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CD vs TG

58 Posts
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Posts: 265
Lady
Topic starter
(@altrealtraveller)
Reputable Member     Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

All,

Need some advice from all of you.  I'm on You Tube, and I recently viewed a video from a trans woman who stated that she hated all cross dressers and that they all are perverts and shouldn't be considered part of the Transgender spectrum.   I replied to her that I found that while some cross dressers  can be offensive and annoying, most CDs that I know are decent honest people who just want to explore their feminine side.     There were a few like responses, but most of the responses were agreeing that cross dressers are a group to be shunned and excluded.  I even talked with several trans friends of mine and they both said the same thing (being careful to exclude me from that grouping!).

What do you all think?   Do Trans Women really hate us Cross dressers so much?

Thanks for listening!

Leah

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57 Replies
Posts: 1264
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Leah

Hatred is just such a negative trait. You would think members of the transgender community would be aware of how damaging negative comments can be to others.

We should all just live and let live, as long as we are doing others no harm. Who are they to criticise what others wear, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or simply what we love to wear.

Sounds like these people think it should be all or nothing, black and white, man or woman, choose but don’t pussyfoot about. No No No.

We are all on our own beautiful spectrum, somewhere, but we should all be happy where we are. Think this is why the rainbow flag is so appropriate to represent the LGBT( and whatever other letters people want to use) community.

You are right ! Don’t let the haters of this world get to you.

love

B

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I don't know why either group would shun the other.  They are in different places as far as what they want to do as far as dressing

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Posts: 148
Lady
(@rachelann)
Estimable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I am of the belief that people are entitled to have their opinions, but I will say that one traditionally ostracized community  throwing hate at another ostracized community is disappointing at best, and counter productive if not hypocritical to a stance that any traditionally marginalized community might have at worst.  Like anything else, I’m sure the people you mentioned that feel that way have had experiences to shape their opinions rather then just lumping all cd’s in some stereotypes

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Leah,

I share the opinion that people in a group which has been discriminated against could have a bit more insight and avoid discriminating against other groups.

But... I can see why it is easy for the TS community to place a lot of the blame for their own issues with acceptance on the CD community. In general they see us as “pretenders” and “wanna-be”s. And I can’t say that they are totally wrong on that.

Part of the problem starts on how difficult it can be to determine who is who... is somebody who likes wearing panties for sexual excitement only a CD? Depends on who you ask. Is somebody who fully dresses up as a woman to go out and about and is very successful to do so, but doesn’t even consider any kind of surgery or hormones still “only a crossdresser”? Depends on who you ask again. There are no clear lines.

True, not all of the CDs are pervs... but there are some who really could be classified as such. Are there some in the TS field who are pervs? Yes. I’m sure there are too!

Fact is that if we look at one specific issue, say, bathroom access laws... for most TS folks it was never an issue, assuming that they were already presenting as females with more or less success. But with all the scandals around bathroom usage and having different states regulating something that wasn’t an issue to start with... yeah, it will be easy to assign blame to those who can be easily spotted... those “playing pretend”, etc.

Right or wrong, when we all are bundled together for the public perception, it is easy to blame others.

Anyway, I am rambling and must get back to work...

Gaby 💜

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Posts: 18
Lady
(@lucytaylor)
Eminent Member     Merseyside, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi all,

This makes me sad because hate comes out off misunderstanding or fear. I do not know much about current issues surrounding CD and TG in the US, but I think the ones that hate will try and influence others to think that way and so on. I can say though that I have not heard much about this in the UK. Interesting as it is going backwards if all are tarred with the same brush.

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Posts: 265
Lady
Topic starter
(@altrealtraveller)
Reputable Member     Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Roxanne,

As far as I know, both terms mean the same thing; a person that dresses in clothing usually associated with the opposite gender.  Transvestite has been dropped mostly, in favor of crossdresser.

Also, since it is so much more accepted that women can wear men's clothes, the CD or TV term mostly applies to males dressing as females.

That is my most humble opinion.

Leah

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Posts: 441
Lady
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I definitely operate under the assumption that they hate us, or at least the most vocal ones do. It's a shame as so many of them start here and it continues the reality of so many unlike groups being lumped together. I mean you look at a lot of these communities and what do people really have in common? Our own is no exception. What bothers me about all these labels is how rigid they are and how little true understanding anyone wants to have. They don't like what "mainstream" society has said about them and yet they'll throw the insults at anyone who doesn't conform to their standards. Personally, I am very wary of any kind of identity-driven community and a large part of what I like about *not* being LGBTQ (sure, arguably) is being lumped into a group that realistically would never want me anyway.

