that is okay. I am a pretty 50+ woman.
by the way, have you looked at Femme Secrets ( https://feminizationsecrets.com/ ) there are a lot of great tips there, a LOT.
it is a journey, honey - and we are here with you.

Danielle.......hello again. I am sorry you are suffering from body envy. The bad news is...it cannot be cured. I fully understand your desires....I have that same issue. We were born male and have been male for many years. If you are still young...you can transgender but there is always a part you cannot change.  That is your skeletal structure. Your shoulders will always be wide....other places, cosmetic surgery can help. A lot of Hollywood people don't accept the fact......aging brings on changes no matter what. Sadly I was born a girl.........I can wear the clothes, put on the make-up  but changing bone stucture to aid skin sculpting is nigh on impossible and extremely costly. That said......do try to be feminine do as much as you can but be aware of the limitations.Try to accept that you can only due as much as you can. Thank God he made us so the vast majority can become lady like but the older you get the tougher it is. Danielle......I pray and wish for you that you can avail yourself of all that is available to help you aquire your dreams.  Worrying about someone elses looks won't help.........as Mr. Myagi said in karate kid..........there will always be somebody better.

If you'd like to talk, let me know....maybe I can help you with your worries.

HUGS!!!!

Dame Veronica

Hi Danielle.........sorry...typing error in my message....I was born a male not a girl. LOL.

Dame Veronica

Hi Danielle,

I agree with what Bianca has said, the important thing is to love and accept the whole person your are, good and not so good.  I have found I have 'grown into' my feminine self, and as such managed to either conceal or live with the not so good bits. I also feel much better about myself now than I did before joining CDH.  You also have to remember that most women are not super models, many can't wear certain clothes, if a woman's legs are less than perfect she will wear longer dresses, or skinny jeans to hide them, that doesn't mean she will look dowdy on not sexy, it just means she has, like all of us, to work with what she has.

Don't beat yourself up over this, as I said you are what you are, from your photos, you make an attractive woman, so love the whole person you are and try not to upset yourself  about the person you are not.

Andrea

I too suffer from this! I would love to have the female body that I find attractive. I can hide my boys and fake boobs, but I can't hide broad shoulders or my male voice. It's hard to be happy when I look like this, but hey, it's as close as I will get...for now!

I just want to say thank you ladies for your encouragement and kind words, it really helped. Yesterday was a tough day, hopefully today will be better balanced.

Hugs

Dani

The mind is a powerful thing. It also likes to focus on the negative; this is a chemical and neurological reality. It's up to me/us to take charge.

The body doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. If I imagine a stick is a snake, my body reacts to it as a snake until I see that it is a stick. Inversely, if my thought around something is causing me to feel unpleasant, I can change my thoughts. I can change my reality.

When I'm out in drab but feeling femme, I have the opportunity to change my thoughts and Imagine the breasts, imagine smooth, silky legs under a beautiful skirt, imagine the lacy underthings that caresse me, imagine the heels lifting me up, imagine the hair brushing my face and shoulders. It is not hard to imagine because I've had the experience at home.

My body, heart, and soul will feel the joy and freedom of my true nature in that imaginary world as I create it.

Or I can focus on it's absence and lack.

Feel free to contact me (anyone!) if you want to talk more about this.

Lorie

PS I agree with others here that we all have what we have, and that imperfection is our perfection.