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Crossdressing is not a secret between my wife and me. She knows about Elaine and has seen me dressed many times. However, I know she doesn't like it, so as to avoid awkward moments I normally don't dress when she is in the house. Today she was going out to run errands, shop. lunch with a friend, and other things so I was to be home alone for 5-6 hours. YAY for Elaine!!! As she left I said 'be sure to text me when headed home', my way of telling her I plan to dress but will undo before your return. So I dressed casually in blue jean skirt, some jewelry, wig and bra and inserts, then went about putting on makeup. In just a few minutes she was back, had forgot something. So I am busted again (it's happened before). Awkward!!! But turned out good. Since she now knows I am en femme I get to spend all day dressed, instead of a couple hours.
@elguapo seems like you have given her fair notice. Surprised visits shouldn’t leave her too surprised.
@elguapo I gotta jump in here Elaine, you forgot the first rule with wives. When they leave the house, you always wait by the door or the kitchen, wherever. Because they WILL be back within minutes every time. Especially if you’re heading for the closet and some girly time.
That said, you had 5 or 6 hours. Isn’t it incredible how fast that time goes by? I had the same exact thing yesterday. PLENTY of time I thought. Sure enough though, my appointment time approached too fast and I didn’t have the time for what I thought I would. I had to take the decorations down sooner that I wanted to, scrambling to wipe off all traces of evidence.
As Becca says, “It gets less awkward the more times you get caught.” I think many of us subconsciously are trying to get busted in these situations. So you gotta be able to handle some awkwardness at times. I was in the bathroom when my wife arrived home. “Grace stayed a long time today I see!” I replied: “You know that chick hangs around until I have to kick her out!” Humor usually works for me to diffuse the awkwardness. Keep on laughing I say…
GP
@gracepal you are right - frequently forgets things so has to return. Maybe I wanted to get busted.
@erinb Well, look at it positively. We hate getting busted because we love our spouses and their opinions matter to us. It’s good practice! Then when or if we ever go out in public and inevitably get that “less than positive” reaction, it will be easy to think, “Who cares, I don’t know you”.🥰
@elguapo I have that same situation where I don't dress in front of my wife even though she knows. It is definitely awkward knowing she doesn't like it, so better not to cause a problem. She can also be a bit snarky and I'd rather not hear any comments when I'm dressed and feeling a bit sensitive.
@elguapo lovely that you got lots of Elaine time 😘😘😘”Let’s put a cheeky spin on this story , what if wife deliberately “forgets “ because despite what she says she also is kinda curious and can’t resist a sneaky look at Elaine en femenne hmmmmmm …..🤷♀️♥️💕
@elguapo Oh how I wish my SO and I were at least that far along. I'm getting so worn out from all of the extra effort it takes in a DADT house.
@robertaf being the CD world traveler that you are DADT must be a challenge.
@elguapo One thing I learned to do is give myself a good 30 minutes to an hour after she left before putting anything on. I have to be extra cautious because she doesn't know.
A few minutes? Hell, girl, you get dressed quickly! 😀
I should think it gets less and less awkward as the number of times you get 'caught' increases. 
Good on you,
Becca
Hi Elaine, I don’t think it is getting caught in your case as opposed to a lack of direct communication that, says by the way, let me know when you are on your way back so I can change clothes.
I also wanted to say that I hope I didn’t cause any problems with your wife when we met, now that I know that she doesn’t want to see you dressed. I apologize if I did.
No need to apologize. It's a struggle for her.
Elaine -
Been there done that.
It used to be that my wife would give me alone time and call before coming home to allow Suzanne time to leave. Now I am able to dress a bit more freely. I spend a couple hours in the morning dressed sans make up and wig, being able to wear panties, bra and dress or skirt/blouse is enough along with spending time here. There are days that she will invite Suzanne to spend the day, not very often but at times. Actually we bought dresses for each other so we can have a girls day Christmas at home together and just bought cute little earrings to go with the outfits yesterday.
As I said there was a time that she would give me alone time but over the years she has become more accepting of my dressing so I don't need to be as careful, just respectful. One of the things that helped was communication. I usually let her bring up my dressing and we work out compromises. Good luck as you continue your journey.
XOXO
Suzanne
My wifey is similar. She knows that I crossdress, and doesn’t really like it, but she has seen Staci on occasion. I don’t like getting caught, do not want to upset her, but I am thankful for her knowing and reluctant acceptance of Staci.
A dilemma shared by many of us.
Staci
Hi Elaine - I know what you mean! Even tho my wife is fully aware and supportive, it's still an awkward jolt when I am "caught" unaware. Se has seen me many times especially when I am taking photos around the house or going out myself en femme. However, when I dress up spontaneously when she is out and comes home before I expect her I always feel like I am doing something horribly wrong - even tho I am not and have no secrets to keep - almost instinctive! It passes quickly, but the feeling is always there in those surprise instances.
I find I also still hide some of the things I might be looking at online- particularly lingerie, more risque/revealing items, breast forms and the like. Weird and unsettling at times!
Kris
It can be awkward at times, I openly dress when she’s home. For example we had a telehealth appt together later in the day last week and I was dressed head to toe in the am. I decided screw it , I’m not changing all the way to drab for this! So when the appt time came I went into her office with an athletic hoodie up top (waist cincher and padded cami underneath-pulled my forms out)and a hip/booty padded bottom with a pair of Spanx Moto leggings and uggs on. She didn’t notice when a sat next to her and after the appt , she looks me up and down , turns and says, “what the hell do you call that”. I said , nerdy athletic top with a Kim K bottom , smiling. We both busted out laughing. I then went back to full girl mode.
it can be awkward at times but we both always find some humor in it.
My wife knew i dressed, she hated it. The smell of my body wash, my clothes in the closet. All of it she hated.
We are now in the last throws of a divorce . I'm so happy she left. I dress almost every day now. Going out more and more.
I am happily married yet somehow envy you
Been there unfortunately and hated it. It came to the point that it just wasn't worth dressing knowing the unpredictability of my wife appearing and the subsequent aftermath. Now since retiring and having earnest discussions I only dress when she is around which is wonderful. My wife will now ask where Katie is if it's been a few days since she has seen her.
