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Today girls I want to ask you about a subject that may be a little simple but it is what I think and observe every day, nowadays natural women seem to care and value less and less about being feminine, in contrast with us crossdresser women who strive to learn to be as feminine as possible, every day natural women care less about looking feminine and rather more practical while we strive to be absolutely feminine, so my question is are crossdresser women more feminine than natural women today? Maybe I am wrong but it is my perception and perhaps you can name exceptions but I spoke of the generality
Hi Alexandra most women can't be bothered to dress nicely it takes time like we all know, also from their perspective when they see the average man more often than not they look like slobs. Only confident professional women will always dress well, they dress to look smart and presentable and exude good feelings.
Sarah xx
Hi, Alexandra.
When we talk about "femininity", we generally seem to be looking at a specific time period (1950's-1970's) and/or specific clothes (skirts and dresses).
The time period is important because many of us, certainly the members active in the forums, were born then and our first remembered interactions with women will see them wearing the fashions of the time, (skirts and dresses). This formative time sets a particular look as the epitome of femininity...for us. Why? Because when we are young, we see life in a far less nuanced way, there is male and there is female. Or that was the case in my and, I suspect, in many others' around my chronological age of 69.
Today, I'm not so sure that is the case, with many children now being raised by same sex couples. Fast forward 30 years and would this question of femininity even be an issue?
Back to the question though, I see cis women and girls today are just as feminine but their clothing style is different for day to day wear. Emma T @emmat makes a good point when she notes that, given an opportunity to glam up, many cis women take it and enjoy it.
I've said before that men and women both have male and female aspects to their personalities, the difference being only in degrees but how we choose to express these aspects is as individual as we are. There are lots of girls here who choose leggings over skirts and dresses just as there are those of us for whom expressing our femininity just has to be with a skirt or dress.
My wife has, I think, maybe three dresses and as many skirts that she rarely wears, she prefers jeans and leggings and always has in the 50 years that I've known her.
Allie x
@romanticale for us girls we strive for our femininity, we want to do it completely whenever we can. As a result we try to get away from drab as possible.
@romanticale Another thought to add to whats already been said. Im sure as we grew up with stereotypes so did they. meaning I hear all the time girls talking down to another girl thats dressed too sexy in their opinion. or she has so much makeup she looks like a tramp and if she showed any more clevage etc... I think sometimes my wife is afraid to look too sexy it makes her uncomfortable and when she tries she is very awkward. sometimes I think she feels she has to look a certain way but would rather not. I think we all have preferences as human beings and regardless of the chromosomes your born with , your flare for personal expression is what it is. to say it in a smaller comparison. 100 people are born. 50% of them prefer to present one way over another and 50% of them are female but it does not mean its the same 50% If men were not repressed to present masculine and women were not judged for being too feminine Im sure the world would be much more beautiful overall . Thanks for the topic. Cheers RC
@romanticale It is my opinion that too many GG’s take their femininity for granted. They have always had it so it is of less importance to them. Us girls on the other hand, are so drawn to femininity that we take every opportunity and use every bit of skill to enhance our feminine image and persona.
@romanticale Hi Alex, Soft and ordinary is how I like to wear my femininity. My favorite is a snug pair of women's blue jeans with a loose-fitting white blouse and a simple silver necklace. If I could get by with just a little moisturizer and a wisp of lipstick, well that's the stuff of dreams 🙂
@romanticale I don't think they care less about being feminine. I think they care less about all the extras needed to enhance that femininity to put it on display for others. I think they are confident enough in themselves they don't feel it necessary to do all those things for public display.
We on the other hand NEED those things. We need the makeup to cover, conceal and disguise those male traits to let us see the woman inside. We need the enhancers, the shapers and we love the lingerie and hosiery. We wear them when we dress because we don't have the option to wear them all the time. When something is the norm to you you don't use it all the time.
Hi Alexandra,
Is there anything simple in this world? I think 'femininity' is such a broad church that generalities can be true, yet miss the point.
For instance, you don't see so many men nowadays dressed in suits , or even collar and ties. But they will put the effort in, when required (whoops, except me - if there's a male dress code, I'm not there) . The same with women my age and younger, certainly those I know. The majority dress for comfort, and use minimal make up. But a big occasion ? Yep, most are up for it. And I'd imagine one or two of them might begrudge it as an expected chore so they 'conform'.
You could equally argue that FTM CDs are also more attentive to presenting as more 'masculine' than the majority of men bother to do. But that's just me surmising ...
Emma x
very good question Alexandra. The other day I was sitting in the Atrium of a large shopping centre in Southampton (UK) watching the women as they went on their ways. Some to my view looked feminine and some looked yuk but still feminine because that is what they are, even a large rear fat thighs woman in a short dress is feminine by the nature of her birth. We on the other hand have to work at looking and being feminine and in a lot of cases we do it better because we have to.