Unfortunately, it echoes a lot of the misunderstanding that comes from genetic women as well, "oh, so you just want to have it all?" Perhaps we do want too much, but I don't think we are alone in that.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

It's confusing for most people.

Google Cross dresser and a whole bunch of stuff comes up.

It seems to be getting more positive these days, but most cross dressing sites seem to have a sexual, hook up flavour, which I find rather seedy.

And I have yet to see another CD in public who doesn't go around in a secretive, sneaky sort of way, like they're trying to hide something.

My approach is to behave a bit like it's my world to do what I like in, and to confine my activities to walking, shopping, eating - simple things, which give me great pleasure when dressed!

To me, a CD should be like the ladies on this site. Open, friendly, funny, supportive, kind... you all know how lovely you all are!

TG is very different.

These are people who find they're not the gender they were assigned at birth, and there are plenty here - and absolutely right. We are inclusive people, not exclusive. We even include GGs!

CDs are people who dress as the 'opposite" gender - although these days, science understands gender is a human construct, and fluid, not a binary absolute.

There is some animosity towards CDs because of a lack of understanding - hardly surprising, as we are among the most secretive as we have typically so much to lose through exposure - even though we're not breaking the law, in many countries, or actually doing anything wrong or harmful.

Tags have it really tough too, but I met a lovely TG girl who, when she wasn't being naughty, told me she had the greatest admiration for a cross dresser who got out and mingled.

When people meet us and talk to us and find out that we're not only not monsters, but are actually quite nice, it kinda blows their minds a bit, and they show their appreciation quite openly. This is my experience.

I've met a few TGs now, one a good friend of mine, who transitioned only last year with the full support of his family.

They're lovely people too - maybe we should forget about the vs, and stick with us beautiful people!

Love Laura

 

 

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Posts: 299
Duchess
(@mollyg)
Reputable Member     Alberta, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Leah;

Without seeing the distressing post, I can't comment on the specifics;    I wouldn't be surprised if a fairly large number of the replies to you are from Trolls...    If you've changed just one mind, you've made a difference, and the people who spew hate are not worth another breath.

It doesn't matter who you are and what you say, being at least partly anonymous brings this sort of person out, so: I'd suggest you rely on your direct experiences and don't let it get you down.

I too have met some wonderful TG ladies, and have yet to have a conversation with someone who states that they dislike CDs ... I suspect if I did, she'd dislike a lot of groups, and that's just sad.

Hugs

-Molly

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

This is a controversial topic, in many circles.  Moreover, it has caused unnecessary in fighting in some support groups.

Stereotyping is very dangerous territory, so I avoid it.  We are all unique.

I believe in "Live And Let Live."

Above all, just have fun being a girl.

 

 

 

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Posts: 662
Lady
(@kmsmst)
Honorable Member     South of Omaha, Nebraska, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Got a link to the video? I say we pile up the dislikes on it.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

One of the great things about this site is that it has shades of "trans" from right across the spectrum.  As such the many different voices, stories and experiences should help newcomers to feel welcome (ie. you are not wrong in what you are doing) and help many people find out who they are.  If this site was heavily biased towards one aspect of the community then it may put some people off, or cause a feedback loop in which people try to work towards the "group ideal" rather than be their own individual self.

I can understand why there can be animosity towards CDs from some TG/TSs as they can have a tough time persuading people that they are not just flaunting a sexual fetish in public (along with a lot of other crap thrown at them).  There are many shades of people who bridge the gap between the sexual-CD and the fully transitioned TS and many find their position isn't fixed.   Barriers should not be erected.

It would help if all sides work together in educating the public that we are just people.  Yes, there are always a few bad eggs, but no more than any other section of society.

*hugs* to you all

J.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Leah
I have noted the same thing. Some TGs view CDs as "pretenders", and believe that they alone are the guardians of Gender Purity (or whatever you can label it). IMO, they are no different than racial, ethnic or religious purists. It takes all kinds to make a world.

I will admit that not too long ago, I myself was unaware of the distinction between CD and TG (and thought I was just weird for having these feelings)
Bettylou

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Posts: 441
Lady
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Very well put Bettylou. No one likes a “tourist,” sure, but aren’t we all just trying to be our truest selves and to escape all the trapping which have prevented us thus far?

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