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This past weekend, wifey left me at home to go gamble with her gal pals. Rather than stay home alone, I opted to take a “road trip” of my own, and bring Staci along. It was a beautiful fall weekend and I opted to head north along US395 towards the Owens / Panamint / Death Valley areas, with no particular destination in mind, maybe car camp or stay at a cozy hotel.
Since I was gonna be on the road travelling and maybe camping, I decided to dress in a “soccer mom” style, kind of an androgynous style, and forgo a dress. I put on my medium blue GV Amanda jeans, a blue printed flowy top, flat strappy thong sandals, light lipstick, clear coat finger nails with painted toenails, and my longer hair – past the collar.
I don’t pass well, and was not really trying to look like a female, I was just enjoying that fact that I was out and about in comfy, fun gals clothes. But I thought that I looked “OK.”
As I travelled, I stopped and got gas, took in some scenic views and side trips all with strangers present. All was well with eye contact, smiles and friendly hellos.
I stopped at a Subway Sandwich joint and got one to go, then off to a Chevron station to top off the tank before heading out into the remote desert.
When I attempted to use my credit card, I got a “See The Clerk” message. I really do pay my bills, so was confused as to why the card was denied. So, I went inside. Behind the register was a middle age lady. She looked at me and without hesitation smiled and said, Welcome, can I help you Mam?
Mam?? Was she talking to me? I was somewhat pleasantly taken aback by her greeting, but then quickly realized how I was dressed, as Staci. That had never happened before, and as mentioned above, I don’t pass that well, but at least at that moment beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I was seen as female. Cool.
I told the cashier that the pump told me to come and see her, and that I am not certain if the issue is with my card or the pump reader. She said, I don’t know Mam, the problem is probably on my end, we have been having “issues.” Mam; there it was again.
I gave her my card and she asked, how much do you want on the card, Mam? I told her, and she smiled and handed me a receipt and said, Thank you Mam, come back and see us again.
I left, pumped my fuel and went on my way, with a smile and on cloud nine.
I had never been called “Mam” before, and I rather liked it. And I was not all glammed up and pretty, just looking average, or so I thought. All this happened so quickly it took me some time to digest it all as I drove down the road.
I have yet to tell wifey about the experience, will be interesting to see how she reacts. She will probably laugh and roll her eyes.
I hope you gals here at CDH don’t mind my “shaggy dog story” but I had to let someone know, and at the same time brush up on my creative (maybe non) writing skills.
As for the rest of the trip, I did stay in Staci mode until I got home, and had other pleasant encounters with folks, but none referred to me as female – or male for that matter – and that’s OK. I had an enjoyable weekend.
Take care and have fun crossdressing….. Staci…
Hi, Staci, thanks for posting this lovely account of your experience. Attitudes towards girls like us are definitely improving. Still a way to go but, generally, people are far more accepting of "difference" now than at any time I can remember.
I hope it's not long before someone is perceptive enough to address you as "Mam", or in the UK,"Ma'am" again.
Allie x
@sf Staci, what a great adventure. The first time I was called mam (whilst in drab)….must have been my hair cut - an air steward approached me from behind and ask “Mam, would you like anything to drink”. I was really chuffed and felt a bit sorry for her when she realised her ‘mistake’ and started apologising. I wanted to tell her that it was not a mistake and that I really liked it, but I just reassured her it was ok.
It is really amazing when it happens…
Hugs Christine
@sf Sounds like a lovely trip Staci. It's sometimes the little things that make a difference. How lovely for you xx.
@sf Saci,
Very uplifting story actually. For me, unlifting and "enheartening" to share in your experience. It helps me understand how I would feel if/when it will happen to me!
Dani
@sf There really is nothing more affirming than when someone treats you like the person you really are. Such people really do brighten up the day and make you feel that things aren't so bad and that you're not such an outcast after all. So... thanks to anyone who takes the time to make us feel welcome.
Ma'am thank you for sharing your not so shaggy dog storey. The Pink Fog has far reaching effects. Even on the people around us!
Just the facts Ma'am!
Fran 🥰
@sf This is interesting Staci. I’m unfamiliar with “shaggy” stories…is this where one is crossdressed but in an informal way?
Couple of thoughts…you are in California. Many businesses there do have strict policies of addressing people as to how they present. Employees have to pay attention and if they get it wrong and the person makes an issue out of it, it can be trouble for the employee…(I know this firsthand as I lived there all my life until retirement). It doesn’t sound like this is that situation though.
The other thought is you were called “Ma’am” and liked it. Now that I’m social security eligible myself I’ve noticed that at this age men and women do start blending together as far as how they look and dress. I gotta be careful not to call some women “sir”. It’s legitimately challenging with some people nowadays. We should all be forgiving if somebody makes an honest mistake in addressing us. If I’m all dolled up, since I have no intention of trying to act effeminate or disguise my voice, I’m good either way with “Ma’am” or “Sir”. It’s nothing personal and people usually try to do their best.
That said, back in my heyday in the ‘80’s a friend of mine and I were riding to a sales meeting in SF. He was driving and we get pulled over for speeding. My idiot friend who was driving got out and is standing with the cop on the sidewalk behind our vehicle. I’m on the passenger side, window rolled down listening to them. My friend had no drivers license on him. So, he was no longer going to be driving. I hear the cop ask him: “What about her? Does she have a valid license ?”
At that moment I laughed quietly and thought, man, I really need a haircut!
GP
@sf Great story! If i drive en-femme, I always make sure I put fuel in the car first.
Anna xx
I love reassuring stories like this one, Staci, and I know other members here do, too.
The only time that I had a similar situation the clerk called me "sweety". Not quite the same thing as "mamme", though.
Sure it is !!!! Thanks for the comment....
Well how about that for a confidence boost! I have found that most women are accepting and supportive of us gurls.
Staci -
Thank you for sharing your lovely experience. It sounds like you had a wonderful trip and your encounter was just icing on the cake. Hoping you have more adventures like that in the future.
XOXO
Suzanne
Staci, that is such a cute story. My first time being addressed as a woman I was at a restaurant bar in Palm Springs waiting for a CD friend when a cute guy walked up to me and asked "Can i buy the lady a drink." I politely in my best girl voice thanked him but declined. My friend arrived and we said good bye. I was floating on air the rest of the night. I don't know what I would have done if I were alone. Oh, who as I kidding. I would have said yes.
Shaggy stories are always welcome as they are an encouragement to others.
What you display is a confidence and an understanding of how you believe you appear and not offended if it goes either way. For those you interact with it's a 'say as you see' and it would appear there were more Ma'ams than mans so you are looking good and shows how nice people are in reality.
I've been maam'd a couple times while dressed. Nothing makes for a better day.
My wife and I were browsing in the women's section at Dillards yesterday. A sales associate walked by and asked, "Are you ladies finding everything?" I was in drab. I'm sure she realized her mistake and quickly walked on, embarrassed, but it still made me feel good.
Feels good to be addressed as a woman, doesn't it?
Fiona, Yes it does.... Thanks, Staci...
Hi Staci,
What a day brightener
Alice
Hi Staci,
Glad you had a great trip and thank you for sharing such an encouraging story. After I read it, it made my day so much better!!
Hugs,
Jennifer
Its such a wonderful rush when someone accepsts you as you are wanting to be seen and acknowledges you in that manner. I recall my first maam and it is one of the pleasurable parts of adventuring out as Gail. So glad you got to experience that Staci, you go gal