Since escaping from the closet recently and always wearing at least the minimum of female clothes I have realised to a certain extent it is not what I look like but how I feel, although no way would you get me in a short skirt if I had big thighs, which I don't, but as I am in the early stages of emerging I have a long way to go before I can say I look feminine but oh yes I feel it.
I think a lot of CG women have just lost interest in putting the effort into looking feminine. Whereas we cd's have a bad case of wanting to. We enjoy it so much and jump at the chance to bask in it.
It's something that really frustrates me as I think that I have to be in either a dress or a skirt and top to look feminine, if I went about in just joggers, trousers or shorts even if they were women's then I just wouldn't look or feel much different to an ordinary drab day. As women now tend to dress less femininely I think that being dressed in a dress or skirt you may be more noticeable and therefore a little more obvious which I do tend to find a little more scary and therefore discouraging. Oh for the days of my youth when mums and grans dressed like mums and grans and not like football coaches.
Gina
As women now tend to dress less femininely I think that being dressed in a dress or skirt you may be more noticeable and therefore a little more obvious which I do tend to find a little more scary and therefore discouraging.
I love the feelings from being in a dress or a skirt! So I wear them, despite becoming more noticeable and obvious. I'm completely honest and open when I'm out and about, I even talk quite happily to people, just in a slightly softer voice. If anything I think being obvious sets them at ease, they know much quicker that it's not a cis-woman they're looking at. And it's the women's loss that they're not dressed more feminine themselves!
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona I'm a dress and skirt woman myself Fiona. I have two pairs of pants I bought 2 yrs. ago. One has never been worn and the other has been worn only 2xs, both in winter snow. Even if I wear leggings in winter, I put a skirt over them.
@d44 Oh yes, even when I first ventured out as Fiona in the late Winter/early Spring, I was in a dress. I have only ever thought of leggings as being things to wear for warmth on the legs under a dress or a skirt. I have a few outfits for colder seasons ... so far ... there will be more!
I try to dress as feminine as possible for the situation. It is because I feel the need to overcome my limitations but also because I want to. My biggest regret is that I didn't get to experience growing up as a girl and everything that comes with that. Now, I feel as if I am playing catch up so I want the experience of trying things that are more feminine. It's not that I dress hyperfeminine but rather just decidedly feminine.
I think @randia Randi's point is very true. Men have to work hard to blend in and cover up their "maleness" in order to look as feminine as possible. Plus many trans women are finding themselves being complemented as being nice looking or pretty for the first time in their lives. Most males do not get complimented frequently, if at all, on their looks. I think some girls may be subconsciously dressing nicely in order to keep getting those validating and supportive comments. I'll admit I enjoy getting nice compliments, not only because it feels good, but because it shows my efforts to be feminine are going in the right direction. It can be a lot of work sometimes and comments can be very reassuring.
I'm a full time girl working at a security desk in a government building, and have to wear a uniform with black pants. I inquired as to the type of pants and was told as long as they look good and are black. So I wear yoga pants that are basically leggings that flare at the ankles. These are so comfortable, and so nice looking, that I wear them almost all the time. I'm an intersex female and have naturally wide hips, feminine thighs and cute butt, so the pants show off those features and I get a lot of looks and compliments on my outfits. I wear these pants with very feminine tops and light jackets or sweaters. I am told that I'm a very feminine and classy dresser. So my point to you, my sisters, is that you don't have to wear a skirt or dress, you can look quite feminine wearing a well fitting pair of pants.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Wow this can be a very complicated question.This is my opinion only,I think that we as crossdressers know that we must appear to be feminine that we are driven by ourselves to be the best we can be.In my case ,I dont leave the house without being in full makeup and jewelry{shades of the 60s with June Cleaver and Mary Tyler Moore}.If we look good,we feel good and when we feel good we do well to portray the ladies we are.
I have mixed feelings about this question. There are times when I see women about town and think how many of them do not look good and do not portray a 'feminine' image - but that judgement is probably based on stereotypes that I have accumulated over the years. There are other times (especially in the summer) when I see many ladies presenting themselves in a well dressed manner with excellent make-up.
My wife always wears lovely clothes, almost always dresses, occasionally skirts, never trousers; always heels of some form, never trainers; lipstick but no other make-up. Hardly a week goes by without her receiving compliments from people about town on her clothes and appearance.
I, on the other hand, am usually in skirts though I do wear trousers at times (but always with a classy feminine blouse or top) and always spend a bit of time on makeup just to try and hide some of my manliness. I probably spend more time fussing about what I wear and doing at least some make-up than my wife does. But despite all that I can probably count on the fingers of the aforementioned hand the number of times I have been complimented. Nevertheless we are fairly frequently addressed as 'ladies' together, so I must be doing something right.
