Brain "switch"

I can relate, Regine!  When I'm here, I'm totally Tara in my brain, even if I'm not dressed in real life.  It's MUCH more fulfilling when completely dressed though.  Mind, Body and Spirit at that point.  Even if I just put on my bra and forms, the transformation is SO much more complete!

*kisses* tara 🙂

That's funny. I have had the same thoughts as you for a while now. It seems as though I don't  have to think at all about the switch. It happens on its own. Everything changes. My thoughts mannerisms  walk talk..... you get the idea. Thanks for sharing.

Regine,

I came to CDH in a perfunctory way today, as I have the last few, just to check messages. Then I saw one of my fave friends here ( 😀) posted this thread so I had to read.

SO insightful and probably more true than most realize. Right now, if you put a full beautiful feminine outfit in front of me to wear, I wouldn’t put it on. I’m just in guy mode right now. Not even tempted. It’s why I refer to myself as “dual-natured” rather than “transgender.” (Of course, these terms like TG and cross dresser seem very fluid and subjectively defined by the eye of the beholder anyway, so I’m not sure they have any fixed meaning).

It’s not so much a bipolar or a split personality issue; it’s just having a fuller realization and understanding of both my masculine and feminine natures. I like BOTH of them. What I don’t like is feeling one way but not being able to express it outwardly. I think that’s where the frustration comes in the issue of clothing.

And isn’t the clothing an utterly fascinating thing? “Clothes make the man.” We behave differently even within the full (albeit limited) panoply of male clothing. I behave differently wearing a suit and tie than I do sweats and t shirts. Differently when wearing flannel and jeans than a tuxedo. Differently wearing a button down shirt and khakis than a polo shirt and shorts.

More to the extreme, See any red blooded, masculine, non CDing man put even one feminine article of clothing on and watch him immediately take on some feminine mannerism and characteristic — probably in a grossly exaggerated way lest someone suspect it comes naturally to him! 😂 But the clothes, in a way, give him “permission” to act or talk with some feminine characteristic that he otherwise never displays. (And also watch the smile that comes to his face as he enjoys this temporary “freedom”). Similarly, See any red blooded, feminine, non CDing woman put on a sports jersey and some jeans and watch her try to fit in as one of the guys. And watch her enjoy being temporarily free of the boundaries of femininity (which, candidly, women get to naturally experience far more than men anyway in clothing, actions, behavior, etc).

I suspect some CDing men like me, who have a heightened awareness of the inner “other” (feminine) side (which, btw, I think we all have characteristics of both, but some have a greater connection to those things — hence, our presence here! Lol) can mistake our connection to our femme selves as compelling a need to transition. This is especially true when we are in the throes of wanting to express that femme side, and, if we get to do it a lot, we tend to fully dive in to make up for lost time. This is why we should never be flippant about the issue of transitioning. I think this desire can tempt people to think that way who probably otherwise shouldn’t be considering it. For some, the femme is so strong they can’t live with themselves and I think need to do it if they can. But I know for me, when I’m in full on Steph mode, I often start dreaming of being Steph all the time with all the attendant “parts,” and it can be very intoxicating.

Then I get to times like this where my masculine side is in the fore, and I can barely even understand why people would ever want to do that. That’s been my experience, and I suspect I’m not alone...

God bless,

Steph

Your objection is noted for the record.

As I said, those have been my observations and experiences. I could sit here and type them all out but I have neither the time nor the inclination. We all have our subjective takes on things. You have yours. And so the earth goes around.

Regi.

One of the main reasons I Iove cdh...

whether it's loving, living, laughing or crying.... it's just us girls, and it's always been just us girls.

I for one, have never thought of cdh as anything else....

girls only thank you !!!!

Grace xx

Do I have a switch. When I dress, the switch flips to female. When I am not dressed, it does not flip to male. It doesn't even go in the middle. It does move a little towards the middle, but it is still on the female side. I am not sure the male side ever worked. Probably a blown fuse on that side.

Eva

Eva.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!!...❤️

I don't think that's true of me. I feel far more of a fluid boundary between sides, if there are sides. There are days when I'll be in make mode more or less, but walk like Bridgette, and notice I've been doing it without thinking. There are days when I'm dressed in a very androgynous fashion, and my behavior is somewhere in between. Sometimes I'm dressed fully as Bridgette, and have difficulty fully connecting on that side, and miss marks i normally hit, as it were. It's hard to describe intelligently.

Of course I'm in a bit of a mood to start with, and that affects being able to properly express feelings at times.

Bridgette

Hi Regine good question my brain is always in female mode, and I love it I feel more relaxed about life. Its helped me being relaxed to gain more friends and acqaintancies.

Love Sarah xx

Very interesting, Steph, and you pose something more for me to ruminate upon, lol
I read my post to my wife, and asked her opinion, per your question.
She agrees, I do tend to merge over, and perhaps blend would be a better explanation.
She does love both sides of me, and prefers the more gentle soul of Regi, however, when she needs "him", she is very glad I can put him forward
Hugs, Regi👩💕

I have heard many people on here and other places talk about such a switch and having a male and female persona. Over the past 2 years I have given a lot of thought to the question of do I have this duality? and I have assumed that I should. However, as I come to know myself better I have concluded that I only have the one persona, nothing flips when I dress, I don't suddenly become girly, nothing really changes.

What I have noticed is that I have a lot of feminine traits that I have spent a lifetime suppressing. I notice them now and have to make an effort to allow them out while resisting the drive to suppress them.

I feel as if I am simultaneously both male and female. How I present depends on how I feel and my circumstances.

🎀 I’ve thought a lot about this.. even talked with a friend ( a gg) who is a counselor 🦋🌺.. for me, it seems to be what she calls fragmentation..,fragmentation is similar to multiple personalities, but not the clinical type that we see in tv shows and movies..

💕🧚‍♀️ it’s different in that there is an awareness of the other “ side” or the other part of a person and the ability to be able to bring one out over the other and vise versa.. 👗🧚‍♀️ At ones choosing and you remember it ( clinical type does not even know or aware that they were different for a period of time)

I had a somewhat traumatic event I’ve mentioned before , when my dad found me wearing a hair bow around age 10 or so.. he yanked it out taking hair with it... and also verbally attacked me..😢

that’s when the fragmentation began.. in my personality... I learned quickly and sadly at that moment that I felt I had to hide my inner girl and bring the guy mode out more.. or suffer more abuse...

🦋 And please note that my friend is adamant that this is not a disorder!! But a coping mechanism... It’s just me, always has been always will be... there’s no medical issue, no brain malfunction, it’s just that I felt I had to hide , for so long.. due to what happened.. so now , I feel I can be me, out in the open.. 🌼💖🎀 the real part of me that is always there like a best friend..🎀🎀🎀

Here Here Grace perfectly said just us girls ..

Stephanie

Ohh, Effie...

I felt a sudden shaft of sadness rip through me when I read about the abuse! While I never suffered the same I still have felt a necessity to apologise for my male gender nearly all my life!

Sorry... Polly 💋💋💋