But those ramblings don't really answer your question, do they? In the end I think there is a lot in what you say Alexandra. In some ways there is a convergence in presentation attitudes between men and women, but it is not universal and probably varies from location to location.
Rebecca x
Well Alexandra, I'm an out and open intersex person. I wear women's clothes because they fit me the best. You can check my profile for more info on all that if you wish. I just live daily as an older woman. While I have some very nice clothes, I generally wear some sort of blend-in clothes daily to suit the situation. So today, I started out in a red scoop top, skinny jeans, red socks, red baseball cap and black Nike runners along with my Maidenform push-up bra and Warner's seamless panties. I drove 40 miles to visit my sister at her nursing home, stopped at Goodwill to look for a short black dress jacket and then again at Joann's to get some fabric glue and finally at a gas station for chocolate milk. When I returned home, I ate lunch and then changed clothes for farm work. This consisted of a green Henley, a green flannel shirt, heavy patched and torn jeans over blue pattern tights, a Maidenform Tshirt bra and Wolverine leather boots. Everything else stayed the same. It was hot today and I was driving a tractor most of the time. Then at four I came in totally soaked with sweat and changed everything again for evening church. I put on a fresh Maidenform Tshirt bra, clean Warner's panties, straight blue jeans, a beige oxford shirt and Dr. Scholl's white hospital shoes. All of these items I'm still wearing as I write this post with the exception that I changed after church to a multi-color tie-dyed scoop top, a grey speckled sweater and grey ripped jeans. So to me, I just had a regular clothes day blending in. I looked OK for what I was doing and never thought about it. This was just me being clean and average. If I'm going out to dance, then I'll wear heels, makeup, nails, pantyhose, a strapless little black dress and a pushup bra to match. I will try to look hot but not slutty. Again, I will blend in, dance the night away and then the next day go back to my regular dressing routine. I sometimes wonder if I've just become a dull slob in my dressing but then think that I also have a daily life and don't need to impress anyone. As a woman, I do change more often than I did as a man but just try to be comfortable and presentable. For me it's not crossdressing but just real life. I don't think that I'm any more or less feminine than women in general but hope that this helps to explain my views on your question. Marg
Sorry but I have to completely disagree! I can only assume that your idea of femininity is very narrowly defined by a certain style of clothing. Most women (probably even the vast majority) I see have some or all of styled/dyed hair, some makeup, brows done, nails, jewelry.
Is there anything more feminine than leggings? Something that a CD would find hard to pull off and have you considered the thought that a cis-woman puts into picking the right underwear to go with skinny jeans or leggings.
It seems to be a regular theme on here that women no longer dress like they are in a 1950's TV sit-com, well, when in guy mode do you dress like you are in a 1950's sit-com, e.g. wear a suit and tie at home in the evening. Femininity is not defined by clothing, styles move on and I see a lot of cis-women in very feminine styles, dresses, skirts, makeup, lip fillers, microbladed brows. Add to that the styles trends from social media and I would say women are under more pressure than ever to be "feminine" what ever that means
@butteryeffect A very good answer Cathy, women are under a constant pressure to look good.
@butteryeffect good points. Im sure many of us have thought “ if I were a woman I’d wear a dress and heels every day” but would never think of wearing a suit and tie every day as a man. Most men would love to see women in dresses and most women would love to see men in suits but alas comfort is king in the 21st century. Crossdressing is a long way from the real deal
@romanticale I'll admit I haven't read every reply above, so I'll preface this with: someone may have said this already.
Cis women (I'll keep it to this group as I believe this is what you mean by 'natural women') are women every day, all day. I would expect the majority of them do take their femininity to a high level for certain occasions. I would also expect that some do it most days simply because they love how it makes them feel. However, cis women can't take it off. They can't take a break from being a woman, and, like being a man, there are some trade-offs in that. It's not all upside.
However, I expect very few CDs get to be feminine a few times a month at most, and likely the vast majority far less often. Therefore when they do express their femininity, they go all out - 1) because they are getting a likely rare opportunity to celebrate it, and 2) because, being men, they feel they have a lot to compensate for. I don't feel I'm overly masculine, but I don't think I leave any box of femininity unchecked.
I don't have to be practical about it because the next day I don't have to do it - and thank goodness because it takes me two hours minimum! If I had to do it every day, my look would be far more simple and practical because I don't have that kind of time to devote to it day in and day out - like the majority of cis women.
Quite frankly, I suppose I'd say if dolling up hasn't yet given you a much greater appreciation for what women go through, it may be time to reflect. 😉
Personally, no! I try to look feminine in photos but in terms of mannerisms and behavior I don’t even try! I’m a male just having fun dressing up
